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21 year old daughter sleeping with stepfather

AngelicaPickles

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This some lifetime sh!t.


I've been married for 10 years. Together my husband and I have 2 children, a son age 13 and a daughter who is 10. I have a 21-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, however my husband has been in her life since she was 4 years old. For the past few years, my intuition has been telling me something has going on between the two of them in an inappropriate manner. I discovered the truth a few months ago that they are involved and are having xesual relations. They claim that they only have oral xes but I have strong feelings that they have crossed the line even further. I confronted my husband who lied at first but eventually told the truth about them being involved. My daughter instantly caught an attitude and barely told the truth. I initially put them both out of our house but ended up letting them come back simply because I couldn't deal with the emotional sadness and disappointment of my other two children. They were just so sad that their dad was out the house. My daughter had no where else to go so I welcomed her back but she still walks around like I owe her. My husband seems to be very regretful but I don't trust either one of them at this point because they have betrayed me more than I can say. My question is, what should I do in this situation because I love them both so much but this is very painful and hurtful and I don't know what to do next.



Ask Dr. Sherry: 'My Husband And My Daughter From A Previous Relationship Are Involved Romantically!'
 

Ohnoes

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So fµcked up. I've read stories like this before where the mother thinks her daughter is competing with her for "her man" and blames the daughter entirely while continuing to chase the husband.
 

MysteriousMW

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Was he grooming her since he's known her since she was 4? That's gross, i'd get a divorce.
 

yamapi

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The husband was grooming her daughter.
Men are seriously sick .

She shouldn't have allowed the husband to come back to the house , I can't believe this nonsense.
Hopefully, she and her daughter will go to a therapist.
 

sage

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OP the first sentence should say this is not about you!

This story made my stomach turn. I wouldn't blame the daughter though, I'd get mandatory counseling. That man would be in jail.
 

sugahgal1

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If I was a mother, I wouldn't trust to bring ANY men around my children for this very reason. That is fµck!ng sick. Men can't be trusted. No dack is that good or more important than protecting your children from predators!
 

Alleras

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She needs to hug that 21 year old very tightly. Only God knows what she's been done to.
And she needs to divorce him and get full custody cos it'll be her daughter next.
 

Nadia Makita

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Why both?
The daughter is a victim.

The daughters reaction and attitude toward this is why I think it would be best she left. She seems to have a level of hatred toward her mom that isn't conducive for the younger kids to witness. There's no longer a "mother child" relationship there. No point in maintaining and housing a person like that.
 

Salone_Chic

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He needs to go and the older daughter is old enough to live on her own.

The younger kids might seem sad for a bit but at least they're safe. Visitation with their father should be supervised.
 

KimberlyWest

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Pretty sure he's been fµck!ng her long before she turned 21 if he's known her since she was 4.

He's a child molestor without a doubt.
 

Queen Vannah

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The daughter walking around like the mom owes her something. If she's been abused, that sh!t would've come out when it hit the fan. It's nor far fetched that they just started messing around. There was a 19-20 year old girl who started sleeping with her brother in law who helped raise her with her sister (his wife). They started having an affair and there was no abuse at all going on.

That said, the dad is sick af. You've known her since she was 4. This is practically your daughter.

He would have to die. If mom and daughter want to ever have any time of relationship, daughter has to live outside the home and they have got to get some counseling. If he abused or groomed her, the daughter should def speak up bc she can't live like that. I say kill him though. No man is ever worth the relationship weigh your child. fµck that.
 

AlexaBrin

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Sometimes we need to love people from afar.

1) I would still have "love" for my daughter, but I'm definitely disowning. That's disgusting and she has an attitude?

2) No love for the husband. I don't trust his ass since he was around when she was young. Divorce and your young one may feel some type of way now, but once again...your husband was there since your daughter was 4 and they suddenly end up fµck!ng? Bye. You can allow your young ones to have a relationship with him, then release the details of why "Daddy isn't home" when they get older.

Basically, divorce the husband, disown daughter, and get therapy to deal with the situation, and move on with life.

That's fµck!ng disgusting and the disrespect would be too much for me to take.
 

kween Bee

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Like I said in another thread, this is not pδrn. Stepdaughters don't go for their old ass stepfathers unless he's groomed her. This is so gross
 

KimberlyWest

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The daughter walking around like the mom owes her something. If she's been abused, that sh!t would've come out when it hit the fan. It's nor far fetched that they just started messing around. There was a 19-20 year old girl who started sleeping with her brother in law who helped raise her with her sister (his wife). They started having an affair and there was no abuse at all going on.

That said, the dad is sick af. You've known her since she was 4. This is practically your daughter.

He would have to die. If mom and daughter want to ever have any time of relationship, daughter has to live outside the home and they have got to get some counseling. If he abused or groomed her, the daughter should def speak up bc she can't live like that. I say kill him though. No man is ever worth the relationship weigh your child. fµck that.

Sleeping with someone who you acted as a parental figure for is abuse in and of itself no matter when it starts.
 

AngelicaPickles

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I see a lot of women jealous of their daughter's. Some beat their daughters when they find out their man is sleeping with their daughter. They think she stole him from her. WTF! It's sick.
 

TheBigBayang

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The daughter caught an attitude because of what that mf did to her! Imagine how mixed up her mind/emotions are after the man who raised her from age 4 coerced her into xes. I think it's common knowledge that a lot of kids don't tell when they get molested. She's mad at her mom for not protecting her. Also, the mom probably came at her with attitude first.
 

KarmasMisery

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She has no self respect for herself.She let both of them back in the house... she gets whatever she has coming to her. No wonder her daughter doesn't respect her dumb ass. Praying for the two innocent children and hope they can recover.
 

MSMJFANFOREVER

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^ a man who doesn't have his own place is a turn off to begin with.

The fact they'd be quick to move in would be a red flag. He's a bum!
 

KarmasMisery

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The biggest red flag should've been a childless man trying to entertain a mother with young child in the first place. She probably thought it was cute that this grown man was playing "daddy" to her 4 year old. There's nothing normal or cute about a man constantly trying to be around a child that's not his. That's called grooming.

Watch someone come in here and try to argue.
 

BluePoisonIvy

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That mother is messed up. What kind of mental blockage is she going through to allow both the husband and daughter to live together AGAIN under her roof knowing he's been screwing her daughter? Does she need to catch them in the act before the lightbulb goes off in her head?

I see why the daughter has an attitude. She probably feels like her mother didn't save her from her predator husband and now, she's putting her right back in harms way by allowing him to come back home.
 

Goyardgirl

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I had a class mate like this. She had 2 children by her step-father. Her mother ended up dying of Cancer. To this day I always said her mother died of a broken heart.
 

Balloo

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She needs to kick the man out. He didn't start looking at her xesually when she turned 18. Her never saw her platonically if he is able to do this.

The daughter has most likely been growing up in a household where the father figure has been sexualizing her from a young age. Even if he only looked, it's enough for a child to pick up on a weird vibe and it most likely messed her up.
 
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Dani_Blanco

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That's gross. I blame the man though he knew her since she was a little girl
Exactly if he has been in her life since 4, she should be a daughter to him by all means. He's a sick sob and, I bet this has been going on for years. She needs to divorce him andgwt that girl in therapy.
 

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