Heartbreak Hotel - The Lipstick Alley Relationship Forum

birthmark · 07-02-2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d nastii

First off, I'm a lil embarassed to post this because you'd think that by the time you're near mid-20's, you'd be past Myspace/Facebook/Twitter drama.* But I guess I'm not... so don't judge me!

Basically, me and my ex haven't talked to each other in about 3 months.* We went from best friends for 10 years, to relationship status, and I tried to downgrade it to friends again because we just weren't good as a couple.* He didn't like that and said if we couldn't be in a relationship then he wanted nothing to do with me.* He was very cold and insisted that he didn't have anything else to say to me, and that he couldn't be "just friends" with me.* It hurt because he was my best friend for years, but I slowly started to get past it and move on.

Anyway, last week I got one of those generic email invitation from Facebook saying he joined FB and invited me to join.* I know FB can go through your email contacts and hook you up with the people in your address book.* Since he had JUST signed up, I figured it was a just a mass invation he sent out and that he didn't realize he let FB send one to me as well.*

This past weekend I signed up for FB anyway because I had been meaning to for a while to promote a website I'm starting up.* Once I was logged in, it said I had 1 friend confirmation waiting (from the ex).* I knew it was probably done automatically from the invitation he sent out.* Still not knowing whether it was a mistake on his part or not, I ignored it.* Didn't confirm or deny, just left it alone and decided to wait and see what happens.* I had already embarassed myself enough by practically begging him to stay friends with me, so I was not about to accept it and embarass myself AGAIN and have him say it was a mistake.

I had only been on FB for a few days when I saw that he cancelled his friend request to me. So now I'm thinking A) He had just noticed I was a pending friend and realized he didn't mean to invite me so he cancelled it or B) He saw I didn't accept his request right away and got angry and cancelled it.

I said/did nothing, went on about my business. The next day (yesterday) I noticed that he changed the privacy settings on his page.* We're in the same "network"- before I could see everything on his profile, but now he has it set to where I can't see the messages people leave on his wall, or his friends list.*

I have a link to my website posted on my page.* I check the site statistics daily and I saw that he's been on it a total of 4 times in one night for a total of 16 minutes... and all it says right now is "Coming Soon."!

Okay, this is all over the place, so I'll wrap it up.* I guess I'm just trying to figure out if he's playing games, or if it really was a mistake that he invited me to FB and now wants to backtrack. It all sounds silly, but this was once a very true and dear friend to me, I feel betrayed by how easily he was able to drop me as a friend, and I'm just trying to interpret this recent behavior. Am I making something out of absolutely nothing?

Lawd forgive me for giving a damn about some Facebook drama and thank YOU for being understanding ;)

How do you check site statistics on facebook bc I want to know who is checking my sh*t !!!!

d nastii · 07-03-2009, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by birthmark

How do you check site statistics on facebook bc I want to know who is checking my sh*t !!!!

Lol, I wish. No, I have a separate website and I posted the link to that site on my facebook page. It's a program called Site Analytics. Basically any site that's trying to make money/draw in advertisers needs a program that gives a breakdown of every single person who visits the site, how often, etc. So that's how I found out he was lurking my shit.

birthmark · 07-03-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d nastii

Lol, I wish. No, I have a separate website and I posted the link to that site on my facebook page. It's a program called Site Analytics. Basically any site that's trying to make money/draw in advertisers needs a program that gives a breakdown of every single person who visits the site, how often, etc. So that's how I found out he was lurking my shit.

lol girl I was just checking bc I dont play that...

Most Definitely · 07-04-2009, 04:22 AM

If this was a woman on here saying she was in love with her ex, but he would not commit fully to her, but would not let her go COMPLETELY and insisted on keeping her around as a 'friend', EVERYONE in here would be saying ''girl, you need to cut him out your life because your only gonna get hurt in the end''

But because the roles are reversed, what? Its different. Miss me with that.
O.P this man is in love with you. You are not in love with him. Do you kn ow how painful it is to have someone in your life, but not really 'have them' That is the pain he is feeling.

And for all your proclamations of 'wanting to be his friend' you're doing the complete opposite.
If you truly cared for him as a friend and wanted him to fully move on and heal from you, you would let him go. So he could do JUST THAT. Having you around him is NOT going to allow him to do that, because it is a constant reminder.

You want it both ways, and its not fair on him,
be selfless and let him go.

mariano42 · 07-05-2009, 02:29 AM

cliff notes anybody?

honestly speaking i think you should just leave it alone and just use you FB account for your site only, nothing else.

this is one of the few reasons i retired from the social networking sites a while ago. besides theres a recession and i got bigger fish to fry besides worrying about updating my pictures or responding back to messages.

Bmorelyketip · 07-07-2009, 09:26 AM

When someone sends you a friend request you can see parts of their page because they requested you. If you ignore it or they cancel it you can no longer see what you used to.....

~TIP~

Heartbreak Hotel - The Lipstick Alley Relationship Forum

damn facebook and all the dramatics that come with it!