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A Letter From Satan

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Found this on another site and wanted to share.

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began you daily chores.
You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of
fact, you didn't even bless your food, or pray before
going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I LIKE THAT
ABOUT YOU!! I cannot tell you how glad I am that
you have not changed your way of living. FOOL, you are
mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for
years, and I STILL DON'T love you yet, and never will,
but you're too blind to believe that. As a matter of
fact, I HATE YOU!!!, because I hate JESUS!! I'm ONLY USING
YOU to get even with JESUS for defeating me on the cross.
Jesus kicked me out of heaven and I'm going to use you as long
as possible to pay Him back. You see, FOOL, JESUS LOVES YOU
and HE has great plans and blessings in store for you, but, like a
silly fool, you have yielded your life to me and I promise to make
your life a living hell. That way we'll be together twice. This will
really HURT JESUS. Thanks to your weak self I'm really showing
JESUS who's boss in your life, you know, with all the good times we
have and are having together. We have been watching porno's together
cursing people out, telling dirty jokes, stealing, lying, being hypocritical,
fornicating, overeating, gossiping, being judgmental, backstabbing people,
disrespecting adults and the ministers in leadership. We have no respect
for the church and we have very nasty attitudes, oh and don't forget we've been gangbangin, smoking weed and hanging with the homies and not going to church cause we got too many other things to do. We even cheated on your spouse together and dabbled in homosexuality, remember? SURELY, you don't want
to give up all that stuff, right? GOOD, so we can all burn in HELL together.
I'm going to love your company while we are in torment together forever.
I got some HOT plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you.
"THANKS" for letting me use you most of your foolish life.. You are so gullible, I
laugh at you, all the time. When you are tempted to sin, you give in HA HA HA,
you make me sick. Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years
older, and now I need fresh meat and new blood. So go ahead and teach some
children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, have xes outside of marriage and be as selfish as possible and maybe even a little gang banging or weed smokin. Oh yea, I almost forgot. I really want to thank you for promotin my gangsta rap music. You really help me promote xes, drugs, violence, and anger for no reason. It has caused the death rate of young people to quadruple, so hell is getting filled up a lot faster thanks to you. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. They do what you do too. Kids are like that.. Well, FOOL, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess you sins, repent and be baptized in JESUS Name for the remission of sins and get the HOLY GHOST and then hide the WORD of God in your heart, put on the whole armor of GOD so that you can be able to withstand all of the wilds (tricks) that I'm gonna get you with FOOL. If I were you, I would LIVE for JESUS with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, has become a little bit ridiculous, don't you think? People are coming down here in groves, cause there are more people now acting like fake Christians now than there has ever been in history. I have more fool like you who continue to sit in churches and live like me. I like it when you sit in that dead church and fee comfortable living like a fool, hey keep it up and I'll be assured of being with you throughout eternity. Guess what, I'm tricking more fools, like you now than I ever have before, FOOL!!

Don't get me wrong, I still hate your guts. IT'S JUST THAT YOU WOULD MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST!!

P.S. - If you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.
 
G

Guest

Guest
This is my first time back here, and this is the first thing that I read... WOW.
 

Konvict Kimi

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And this part:

I really want to thank you for promotin my gangsta rap music. You really help me promote xes, drugs, violence, and anger for no reason.

was really dumb.

But, cute concept overall :)
 

Bobby Bieber

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I read that letter in a faux-devil, evil voice to help with the effect. Ya'll should try it. lol
 

Daniel-San

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I read that letter in a faux-devil, evil voice to help with the effect. Ya'll should try it. lol

Try it in these voices:

- Mike Tyson
- Amy Winehouse
- Russell Simmons
- Dick Cheney
- Snoop from The Wire

ETA: I just thought of Andy Rooney.You should definitely try that.
 

AztecRed

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Why did god need someone to write the bible for him, yet Satan is able to write for himself?

Is god inferior to Satan? Is god a illiterate?
 

Thot Slayer

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Found this on another site and wanted to share.

