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White friend is attached to me and steals and copies my ideas

Cupcake09

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So I'm in my final year of grad school and last year I became good friends with a white girl in my program. I thought she was nice, but I also felt like something about her was a little off too. I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships. At the time I didn't think too much of this, but it also made me feel weird because I barely knew her at that point and she was already giving me too much info.

One aspect of my master's program is participating in an internship and you have to apply to be accepted into the internship program based on your grades. I was accepted into the program while she was waitlisted (this was a month into school) and I remember when people in our program were happily sharing how they got into the internship program but when I told her I was accepted she didn't look happy for me at all. She actually looked pretty upset and surprised I got in. I noticed that very quickly she claimed me as her best friend which I brushed off at first because she was new in town and I thought maybe she wanted to make friends but then it started to get weird. I felt like she tried to isolate me from other classmates and always appeared shocked when I would get opportunities or make other friends. The stupid thing was that she would be making other friends too but would always exclude me from hangouts or group activities. The majority of people in my program including myself are new to the city so it kind of bugged me.

I noticed that she would always try to spy on me and ask me what I was up to, where I was going, and what my plans were. Then she would copy those plans (but would never invite me when she was with other classmates). I think early in the friendship I mentioned one of my lifelong dreams was to create a community development foundation in the future and then a few months later she told me she was planning on creating a social justice foundation with a few classmates, and she would be the president of it. She would also get really quiet when a professor would like my ideas in class - as if she didn't expect it.

I decided to stop telling her certain things because I found her off putting but then a classmate (who's Asian) told me in confidence that my white friend has been telling her my business - the fact that I had a bad breakup, that I didn't get along with my roommates, and the fact my employer at my internship was planning on hiring me. My Asian classmate told me she is telling me this because she found it uncomfortable when the white girl was telling her all my business. My Asian classmate also told me the white girl would spy on her too, and would get upset when the Asian girl (an international student) would get opportunities, and was very needy and manipulative. My Asian classmate said she is keeping her distance from the white girl after seeing her for who she truly is.

I've decided to keep my distance from the white girl but she is so clingy and needy I don't know how. She makes everything into a competition even the most miniscule things. She's admitted to me she has low self esteem and doubts herself a lot but I don't think that's an excuse to be a weirdo to people. It's also annoying because she has a lot of good things going for herself already, so I don't know why she's like this
 

Coco Campbell

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White friend is attached to me and steals and copies my ideas.​

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A yt friend...if you love it then we like it. Anyways here is some food for thought.

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LatxLeather

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Sooooo keep your thoughts and ideas where they belong . In your head.
If asked, say you do not have it. Give something else you are not working on instead of what you are working on.
 

Cupcake09

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Sooooo keep your thoughts and ideas where they belong . In your head.
If asked, say you do not have it. Give something else you are not working on instead of what you are working on.
I do that but she has me on LinkedIn so she follows my job updates
 

Nova2kBussit

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So I'm in my final year of grad school and last year I became good friends with a white girl in my program. I thought she was nice, but I also felt like something about her was a little off too. I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships. At the time I didn't think too much of this, but it also made me feel weird because I barely knew her at that point and she was already giving me too much info.

One aspect of my master's program is participating in an internship and you have to apply to be accepted into the internship program based on your grades. I was accepted into the program while she was waitlisted (this was a month into school) and I remember when people in our program were happily sharing how they got into the internship program but when I told her I was accepted she didn't look happy for me at all. She actually looked pretty upset and surprised I got in. I noticed that very quickly she claimed me as her best friend which I brushed off at first because she was new in town and I thought maybe she wanted to make friends but then it started to get weird. I felt like she tried to isolate me from other classmates and always appeared shocked when I would get opportunities or make other friends. The stupid thing was that she would be making other friends too but would always exclude me from hangouts or group activities. The majority of people in my program including myself are new to the city so it kind of bugged me.

I noticed that she would always try to spy on me and ask me what I was up to, where I was going, and what my plans were. Then she would copy those plans (but would never invite me when she was with other classmates). I think early in the friendship I mentioned one of my lifelong dreams was to create a community development foundation in the future and then a few months later she told me she was planning on creating a social justice foundation with a few classmates, and she would be the president of it. She would also get really quiet when a professor would like my ideas in class - as if she didn't expect it.

I decided to stop telling her certain things because I found her off putting but then a classmate (who's Asian) told me in confidence that my white friend has been telling her my business - the fact that I had a bad breakup, that I didn't get along with my roommates, and the fact my employer at my internship was planning on hiring me. My Asian classmate told me she is telling me this because she found it uncomfortable when the white girl was telling her all my business. My Asian classmate also told me the white girl would spy on her too, and would get upset when the Asian girl (an international student) would get opportunities, and was very needy and manipulative. My Asian classmate said she is keeping her distance from the white girl after seeing her for who she truly is.

