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“My wife inherited $800K. She put $300K toward our mortgage and $500K in her own bank account”

Is the Husband’s feelings warranted?

  • Yes

  • No


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D U N K I N

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TLDR: Husband thinks he is entitled to more of wife’s $800K inheritance AFTER she already paid $300K to their mortgage.

From The Moneyist:
Dear Quentin,

I’ve been married 35 years.

My wife is going to inherit $800,000 and told me she will use $300,000 to pay off our mortgage. The house is worth $450,000. But she will put the remaining $500,000 into her own personal checking account.

I’m 65 and still work. I earn $130,000 a year and plan to continue to work for another five years, as long as I am in good health.
My wife retired two years ago at age 59 after working for 13 years, earning $20,000 a year. She mostly stayed home and helped raise our two children, who are now adults with their own jobs.
My wife gets a small pension and I will also get a pension. We have no savings, no 401(k), nothing. I paid for my kids’ college education. We own one car outright. I have credit-card debt of nearly $80,000. My wife has credit-card debt of $2,800.
What do you think of the way she has treated her inheritance? If we divorce, will I have to pay her alimony?

-Been Working Since I Was 16

Response
Dear Working,

Don’t allow your frustration over this inheritance OR the fact that you have been working since 16 to force you into doing something rash. Your wife has used more than one-third of this money to pay off your joint mortgage. Inheritances are not considered community property, so she is clearly taking her time deciding what to do with it. While that may feel like a slap in the face after 35 years of marriage, she is legally entitled to do that, and personally entitled to do so too.

You don’t say why you have $80,000 in credit-card debt and your wife only has $2,800. Assuming it’s notbecause of your children’s college expenses, this disparity may also reveal that you have different spending habits and abilities to manage your money. That’s a lot of money to have on your credit card, and if you racked up that money on miscellaneous expenses, I can understand why your wife did not believe it was her responsibility to pay off your personal debt.

Imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, ‘Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.’


Given the disparity in your incomes, I can understand why you feel the way you do. But that does not take into account being a stay-at-home mother, which is a full-time job in itself. That, plus her $20,000-a-year job, suggests to me that she more than contributed her fair share of time and labor to the marriage.

Plus, even though she was paid less than you, let’s assume that she worked as hard as anyone for those 13 years. Bottom line: You both worked.

Your question regarding alimony likely depends on where you live, your individual circumstances, the judge, and the size of the inheritance. Previous cases have shown that the income generated from an inheritance can be a factor in determining alimony, even though inheritance is generally considered separate property. You were the major breadwinner, and based on previous cases on inheritance, it’s unlikely to be a major factor in alimony.

Think of it this way: She has just contributed $300,000 to your life together when she could have kept all of that money, and divorced you. Just imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, “Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.”

If you feel upset now, you would be absolutely furious then.
________________________

What a greedy entitled bastard. And the columnist told his ass right. If you were the breadwinner making $130K why don’t you have savings, 401(k), etc and why you got $80K in credit cards? So what were you planning to do before you found out she was getting money?
Also it sounds like she hasn’t gotten the actual money yet and he don’t even know how she actually plans to use it. Yet you already want a divorce because she’s not in a rush you pay off YOUR debt?
The F*ck?
1620229894953.gif
 

QueenBei

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is inheritance supposed to be shared? its not technically income.

eta: okay i went back and read it isnt community property. He should not feel greedy. She ensured the large home debt is paid. what more does he want?
 

BLKBAMBI

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This little bih could not say anything to me about how I spent a dime of my money with this amount of cc debt? How is this possible!
what he was paying on the mortgage he can now pay on his cc debt, easy. his wife is smart because now you have a place to live guaranteed
 

Tabitha

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Nope, she needs to keep it separate so it isn't considered marital assets.

The $300k she put on the mortgage will be marital assets, the 500k won't be.
 

AstoldbyWind

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That’s her money and she was Kind enough to give him a roof over his head. One less thing he has to worry about. Hes living above his means anyways. He need to be more financially responsible.
 

Chonne

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She just paid off the majority of their mortgage what more does he want? Just jealous he's deep with debt even with her basically paying the house.
 

3sugarspls

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I don’t know..he sounds like he’s been the breadwinner the entire marriage and admitted to paying for his kids college education.

She said she’s going to pay down their mortgage and he didn’t explain what else she is doing with the money. What does he want her to do? Pay his credit debt down? I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that, especially after he’s taken care of their entire family financially singlehandedly. We don’t know how that financial burden has impacted his credit use.
 

