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Article: "He told our son to shut up." My husband hates being a father to our six-month-old son.

TheLurker2019

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They’re headed for a divorce. She’s not going to give up her dream of having lots of kids and he’s clearly a 0 and done father.
 

MissDeee

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Girl there’s good ones out there. It wasn’t until I met my now husband that I wanted to have kids. All of my past relationships I never wanted kids. My hubby now adores our baby and has stayed up many nights taking care of him when I was just too tired. Believe there’s good ones out there love. Just take your time. People out here making babies with any and everyone and wonder why their poor children end up abused and unhappy

I am 39, those days of meeting the "one to change my mind," are long gone. At this point, I just want a life partner.
 

JasminaRege

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I learned this well into adulthood. We have got to ensure that boys learn how to be nurturing as well.

Exactly. A man who isn't naturally affectionate, especially with me, will not make it near my uterus. I just find myself more attracted to men who like to look after things, even animals and plants. That toxic masculinity stuff is played out. Its possible that I can get married and it doesn't work out between us, but I really can't afford to get my children's father wrong.
 

LaBelleChose

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Husband is acting like a whole turd BUT I clicked on the post and there were some good comments in there. Before this lady rushes to file divorce papers, she should explore the following possibilities:

1. He could be dealing with post-natal depression - this can affect men as well as women, and therapy can help.
2. A lot of men (and even women) aren’t into the baby stage, but they bond with the kids when they get a little older. If so, she could try getting him to take on more of the non-baby chores and just let her focus on baby for now.
 

ScatterHeart

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I would leave him. She'd be better off as a single mom than in a relationship with a man that resents them both. The way he feels about the situation is only going to get worse over time.
I have a hard time believing that he just up and changed his tune. He probably felt that way all along.
 
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IVF is really expensive and not covered by a lot of insurance, so IDK if I believe she didn't see the signs that he didn't want kids. I doubt he would have been okay with so much leaving their household if he didn't want at least one kid. Most of my friends that wanted kids adjusted that real quick after their first.

Maybe, but if they could afford multiple treatments, they might have disposal income. She (and the women around him) may have talked him into it despite the cost, or maybe he didn't want kids and never voiced it (which I truly don't believe), but either way, I don't think that man wanted kids which is super unfortunate for her and her son.
 
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Larue1

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You really think he is going to come around lol. He gonna send that check and be a deadbeat. If he don't want to be around his baby now ... you think he trying to get visitation? That would require 1 on 1 time with the baby ... he ain't trying to do that.
Some people do things like that. Like people who fight to get their kids back from Child Services only to kill it through abuse. Women who won't give up their child, but will instead abuse it until they are caught. Some people like to keep up appearances just so they look normal to others.
 

Fluff

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My first thought was: but were they though? I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that he "totally changed". I don't think he ever wanted to have kids, she was all caught up in her own fantasies, wasn't hearing him/talked him into it, he went along with it because he thought he could maybe deal, and...here they are. If he was just as desperate to have a baby as she was he wouldn't be acting that way toward the baby he wanted so bad, even if he was sleep deprived. Parents typically go at each other, not that baby. He's resentful because he never wanted the kid in the first place, and unfortunately having the baby actually solidified this for him.

There's pieces of the story missing. This seems like a "he says he doesn't want kids, but he'll change his mind!" situation...

My first thought as well! This idiot woman is omitting some key parts to this "woe is me" tale.

First of all, I am not a fan of IVF. I think it's ridiculous, expensive as hell, and selfish as fµck. There are countless children waiting to be adopted or in foster care, waiting to find their forever home. No one in this day in age is part of a goddamned dynasty, so requiring that your kid share your sh!tty genetic makeup is awful, because that's all it boils down to in cases like this.

Hell, 80% of the women I see online bemoaning motherhood, will start giving this laundry list of mental illnesses their child may have, and then they casually throw in some sh!t like "I'm bipolar, ADHD, autistic and have awful anxiety"! I can't help but think: "and you wanted to pass this torturous existence down to another human?!".

Reminds me of my fruitcake of a high school history teacher. Her first son didn't get enough oxygen at birth, and ended up with some debilitating disorder which means he will require full time care for life. Then her next son had a similar condition. And this b!tch kept reproducing until she had three freaking kids, all with mental and physical disabilities and all of which cannot care for themselves! Great.

And who is stupid enough to brush aside their partner's wishes when it comes to having a kid?! This is something they should have discussed a long time ago. Us childfree people have this conversation all the time with our significant others, and most of us have sense enough to break things off if our partner is set on wanting children. But yet again, I see this theme quite often in parenting forums!

