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Am I Racist if I say I don't want a West African Man?

Nayyaahhee

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OK so today me and a group were having a discussion for school and we were talking about our preferences and what we were and weren't attracted to and I had said I was attracted to East African men with the same phenotype as me (im Somali btw) and I want my children to look like me, some Nigerian guy asked me if I was attracted to West African Men and I paused for a second unsure whether or not I should say the truth and I could feel a strange tension especially with the men, and I replied that I am not attracted to West African men and I am not attracted like they're features and when I tell you EVERYONE CAME AT ME!

Telling me I was colorist and racist and featurist for just saying that I was attracted to them. There was a AA guy who had mentioned he was attracted to light skin women but nobody came at him like this, I felt put in a very awkward position as I had to explain that it wasn't just features but also culture that made more attracted to my own. I also explained (especially to the women who were going hard) that there were black men who constantly dissed black women, especially dark skinned and mentioned how they would constantly chase after light and white women and I asked how I could ever be attracted to a man who doesn't love himself?

When I tell you the guys in the group got so pissed and started making fun of Somali men and they're "big foreheads" and making "captain jokes" and claimed that I didn't want to be "black" and was "arabized" by that time I had enough and told them that even though Somali Men have MANY flaws at least they like themselves, they're culture, and don't chase after white women and stormed out (it was extremely uncalled for and immature I know). OK LSA I know I reacted a little too much but honestly being a light skin who kinda looks Arab, I see the way these dudes fetishize the sh!t out of anything non black and put it on a pedestal FIRST HAND and I don't respect that one bit, honestly the people I have respect for are they're women but I wish the girls I was in the group with could see it for what it really was and not argue as hard with me.

This is kinda rushed but IDK LSA am I tripping/overreacting?

EDIT: Ok just changed the title, wrote it rather quickly and I understand that can cause misunderstanding. Yes of course I consider myself a black African and contrary to belief most Somali's do except the Arab worshiping ***** who believe religion makes ethnicity

 
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Legs

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Y’all don’t get tired?

ETA: OP changed her title. The original one was “Am I racist if I say I don’t want a black man?”
 
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Gladhe8HER

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Nah, you responded perfectly. Those West African men were insecure about their looks, that's not your problem.

Just because they have a preference for features outside of their own doesn't mean you have to. Some of these men are shocked when you dont share the same sentiments.

But on the real, the Somali women I'm surrounded by dont even want their men.

Moreover, I think majority in the African diaspora who live in the West have been influenced to gravitate towards certain looks, I honestly dont feel it's a natural occurrence.
 

Nayyaahhee

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Nah, you responded perfectly. Those West African men were insecure about their looks, that's not your problem.

Just because they have a preference for features outside of their own doesn't mean you have to. Some of these men are shocked when you dont share the same sentiments.

But on the real, the Somali women I'm surrounded by dont even want their men.

Moreover, I think majority in the African diaspora who live in the West have been influenced to gravitate towards certain looks, I honestly dont feel it's a natural occurrence.

That's really true and its because a lot of them have probably had bad experiences with them, it happens and everyone has they're own preferences at the end of the day
 

fashionfreak

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I think it's interesting they didn't say anything about the guy preferring light skinned women but came at you for not liking west african men.

There is NOTHING wrong with wanting your children to look like you. NOTHING. I wish more black people were like you.
 

SuckinToes

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No you're not racist for wanting your children to look like you. You're not obligated to date any race of man you don't want. F*ck them and do you baby girl.
 

honeysugar

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Fix your grammar and punctuation next time. No shade or anything but it was just a giant wall of text and it kinda made it difficult to follow. But no, you're not a racist. Date whoever you want.
 

ohhappyday

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Ok so today me and a group were having a discussion for school and we were talking about our prefrences and what we were and weren't attracted to and I had said I was attracted to East African men with the same phenotype as me (im somali btw) and I want my children to look like me, some Nigerian guy asked me if I was attracted to West African Men and I paused for a second unsure whether or not I should say the truth and I could feel a strange tension especially with the men, and I replied that I am not attracted to West African men and im not attracted like they're features and when I tell you EVERYONE CAME AT ME, telling me I was colorist and racist and featurist for just saying that I was attracted to them. There was a AA guy who had mentioned he was attracted to light skin women but nobody came at him like this, I felt put in a very akward position as I had to explain that it wasnt just features but also culture that made more attracted to my own. I also explained (especially to the women who were going hard) that there were black men who constantly dissed black women, especially dark skinned and mentioned how they would constantly chase after light and white women and I asked how I could ever be attracted to a man who doesnt love himself? When I tell you the guys in the group got so pissed and started making fun of somali men and theyre "big forheads" and making "captain jokes" and claimed that I didnt want to be "black" and was "arabized" by that time I had enough and told them that even though Somali Men have MANY flaws at least they like themselves, theyre culture, and dont chase after white women and stormed out (it was extemly uncalled for and immature I know). Ok LSA I know I reacted a little too much but honestly being a light skin who kinda looks arab, I see the way these dudes fetishize the sh!t out of anything non black and put it on a pedastal FIRST HAND and I dont respect that one bit, honestly the people I have respect for are theyre women but I wish the girls I was in the group with could see it for what it really was and not argue as hard with me. This is kinda rushed but IDK LSA am I tripping/overreacting?
 
