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Being Mary Jane Season 3, Episode 3 - Sparrow (10/27/2015)

Dorothy Zbornak

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So MJ who was recovering from an accident, had to have facial reconstructive surgery, dealing with a blackmailing looney and trying to save her job is partly to blame for Lisa taking her own life? Miss me with that mess. MJ is a lot of things but ain't nobody kill Lisa but lisa. MJ is not superwoman, she is allowed to be angry at Lisa. All of a sudden cos she killed herself, y'all are forgetting what a trifling friend Lisa was? Shieeeeit!

Exactly, not to mention her family issues. MJ already said how no one calls her just to say hi and how are you, only to ask for something
 

Dorothy Zbornak

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This episode really hit home for me and i've never ever shared this with anyone before (not even my mother) but I was molested by several people as a child. It made me a really really promiscuous child and for a time i actually thought i liked it. It's really hard to admit tbh because for the longest time i blamed myself for being so precocious as a child and I didn't even realise how much it affected my life until my bulimia started getting out of hand and I had to see a psychiatrist and she made me see how things that occurred in my childhood, things that I thought I had gotten over or that i just couldn't see affecting me now, had been affecting various aspects of my life for many years now. Not just my relationships with men and women, but also my friendships, my relationship with food and one of the main causes for my social anxiety and the main reason why i am so guarded and untrusting of everyone and why I always seem to believe that anyone who wants to associate with me has an ulterior motive and is just trying to use me to get something else. My greatest fear is being used. I know this isn't therapy alley and it's just a tv show but reading about everyone else's experiences has made me want to come to terms with my own truth. Maybe one day I will get the courage to actually say it out loud, especially to my family.

You should try writing a letter
 

Dorothy Zbornak

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The part when MJ said when she goes gets coffee and the barista asked her how she is is soooo true.

during my depression , when people ask me how I am , I lie and say "fine"

then they get mad that I lied and should've kept it real with them

then when you keep it real you are "a burden, miserable, why you always got to be sad"

its a cycle.

it takes a true support system and a GOOOOD therapist to really truly heal the pain.


im a Christian but I hate how the black community forces us to just put things in Gods hands. I'm like ugh so you're totally accepting the fact that your brother raped your niece? And you want your niece to bury that pain while your brother walks free?


That is why Im a firm believer in pastors getting a pastoral counseling degree
 

Dorothy Zbornak

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it was my understanding that MJ didn't know Lisa liked him like that...she never knew how deep those feelings were. Lisa should have kept it real instead of just fµck!ng around with him behind her back when they were off.

However, MJ was wrong as hell when Lisa came to her house. She knew Lisa was rocky and that's not how you SPEAK to friends that you claim to have loved or cared for at one point in time. She went ALL the way in about her issues like "i'm sorry your dad molested you and i'm sorry my life is awesome and yours sucks."

That sh!t was fµcked up and low.

She definitely didnt say that. She said she loved her, and she was sorry she couldnt see how much she was hurting and that she was also depressed
 

zaramel

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I finally got to watch this episode! I love this show! Touching real issues and showing light. This episode was so touching I cried!
 

ICUWatchinMe

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Is it bad that I'm hoping something bad happens to the David character?

I know soooo many selfish ass males like him who walka round think of only self.
 

dixonpratt

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Mary Jane's weave looks like it hurt in this episode.

I can't explain it, maybe it's the parts?
 

dixonpratt

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I'm still trying to understand why David is still around to cause any hurt.

I like the character the first season, but after he got married and had the baby, I didn't see why MJ or Lisa still pined over him.
 

CA Girl

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Just finished watching the episode: VERY POWERFUL

Lisa's step dad should've kept his sorry ass at home.

I doubt if Lisa's mother knew what was going on because of her reaction when Mary Jane exposed him.

Lisa's brother is going to kill him.
 

Tamyka

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she definitely knew...her reaction was in response to the exposure not the rape
Just finished watching the episode: VERY POWERFUL

Lisa's step dad should've kept his sorry ass at home.

I doubt if Lisa's mother knew what was going on because of her reaction when Mary Jane exposed him.

Lisa's brother is going to kill him.
 

