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Any experience with Moroccan men?

Stantonlikzaddy

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I know! I downloaded like 6 apps last night in a sad attempt to learn Arabic ....I gave up after 15 minutes. Their alphabet is something else

Right!!!! One of those languages where like you need to grow up around Arabic people so you can hear how words are supposed to sound. Is yours from the desert or the city?
 

TinasheSweet

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Yes. Men are men, but i'll bite with this post.

Dated one for a while (Arab and berber descent). He was a gentleman and used to hook me up with real-deal argan oil while we dated. Girl my hair was luxurious! Didn't even know what dullness was!

He probably had the best physique out of the men i've dated (Top 3 at least...), was very attentive, kind, very generous etc. The only thing I never liked about him was how possessive he could be (not in an abusive way, just smothering and annoying), and how naive he was. He was like a lovesick puppy when it came to the possessiveness. He didn't want me to go to the grocery store without him, because he didn't want me lifting bags, and if decided to do some major gardening, he'd feel some type of way if I was hoisting soil bags by myself. It was weird too because he encouraged me to lift weights but never wanted me to make use of my gains lol. In that sense he was probably worse than the crazy Dominican guy I was seeing before him. But he was well meaning so I didn't mind.

We broke up because our long term plans weren't compatible, but it was on good terms. Though we don't talk anymore, he was a positive chapter in my life and I think of him fondly.

Also had a brief stint with an Algerian-Moroccan dude, but that was not a pleasant experience.

In general, I find North African men to be very generous and attentive, but that often comes with the issue of them being very controlling. I'm not trying to dissuade you from dating a Moroccan or other North African guy (lots of them are great), but the one I got was probably not representative of how most of them accessible to us are. Many North Africans hold a lot of anti-black sentiments unfortunately, and even if the guy you are seeing isn't racist, there's a chance his relatives might be as well (I was lucky that that wasn't the case for me at all), which could be a problem as most of the North Africans I've come across tend to have strong familial ties. Also, religion might play a factor. Most Moroccans are muslim, and would want to have children raised in the religion at the very least, if their S/O did not convert as well. If that's cool with you, then you should be good to go. For me it wouldn't be, but again, I was lucky that in my experience my guy didn't really care for religion much and his relatives that I did meet were pretty liberal religion-wise.

Thank you for replying. I was worried about the race thing as well. When I told him I was worried his parents would not like me because I'm black, he became upset. Told me not to say that again and that they would love me. He claims to have showed them pictures of me and they tell him they think I'm beautiful and they are happy he met someone who makes him happy. The converting to Islam deal is one thing I am iffy about. He does expect me to convert if things progress and we end up marrying.
 

TinasheSweet

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Right!!!! One of those languages where like you need to grow up around Arabic people so you can hear how words are supposed to sound. Is yours from the desert or the city?
Yeah he offered to teach me but I'm like yeahhh I'm too old to learn now lol. He's from the capital, Rabat.
 

Restinga

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He sent me pictures of his home and his parents and they seem to be middle class. He works full time and spends a lot of his spare time in coffee shops. I hear that's a big thing for Moroccans, coffee shops?? He never bad mouths Morocco and tells me life is beautiful for him there and that I would love it if I visited.

Before we spoke in depth, I was skeptical about whether or not I was just a ticket to America for him but the more I get know him, I don't feel he has ulterior motives. It's so unlike me to entertain someone who's far away never mind on another freaking continent but I really feel differently about him.

Those are all good signs. It sounds to me like he's serious, but of course I don't know him, so just take your time to get to know him if you like him.

Yeah, Moroccan men LOVE coffee shops.

As for race, some Moroccans are racist or colorist, but mostly in the very northern regions, so I wouldn't assume his family would be. For all you know he has black relatives.

You're American, so they will automatically like you.
 

Freddie Miles

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We speak Darija (western Arabic dialect) and/or Amazigh, so Arabic apps won't teach you our dialect lol. Other Arabs barely understand us.

Ha! The first two times I visited Morocco, after only studying fusha in undergrad (Michigan), I found darija relatively easy to understand; but then I spent 1.5 years in Egypt studying ammeya (I stopped studying fusha during this time, because it was too confusing to study both concurrently), and every trip to Morocco after that I basically resorted to French or English, because I COULD BARELY UNDERSTAND ANYTHING (same thing happened in Jordan - I just started trying to communicate in English).

The last time I was in Morocco (a year ago), it was a bit better, because I hadn't spoken Arabic in awhile (I'm one of those use it or lose it people, and I live in Oakland so most of the Arabic speakers I encounter are Yemeni) and it felt like learning Arabic all over again, rather than trying to translate darija into ammeya. People only laughed at me when I would use words like bas...
 