D U N K I N

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I don’t know..he sounds like he’s been the breadwinner the entire marriage and admitted to paying for his kids college education.

She said she’s going to pay down their mortgage and he didn’t explain what else she is doing with the money. What does he want her to do? Pay his credit debt down? I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that, especially after he’s taken care of their entire family financially singlehandedly. We don’t know how that financial burden has impacted his credit use.
I highly doubt she was going to start living the high life with $500K while he struggled. He was going to be able to enjoy her money with her especially since he now has a house that’s mortgage free. What’s killing me is he didn’t give her a chance to show exactly what she was going to do with the money. Just immediately wanted a divorce because she wasn’t doing “enough”
 

VioletHibiscus

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He should be thankful that she paid the mortgage. He is ungrateful as hell. He has one less bill to worry about with his money hungry ass, yet he’s whining. He needs to learn how to manage his finances better too! She should tell him to kick rocks, I know I would.
 

Caramel56

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First of all that is her money. My grandmother tried to pull this mess as well when my grandfather came into a big inheritance. His name was on the beneficiary, not hers. I had to remind her by law, she is not entitled to any money that my grandfather inherited. Unless she can prove her name is on there. Which we all know she can’t.
 

Urbest

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I don’t know..he sounds like he’s been the breadwinner the entire marriage and admitted to paying for his kids college education.

She said she’s going to pay down their mortgage and he didn’t explain what else she is doing with the money. What does he want her to do? Pay his credit debt down? I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that, especially after he’s taken care of their entire family financially singlehandedly. We don’t know how that financial burden has impacted his credit use.
I agree. If that's my husband of 35 years and he's been the main breadwinner, I would pay off his CC debt. After that, everything goes to me, and he can use the extra money he would for the mortgage to build his savings.
 

Doja Hat

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It's her money. Hes lucky she paid over half of the mortgage. Now he can take him money and pay off his debt and try to put something up for retirement.
 

3sugarspls

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I highly doubt she was going to start living the high life with $500K while he struggled. He was going to be able to enjoy her money with her especially since he now has a house that’s mortgage free. What’s killing me is he didn’t give her a chance to show exactly what she was going to do with the money. Just immediately wanted a divorce because she wasn’t doing “enough”

Yup, either he jumped the gun or he’s feeling some type of way because she’s not being vocal enough about the funds. He just probably wants to retire early. But I will give him the benefit of the doubt because he did admit to singlehandedly taking care of the family and putting his children through college.
 

Santigold

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He sounds resentful she’s able to retire early and he isn’t. And some of y’all sound ridiculous in here saying “well he’s been the breadwinner and paid for his kids to go to college”. Isn’t that his job as a man? To provide for his wife and children?

That $80k worth of debt isn’t her responsibility, it’s his. It’s not her issue that he’s bad at managing his money. His ungrateful ass should be thankful she paid off most of their mortgage.
 
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Pettypisces

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Ugh, I fat fingered it. I meant to vote no. He sounds very entitled and bitter.
 

ChocolateWasted

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Well he said they have no savings so maybe the rest is so they can retire comfortably? I would try to communicate a bit better anout that part if it were my spouse but other than that shes done a significant service by paying down the mortgage. He will now have extra funds to pay down that cc debt and retire BEFORE 5 years if he's smart.
 

4Shyts N Giggles

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How do you work all these years and don't have a pension/401k? He might be feeling a little insecure now that she's the one with money. Relax, what's the rush? She might want to give the kids a lil something something too. Damnn lol
 

WorkItOut

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I can’t get over all the poor decisions that have been made. How are you 65, still working, with no savings, & no 401k, with $80k in credit card debt? I wouldn’t let his dumbass touch any of my money either.
 

EwYouMusty

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Okay...

She inherited 800K. She's going to use 350K to pay off the house, so they won't have a mortgage. He admitted they have no savings, no 401K, so she might look at the remaining money as savings for them. Clearly, she's more frugal than he is. He never said why he has so much credit card debt.

There's like a whole lot missing from this he's purposely not revealing. This is very sad to read, especially if they've been married for so long.
 

Tropical

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Tired of married men thinking that stay at home moms don’t work. It’s a lot of work and it’s unpaid and unacknowledged but it’s work.

He sounds like the type that says running a household and parenting kids is not work but then refuses to change a diaper or cook the kids anything because he is too tired. So is it work or not?
 

enchanted

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Bum ass bastid. It's not his wife's fault that he has no pension or 401k. She paid off the mortgage.