THE GREAT 1

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she definitely knew...her reaction was in response to the exposure not the rape
Exactly...

she knew...didn't you hear her tell MJ that they had worked through all of that...smh.

And the father had the nerve to call Lisa a bipolar who exaggerated. It's widely known that childhood abuse often results in adult mental illness.

i wonder was that the brother's bio dad?
 

ICUWatchinMe

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Just finished watching the episode: VERY POWERFUL

Lisa's step dad should've kept his sorry ass at home.

I doubt if Lisa's mother knew what was going on because of her reaction when Mary Jane exposed him.

Lisa's brother is going to kill him.

Oh her mother knew 100%. Trust me, the mama is like all these other weak minded b!tches who are so pressed to have a warm d*ck in their lives, they will put their own child's well being at risk just to say "My HUSband", "My man", "I'm Mrs." all while their child is suffering in silence because the child has been accused of having an "overacting imagination", "bipolar", "out of control", "crazy" etc.

I know this is just a show but this episode is 100% reflective of the Ugly Truths that plague the black community. We allow these monsters to hurt our children with impunity and punish the child, protecting the monsters while leaving the child vulnerable. It's a sick cycle.
 

Itiswhatitis85

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I'm still trying to understand why David is still around to cause any hurt.

I like the character the first season, but after he got married and had the baby, I didn't see why MJ or Lisa still pined over him.

David is not married to that white woman (Ana), but they are still suppose to be having a baby. Also it was implied towards the end of last season that may not even be together anymore.
 

TonyaMore

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She definitely didnt say that. She said she loved her, and she was sorry she couldnt see how much she was hurting and that she was also depressed

she didn't say what? prior to the statement of I love you and I can see you are hurting, she went IN on Lisa and she did say "I'm sorry this happened to you, I;m sorry that happened to you..." she went through everything that went wrong in her life and THEN said "i'm sorry my life was like this..." so after she trashed her she then said I love you blah blah blah...but Lisa wasn't even listening to that...the first 3 lines were all that she heard and that part was fµcked up.
 

BreannaBarnes

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This was such a hard episode for me to watch, and I'll probably never rewatch it. I've attempted and contemplated suicide many times before age 18. I still suffer from depression to this day from past hurt.
 

Raqijjjjj

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This is honestly giving "How To Get Away With Murder" a run for its money on being my favorite show. I'm highly impressed how the writers are gathering such a cohesive yet realistic spin on how life can be. It is simply beautiful to see two leading black actresses express life in such a profound moment for us. We are being told in such different layers that it makes me feel proud to be black. I just love it! Our time is beginning again and it is massive that we can not be ignored.
 

MsAChase

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This was such a hard episode for me to watch, and I'll probably never rewatch it. I've attempted and contemplated suicide many times before age 18. I still suffer from depression to this day from past hurt.


It hit close to home for me as well. I hope you are doing better today. <3
 

AutumnShadow

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Exactly...

she knew...didn't you hear her tell MJ that they had worked through all of that...smh.

And the father had the nerve to call Lisa a bipolar who exaggerated. It's widely known that childhood abuse often results in adult mental illness.

i wonder was that the brother's bio dad?

I worked with an organization that dealt with women who were in jail and you would be surprised at the number of women who fight addictions, promiscuity, abusive relationships, etc because they don't know how to handle and deal with childhood traumas. Abusive homes, being xesually and physically abused, being ignored and neglected. So many are quick to judge without even wondering or thinking about what could have led them to where they are. They just take their pain and bury it & stuff it and hold on to it and nurture it. Working with that group was an eye opening experience
 

SadSadSong

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I'm watching the episode now. Mary Jane has the most draining life LAWD. Not even trying to sound funny but I can't deal. Lisa's story makes me sad, just too tragic.
 

originalwharris

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Jeez - This is the first episode I've watched in over a month and it's after I found out about a friend's possible suicide.
 

