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Approaching these dL guys

TheCluesIleftForYou

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I’m not really getting why you desire to be with someone who is 1: in a relationship with a woman and won’t relieve his sexuality Or 2: Will hide his relationship with you... are you seeking purely xes. If so make a tinder, a grinder, and or stick a store up and get arrested there are a lot of those kind of men in those places
 

TheLetterD

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One does not simply go out and meet DL men. They will come to you and honestly, majority of them won't want to mess with you if they feel you can't "pass" for straight or feel like you'll run your mouth.

DL men are not worth the trouble at all OP. Majority of the time, they just want xes and that's it. Now, if that's what you're looking for, then go for it. However, have better standards for yourself, why mess with someone who's in a relationship while doing shady sh!t on the side? Ultimately, it's your life and your choice on what type of men you mess with, but trust me, DL ain't it.
 

JustLivingTv

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I’m not really getting why you desire to be with someone who is 1: in a relationship with a woman and won’t relieve his sexuality Or 2: Will hide his relationship with you... are you seeking purely xes. If so make a tinder, a grinder, and or stick a store up and get arrested there are a lot of those kind of men in those places

The is one of many why folks dislike the Lgbtq community cause they always thinking bout xes.

Personally, I don't see the point in messing with soome punk ass boy who scared to be themselves in the street but act tough like they fear nothing.

Not to mention a lot of dl punk ass boys are highly abusive and ain't no need to ever fall in love cause you gotta live a lie like them.

Any adult who has time to play hide & go seek with dl punk ass boys have too much time and have no idea the struggle of the LGBTQ community.

People don't come out to go back in the closet and back to stressing.
 

kissmba

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It's interesting but I've noticed an increase in black men who are gay or on the DL on social media. Maybe I wasn't paying attention before but there seems to be a sudden SURGE and it makes me fearful of dating.
 

Mysterious.

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It's interesting but I've noticed an increase in black men who are gay or on the DL on social media. Maybe I wasn't paying attention before but there seems to be a sudden SURGE and it makes me fearful of dating.
So you're seeing people being outed?? That makes you scared??
 

Judas

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please stay away from DL men unless you’re looking for no strings attached xes or friendship and that’s even if you pass as straight. they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what they’re doing and they are unpredictable. I learnt my lesson.
 

Mysterious.

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please stay away from DL men unless you’re looking for no strings attached xes or friendship and that’s even if you pass as straight. they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what they’re doing and they are unpredictable. I learnt my lesson.
They know know what they want its xes right? They are unpredictable cuz they ghost you outta nowhere in my experience.
 

Fairydust87

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please stay away from DL men unless you’re looking for no strings attached xes or friendship and that’s even if you pass as straight. they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what they’re doing and they are unpredictable. I learnt my lesson.


True
 

Ujjnala

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Thank y’all so much talking some sense into me ❤️


Those anti AIDS programs need to give their billions of dollars to us because we are clearly doing a better job then they are. Smh.


Out of all the time and energy and blatant advertising about closeted men and disease some people still want get buckwild with them.
 

TheLetterD

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The DL thing is TROUBLE

they giving out STDs real bad out here in Charlotte
I guess I’m lucky to not run into too many DL men here, but then again, I don’t really fool with too many guys in my city. Nobody here really interests me like that.
 

MissClavel

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I guess I’m lucky to not run into too many DL men here, but then again, I don’t really fool with too many guys in my city. Nobody here really interests me like that.

wonder if maybe we will cross paths lol

yea the guys here are a DUD I’ve only been here a few months and I’m over it tbh and a lot of these black dudes like white boys anyway

a lot of guys here are not cultured all they want to do is go to brunch at leroy fox

I’ve also been catfished a couple times
 

Elara07

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Those anti AIDS programs need to give their billions of dollars to us because we are clearly doing a better job then they are. Smh.


Out of all the time and energy and blatant advertising about closeted men and disease some people still want get buckwild with them.

Are you guys NOT aware that the majority of “DL”/Bi men who publicly identify as straight are WHITE/Non-blk right? Closeted men are in EVERY ethnicity.... especially the more masculine they are...

This isn’t anything that’s exclusive to blk men....EVERY ethnic group has this problem due to patriarchy/masculinity standards.

have you guys not been on Grindr... or traveled abroad to cities lived in any major city outside the US South? You’ll find yourself getting hit on by closeted men from EVERY variety!

Again, DL/“Closet” is a worldwide phenomenon due to patriarchy/masculinity expectations stemming from religion!
 
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Shasmine

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Tell
Are you guys NOT aware that the majority of “DL”/Bi men who publicly identify as straight are WHITE/Non-blk right? Closeted men are in EVERY ethnicity.... especially the more masculine they are...

This isn’t anything that’s exclusive to blk men....EVERY ethnic group has this problem due to patriarchy/masculinity standards.

have you guys not been on Grindr... or traveled abroad to cities lived in any major city outside the US South? You’ll find yourself getting hit on by closeted men from EVERY variety!

Again, DL/“Closet” is a worldwide phenomenon due to patriarchy/masculinity expectations stemming from religion!
Tell me more about this because I been missing out
 
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Yikes. I can tell you must be under 25... you're gonna do what you wanna do, cuz you're young and going through that phase, but just know it's just gonna be drama and tears. It won't end up right... ever. You can try to be as unattached as much as you want, but it never works.

You're completely worthy of being in a loving, mutual, equal relationship with a dude who is comfortable with himself. Hopefully you won't end up having to learn this the hard way, but if so good luck!
 

Dee Cho

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Tell

Tell me more about this because I been missing out

It's pretty common lol. Basically none of your guy friends will ever tell you, but there are many dl/bi who present straight publicly. And if you're on grindr a lot theyll hit you up. You don't really need to look or try.

You cant really assign negative or positive value to it, bc I mean the issue at hand is being gay/bi is still at odds with what it means to be a "man" and what masculinity is. These guys also from my understanding aren't deeply homophobic necessarily either. One of my friends likes to call them "men who love men" lol, bc I think to him DL implies a level of latent homophobia. And in general I don't think these guys are. But yea that's the general tea lol.
 

Shasmine

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It's pretty common lol. Basically none of your guy friends will ever tell you, but there are many dl/bi who present straight publicly. And if you're on grindr a lot theyll hit you up. You don't really need to look or try.

You cant really assign negative or positive value to it, bc I mean the issue at hand is being gay/bi is still at odds with what it means to be a "man" and what masculinity is. These guys also from my understanding aren't deeply homophobic necessarily either. One of my friends likes to call them "men who love men" lol, bc I think to him DL implies a level of latent homophobia. And in general I don't think these guys are. But yea that's the general tea lol.
Soooo I have to get on Grindr to see what’s up
 

Dee Cho

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Soooo I have to get on Grindr to see what’s up

Basically lmaoo but honestly as a queer woman i literally never knew this until a lot of my gay and queer guy friends told me. It's a phenomena that is also like a very ingroup conversation
 

Shasmine

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Basically lmaoo but honestly as a queer woman i literally never knew this until a lot of my gay and queer guy friends told me. It's a phenomena that is also like a very ingroup conversation
And is the straight guys on there ?
 

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