I will admit, it might be "nice" of her to pay off his credit card debt, but I don't know the particular in HOW he got it so high. If it was for the FAMILY, then yeah, I'd help him out, but from the "tone" of this letter he seems like he might be controlling selfish mofo.

Why, at the age of 61 (fool, don't NOBODY want a broke old man!) is he speaking of divorce as if he got a hottie waiting for him somewhere?

Good on the wife. I hope she's making plans to dump his ass.
 

Isisleo86

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The fact that he already jumped to divorce sums him up for me.

She paid off a huge chunk of their mortgage, I wonder what the initial loan amount was for originally.

I'm sure he'll benefit from the other 500K regardless but he seems impatient.
 

Kanethia

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He's an entitled greedy bastard and sounds bitter about the fact that she didn't let him have full dibs over her money. Him jumping straight to the thought of divorce just showcases what type of man that he is. He also seems financially irresponsible and that probably is playing a part in how his wife is deciding to handle her money.
 

Abbie Mills

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I hate when men throw back in your face that they are the breadwinner. She’s already done enough. She paid off their mortgage(or paid most of it off). He seems financially irresponsible with $80,000 in credit card debt(what they hell was he buying?) and no savings. If you were the breadwinner why didn’t you plan for the future?

You are also supposed to pay for your kids education if you can afford it. They are his kids too. Does he want a cookie for doing what he is supposed to do?

This is a lesson to never live above your means like this guy, and start saving for the future as soon as you can.

The nerve of him to suggest divorce just because she is trying to save the money. Has he ever thought that she’s putting it away in a separate account because she knows he is financially irresponsible?
 
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Candi2012

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TLDR: Husband thinks he is entitled to more of wife’s $800K inheritance AFTER she already paid $300K to their mortgage.

From The Moneyist:
Dear Quentin,

I’ve been married 35 years.

My wife is going to inherit $800,000 and told me she will use $300,000 to pay off our mortgage. The house is worth $450,000. But she will put the remaining $500,000 into her own personal checking account.

I’m 65 and still work. I earn $130,000 a year and plan to continue to work for another five years, as long as I am in good health.
My wife retired two years ago at age 59 after working for 13 years, earning $20,000 a year. She mostly stayed home and helped raise our two children, who are now adults with their own jobs.
My wife gets a small pension and I will also get a pension. We have no savings, no 401(k), nothing. I paid for my kids’ college education. We own one car outright. I have credit-card debt of nearly $80,000. My wife has credit-card debt of $2,800.
What do you think of the way she has treated her inheritance? If we divorce, will I have to pay her alimony?

-Been Working Since I Was 16

Response
Dear Working,

Don’t allow your frustration over this inheritance OR the fact that you have been working since 16 to force you into doing something rash. Your wife has used more than one-third of this money to pay off your joint mortgage. Inheritances are not considered community property, so she is clearly taking her time deciding what to do with it. While that may feel like a slap in the face after 35 years of marriage, she is legally entitled to do that, and personally entitled to do so too.

You don’t say why you have $80,000 in credit-card debt and your wife only has $2,800. Assuming it’s notbecause of your children’s college expenses, this disparity may also reveal that you have different spending habits and abilities to manage your money. That’s a lot of money to have on your credit card, and if you racked up that money on miscellaneous expenses, I can understand why your wife did not believe it was her responsibility to pay off your personal debt.

Imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, ‘Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.’


Given the disparity in your incomes, I can understand why you feel the way you do. But that does not take into account being a stay-at-home mother, which is a full-time job in itself. That, plus her $20,000-a-year job, suggests to me that she more than contributed her fair share of time and labor to the marriage.

Plus, even though she was paid less than you, let’s assume that she worked as hard as anyone for those 13 years. Bottom line: You both worked.

Your question regarding alimony likely depends on where you live, your individual circumstances, the judge, and the size of the inheritance. Previous cases have shown that the income generated from an inheritance can be a factor in determining alimony, even though inheritance is generally considered separate property. You were the major breadwinner, and based on previous cases on inheritance, it’s unlikely to be a major factor in alimony.

Think of it this way: She has just contributed $300,000 to your life together when she could have kept all of that money, and divorced you. Just imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, “Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.”