FebruaryAmor

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I think whenever someone commits suicide or attempts to.. People always rally together and say "omg we need to do better. We should've been there. That person seemed like they were fine. I wish they would've spoke to me"

its all bµllsh!t.

i truly don't care who reads this if they try to use it against me in future posts.

when my girl texts me today , "hey girl how's everything?!" Am I suppose to ruin her hype and mood by saying "ugh I feel suicidal and I've been crying all day"

I've kept it real before with my friends. Not as blunt but I let it be known I wasn't feeling great. This is what happens. They don't contact you as often. Why? Because it's uncomfortable to them. And I don't blame them.

but the kicker is when something does happen to that friend and everyone starts spewing out those phrases I mentioned up at the top. No you weren't there. No you don't wish we told you. Stop fµck!ng lying.


:(
 

ALLOFTHIS

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I think whenever someone commits suicide or attempts to.. People always rally together and say "omg we need to do better. We should've been there. That person seemed like they were fine. I wish they would've spoke to me"

its all bµllsh!t.

i truly don't care who reads this if they try to use it against me in future posts.

when my girl texts me today , "hey girl how's everything?!" Am I suppose to ruin her hype and mood by saying "ugh I feel suicidal and I've been crying all day"

I've kept it real before with my friends. Not as blunt but I let it be known I wasn't feeling great. This is what happens. They don't contact you as often. Why? Because it's uncomfortable to them. And I don't blame them.

but the kicker is when something does happen to that friend and everyone starts spewing out those phrases I mentioned up at the top. No you weren't there. No you don't wish we told you. Stop fµck!ng lying.


:(

I went through a really trying time that was known by many and out of all parties, about 10 people, only three had my back. Two being my mother and aunt. I don't think my friends meant to do it but they also didn't check on me.

I've let them go but I am able to move on as I make sense of it. I'm glad I read this.

NOW, does this thread discuss MJ's drinking in the accident?
 

shampoona

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It's taken me several weeks to finally push myself to watch this entire episode because it hit a nerve with me...took so long to the point by the time I got around to it it wasnt on OnDemand anymore. It was so real...from the foam coming from Lisa's mouth to MJ 'setting her friend' free at the end when it came to her 'truth'.

It was like this dark looming cloud that I had to push through in order to catch up with the rest of this season but I think I'm gonna try and watch Black-ish or something lighter and catch up on the rest of BMJ over the weekend. I'm feeling heavy right now.
 

OctoberDaye

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I think whenever someone commits suicide or attempts to.. People always rally together and say "omg we need to do better. We should've been there. That person seemed like they were fine. I wish they would've spoke to me"

its all bµllsh!t.

i truly don't care who reads this if they try to use it against me in future posts.

when my girl texts me today , "hey girl how's everything?!" Am I suppose to ruin her hype and mood by saying "ugh I feel suicidal and I've been crying all day"

I've kept it real before with my friends. Not as blunt but I let it be known I wasn't feeling great. This is what happens. They don't contact you as often. Why? Because it's uncomfortable to them. And I don't blame them.

but the kicker is when something does happen to that friend and everyone starts spewing out those phrases I mentioned up at the top. No you weren't there. No you don't wish we told you. Stop fµck!ng lying.



:(

I just got finished reading this thread and so many great posts have already said most of what I was gonna say.

I'm one of those people who took a break from this show after season 2. In fact I didn't finish the last 3 episodes of season 2 until yesterday. I've been catching up on Netflix.

You're absolutely right it is bµllsh!t. People don't want to hear about other people's problems. Every time I tried to tell people when I was having a hard time mentally. They would treat me like I was whining and tell me to get over it or allude to me being depressed because I chose to be. Or act like I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.

But the worst thing that people did was trivialize my problems. Say things like "You've got a roof over your head and at least you're not living paycheck to paycheck." I needed someone to listen, but people think it's okay to tell someone that they have no reason to be upset or stressed about certain things because others have it worse. I was bullied throughout most of my school years and it has forever changed how I interact with people. I don't have friends and people I would open up too in the past just shut me down anyway. I don't tell people in my day to day life sh!t. I always say "I'm fine" because experience has taught that that's what people want to hear. Sure they say things like "If you ever need anything call me." But they don't mean it. Because when you reach out they make you feel like sh!t. They do this because everyone has problems and a lot of people don't want to be burdened by other people's problem even when they say they do. You start telling them depressing stuff and they'll call you a killjoy, a Debbie Downer or just plain old negative. I'm over it.
 

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