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Nah, you're entitled to your preferences, especially since you prefer guys that look like you. I prefer guys that look like me, light brown skin and curly/wavy hair. Don't let them discourage you.
 

Nayyaahhee

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Fix your grammar and punctuation next time. No shade or anything but it was just a giant wall of text and it kinda made it difficult to follow. But no, you're not a racist. Date whoever you want.

Sorry wrote this in a rush LOL I'll fix it now
 

SolasLaNehn

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Lmaooo they're pissed cuz they wanted to smash~ You slammed the door in their faces real quick lol!

But yeah, men never apologize for their preferences, so why should you? You're entitled to prefer your own.
 

Loralai101

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Y’all don’t get tired?

you didn't have to walk into this thread


what op said is a very common thought.

it's strange that the women were against you too even tho a black man said he preferred light skin women

it's like everyone is obligated to like ds bm but feel no qualms about not liking ds women
 

Gull

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OK so today me and a group were having a discussion for school and we were talking about our preferences and what we were and weren't attracted to and I had said I was attracted to East African men with the same phenotype as me (im Somali btw) and I want my children to look like me, some Nigerian guy asked me if I was attracted to West African Men and I paused for a second unsure whether or not I should say the truth and I could feel a strange tension especially with the men, and I replied that I am not attracted to West African men and I am not attracted like they're features and when I tell you EVERYONE CAME AT ME!

Telling me I was colorist and racist and featurist for just saying that I was attracted to them. There was a AA guy who had mentioned he was attracted to light skin women but nobody came at him like this, I felt put in a very awkward position as I had to explain that it wasn't just features but also culture that made more attracted to my own. I also explained (especially to the women who were going hard) that there were black men who constantly dissed black women, especially dark skinned and mentioned how they would constantly chase after light and white women and I asked how I could ever be attracted to a man who doesn't love himself?

When I tell you the guys in the group got so pissed and started making fun of Somali men and they're "big foreheads" and making "captain jokes" and claimed that I didn't want to be "black" and was "arabized" by that time I had enough and told them that even though Somali Men have MANY flaws at least they like themselves, they're culture, and don't chase after white women and stormed out (it was extremely uncalled for and immature I know). OK LSA I know I reacted a little too much but honestly being a light skin who kinda looks Arab, I see the way these dudes fetishize the sh!t out of anything non black and put it on a pedestal FIRST HAND and I don't respect that one bit, honestly the people I have respect for are they're women but I wish the girls I was in the group with could see it for what it really was and not argue as hard with me.

This is kinda rushed but IDK LSA am I tripping/overreacting?
if you are also black, you might be mentally ill...
if you are not black, its not an issue.

Edit: so the OP changed her title...lol
 
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DevilsPie

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No, I don't believe you are racist for wanting someone who looks like you nor do I believe in colorism when it comes to dating.

Oh I forgot I went shoplifting(this character) today.:whistle:
9c7a224f5524290ed4a657bbf7c1a846.jpg
 
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Nayyaahhee

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if you are also black, you might be mentally ill...

Can you elaborate? What about me liking my own men makes me mentally ill? Black people are not a monolith and we DO have our own cultures at the end of the day.
 

RoseCake

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I think it's interesting they didn't say anything about the guy preferring light skinned women but came at you for not liking west african men.

There is NOTHING wrong with wanting your children to look like you. NOTHING. I wish more black people were like you.

Of course they didn't say anything because they only really care about someone's preference if it doesn't include them. They're mad that they're not OP preference. They're not competing with women, so they don't care about what another man prefers his woman to look like.
 

Gull

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Can you elaborate? What about me liking my own men makes me mentally ill? Black people are not a monolith and we DO have our own cultures at the end of the day.
nothing..i mean if you are black and dont like black you may have mental issues?
arent somalis considered black?
or did you mean to say you didnt like black americans?
 

ebonyrose

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So you don't want a man of western African descent?
Are you black or mixed race?
if you are also black, you might be mentally ill...
if you are not black, its not an issue.
How is she mentally ill for wanting her children to look like her and her people?
 

TASTYEE

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@Nayyaahhee No. It does not make you racist for prefer men in your ethnic group. However, what's interesting to me is that you refer to West African as black men even though you are East African instead of saying West African men. So, do you not consider yourself black or do majority of East Africans, particularly Somalis in the west don't consider them black people?

That's the real tea I want to know.

EDIT: of course...you changed your title.
 
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Gull

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So you don't want a man of western African descent?
Are you black or mixed race?

How is she mentally ill for wanting her children to look like her and her people?
did you read what i typed?..lol

my comment said if she didnt like her own race she would have issues,...duh
 

gracie13

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OK so today me and a group were having a discussion for school and we were talking about our preferences and what we were and weren't attracted to and I had said I was attracted to East African men with the same phenotype as me (im Somali btw) and I want my children to look like me, some Nigerian guy asked me if I was attracted to West African Men and I paused for a second unsure whether or not I should say the truth and I could feel a strange tension especially with the men, and I replied that I am not attracted to West African men and I am not attracted like they're features and when I tell you EVERYONE CAME AT ME!