Even for men who claim they're onboard and ready to have kids, the reality is usually quite different. They usually end up going to work (if the woman is lucky), and that is IT. They don't feed the kid, put the kid to bed, bathe it, play with it, change diapers, go to or even schedule doctor appointments. They come home and retreat to some dark corner of the house to play video games all night. Or just watch TV and dick around. And when the mom finally does plop the poor baby down in front of them, they scroll through their phone and pay the kid no mind. Eventually these parents will toss the phone or tablet in front of the child itself to entertain it, even though we are all well aware that these damned screens delay the sh!t out of the kid's development, and exacerbate their multitude of "disorders".

These men also tend to not help around the house at all. So if a man has a job, just be aware that this is like the golden standard to some of them, and they feel this absolves them of all responsibilities at home.

I swear, if I'm having a rough day all I have to do is browse some of those parenting subs on Reddit, and I instantly feel better. I hate feeling trapped, and there is no trap more permanent than having a kid, IMO. It's probably one of my worst nightmares.

It creates and exposes so many issues in your relationship, your life isn't your own anymore, you're usually struggling with money, yet stuck in this world of mind numbing consumerism, you don't sleep, you're the last to eat, your partner becomes stressed and distant, you're no longer each other's #1, you have zero time for your actual interests and hobbies, and there is no going back to the way it was before. Absolute nightmare territory.

I saw one 30 second clip of Teen Mom 2 awhile back, where that girl Chelsea is wrangling her ever-growing brood into a minivan, and talking with baby daddy #2 about baby daddy #1's shortcomings, while her oldest daughter is listening and yet again digesting the idea that her father couldn't give a damn about her.

Everything about that short clip made my skin crawl, and for a moment I envisioned that as my life, and this sense of inescapable, deep depression settled on me like a wet blanket. I could practically smell the old French fries and stale, baby formula vomit, wafting off that minivan; and I envisioned all those sh!tty courthouse trips and attorney meetings, over custody and child support and whatnot; and how you're tied to a loser for life when you have a kid with them. And as always, I thought of myself when I was her daughter's age, and how sad and infuriating it is that she will never know a dad like mine.

So I can see why the dad in this tale is already over it. But no one forced his ass to get with the baby's mother. And as they supposedly struggled to conceive, did he not think that would be a great opportunity to say "hey, this doesn't seem like it's meant to be, and TBH I'm not onboard anymore with having another child"? Instead he just let her railroad over him, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars?! Something isn't right here.

But I'll be damned if I would be all "he refuses to change diapers so I have to do it"! That's fµck!ng sick enough when it's a "normal" couple, but this guy is just flat out detached from this baby. What's the point of staying with this spineless man, then, if he doesn't help you at all? Grab that baby that you sooo badly wanted to have and GTFO before you psychologically fµck up your kid with endless resentment! I get pissed if my BF hasn't helped scoop litter boxes, and feel like we are neglecting our pets! Let him act like he's gonna let a human baby marinate in its own waste and see what happens! Both these "parents" seem like pieces of sh!t, but I expect nothing more nowadays. To even think of subjecting another human to what awaits us here in a few short years is fµck!ng appalling, IMO, when that person didn't ask to be put here.

Humankind is in for a rude awakening and a seriously grim future - especially when this current crop of kids become adults. They have no proper nuclear family; parents riddled with mental illness and heavily medicated; the kids themselves are now heavily medicated; they're needy AF and even violent, in their endless "tantrums" from their "authoritative disorder" and "oppositional defiance disorder" (for fµck's sake - really?!); there is zero discipline (hmm...); and the screen that's supposedly babysitting them is frying their brains. Oh, and the earth itself cannot sustain our current way of life, yet we are making zero moves or plans for what we will do when the resources run out (which will happen very soon). Our planet is burning, flooding, covered in trash and we are dying by the thousands each day now.

Yeah, go ahead and add a kid into that hellscape! Sounds like a great plan, and one which will definitely not hasten our demise, since ya know, each kid you add will have a sickening carbon footprint. It's also really great for developing nations, seeing as how they're the last in line for our ever-shrinking pool of resources! As long as you can pass those genes down that's all that matters! Good god.

:bulgyeyes
 

dst10spr97

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Others have already said it. I would definitely keep my good eye on the father and not leave him alone with the baby. He sounds like the type that would get frustated and shake the baby.
 

Miss Orange

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My first thought as well! This idiot woman is omitting some key parts to this "woe is me" tale.