If you feel upset now, you would be absolutely furious then.
________________________

What a greedy entitled bastard. And the columnist told his ass right. If you were the breadwinner making $130K why don’t you have savings, 401(k), etc and why you got $80K in credit cards? So what were you planning to do before you found out she was getting money?
Also it sounds like she hasn’t gotten the actual money yet and he don’t even know how she actually plans to use it. Yet you already want a divorce because she’s not in a rush you pay off YOUR debt?
The F*ck?
View attachment 2529809
I also think she MAY have to pay taxes on the inheritance. If so, she may have to pay between 18% and 40%, I didn't see him asking about contributing to the tax bill. Bottom line, the fact that he so easily brought up divorce indicates that she PERHAPS should go that route herself, and not allot the 300K to the mortgage.
 

Laila335

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How exactly is he planning to retire in 5 years if he has no savings and no 401K?

If he no longer has to pay the mortgage -- he should use the money that went toward the note (I'm guessing its around $1200-$1500) and pay down his debt. He could clear the balance in less than 5 years.

It sounds like this man could not afford to support a whole family on his income, and is now feeling trapped (and resentful) I would not agree to stay home if my spouse only made $130,000 a year and we had 2 kids.
 

Pancakes123

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TLDR: Husband thinks he is entitled to more of wife’s $800K inheritance AFTER she already paid $300K to their mortgage.

From The Moneyist:
Dear Quentin,

I’ve been married 35 years.

My wife is going to inherit $800,000 and told me she will use $300,000 to pay off our mortgage. The house is worth $450,000. But she will put the remaining $500,000 into her own personal checking account.

I’m 65 and still work. I earn $130,000 a year and plan to continue to work for another five years, as long as I am in good health.
My wife retired two years ago at age 59 after working for 13 years, earning $20,000 a year. She mostly stayed home and helped raise our two children, who are now adults with their own jobs.
My wife gets a small pension and I will also get a pension. We have no savings, no 401(k), nothing. I paid for my kids’ college education. We own one car outright. I have credit-card debt of nearly $80,000. My wife has credit-card debt of $2,800.
What do you think of the way she has treated her inheritance? If we divorce, will I have to pay her alimony?

-Been Working Since I Was 16

Response
Dear Working,

Don’t allow your frustration over this inheritance OR the fact that you have been working since 16 to force you into doing something rash. Your wife has used more than one-third of this money to pay off your joint mortgage. Inheritances are not considered community property, so she is clearly taking her time deciding what to do with it. While that may feel like a slap in the face after 35 years of marriage, she is legally entitled to do that, and personally entitled to do so too.

You don’t say why you have $80,000 in credit-card debt and your wife only has $2,800. Assuming it’s notbecause of your children’s college expenses, this disparity may also reveal that you have different spending habits and abilities to manage your money. That’s a lot of money to have on your credit card, and if you racked up that money on miscellaneous expenses, I can understand why your wife did not believe it was her responsibility to pay off your personal debt.

Imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, ‘Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.’


Given the disparity in your incomes, I can understand why you feel the way you do. But that does not take into account being a stay-at-home mother, which is a full-time job in itself. That, plus her $20,000-a-year job, suggests to me that she more than contributed her fair share of time and labor to the marriage.

Plus, even though she was paid less than you, let’s assume that she worked as hard as anyone for those 13 years. Bottom line: You both worked.

Your question regarding alimony likely depends on where you live, your individual circumstances, the judge, and the size of the inheritance. Previous cases have shown that the income generated from an inheritance can be a factor in determining alimony, even though inheritance is generally considered separate property. You were the major breadwinner, and based on previous cases on inheritance, it’s unlikely to be a major factor in alimony.

Think of it this way: She has just contributed $300,000 to your life together when she could have kept all of that money, and divorced you. Just imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, “Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.”

If you feel upset now, you would be absolutely furious then.
________________________

What a greedy entitled bastard. And the columnist told his ass right. If you were the breadwinner making $130K why don’t you have savings, 401(k), etc and why you got $80K in credit cards? So what were you planning to do before you found out she was getting money?
Also it sounds like she hasn’t gotten the actual money yet and he don’t even know how she actually plans to use it. Yet you already want a divorce because she’s not in a rush you pay off YOUR debt?
The F*ck?
View attachment 2529809
The husband needs to get over it. It’s his wife’s money, not his. She put $300,000 towards the mortgage, which is more than he ever spent on it and put the the rest away. It’s probably because he’s terrible with money and even if that’s not the reason, oh well. He brings up his wife having around $2,000 of credit card debt, but he has over $80,000. Why does he have that much and why hasn’t it been paid off. Since he talks about being the bread winner, he shouldn’t have had any debt and neither should his wife. :cautious:
 

Nikki_04

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He sounds jealous. She hasn't "worked" as much as him and she is retired before him and now she has more money than him that he has no right to.

