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Asexuality is one of the most misunderstood xesual orientations. This is what it's really like.

SarahCameron

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It doesnt, not to me at least, why would I date someone thats not attracted to me? Way to feel rejected lol

there are varying degrees of asexuality. some people can be asexual and still have regular xes for enjoyment, some people can be asexual and be completely disgusted by the idea of xes, and some people can be asexual and not ever want to have xes because they simply just don’t want to. and there are subdivisions too, like demisexuality, grey-asexuality, and others that i can’t think of off the top of my head (sorry!) there are different types and degrees.
 

lanoire

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Because different asexuals have completely different definitions of what it means to them. It’s almost like “non-binary”. Very contradictory and confusing. Like what is the point of trying to label yourself with it?
 

technodrome

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I think I’m both aromantic and asexual. I’m definitely not romance repulsed or xes repulsed; I feel neutral about both of those things, but sometimes I crave and fantasize about one or the other…or both. It’s strange.

Other times I think I’m bisexual. Idk it’s hard to tell because I never been physically intimate and/or xesual with anybody. I think I can be but it has to be under very specific conditions. But the majority of the time, I wouldn’t go out of my way to date someone or have xes with them. Call me corny, but I prefer a close platonic relationship (like a bff or soulmate type of thing) over a romantic and/or xesual relationship, but I’m not entirely opposed to it.

*Sorry if this confuses anybody, I’ve just been thinking a lot about how I sometimes mistake strong, platonic love for romance, and asking myself: “Would I really enjoy xes?” :question:emoji_shrug: I guess my best bet is to not label myself.
 

JJ8888

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https://www.insider.com/asexuality-living-as-asexual-person-xes-attraction-myths-person-2021-4

When Yasmin Benoit's friends and peers became boy-obsessed in their early teens, she thought something must be wrong with her.

"It became obvious that I didn't think that any passing boy was like a hunk. I didn't think any teacher under 30 was hot. I wasn't interested in hooking up with the other girls. I thought everyone in 'Twilight' was unattractive," Benoit told Insider.

"I just thought it all seemed very silly. You'd have girls arguing with each other over some very mediocre boy. It seemed to really dominate people's thoughts and people's lives, and I just didn't care in the slightest."

It wasn't until she was 15 and other students questioned Benoit about her lack of xesual interest that she found, on Google, the word to describe herself: Asexual.

Millions of people identify as asexual​

Asexuality, or a lack of xesual attraction, is often misunderstood in our xes-driven culture. Asexual people, who make up an estimated 1% of the global population, can still become xesually aroused, masturbate, and have xes with others, Teen Vogue previously reported. But xesual attraction isn't a driving factor in their relationships with others.

As Benoit puts it, "It's kind of like a xesual orientation that isn't oriented anywhere."

For Benoit, the most frustrating part of growing into her asexual identity was others' opinions of it. Their constant questioning, and suggestion that she wasn't normal, made her question herself, she told Insider.

That's why she started writing about asexual people like herself on internet blogs. In 2018, Benoit created #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike, a hashtag asexual folks can add to their own social media posts to put more faces to the misunderstood and underrepresented xesual orientation.

Asexuality is seldom portrayed in the media​

Compared to other sexualities like bisexuality, homosexuality, and heterosexuality, asexuality is rarely discussed or portrayed in the media.

One of the only accurate asexual portrayals in recent television history is that of Todd Chavez from Netflix's "BoJack Horseman." Other portrayals, like in "House," "The Big Bang Theory," and "Dexter" wrongly suggest asexual people are broken or confused.

That's why Benoit and other asexuality activists created International Asexuality Day, with its inaugural celebration this April 6.

"It's about celebration and solidarity as much as it's about education and advocacy, with a particular emphasis on [asexual] communities outside of the UK and the US," Benoit told Insider, adding that the asexual community also celebrates Ace Week each year in October. ("Ace" is a term for a person who is asexual.)

Asexuality exists on a spectrum​

Like all xesual orientations, asexuality exists on a spectrum.

Some asexual people experience slight xesual attraction, while others experience none, according to the Trevor Project. There are also asexual folks who identify as demisexual because they feel xesual attraction only after developing emotional connections with another person.

Additionally, asexual people may feel romantic attractions to certain people despite a lack of xesual attraction. Terms like "biromatic," which means you're romantically attracted to both genders, or "homoromantic" for feeling romantic attraction to only the same gender, are used to describe those sexualities, according to the Trevor Project.