First of all, I am not a fan of IVF. I think it's ridiculous, expensive as hell, and selfish as fµck. There are countless children waiting to be adopted or in foster care, waiting to find their forever home. No one in this day in age is part of a goddamned dynasty, so requiring that your kid share your sh!tty genetic makeup is awful, because that's all it boils down to in cases like this.

Hell, 80% of the women I see online bemoaning motherhood, will start giving this laundry list of mental illnesses their child may have, and then they casually throw in some sh!t like "I'm bipolar, ADHD, autistic and have awful anxiety"! I can't help but think: "and you wanted to pass this torturous existence down to another human?!".

Reminds me of my fruitcake of a high school history teacher. Her first son didn't get enough oxygen at birth, and ended up with some debilitating disorder which means he will require full time care for life. Then her next son had a similar condition. And this b!tch kept reproducing until she had three freaking kids, all with mental and physical disabilities and all of which cannot care for themselves! Great.

And who is stupid enough to brush aside their partner's wishes when it comes to having a kid?! This is something they should have discussed a long time ago. Us childfree people have this conversation all the time with our significant others, and most of us have sense enough to break things off if our partner is set on wanting children. But yet again, I see this theme quite often in parenting forums!

Even for men who claim they're onboard and ready to have kids, the reality is usually quite different. They usually end up going to work (if the woman is lucky), and that is IT. They don't feed the kid, put the kid to bed, bathe it, play with it, change diapers, go to or even schedule doctor appointments. They come home and retreat to some dark corner of the house to play video games all night. Or just watch TV and dick around. And when the mom finally does plop the poor baby down in front of them, they scroll through their phone and pay the kid no mind. Eventually these parents will toss the phone or tablet in front of the child itself to entertain it, even though we are all well aware that these damned screens delay the sh!t out of the kid's development, and exacerbate their multitude of "disorders".

These men also tend to not help around the house at all. So if a man has a job, just be aware that this is like the golden standard to some of them, and they feel this absolves them of all responsibilities at home.

I swear, if I'm having a rough day all I have to do is browse some of those parenting subs on Reddit, and I instantly feel better. I hate feeling trapped, and there is no trap more permanent than having a kid, IMO. It's probably one of my worst nightmares.

It creates and exposes so many issues in your relationship, your life isn't your own anymore, you're usually struggling with money, yet stuck in this world of mind numbing consumerism, you don't sleep, you're the last to eat, your partner becomes stressed and distant, you're no longer each other's #1, you have zero time for your actual interests and hobbies, and there is no going back to the way it was before. Absolute nightmare territory.

I saw one 30 second clip of Teen Mom 2 awhile back, where that girl Chelsea is wrangling her ever-growing brood into a minivan, and talking with baby daddy #2 about baby daddy #1's shortcomings, while her oldest daughter is listening and yet again digesting the idea that her father couldn't give a damn about her.

Everything about that short clip made my skin crawl, and for a moment I envisioned that as my life, and this sense of inescapable, deep depression settled on me like a wet blanket. I could practically smell the old French fries and stale, baby formula vomit, wafting off that minivan; and I envisioned all those sh!tty courthouse trips and attorney meetings, over custody and child support and whatnot; and how you're tied to a loser for life when you have a kid with them. And as always, I thought of myself when I was her daughter's age, and how sad and infuriating it is that she will never know a dad like mine.

So I can see why the dad in this tale is already over it. But no one forced his ass to get with the baby's mother. And as they supposedly struggled to conceive, did he not think that would be a great opportunity to say "hey, this doesn't seem like it's meant to be, and TBH I'm not onboard anymore with having another child"? Instead he just let her railroad over him, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars?! Something isn't right here.

But I'll be damned if I would be all "he refuses to change diapers so I have to do it"! That's fµck!ng sick enough when it's a "normal" couple, but this guy is just flat out detached from this baby. What's the point of staying with this spineless man, then, if he doesn't help you at all? Grab that baby that you sooo badly wanted to have and GTFO before you psychologically fµck up your kid with endless resentment! I get pissed if my BF hasn't helped scoop litter boxes, and feel like we are neglecting our pets! Let him act like he's gonna let a human baby marinate in its own waste and see what happens! Both these "parents" seem like pieces of sh!t, but I expect nothing more nowadays. To even think of subjecting another human to what awaits us here in a few short years is fµck!ng appalling, IMO, when that person didn't ask to be put here.