Erza Scarlet

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Thank you for replying. I was worried about the race thing as well. When I told him I was worried his parents would not like me because I'm black, he became upset. Told me not to say that again and that they would love me. He claims to have showed them pictures of me and they tell him they think I'm beautiful and they are happy he met someone who makes him happy. The converting to Islam deal is one thing I am iffy about. He does expect me to convert if things progress and we end up marrying.

You’re welcome!

All you have to do is figure out whether changing your spirituality is something you’re up for. How devout he is, is an important factor too. Moroccan Muslims (like most others) range from being fundamentalist to extremely liberal, so you have to enquire what full conversion means to him, and whether or not he’s flexible with the idea of being an interfaith couple.

And you might want to explain to him why you felt like your race might be an issue. If you’re a black person dating someone non-black, it’s important for your partner to understand why you are hyper-aware of your race and how other people might treat you because of it.

Lastly, like other posters have said, be very vigilant and wary if you’re dealing with him from long distance. My experience with North African guys were all cases where they’d grown up in North America, so it can be different. Unfortunately there is a high possibility that he could be trying to use you for a green card. I get that that may not be the case with him, but men are tricky. I’m caribbean so I’m very familiar with how foreign men play women to get citizenship in North America and the UK. If you are going to meet him, the safest thing is to invite him on a letter of invitation to your country, and meet him in a controlled environment, under your terms. Never go alone to a foreign country where you’re not familiar with the language to meet up with someone.
 

Erza Scarlet

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If he is in Morocco skyping you from his couch then let it go sis

but if he is in your country then that is diff
Lmao this comment just reminded me of that episode of 90 day fiancé with that awful white American broad and that Moroccan guy with the bad perm.
 

Restinga

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Ha! The first two times I visited Morocco, after only studying fusha in undergrad (Michigan), I found darija relatively easy to understand; but then I spent 1.5 years in Egypt studying ammeya (I stopped studying fusha during this time, because it was too confusing to study both concurrently), and every trip to Morocco after that I basically resorted to French or English, because I COULD BARELY UNDERSTAND ANYTHING (same thing happened in Jordan - I just started trying to communicate in English).

The last time I was in Morocco (a year ago), it was a bit better, because I hadn't spoken Arabic in awhile (I'm one of those use it or lose it people, and I live in Oakland so most of the Arabic speakers I encounter are Yemeni) and it felt like learning Arabic all over again, rather than trying to translate darija into ammeya. People only laughed at me when I would use words like bas...

Yeah, honestly, I don't understand other Arabic speakers lol. I only really understand northern Moroccans
 

Freddie Miles

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Yeah, honestly, I don't understand other Arabic speakers lol. I only really understand northern Moroccans

That makes sense; especially when dialectical differences are so pronounced.

I've had to explain to non-Arabic speaking friends that it's not as simple as trying to have a conversation with someone from another region with a heavy accent; it's like different languages (I always use the word chicken as an example: dajej in fusha, firekh in ammeya).

But I do think Cairenes would just fµck with me sometimes (maybe because I'm a black woman... but the difference between the treatment I received when my hair was[n't] covered is a whole other 903849308 stories). I once spent 45 minutes running around Cairo in 100+ degree weather asking people where I could find ice - to no avail - because I was using thalj (fusha) instead of talg (ammeya), and I know some of those people knew what I was talking about...
 

TinasheSweet

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They packing
giphy.webp

Yay! Just another plus!

Thanks(y)
 

TinasheSweet

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That makes sense; especially when dialectical differences are so pronounced.

I've had to explain to non-Arabic speaking friends that it's not as simple as trying to have a conversation with someone from another region with a heavy accent; it's like different languages (I always use the word chicken as an example: dajej in fusha, firekh in ammeya).

But I do think Cairenes would just fµck with me sometimes (maybe because I'm a black woman... but the difference between the treatment I received when my hair was[n't] covered is a whole other 903849308 stories). I once spent 45 minutes running around Cairo in 100+ degree weather asking people where I could find ice - to no avail - because I was using thalj (fusha) instead of talg (ammeya), and I know some of those people knew what I was talking about...

Yes I noticed this with the guy I'm talking to now. When I send him pictures of me with my head covered, he acts so smitten. He admitted he loves when I wear a scarf on my head and I think these are the main pics he shows his parents.
 

JayzGirl

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Been approached by them, but never dated one. Most are Muslim so many prefer their own, while many use American women as play things.
They’re good to have fun with but that’s totally it. Enjoy the good times, accept the free gifts and keep it moving..lol
 

TinasheSweet

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When he talks about you moving to Morocco with him, does he mean it would be nice to live in Rabat, specifically - or some other city in Morocco?
Well he doesn't live in Rabat currently but that is where he was born. He loves Agadir and talks about it a lot so I don't know if that's where he was thinking of or what. We're still getting to know each other but he already seems to know/think he wants to marry me.
 