It's also possible for an asexual person to be aromantic, or lack romantic attraction to others, Benoit told Insider.

Asexuality isn't the same thing as celibacy​

It's a common misconception that asexual people avoid xes for lifestyle reasons, and that it's a synonym for celibacy.

While celibacy is a choice some people make in spite of their xesual urges, asexual people have little to no urge to act xesually towards another person and, "It's just the way we are," Benoit previously told Teen Vogue.

"Many people tend to assume that asexual people are just innocent or don't know what they're missing out on. This is absolutely untrue. We aren't broken, we aren't naive, and we aren't just waiting for the right person," Addie Orr, a student at University of Alabama told GLAAD.

Asexual people can have successful romantic relationships​

It's also a myth that all asexual people can't hold, or don't want, romantic relationships.

Though that may be the case for some, there are plenty of asexual people who crave romantic connections, according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
If I'm honest, I don't really care. Why does the world owe everyone the favour of 'understanding' them when it comes to anything? For me, I'm pretty much 'get over yourself'- you're not nearly as special as you think you are, no matter how you dress it up.
 

Auraliea

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Just some thoughts, I'm sure the OP did not make this to draw attention in a "hey look at me" kind of way. I think they wanted to make a space for people who feel this way and for informative purposes. A lot of people struggle with xesual identity and this is no different. It helps to know that there are a decent amount of others out there who feel similarly so you don't feel so alone and weird because you're not doing what the general population considers "normal" or what they think you should be doing.
 

soufully

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I experience xesual desire but it ebbs and flows. I've gone through periods of not feeling much of anything for anybody. The last few days I haven't felt nothing. I'll tell ya, it's easier to focus on work.
 

PaulAtreides

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Are there degrees to it? What if you do feel xesual attraction but it's only to a select few? & it's not romantic based either. I've only loved one person but I have felt xesual attraction to men I don't even know so I don't think demisexual works.
 

SarahCameron

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Are there degrees to it? What if you do feel xesual attraction but it's only to a select few? & it's not romantic based either. I've only loved one person but I have felt xesual attraction to men I don't even know so I don't think demisexual works.

there are varying degrees of asexuality. there are different types and degrees.
 

Gingerale888

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Asexuality isn't an actual xesual orientation. By its definition, it's a lack of xesual attraction. xesual orientation is based on xesual attraction.

So it's the opposite of xesual attractions. Also you can't belong to two, or multiple xesual orientations at the same time, and since asexuals typically will claim attractions based on Romantic or semi xesual attractions as gay, straight, or bi, so it's not a xesual orientation in and of itself. They sorta get a pass at using a Romantic non xesual overlay to claim gay, straight or bi, because it's the easiest way to explain who they are attracted to for companionship.

I think a lot of ppl are confused by this and there are likely many variables. a lot of ppl are just either trying to force inclusion into spaces and rewrite the meaning of terms so they can fit, or are outright making up things.
 

CocoaButter9

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I genuinely don't understand how asexuality is now counted as a "xesual orientation." Isn't asexuality simply a lack of libido? There are so-called "asexuals" who, despite the lack of xesual desire, are still interested in people romantically, etc. These people obviously have a xes, so you are still either homo-, hetero-, or bisexual. xesual refers to xes for a reason, and I'm not talking about coitus.
 

PrinceNelson

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I genuinely don't understand how asexuality is now counted as a "xesual orientation." Isn't asexuality simply a lack of libido? There are so-called "asexuals" who, despite the lack of xesual desire, are still interested in people romantically, etc. These people obviously have a xes, so you are still either homo-, hetero-, or bisexual. xesual refers to xes for a reason, and I'm not talking about coitus.

It's not a lack of libido. They have a xes drive and masturbate or have xes, they're just not attracted to any gender xesually.
 

SarahCameron

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I genuinely don't understand how asexuality is now counted as a "xesual orientation." Isn't asexuality simply a lack of libido? There are so-called "asexuals" who, despite the lack of xesual desire, are still interested in people romantically, etc. These people obviously have a xes, so you are still either homo-, hetero-, or bisexual. xesual refers to xes for a reason, and I'm not talking about coitus.

u can be asexual/ace spectrum and in a relationship and still be asexual/ace spectrum.

asexuals can be of any sexuality btw..
 

Bad Streets

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What about being aromantic, is this a thing ?
 

Auraliea

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Here is a survey to help further understand the general beliefs and understandings of Asexuality and the gray area in between. This is a good opportunity for research and promoting more awareness about these orientations. I wanted to post it here for anyone who may be interested.
 

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