Telling me I was colorist and racist and featurist for just saying that I was attracted to them. There was a AA guy who had mentioned he was attracted to light skin women but nobody came at him like this, I felt put in a very awkward position as I had to explain that it wasn't just features but also culture that made more attracted to my own. I also explained (especially to the women who were going hard) that there were black men who constantly dissed black women, especially dark skinned and mentioned how they would constantly chase after light and white women and I asked how I could ever be attracted to a man who doesn't love himself?

When I tell you the guys in the group got so pissed and started making fun of Somali men and they're "big foreheads" and making "captain jokes" and claimed that I didn't want to be "black" and was "arabized" by that time I had enough and told them that even though Somali Men have MANY flaws at least they like themselves, they're culture, and don't chase after white women and stormed out (it was extremely uncalled for and immature I know). OK LSA I know I reacted a little too much but honestly being a light skin who kinda looks Arab, I see the way these dudes fetishize the sh!t out of anything non black and put it on a pedestal FIRST HAND and I don't respect that one bit, honestly the people I have respect for are they're women but I wish the girls I was in the group with could see it for what it really was and not argue as hard with me.

This is kinda rushed but IDK LSA am I tripping/overreacting?


Stop explaining who you are attracted to. Just date who you want.

I'm not attracted to your people either.

But I don't Tell people this. I just date the men I'm attracted to .


Also, do you consider Somalians Black?
 

Nayyaahhee

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KK just changed the title, wrote it rather quickly and I understand that can cause misunderstanding. Yes of course I consider myself a black African and contrary to belief most Somali's do except the Arab worshiping ***** who believe religion makes ethnicity
 

O.o

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OK so today me and a group were having a discussion for school and we were talking about our preferences and what we were and weren't attracted to and I had said I was attracted to East African men with the same phenotype as me (im Somali btw) and I want my children to look like me, some Nigerian guy asked me if I was attracted to West African Men and I paused for a second unsure whether or not I should say the truth and I could feel a strange tension especially with the men, and I replied that I am not attracted to West African men and I am not attracted like they're features and when I tell you EVERYONE CAME AT ME!

Telling me I was colorist and racist and featurist for just saying that I was attracted to them. There was a AA guy who had mentioned he was attracted to light skin women but nobody came at him like this, I felt put in a very awkward position as I had to explain that it wasn't just features but also culture that made more attracted to my own. I also explained (especially to the women who were going hard) that there were black men who constantly dissed black women, especially dark skinned and mentioned how they would constantly chase after light and white women and I asked how I could ever be attracted to a man who doesn't love himself?

When I tell you the guys in the group got so pissed and started making fun of Somali men and they're "big foreheads" and making "captain jokes" and claimed that I didn't want to be "black" and was "arabized" by that time I had enough and told them that even though Somali Men have MANY flaws at least they like themselves, they're culture, and don't chase after white women and stormed out (it was extremely uncalled for and immature I know). OK LSA I know I reacted a little too much but honestly being a light skin who kinda looks Arab, I see the way these dudes fetishize the sh!t out of anything non black and put it on a pedestal FIRST HAND and I don't respect that one bit, honestly the people I have respect for are they're women but I wish the girls I was in the group with could see it for what it really was and not argue as hard with me.

This is kinda rushed but IDK LSA am I tripping/overreacting?
Unless you’re denying people education, freedom, jobs, housing, freedom, voting rights, human rights, etc., you cannot be racist.

It’s pretty normal for people from isolated and insular cultural groups to prefer their own kind.
 

Gull

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KK just changed the title, wrote it rather quickly and I understand that can cause misunderstanding. Yes of course I consider myself a black African and contrary to belief most Somali's do except the Arab worshiping ***** who believe religion makes ethnicity
see.....and yall were groaning me...
 

Nayyaahhee

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So you don't want a man of western African descent?
Are you black or mixed race?

How is she mentally ill for wanting her children to look like her and her people?

99% Somali and 1% other had a DNA test done, I have siblings who vary in color and have a few dark skin siblings and two brown skinned parents so I don't even know what went wrong with me.
 

Gull

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KK just changed the title, wrote it rather quickly and I understand that can cause misunderstanding. Yes of course I consider myself a black African and contrary to belief most Somali's do except the Arab worshiping ***** who believe religion makes ethnicity
i said your title caused the confusion in leading some of us to believe you didnt like your own race...
are you still confused?
 

O.o

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East Africans are black though...
But Horners have very insular cultures compared to Kenyans, Ugandans, etc.

I have nothing in common with Somali people in any way and see no common ground as with other African peoples.

Their cultures and customs are unique due to isolation and we should acknowledge that.

Of course, the Kenyans and Ugandans and Somalis that I know are tight as fck, but as a Black American, I see nothing in common with Somali people vs the others.
 

O.o

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99% Somali and 1% other had a DNA test done, I have siblings who vary in color and have a few dark skin siblings and two brown skinned parents so I don't even know what went wrong with me.
Girlllll the milkman LOL just kidding
 

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