I've decided to keep my distance from the white girl but she is so clingy and needy I don't know how. She makes everything into a competition even the most miniscule things. She's admitted to me she has low self esteem and doubts herself a lot but I don't think that's an excuse to be a weirdo to people. It's also annoying because she has a lot of good things going for herself already, so I don't know why she's like this
Baby I don't even need to read all this to tell you to run. I don't even (often) do relationships with white women but clingy white women are my number 1 pet peeve, they have everything in the world but then have the audacity to scratch on my black ass door —gtfoh.

Even race aside, why would you want to be friends with someone who makes you uncomfortable AND gossips about you? If I were you, I'd ghost her, delete her everything from social media to number and stop hanging around with people she's close with, and if she confronts you about it, tell her with a straight face that she's clingy and you hate that. (Don't give her ANY chance to "change". You might be dealing with something more serious.

If all else fails, and you have it in you, just be a passive aggressive b!tch to her.
 

herbalmintea

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You should definitely cut her off. This is why I no longer have too many female friends. Many women are very jealous and mean spirited. I had a friend just like this but I cut her off once I realized that she was envious of me and lowkey competing with me. She admitted to me that she has jealousy issues, which is a huge red flag. She copied my plans, my looks. I wasn’t the only one. She pretty much copied anyone that was close to her. She went to school to pursue a certain career but once she saw one of her other friends doing well in his career she pursued that one. She’s deeply mentally ill. You can’t have people like that at close proximity to you. They’ll try to ruin your life, trust me.

Also, be weary of people who tell you all of their traumas when you first meet them. I had a co-worker who told me her life story and I barely knew her. The more I got to know her, the more I found out how crazy she was. I blocked her once I found out she was talking trash about me behind my back.
 
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Tenderoni3

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So I'm in my final year of grad school and last year I became good friends with a white girl in my program. I thought she was nice, but I also felt like something about her was a little off too. I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships. At the time I didn't think too much of this, but it also made me feel weird because I barely knew her at that point and she was already giving me too much info.

One aspect of my master's program is participating in an internship and you have to apply to be accepted into the internship program based on your grades. I was accepted into the program while she was waitlisted (this was a month into school) and I remember when people in our program were happily sharing how they got into the internship program but when I told her I was accepted she didn't look happy for me at all. She actually looked pretty upset and surprised I got in. I noticed that very quickly she claimed me as her best friend which I brushed off at first because she was new in town and I thought maybe she wanted to make friends but then it started to get weird. I felt like she tried to isolate me from other classmates and always appeared shocked when I would get opportunities or make other friends. The stupid thing was that she would be making other friends too but would always exclude me from hangouts or group activities. The majority of people in my program including myself are new to the city so it kind of bugged me.

I noticed that she would always try to spy on me and ask me what I was up to, where I was going, and what my plans were. Then she would copy those plans (but would never invite me when she was with other classmates). I think early in the friendship I mentioned one of my lifelong dreams was to create a community development foundation in the future and then a few months later she told me she was planning on creating a social justice foundation with a few classmates, and she would be the president of it. She would also get really quiet when a professor would like my ideas in class - as if she didn't expect it.

I decided to stop telling her certain things because I found her off putting but then a classmate (who's Asian) told me in confidence that my white friend has been telling her my business - the fact that I had a bad breakup, that I didn't get along with my roommates, and the fact my employer at my internship was planning on hiring me. My Asian classmate told me she is telling me this because she found it uncomfortable when the white girl was telling her all my business. My Asian classmate also told me the white girl would spy on her too, and would get upset when the Asian girl (an international student) would get opportunities, and was very needy and manipulative. My Asian classmate said she is keeping her distance from the white girl after seeing her for who she truly is.

I've decided to keep my distance from the white girl but she is so clingy and needy I don't know how. She makes everything into a competition even the most miniscule things. She's admitted to me she has low self esteem and doubts herself a lot but I don't think that's an excuse to be a weirdo to people. It's also annoying because she has a lot of good things going for herself already, so I don't know why she's like this
She's a narcissist, avoid her at all costs. Whatta deeply disturbed girl
 

SouthernNotCountry

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Fix this title, yt bishes are not your friend. Disconnect and block her on all of your accounts, do not tell her any of your business or moves.
 

Rexo

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If you're gonna befriend a white woman, don't tell her sh!t. Keep her at arm's length and move in silence. Block her from all your social medias and make sure she knows that you don't want to hang out with her anymore. Keep your distance.