Restinga

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That makes sense; especially when dialectical differences are so pronounced.

I've had to explain to non-Arabic speaking friends that it's not as simple as trying to have a conversation with someone from another region with a heavy accent; it's like different languages (I always use the word chicken as an example: dajej in fusha, firekh in ammeya).

But I do think Cairenes would just fµck with me sometimes (maybe because I'm a black woman... but the difference between the treatment I received when my hair was[n't] covered is a whole other 903849308 stories). I once spent 45 minutes running around Cairo in 100+ degree weather asking people where I could find ice - to no avail - because I was using thalj (fusha) instead of talg (ammeya), and I know some of those people knew what I was talking about...

I've never been to Cairo. That is really something. They probably did know tbh. You know how stubborn some people are when it comes to foreigners not speaking their language or dialect. Reminds me of the French.

In the north we don't even use Darija correctly, it's full of Spanish and French and Riffian.
 

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They differ but have one thing in common : domination. So be prepared, also if your foreign (not muslim, etc) thread lightly. But other than that I consider Moroccan men the hottest out of the Arabian peninsula/world. If its a long distance relationship I'd jump ship, sounds strange.
 

Freddie Miles

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Well he doesn't live in Rabat currently but that is where he was born. He loves Agadir and talks about it a lot so I don't know if that's where he was thinking of or what. We're still getting to know each other but he already seems to know/think he wants to marry me.

Hm... Agadir is nice. I find Rabat/Casablanca terribly boring, but I'm biased: I've only been to Rabat a few times for work conferences, and I always end up involved in arguments with random people in Casablanca.
 

Restinga

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Well he doesn't live in Rabat currently but that is where he was born. He loves Agadir and talks about it a lot so I don't know if that's where he was thinking of or what. We're still getting to know each other but he already seems to know/think he wants to marry me.

Agadir is great. Weeeww, a culture.

My future husband is from there

maxresdefault.jpg


Oh he doesn't know it yet, but he will
x5d2fl.gif
 

Freddie Miles

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I've never been to Cairo. That is really something. They probably did know tbh. You know how stubborn some people are when it comes to foreigners not speaking their language or dialect. Reminds me of the French.

In the north we don't even use Darija correctly, it's full of Spanish and French and Riffian.

Cairo is the most annoying city in which I've ever lived/spent a significant amount of time. I never felt like I was in danger and it's not expensive, but it's just so hot, dirty and loud all the time - and the high unemployment rate leads to lots of men just hanging out on the street all day with nothing to do but try to get your attention.

That said, Upper Egypt (Aswan) is so chill and beautiful, people are nicer and more polite, the weather is better, and you can actually swim in the Nile. And western Egypt (Siwa) has the best hot springs I've ever visited.

I used to cry every time I was flying back to Cairo from some other city/country (as did several of my friends), because it's just not a comfortable city.

The last time I was in Morocco was the first time I had ever been to Tangier (drove from Fes to Chefchaouen to Tangier), and I was shocked by how different the darija sounded (it never even occurred to me that people would be speaking Spanish, which is dumb given how short the ferry ride is to Spain)!
 

Freddie Miles

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My future husband is from there

maxresdefault.jpg


Oh he doesn't know it yet, but he will
x5d2fl.gif
[/QUOTE]

Who is this?! I've never seen him before, but I own those same headphones, so he has great taste!
 

Restinga

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Cairo is the most annoying city in which I've ever lived/spent a significant amount of time. I never felt like I was in danger and it's not expensive, but it's just so hot, dirty and loud all the time - and the high unemployment rate leads to lots of men just hanging out on the street all day with nothing to do but try to get your attention.

That said, Upper Egypt (Aswan) is so chill and beautiful, people are nicer and more polite, the weather is better, and you can actually swim in the Nile. And western Egypt (Siwa) has the best hot springs I've ever visited.

I used to cry every time I was flying back to Cairo from some other city/country (as did several of my friends), because it's just not a comfortable city.

The last time I was in Morocco was the first time I had ever been to Tangier (drove from Fes to Chefchaouen to Tangier), and I was shocked by how different the darija sounded (it never even occurred to me that people would be speaking Spanish, which is dumb given how short the ferry ride is to Spain)!

I do wanna visit Egypt and I was actually eyeing Aswan even before you told me! But now i'm definitely going.
 

nesima

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This thread is random asf lmao

Men are all the same. There are good and bad in every culture lol.

Ok i'm out lol....
 