Humankind is in for a rude awakening and a seriously grim future - especially when this current crop of kids become adults. They have no proper nuclear family; parents riddled with mental illness and heavily medicated; the kids themselves are now heavily medicated; they're needy AF and even violent, in their endless "tantrums" from their "authoritative disorder" and "oppositional defiance disorder" (for fµck's sake - really?!); there is zero discipline (hmm...); and the screen that's supposedly babysitting them is frying their brains. Oh, and the earth itself cannot sustain our current way of life, yet we are making zero moves or plans for what we will do when the resources run out (which will happen very soon). Our planet is burning, flooding, covered in trash and we are dying by the thousands each day now.

Yeah, go ahead and add a kid into that hellscape! Sounds like a great plan, and one which will definitely not hasten our demise, since ya know, each kid you add will have a sickening carbon footprint. It's also really great for developing nations, seeing as how they're the last in line for our ever-shrinking pool of resources! As long as you can pass those genes down that's all that matters! Good god.

:bulgyeyes

You make many great points. I’m actually petrified of the kids my child will be going to school with because so many other parents are trash. People procreating when they have no financial or mental means to do so. I actually cut a friend out when she made it clear she was adopting simply because she was lonely. She also said she would never tell her child he she was adopted for fear of them leaving her. I found that sick and so selfish. Get help and don’t bring a child into your sick and unhealthy world
 

Huffle87

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Postpartum Depression is a thing for men too. Jeez, not a lot of sympathy on this thread. If this Dad has PPD, he needs support and counselling, if he is indeed just a douche, then sure, the mum in question should watch out for her baby.

But we need to be spreading the word to everyone that Postpartum Depression affects both Mothers AND fathers. Especially when this seems to have happened after the birth.
 

GigiLaMoore

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Women really be going through it wow

You mean putting themselves through it? The baby is 6 months old. I am sure there were indicators that he would not make a good father. If he isn't interested in being a father, then I wouldn't be interested in being a wife. In what universe does a person tell a 6 month old baby to shut up? She better protect her child.
 

cheerie

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I think her excitement during the IVF treatments and pregnancy overshadowed his reluctance. Their relationship probably always had an adult/child dynamic. Just look at how he checked out of caring for the baby as if he were the big brother and not the father. Plus screaming at the baby like he doesn’t understand that will only make the crying worse. She needs to leave asap.This situation sounds like the basis on which many Dateline and 48 Hours episodes are based.
 

ProductFiend

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What does she mean there's only so much she can take onboard??

She's a single mother now. She had better take it all onboard!

I'm not going to put all the blame on the father. She should have paid close attention to the cues he was sending her instead of being all wrapped up in being a mother.
 

Overnight Celeb

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My first thought as well! This idiot woman is omitting some key parts to this "woe is me" tale.

First of all, I am not a fan of IVF. I think it's ridiculous, expensive as hell, and selfish as fµck. There are countless children waiting to be adopted or in foster care, waiting to find their forever home. No one in this day in age is part of a goddamned dynasty, so requiring that your kid share your sh!tty genetic makeup is awful, because that's all it boils down to in cases like this.

Hell, 80% of the women I see online bemoaning motherhood, will start giving this laundry list of mental illnesses their child may have, and then they casually throw in some sh!t like "I'm bipolar, ADHD, autistic and have awful anxiety"! I can't help but think: "and you wanted to pass this torturous existence down to another human?!".

Reminds me of my fruitcake of a high school history teacher. Her first son didn't get enough oxygen at birth, and ended up with some debilitating disorder which means he will require full time care for life. Then her next son had a similar condition. And this b!tch kept reproducing until she had three freaking kids, all with mental and physical disabilities and all of which cannot care for themselves! Great.

And who is stupid enough to brush aside their partner's wishes when it comes to having a kid?! This is something they should have discussed a long time ago. Us childfree people have this conversation all the time with our significant others, and most of us have sense enough to break things off if our partner is set on wanting children. But yet again, I see this theme quite often in parenting forums!

Even for men who claim they're onboard and ready to have kids, the reality is usually quite different. They usually end up going to work (if the woman is lucky), and that is IT. They don't feed the kid, put the kid to bed, bathe it, play with it, change diapers, go to or even schedule doctor appointments. They come home and retreat to some dark corner of the house to play video games all night. Or just watch TV and dick around. And when the mom finally does plop the poor baby down in front of them, they scroll through their phone and pay the kid no mind. Eventually these parents will toss the phone or tablet in front of the child itself to entertain it, even though we are all well aware that these damned screens delay the sh!t out of the kid's development, and exacerbate their multitude of "disorders".

These men also tend to not help around the house at all. So if a man has a job, just be aware that this is like the golden standard to some of them, and they feel this absolves them of all responsibilities at home.