You have to understand, she'll take you as a friend, but like any white woman she doesn't want you succeeding or doing better than her. She will feel a type of way when you are given opportunities because she feels naturally due to her whiteness she should be given these things first and it should be only for her and not to a black woman or a woman of color.

She's playing you and the Asian girl as the puppets, and she your puppeteer. You better not continue talking to her OP, cos she already showed her true colors more than once. Move in silence and keep things to yourself.

I have a yt acquaintance and sees me as her friend, she stay telling me her business but I don't share anything to her.
 
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logania

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If someone shows who they are believe them the first time.
 

Triela

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She sounds exactly like Sae from Peach Girl. People like her won't stop at nothing until she takes your image as her own. If she is already stalking you, who knows what she'll do next. Try to discreetly plant warning signs that she isn't any good to others. She may have more than one host that is experiencing the same issues. Eventually she'll be the common denominator.
 

OceanBreeze9

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This woman is trying to get close to you in order to distract you (in a negative way) because she sees you are succeeding. She also sees you as a stepping stone to getting ahead in her education because you are achieving. This is why she’s clinging on to you and copying you.
 

Gin&Tonic

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Never let white people who are not as together as you are "attach' to you. She is using you to elevate herself. Don't be her mule.
Let this friendship fade away.
 

crystalsbutnotmeth

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Lol I had a white “friend” like this. She openly told me she was jealous and wanted everything I have. Just save yourself some time and sanity and block her.
 

OceanBreeze9

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They hate seeing intelligence and success in black people. They will strive hard to surpass you by using underhanded and sneaky methods. Let her find ways to make it on her own and/or let her use someone else.

A lot of times when you experience someone suddenly and quickly clinging and attaching themselves on to you, there really is a hidden agenda underlying in the situation. Real friendships develop gradually and more naturally.
 

Incokneegrow

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lol @ the asian girl having to put your naive ass on to her antics smdh.
 
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RichNatural

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Sounds about white. No originality and bland, so they always steal.

That Asian chick gets it. Cut that crazy woman off.
 

Cupcake09

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She sounds exactly like Sae from Peach Girl. People like her won't stop at nothing until she takes your image as her own. If she is already stalking you, who knows what she'll do next. Try to discreetly plant warning signs that she isn't any good to others. She may have more than one host that is experiencing the same issues. Eventually she'll be the common denominator.
I'm friends with a guy in my program and after talking to him about her he said he too found it weird how she was revealing her traumas to people she barely knew. Apparently she told him a lot of personal information the first week of our program. I later found out that at her undergrad uni she was involved in several student groups and people accused of her being racist which ruined her rep at the school (conveniently she has a black bf now)
 

Dutchess

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That ain’t your friend. No white woman is ever a real friend to a black woman. They are jealous & envious. I learned that in high school.
 

Blackpearl

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I do that but she has me on LinkedIn so she follows my job updates
You can end that connection on LinkedIn. In fact, you should. This woman is a user who tries to make herself successful from using other people's ideas. She sounds emotionally unstable and like a typical mediocre pale who will backstab to get what she wants.
 
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So I'm in my final year of grad school and last year I became good friends with a white girl in my program. I thought she was nice, but I also felt like something about her was a little off too. I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships. At the time I didn't think too much of this, but it also made me feel weird because I barely knew her at that point and she was already giving me too much info.

One aspect of my master's program is participating in an internship and you have to apply to be accepted into the internship program based on your grades. I was accepted into the program while she was waitlisted (this was a month into school) and I remember when people in our program were happily sharing how they got into the internship program but when I told her I was accepted she didn't look happy for me at all. She actually looked pretty upset and surprised I got in. I noticed that very quickly she claimed me as her best friend which I brushed off at first because she was new in town and I thought maybe she wanted to make friends but then it started to get weird. I felt like she tried to isolate me from other classmates and always appeared shocked when I would get opportunities or make other friends. The stupid thing was that she would be making other friends too but would always exclude me from hangouts or group activities. The majority of people in my program including myself are new to the city so it kind of bugged me.

I noticed that she would always try to spy on me and ask me what I was up to, where I was going, and what my plans were. Then she would copy those plans (but would never invite me when she was with other classmates). I think early in the friendship I mentioned one of my lifelong dreams was to create a community development foundation in the future and then a few months later she told me she was planning on creating a social justice foundation with a few classmates, and she would be the president of it. She would also get really quiet when a professor would like my ideas in class - as if she didn't expect it.

I decided to stop telling her certain things because I found her off putting but then a classmate (who's Asian) told me in confidence that my white friend has been telling her my business - the fact that I had a bad breakup, that I didn't get along with my roommates, and the fact my employer at my internship was planning on hiring me. My Asian classmate told me she is telling me this because she found it uncomfortable when the white girl was telling her all my business. My Asian classmate also told me the white girl would spy on her too, and would get upset when the Asian girl (an international student) would get opportunities, and was very needy and manipulative. My Asian classmate said she is keeping her distance from the white girl after seeing her for who she truly is.

