What makes a woman seem approachable?
I am a very kind, intelligent, funny and very attractive female. When I go out, I get all of the stares, which sometimes makes me uncomfortable, especially when I'm out with other girlfriends. i would consider myself to be a very friendly person, but that's ALL I get-no one will approach me or start conversation. The men that do approach me are usually intoxicated and below my standards. I'm not talking about only at bars, anywhere mainly. People that I get to know and become friends with always say I'm so different than they thought I'd be. They thought I'd be a "Bitch". How can I stop this? Do things differently? Be more approachable? I know this may seem ridiculous-- the "pretty girl's problem", but it really IS a problem for me-everyday!

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*sigh*....



So the men who do approach you, are below your standards? But men do approach.

So really the question is, who is it you want to approach??

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*sits attentively indian style waiting for a response*


I will be taking notes on this. It would be nice to hear from the gentleman since they are the ones that tell me I look mean.


*sorry for hijacking your thread Diva2988! but I can relate to some of the points you made*

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A friendly smile on your face goes a long way.

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most likely has to do with the way you carry yourself.

as a guy, when i look at a girl i can think one of two things:

"wow, she's fucking fine, i wouldn't mind hitting that"

or

"damn, i could totally picture her being my wife someday"

the latter usually gets a convo, while the former is strictly eye candy for me. of course everyone is different, but that's the way it works with me

I always tell my friends to smile and make eye contact. Also, if you're being shady to the dudes you're really not interested in, the ones you ARE interested in will see that and think you're going to do them the same way. So be friendly to everyone, not just your friends and people who meet "your standards" otherwise you will come off as a "*****".

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It's not your fault I blame society...

The world is filled with a bunch of pussies or GROWN Boys

For most men just seeing and being in the presence of a hot girl causes them to get nervous and uptight, there whole way of acting is being affected by the attractive chick.

Guys don't know how to get in touch with there Self-Esteem (Not EGO) and act how they were when they were a kid. A kid isn't intimidated to look or talk to anyone.

I realized this when I used to walk in parts of Manhattan and daily I'd see GORGEOUS women every single time I went there. Models, wannabe models, actresses, students, fashion designers, etc.

What hit me was that I used to think "Am I the only one who think these chicks are hot? Why haven't I seen not ONE person approach any of these chicks."

Up to this day I've yet to see another person who has approached any of those chicks, even though I know a few guys who go to those parts to meet women, but the average male population is too pussy to approach.

It's not there fault though, it really isn't socially correct to just randomly talk to strangers, but from my experience women love a MAN to come and chat them up.

For me I had no other option but to apporach chicks I found attractive, because my social circle is all in college, chicks who go to my school or works with me is off limits. So only other alternative is to talk to the chicks on the street.

As for your question...

Only thing you can actually do is smile and say hi to them, if they can't keep the ball rolling...after you've just broke the ice...then I don't think that is a man you want lol.

My biggest pet peeve is the stupid headphones or cell phones while there walking down a crowded street. I got to go over the top just to get her attention off the phone or ipod and shake her reality a bit.

I feel ya. I hate when I go out, and attractive men look but don't approach. Then some guy with a stocking on his head will come up to my conservative looking self and try to holla.

I think what it is is the intoxicated or substandard guys are used to being rejected, so they have no fear. The more attractive men either don't want to take the risk or are used to women coming up to them.

yeah ,but thats from your experience

A few things

#1
There are 2 types of people in the world that we allow to get away with things that we would never allow others to get away with, and they are

Pretty People
Smart People

since you say that you are both, you deserve a little friction in your life, it'll help balance you out.........
*Moe you need to get help for that one*

#2
Take a look at the kind of bait that you are using to lure with. If you want dogs then use meat, if you want a real man, you gotta show em a real woman and only a "Real" woman can do that.

*insert Ms. M, ~Allure~, ~Ticket~,Socialite, Individ, Tamikins and a host of others*

I'm out and please leave your payment on the table by the door, and no I don't make change.......ROFL

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I think being approachable is key...smile, and flirt a little with your eyes letting him know "hey its okay to say hi" or you can even smile then wave or put up a hand in acknowledgement...

If I am at an auto store, home depot, or loews, ask a question about a product or service...

At the bar, tell the bartender to give the man whatever it is he is drinking...

All I'm saying is...stop waiting for him to break the ice...you might be surprised that a good looking man may have the same issues as you do...substandard and/or innebriated individuals approaching them...

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I never thought about it like that... I'll let me daughter know that one (when/if I ever have one)

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I think that pretty women get labelled as 'stuck up' a bitch, or full of drama or to have/ had a lot of men. I know it isn't always the case, but seems like a 'pretty girl curse' then the 'negative' pretty women recieve is having a load of men 'going over the top' in a attempt to approach you. Which can just be embarrsing...

ITA!