I swear, if I'm having a rough day all I have to do is browse some of those parenting subs on Reddit, and I instantly feel better. I hate feeling trapped, and there is no trap more permanent than having a kid, IMO. It's probably one of my worst nightmares.

It creates and exposes so many issues in your relationship, your life isn't your own anymore, you're usually struggling with money, yet stuck in this world of mind numbing consumerism, you don't sleep, you're the last to eat, your partner becomes stressed and distant, you're no longer each other's #1, you have zero time for your actual interests and hobbies, and there is no going back to the way it was before. Absolute nightmare territory.


I saw one 30 second clip of Teen Mom 2 awhile back, where that girl Chelsea is wrangling her ever-growing brood into a minivan, and talking with baby daddy #2 about baby daddy #1's shortcomings, while her oldest daughter is listening and yet again digesting the idea that her father couldn't give a damn about her.

Everything about that short clip made my skin crawl, and for a moment I envisioned that as my life, and this sense of inescapable, deep depression settled on me like a wet blanket. I could practically smell the old French fries and stale, baby formula vomit, wafting off that minivan; and I envisioned all those sh!tty courthouse trips and attorney meetings, over custody and child support and whatnot; and how you're tied to a loser for life when you have a kid with them. And as always, I thought of myself when I was her daughter's age, and how sad and infuriating it is that she will never know a dad like mine.

So I can see why the dad in this tale is already over it. But no one forced his ass to get with the baby's mother. And as they supposedly struggled to conceive, did he not think that would be a great opportunity to say "hey, this doesn't seem like it's meant to be, and TBH I'm not onboard anymore with having another child"? Instead he just let her railroad over him, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars?! Something isn't right here.

But I'll be damned if I would be all "he refuses to change diapers so I have to do it"! That's fµck!ng sick enough when it's a "normal" couple, but this guy is just flat out detached from this baby. What's the point of staying with this spineless man, then, if he doesn't help you at all? Grab that baby that you sooo badly wanted to have and GTFO before you psychologically fµck up your kid with endless resentment! I get pissed if my BF hasn't helped scoop litter boxes, and feel like we are neglecting our pets! Let him act like he's gonna let a human baby marinate in its own waste and see what happens! Both these "parents" seem like pieces of sh!t, but I expect nothing more nowadays. To even think of subjecting another human to what awaits us here in a few short years is fµck!ng appalling, IMO, when that person didn't ask to be put here.

Humankind is in for a rude awakening and a seriously grim future - especially when this current crop of kids become adults. They have no proper nuclear family; parents riddled with mental illness and heavily medicated; the kids themselves are now heavily medicated; they're needy AF and even violent, in their endless "tantrums" from their "authoritative disorder" and "oppositional defiance disorder" (for fµck's sake - really?!); there is zero discipline (hmm...); and the screen that's supposedly babysitting them is frying their brains. Oh, and the earth itself cannot sustain our current way of life, yet we are making zero moves or plans for what we will do when the resources run out (which will happen very soon). Our planet is burning, flooding, covered in trash and we are dying by the thousands each day now.

Yeah, go ahead and add a kid into that hellscape! Sounds like a great plan, and one which will definitely not hasten our demise, since ya know, each kid you add will have a sickening carbon footprint. It's also really great for developing nations, seeing as how they're the last in line for our ever-shrinking pool of resources! As long as you can pass those genes down that's all that matters! Good god.


:bulgyeyes

So you literally wrote out my whole “why decided I ain’t doing that sh!t” manifesto! :ROFLMAO:
 

ILikeYoFace

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Neva, eva!! My youngest never shuts up. LOL Mama, Mama, Mama. I think she's in the Guiness Book for saying mama the most in a 1 minute time span. It started at 2. She's 10. I said little girl you are so aggy. She said OMG mom whatever, anyway so blah blah blah....
She's my broke BFF. :ROFLMAO:
That’s so cute. I call my kids my “broke roomies”. :LOL:
 

JustKelly44

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This woman is an idiot.

She was with this man for years, and just now figured out what kinda person he is??? I can’t..
 

BornaGApeach

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Time to go! You don’t know what to do and your husband talks to his own 6 month old this way? Smh. Let this mf go. He may turn into an abuser and you really don’t want to hang around to find out. Children are helpless and you need to take the correct steps to protect them. That’s a parents responsibility. Not coddling some grown a$$ b*tch who tells a 6 month old to shut up.
 

diditonthem

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I can imagine being frustrated but at 6 months babies are so sweet. They're babbling and social and just so cute. They should be sleeping through the night too.

Why would she want to have MORE kids by him?
 

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