The Black Bridget Jones-mindless rantings of a dissatisfied lunatic...
It's been a long time comin...
Posted 05-24-2008 at 03:34 AM by Shoewhore
I haven't blogged in a minute. But it's almost 3:30am, I'm up, I'm feelin some kinda way and there's nobody to call with this foolishness.
I dunno what the fuck I'm doing with my life. Like seriously. Prexactly WHAT am I doing? I'm totally confused. I know what I want--almost. I know what it looks like but I just don't know what it consists of. That's a terrible thing and I'm not getting any younger. I'll be thankful that I have a job that allows me to live a lifestyle that is comfortable and can be enjoyable if I was able to enjoy anything. I'll be thankful for that. I AM thankful for that. The rest needs some work.
I dunno where my head was or what the hell I was thinking to allow myself to actually like someone. Not want to fuck him. Not want to hang out with him. But to really want to get to know him and see where it goes. I don't do that. That's not me!! And then to get all carried away before knowing the facts? I'm a colossal idiot. Yup. To be so smart, I'm one dumb fucking chick. Dumb as dirt I tell ya.
Maybe I'm hormonal and that's causing me to be overly emotional. I mean he IS adorable as can be, very nice, intelligent, with a very sweet disposition. But is that enough to turn me stupid? I was a cheesy grinning idiot for several days behind this dude. I FUCKING SKIPPED!! What 34 year old woman skips?? And TWIRLS?? AT WORK?? Damn! I was gone. I'm glad for this reality check b/c I could have been stuck straight on stupid for a very long time over this dude. That's totally ungood. It's totally NOT ME is what it is. I don't luh the hoes! I don't like them either. I know better than to try and participate. And I won't do that shit NO MORE! Sex-yes! Fun-yes! The rest is a big fat NO! Basically b/c the rest is bullshit. Total and utter cow dung.
Mr. Beisbol is gonna be around. He's a fucking asshole. But he's a familiar asshole. I know where I stand. I know the ins and outs of him and this crazy dance we do. So that's what I'll stick with. What I fucking know.
I dunno what the fuck I'm doing with my life. Like seriously. Prexactly WHAT am I doing? I'm totally confused. I know what I want--almost. I know what it looks like but I just don't know what it consists of. That's a terrible thing and I'm not getting any younger. I'll be thankful that I have a job that allows me to live a lifestyle that is comfortable and can be enjoyable if I was able to enjoy anything. I'll be thankful for that. I AM thankful for that. The rest needs some work.
I dunno where my head was or what the hell I was thinking to allow myself to actually like someone. Not want to fuck him. Not want to hang out with him. But to really want to get to know him and see where it goes. I don't do that. That's not me!! And then to get all carried away before knowing the facts? I'm a colossal idiot. Yup. To be so smart, I'm one dumb fucking chick. Dumb as dirt I tell ya.
Maybe I'm hormonal and that's causing me to be overly emotional. I mean he IS adorable as can be, very nice, intelligent, with a very sweet disposition. But is that enough to turn me stupid? I was a cheesy grinning idiot for several days behind this dude. I FUCKING SKIPPED!! What 34 year old woman skips?? And TWIRLS?? AT WORK?? Damn! I was gone. I'm glad for this reality check b/c I could have been stuck straight on stupid for a very long time over this dude. That's totally ungood. It's totally NOT ME is what it is. I don't luh the hoes! I don't like them either. I know better than to try and participate. And I won't do that shit NO MORE! Sex-yes! Fun-yes! The rest is a big fat NO! Basically b/c the rest is bullshit. Total and utter cow dung.
Mr. Beisbol is gonna be around. He's a fucking asshole. But he's a familiar asshole. I know where I stand. I know the ins and outs of him and this crazy dance we do. So that's what I'll stick with. What I fucking know.
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