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began you daily chores.
You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of
fact, you didn't even bless your food, or pray before
going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I LIKE THAT
ABOUT YOU!! I cannot tell you how glad I am that
you have not changed your way of living. FOOL, you are
mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for
years, and I STILL DON'T love you yet, and never will,
but you're too blind to believe that.
As a matter of
fact, I HATE YOU!!!, because I hate JESUS!! I'm ONLY USING
YOU to get even with JESUS for defeating me on the cross.
Jesus kicked me out of heaven and I'm going to use you as long
as possible to pay Him back. You see, FOOL, JESUS LOVES YOU
and HE has great plans and blessings in store for you, but, like a
silly fool, you have yielded your life to me and I promise to make
your life a living hell. That way we'll be together twice. This will
really HURT JESUS. Thanks to your weak self I'm really showing
JESUS who's boss in your life, you know, with all the good times we
have and are having together. We have been watching porno's together cursing people out, telling dirty jokes, stealing, lying, being hypocritical,fornicating, overeating, gossiping, being judgmental, backstabbing people,
disrespecting adults and the ministers in leadership.
We have no respect
for the church and we have very nasty attitudes, oh and don't forgetwe've been gangbangin, smoking weed and hanging with the homies and not going to church cause we got too many other things to do. We even cheated on your spouse together and dabbled in homosexuality, remember? SURELY, you don't want
to give up all that stuff, right? GOOD, so we can all burn in HELL together.
I'm going to love your company while we are in torment together forever.
I got some HOT plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you.
"THANKS" for letting me use you most of your foolish life.. You are so gullible, I
laugh at you, all the time. When you are tempted to sin, you give in HA HA HA,
you make me sick. Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years
older, and now I need fresh meat and new blood. So go ahead and teach some
children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, have xes outside of marriage and be as selfish as possible and maybe even a little gang banging or weed smokin. Oh yea, I almost forgot. I really want to thank you for promotin my gangsta rap music. You really help me promote xes, drugs, violence, and anger for no reason. It has caused the death rate of young people to quadruple, so hell is getting filled up a lot faster thanks to you. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. They do what you do too. Kids are like that.. Well, FOOL, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess you sins, repent and be baptized in JESUS Name for the remission of sins and get the HOLY GHOST and then hide the WORD of God in your heart, put on the whole armor of GOD so that you can be able to withstand all of the wilds (tricks) that I'm gonna get you with FOOL. If I were you, I would LIVE for JESUS with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, has become a little bit ridiculous, don't you think? People are coming down here in groves, cause there are more people now acting like fake Christians now than there has ever been in history. I have more fool like you who continue to sit in churches and live like me. I like it when you sit in that dead church and fee comfortable living like a fool, hey keep it up and I'll be assured of being with you throughout eternity. Guess what, I'm tricking more fools, like you now than I ever have before, FOOL!!

Don't get me wrong, I still hate your guts. IT'S JUST THAT YOU WOULD MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST!!

P.S. - If you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone
.


............. :wideeyed: :bsflag:
 

PrimaDonna

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If smoking weed is the devil's work then call me one of his minions!
But on a serious note, some overly prudish person wrote this. You know how many church folk I know that burn ganja like crazy? GTFOWBS!
 

BlackWidow215

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Wow.. first jesus has a website, and Satan has MSWord? I wonder who their internet provider is?

Blimey, next they'll be posting their MySpace page addresses..

'We have been watching porno's together
cursing people out, telling dirty jokes, stealing, lying, being hypocritical,
fornicating, overeating, gossiping, being judgmental, backstabbing people,
disrespecting adults and the ministers in leadership.'


This really made me chuckle, because ministers are all guilty of this same sh!t.

Oh, and try reading it in Richard Simmon's voice. Pure hilarity.
 

AztecRed

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Wow.. first jesus has a website, and Satan has MSWord? I wonder who their internet provider is?

Blimey, next they'll be posting their MySpace page addresses..

'We have been watching porno's together
cursing people out, telling dirty jokes, stealing, lying, being hypocritical,
fornicating, overeating, gossiping, being judgmental, backstabbing people,
disrespecting adults and the ministers in leadership.'


This really made me chuckle, because ministers are all guilty of this same sh!t.

Oh, and try reading it in Richard Simmon's voice. Pure hilarity.

I read it in Dave Chapelle's voice.
 

Mz. Haze

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:dead: @ Chappelle's voice. Chappelle could read the book of Revelations and turn it into hilarity.
 

Mama Duke

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I cannot tell you how glad I am that
you have not changed your way of living.

This is what it boils down to. I remember someone once said to me that there are many people in the church who will claim God is #1, but their lifestyles and day-to-day activities prove otherwise.

Interesting letter. It's something to think about....
 

Moonwalker

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Why did god need someone to write the bible for him, yet Satan is able to write for himself?

Is god inferior to Satan? Is god a illiterate?






Aztec, I'm dying here from laughter!!! Two sentences of logic overdrive that long diarrhea of an obviously schizophrenic idiot, who made himself/herself believe that Satan speaks through her/him.