At first it sounded like he wanted to continue working until 70, but it really seems like he is only working because he can't afford to retire. He has a very high amount of debt, no savings (i hate that people are solely depending on their pensions), and to a degree it sounds like he blames/resents his family for his financial issues.

I really hope the wife finds out that he is considering divorce over this.
 

Prayed Up

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Wow. Ya know, women are funny. This man said he’s 65 years old and has been the main bread winner in his lifetime during their entire marriage. Yeah she put in 300k to their mortgage (even though she could have paid it off completely) and yet he’s trash even though according to the finances and in debt he’s in, he’s been taking care of majority of their bills and finances. I feel for him, she could have at least helped him pay off his debt. It’s funny that you think men are supposed to just take care of you, but yet those vows swing both ways. Interesting.
 
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ilikebeer12345

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This is why you stay single. DAMN!! He knows his parents aint. Leaving hime a penny !
TLDR: Husband thinks he is entitled to more of wife’s $800K inheritance AFTER she already paid $300K to their mortgage.

From The Moneyist:
Dear Quentin,

I’ve been married 35 years.

My wife is going to inherit $800,000 and told me she will use $300,000 to pay off our mortgage. The house is worth $450,000. But she will put the remaining $500,000 into her own personal checking account.

I’m 65 and still work. I earn $130,000 a year and plan to continue to work for another five years, as long as I am in good health.
My wife retired two years ago at age 59 after working for 13 years, earning $20,000 a year. She mostly stayed home and helped raise our two children, who are now adults with their own jobs.
My wife gets a small pension and I will also get a pension. We have no savings, no 401(k), nothing. I paid for my kids’ college education. We own one car outright. I have credit-card debt of nearly $80,000. My wife has credit-card debt of $2,800.
What do you think of the way she has treated her inheritance? If we divorce, will I have to pay her alimony?

-Been Working Since I Was 16

Response
Dear Working,

Don’t allow your frustration over this inheritance OR the fact that you have been working since 16 to force you into doing something rash. Your wife has used more than one-third of this money to pay off your joint mortgage. Inheritances are not considered community property, so she is clearly taking her time deciding what to do with it. While that may feel like a slap in the face after 35 years of marriage, she is legally entitled to do that, and personally entitled to do so too.

You don’t say why you have $80,000 in credit-card debt and your wife only has $2,800. Assuming it’s notbecause of your children’s college expenses, this disparity may also reveal that you have different spending habits and abilities to manage your money. That’s a lot of money to have on your credit card, and if you racked up that money on miscellaneous expenses, I can understand why your wife did not believe it was her responsibility to pay off your personal debt.

Imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, ‘Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.’


Given the disparity in your incomes, I can understand why you feel the way you do. But that does not take into account being a stay-at-home mother, which is a full-time job in itself. That, plus her $20,000-a-year job, suggests to me that she more than contributed her fair share of time and labor to the marriage.

Plus, even though she was paid less than you, let’s assume that she worked as hard as anyone for those 13 years. Bottom line: You both worked.

Your question regarding alimony likely depends on where you live, your individual circumstances, the judge, and the size of the inheritance. Previous cases have shown that the income generated from an inheritance can be a factor in determining alimony, even though inheritance is generally considered separate property. You were the major breadwinner, and based on previous cases on inheritance, it’s unlikely to be a major factor in alimony.

Think of it this way: She has just contributed $300,000 to your life together when she could have kept all of that money, and divorced you. Just imagine if the tables were turned and you put $300,000 of your inheritance toward this house, and then your wife turned around and said, “Thanks for paying off a chunk of our mortgage, but I feel like this is a good time for a divorce.”

If you feel upset now, you would be absolutely furious then.
________________________

What a greedy entitled bastard. And the columnist told his ass right. If you were the breadwinner making $130K why don’t you have savings, 401(k), etc and why you got $80K in credit cards? So what were you planning to do before you found out she was getting money?
Also it sounds like she hasn’t gotten the actual money yet and he don’t even know how she actually plans to use it. Yet you already want a divorce because she’s not in a rush you pay off YOUR debt?
The F*ck?
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strwbryltr23

That bougie ghetto chick
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Ok why does this fool have 80k in cc debt? Are these his side ninja/chick expenses from his meet ups at the Honey Roll Hotel on Lo Cash Blvd?
If he don't sit his ass all the way down!
 

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