Restinga

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My future husband is from there

maxresdefault.jpg


Oh he doesn't know it yet, but he will
x5d2fl.gif

Who is this?! I've never seen him before, but I own those same headphones, so he has great taste![/QUOTE]

lol

Mehdi Qamoum. He's up and coming Gnawa musician. He has potential, but I just think he's cute lol
 

bgrits

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Just would like to hear of some experiences whether positive or negative. Thanks.
You need to Google because I read where you have to be careful because they can be controlling, trying to get a green card and mamas boys ( not all of them) due to the culture.
 

Napturallcurls

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I knew This Filipina girl who traveled there for study abroad and this b!tch said men were proposing to her with camels and sh!t.

And she wasn’t cute. ‍♀️
 

accountname

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I knew This Filipina girl who traveled there for study abroad and this b!tch said men were proposing to her with camels and sh!t.

And she wasn’t cute. ‍♀️
but she probably looked exotic to them

why sell your best camel for a fugly though.
 

thatchiq

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I know alot of Moroccan people.
One of my sisters was married to one and one still is.

They are either serious with you or not. A big importance is that his family likes you. If they don't it will NOT work out. No matter how much you two like eachother and how much you try.

The younger ones don't really care what your religion is and your past, but the older they get the more traditional they become. They don't make hoes a housewife.

They treat their women good, but are very strict and old fashioned.

They have ALOT of pride which means they want to pay for everything and really act like the man of the house, but they(most) like their women to be bossy aswell. Moroccan women are not submissive and they hold their self respect high. So not much partying in clubs no slutty clothes. They don't like tattoos except the cultured elderly women.

And be cautious. Some are only looking for passports.
 

TinasheSweet

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You need to Google because I read where you have to be careful because they can be controlling, trying to get a green card and mamas boys ( not all of them) due to the culture.
I have googled but most of what I read is from old bitter white women who got used for money and green cards. I need opinions from younger black women like myself to see if there's any contrast to what I have already read online.
 
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I think he's lying when he told you that he showed a picture of yourself to his parents. If you're on facetime ask him to see his parents just to say hi since "they know you"...he will never do that imo. He saying lovely things to you ,being extraaaaa romantic calling you "habibi".in our culture we don't talk about "girlfriends" to our parents. He about that green card life lol
 

TinasheSweet

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I think he's lying when he told you that he showed a picture of yourself to his parents. If you're on facetime ask him to see his parents just to say hi since "they know you"...he will never do that imo. He saying lovely things to you ,being extraaaaa romantic calling you "habibi".in our culture we don't talk about "girlfriends" to our parents. He about that green card life lol

Actually he did this last night, I saw his mother briefly during our video chat but she doesn't speak any English so all I could say was hi how are you but she definitely seems to know who I am to him. Nice attempt at trying to make me feel bad though(y)
 
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Actually he did this last night, I saw his mother briefly during our video chat but she doesn't speak any English so all I could say was hi how are you but she definitely seems to know who I am to him. Nice attempt at trying to make me feel bad though(y)


Honestly be careful...and ask him how he sees marriage( 1 wife or more,if you want to go out with friends will he be ok,will he let you work,religion,kid's religion etc... )Things that seem normal to you may sound crazy to him.but don't ask him directly be subtle and intelligent about that.i hope he got a modern type of mind or else it could be hard for you. Our culture is very different from yours in america.
 

TinasheSweet

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Honestly be careful...and ask him how he sees marriage( 1 wife or more,if you want to go out with friends will he be ok,will he let you work,religion,kid's religion etc... )Things that seem normal to you may sound crazy to him.but don't ask him directly be subtle and intelligent about that.i hope he got a modern type of mind or else it could be hard for you. Our culture is very different from yours in america.

He said he only wants one wife.. I read in Morocco a man has to prove he can afford a second or Third wife and that the first wife has to give permission. We've discussed religion but not how we would raise kids, if we were to have them. Like I said its still early but seems to be progressing quickly. I plan to visit soon.
 

Sista Saved

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Yeah mine tells me he loves me already. I read this a lot about them but that half the time its just an attempt to use you for a green card.

Americans have to learn that when foreign or non Western people say "I love you", it does not have the same weight as what we mean. What they really mean is that they like you a lot and are attracted to you. Many of these cultures never had a real word for Love, like we talk about it here. When they say it, just think of it as a child saying they love ice cream.
 

Harriet_Thugman

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I meet one at a bar and danced with him and we were vibing and suddenly he bit me on my neck shoulder area and when I tried to tell someone he grabbed and to shush and ask me not to. So it’s a no from me. That motherfµcker bit me hard as sh!t


He's an S&M enthusiast. And that is putting it nicely. That stunt reminds me of that Saudi prince that bit and beaten his servant to death.
 

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Americans have to learn that when foreign or non Western people say "I love you", it does not have the same weight as what we mean. What they really mean is that they like you a lot and are attracted to you. Many of these cultures never had a real word for Love, like we talk about it here. When they say it, just think of it as a child saying they love ice cream.

This is so true
 

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