My s/o asked me when I thought I should meet his Mama...I said after 6 months of formal dating I need to meet a female relative or at least speak with them by phone, preferably Mom but Sisters will do...lastly female cousins.

He said that he has only been to his hometown 3x since high school and I probably won't meet his Mama. He said his sister was more likely.

Last time a friend of mine didn't meet her man's Mama, 4 years later she was the last to know he was married with 2 kids in a half a million dollar home she had never been in.



Are you ok with not meeting Mama after some years, even though they aren't estranged?

__________________

Its not something Ive ever thought about as being necessary to do, but they wont be meeting mine so its not that serious. Speak to by phone?? Not something I would ever think to request either.
*
*
*
Wait, ok I've thought about it, and still can't figure out why its necessary unless I were thinking of marriage and the blending of families. Needless to say, nobody has ever had me thinking of marriage.

I don't want to meet nobody why so they can put they two cents in?

__________________

No...I think you should meet the parents (esp Mama) as part of the dating process. Especially if they are NOT estranged since it provides some valuable clues about the person you are involved with.

I was at your friend meeting mama and finding out about his wife and kids.

Same thing here. I love my mom, but of all the boyfriends I have had, she has only met ONE and even that was by accident,lol.

Far as the guy and meeting his parents, THE MAJORITY of the guys I have dated MADE meet their parents within 3 months of dating. I am not the type of girl that demands to meet the parents (ESPECIALLY the mother, because well you all know how moms can be of another female in her sons life.) I usually just let the guy decide IF and WHEN he wants me to meet them. I dont mind NOT meeting them during the dating stage, but if we are engaged then that is MOST DEF a priority that needs to be taken care of.

If you guys are just dating for fun with no plans to be truly serious or marry, then ya, I guess there's no need to meet each others parents.


But if you are in the type of relationship that you think will go somewhere, then um, ya you should at least meet his mom sometime. I would not be with someone who doesn't want me to meet their folks. like WTF is that??

__________________

Same here!! The last (only) guy to meet my parents FORCED his way into meeting them, I was PISSED!! He was real slick about it too.

As far as their parents, I avoid it, as I don't want to lead them into thinking it's more serious that what it is. I have no need to do it at all during the dating stage, but if we reach the relationship stage I could see how it'd just happen naturally, if the parents are local.

My folks live out of state, shit, I barely see them myself! Ill be damned if I'm bringing some date home to my families x-mas and thanksgiving unless its SUPER serious. And even then he'd have to sleep at a hotel LOL.

Yall made me sad now, I wish these clowns would give me a reason to think about all that:'(

After having my mother-in-law live with us i wish i never had met her!!!! LOL

__________________

After living close to his family. I can say I wish that I never met ANY of them!!! My MIL is the most inconsiderate person on Earth!!! My FIL think we are his personal Bank Of America. My husband's twin brother is Selfish as heyl! His older brother is a NASTY LAZY PIG. Their entire family like to keep up mess and judge people. ugggghhhhh....those people make my ass itch!!!!....

My advice is to wait for as long as you can...Then again you can't go by my experience. Mine is so complicated....that was just part of the madness....

__________________

It depends on how serious the relationship is. If you plan on settling down and having a family and all that you need to meet his mother, unless of course he has no relationship with his mother-->but even then you should at least know what she looks like. If the relationship isn't that serious and it doesn't become that serious until a few years later then I would be comfortable with not meeting the parents. It really all depends on what type of relationship he has with his family though because if you get married you'll probably end up dealing with them all.

__________________

parents are an important part of who a man is.


I love my mother.


I take her to church every sunday.






And I would gladly take my special someone to meet her on a sunday brunch with my pastor of course.

This would all come before we would ever lay together. I am a traditional sort of man.

Aint mad at that at all, you go boy. You keep being sweet and you will most def find you a lady that can and WILL appreciate it and you.



For some damn reason I cant get that Sensitivity song by Ralph Transvent (sp?) out of my mind now,lol.

Well, I'm glad the OP cares enough to meet relatives, but think about the woman who gave birth to this guy. The fact that she will never meet the woman that could potentially spend the rest of her life with her son, possibly even raise his kids.

My mother is in that situation now. She hasn't met my brother's girlfriend and they're engaged. It is so weird...

I need a you.

~LeToya Luckett~
2009

__________________