I've decided to keep my distance from the white girl but she is so clingy and needy I don't know how. She makes everything into a competition even the most miniscule things. She's admitted to me she has low self esteem and doubts herself a lot but I don't think that's an excuse to be a weirdo to people. It's also annoying because she has a lot of good things going for herself already, so I don't know why she's like this

It would not surprise me - if all the stuff she told you about her being abused - was a lie to get you to feel empathy for her, so she can get closer to you faster. Also - to get you to tell her your business. Instead of love bomb - this seems like a sympathy bomb to get close.

Block her on everything. And....watch your friends after. It would not suprise me - if she tried to be friends with your friends - to get intel on you. Please be careful. This woman wants all that you've got - and she sounds really dangerous. Also - make sure that she does not know your personal info - DOB, family members...ssn. I'm just saying...
 

FruitCake

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Omg your classmate sounds EXACTLY like my coworker word for word but she's black though. All I can tell you is to keep your distance and stop sharing info with her. Because that's what I would tell my past self because I already faced the consequences of trusting her too much and feeling bad for her.
 

mollflanders

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I think this should have been one of those blog posts. OP had no questions and had already decided on a course of action. I just want to know why this is in Diaspora.
 

Coco Campbell

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It is IMPOSSIBLE for women to be friends unless everything is dead even and y'all will never be equal because yt is always right on this planet.

1619198505544.png

ABOUT IN THE COMPANY OF WOMEN​

The core idea of the book is the so-called Power Dead-Even Rule, the theory that for two women to forge a positive relationship, their self-esteem and power must be kept "dead even." When one woman gets more power--through a promotion, for example--it sets off tensions. Women sometimes try to redress those status differences, the authors say, through hostility and sniping. The cure for a troubled workplace is to deal honestly with these feelings of competition. The authors say, "From our observations, women are somewhat more comfortable with a powerful woman who plays down her importance than one who does not."

In the Company of Women explains how indirect, or “relational,” aggression can hurt women and hinder them from achieving success and harmony in their adult lives. Gender studies have shown that when a goal is in sight, men generally use direct action to attain it. Women, on the other hand, have been socialized to express aggressive actions through indirect means-using behavior such as shunning, stigmatizing, and
 
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SnipYoFlap

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you need a thicker skin and this lil pest is the best practice you’re gonna get.

block her from everything including your linkedin. don’t you ever feel powerless when it comes to her!
as far as all of her sad life incidents, do not feel sorry for her. most likely if true she uses it to suck people in to feel sorry for her while she’s undermining you!!

keep her, her psychotic tendencies far away from you.
if she ever confronts you or ask where have you been, tell her you are done with her friendship and she is not needed. tell her you moved on and have other things to do:

you do not owe her a damn thing in regards to you and your plans. tell her to find people who can understand where she’s coming from. the looney farm!
 

BetchPIeaze

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ice her. Trust me, i learned the hard way. Watch her be phony as fµck and then play innocent/dumb. Just a fµck!ng energy leech.
 

UrbanChaos

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You should definitely cut her off. This is why I no longer have too many female friends. Many women are very jealous and mean spirited. I had a friend just like this but I cut her off once I realized that she was envious of me and lowkey competing with me. She admitted to me that she has jealousy issues, which is a huge red flag. She copied my plans, my looks. I wasn’t the only one. She pretty much copied anyone that was close to her. She went to school to pursue a certain career but once she saw one of her other friends doing well in his career she pursued that one. She’s deeply mentally ill. You can’t have people like that at close proximity to you. They’ll try to ruin your life, trust me.

Also, be weary of people who tell you all of their traumas when you first meet them. I had a co-worker who told me her life story and I barely knew her. The more I got to know her, the more I found out how crazy she was. I blocked her once I found out she was talking trash about me behind my back.

I knew of a girl like that too! She mirrored people. Depending on the group of friends she was hanging out with, she would change her sense of style and music taste. When she hung out with white people, she listened to rock and expressed how trash reggaeton is. After them, she then hung out with hipster-vegan types and starting mirroring their tacky clothing style and vegan lifestyle. Then after her brief friendship with the hipsters, she suddenly started hanging out with latinos. She suddenly claimed to be a fan of reggaeton even though she couldn’t even name songs by certain artists. . . She also said that she was no longer a fan of rock and that she was ”tired of it”. She also started mirroring their fashion sense. I wonder what the next group she’ll be hanging out with be? People like this usually have a personality disorder of some form and a shaky identity.
 

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