Now, WHO'S gonna answer Aztec's questions? :lol:

I'll add a few more. Did Satan write this on paper, or send an email? If so, I'd like his email address, cos we need to talk.
Did Satan send this all around the world, in as many different languages as there are, or only in English? If he wrote it in as many languages as there are, then he clearly up-maned god again, since god speaks only one language.

Fundies say the darnest things.

:lol:
 

Probowl

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That e-mail went out like 10 years ago. The whole point is to get you so caught up in being self concious and condemmed that you fail to see that even if you don't do all the actions of a holy person that you still have the Blood of Jesus to restore you.

In the bible there was a story when even Jesus did not wash His hands as was customary to eat His food. The devil is the accuser and that's what he does....he aint changed.
 

sammy faye C

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Found this on another site and wanted to share.

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began you daily chores.
You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of
fact, you didn't even bless your food, or pray before
going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I LIKE THAT
ABOUT YOU!! I cannot tell you how glad I am that
you have not changed your way of living. FOOL, you are
mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for
years, and I STILL DON'T love you yet, and never will,
but you're too blind to believe that. As a matter of
fact, I HATE YOU!!!, because I hate JESUS!! I'm ONLY USING
YOU to get even with JESUS for defeating me on the cross.
Jesus kicked me out of heaven and I'm going to use you as long
as possible to pay Him back. You see, FOOL, JESUS LOVES YOU
and HE has great plans and blessings in store for you, but, like a
silly fool, you have yielded your life to me and I promise to make
your life a living hell. That way we'll be together twice. This will
really HURT JESUS. Thanks to your weak self I'm really showing
JESUS who's boss in your life, you know, with all the good times we
have and are having together. We have been watching porno's together
cursing people out, telling dirty jokes, stealing, lying, being hypocritical,
fornicating, overeating, gossiping, being judgmental, backstabbing people,
disrespecting adults and the ministers in leadership. We have no respect
for the church and we have very nasty attitudes, oh and don't forget we've been gangbangin, smoking weed and hanging with the homies and not going to church cause we got too many other things to do. We even cheated on your spouse together and dabbled in homosexuality, remember? SURELY, you don't want
to give up all that stuff, right? GOOD, so we can all burn in HELL together.
I'm going to love your company while we are in torment together forever.
I got some HOT plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you.
"THANKS" for letting me use you most of your foolish life.. You are so gullible, I
laugh at you, all the time. When you are tempted to sin, you give in HA HA HA,
you make me sick. Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years
older, and now I need fresh meat and new blood. So go ahead and teach some
children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, have xes outside of marriage and be as selfish as possible and maybe even a little gang banging or weed smokin. Oh yea, I almost forgot. I really want to thank you for promotin my gangsta rap music. You really help me promote xes, drugs, violence, and anger for no reason. It has caused the death rate of young people to quadruple, so hell is getting filled up a lot faster thanks to you. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. They do what you do too. Kids are like that.. Well, FOOL, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess you sins, repent and be baptized in JESUS Name for the remission of sins and get the HOLY GHOST and then hide the WORD of God in your heart, put on the whole armor of GOD so that you can be able to withstand all of the wilds (tricks) that I'm gonna get you with FOOL. If I were you, I would LIVE for JESUS with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, has become a little bit ridiculous, don't you think? People are coming down here in groves, cause there are more people now acting like fake Christians now than there has ever been in history. I have more fool like you who continue to sit in churches and live like me. I like it when you sit in that dead church and fee comfortable living like a fool, hey keep it up and I'll be assured of being with you throughout eternity. Guess what, I'm tricking more fools, like you now than I ever have before, FOOL!!

Don't get me wrong, I still hate your guts. IT'S JUST THAT YOU WOULD MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST!!

P.S. - If you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.

Are these sins Biblical? It is obvious Satan hates rap music. Does he prefer grunge or heavy metal? PS Satan sounds a little racist.
 

PassionFruit

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I truly despise these types of emails ( I put them on the same level as Spam & chain letters)

not only are they a nuisance tomy emailbox, they are usually laden with viruses and spyware...

The worst offenders being "send this to those you love" or "If you believe in God, send this to 32 people in 24 mins" or "dont miss your blessing by not passing this along"

Not only does it make the work of evangelism harder, it makes a mockery out of the Faith...

Im a Christian but I also know that God existed before the internet and that my God wouldnt stop being good to me because I didnt respond or forward an email...

Funny, the majority of these I see come from folks who I hardly see inside of church...

Ive gotten to the point that Ive blocked certain folks from my email list and if the message as "fwd" in the title, it goes to the trashbin without my ever opening it
 

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