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Being overweight

EmpressN

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No! Every pot has a lid. The only women that have issues pulling men are the ones with low selfesteem.

This topic gets brought up all the damn time. Everyone's going to come in here and swear up and down you have to be rail thin to get a mans attention. That's a lie.

Any woman that loves herself completely. From head to toe ,inside out can attract a quality man. The energy you give off is what draws people to you. Your aura. If you have an unhealthy view of yourself you will attract people that take advantage of that.
 

NZURI

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Don't read those men's comments. Most of them are bigger than the women they complain about plus ugly and broke. Their opinion is as worthless as they are.

Most of the country is overweight and obese, so there are lots of married women of all sizes.

Losing weight may broaden your options, and improve your health, but it's better to avoid shallow, misogynistic men. If weight is a buffer for those fools, it's probably better to keep it.

But if you are morbidly obese, it is better to lose weight for your own sake first and foremost.
 

PinkGaloree

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I’ve never had trouble with getting a man but I’ve noticed for lot big women a lot of them settle for any man they can get ,and I also don’t thinks it’s good that men say they love thick women because a lot women are getting fat and thick mixed up. And yes some men are not that shallow but I don’t really know a lot of plus size women who are married happily they are more the provider then there man is
 

CoastalElite

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I’m a size 12/14 ( I used to be a 4 in my 20s) but luckily an hourglass so I carry the weight well. I just have a lil
Belly ugh ..I do wanna shoot back down to an 8 tho. Wearing clothes that compliment me make me feel more confident. I have no trouble getting men
 

PinkGaloree

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I’ve always been big girl I remover in elementary school I get picked on because of my size but when I got older I grew more into my body I have recently lost weight and notice more men try to talk to me now
 

sankofaa__

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i've been big since birth and carry excess weight in my upper body (the WORST). truth be told, it's not hard to attract men because they're usually drawn to my personality but i get the sense that i'd have a lot more interest if i wasn't heavy.

years ago, i was totally head over heels for a dude who really cared for me and wanted to be with me all the time but didn't want to make it official because he was afraid of what other people would think. even though it was so long ago, that type of sh!t really messed with my head and made me question myself. even now, when things go south with a guy, i can't help but think "this wouldn't be happening if i was thinner". not sure how true that actually is.

my best friend lost a lot of weight last year and was getting more action. i asked her if she thought the dudes she'd been with would still have gone for her when she was bigger and said no, especially because she'd met one of the dudes before and he had no interest. i also get the sense that i likely won't attract the type of dude i want until i lose weight. we'll see.
 

EmpressN

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I’ve never had trouble with getting a man but I’ve noticed for lot big women a lot of them settle for any man they can get ,and I also don’t thinks it’s good that men say they love thick women because a lot women are getting fat and thick mixed up. And yes some men are not that shallow but I don’t really know a lot of plus size women who are married happily they are more the provider then there man is


Those women have low selfesteem. A woman doesn't have to be overweight for a man to take advantage of her.

Plenty of thinner women in sh!tty marriages where they are the providers. This isn't an obese woman thing, it's a low selfesteem, low sense of self worth issue. I don't put much stock into what men think. They have a tendency to lie and if they're broke forget about it.
 

Sayywhat

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I am not obese but if you're pretty, you're pretty. You shouldn't worry about being perfect to get a guy because that means that you'll be expected to be perfect. That's not realistic. Even "perfect" women age, gain weight - etc. You need someone who will appreciate you as you are
 

Tigerforge

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I was much heavier at one point in my life than I am now but my weight didn’t didn’t directly take a toll on my love life. It didn’t stop guys from coming up to me asking for my number, friends hooking me up with people etc.

What did take a toll on my love life was my lack of self confidence because of my weight. My self-esteem ruined any potential relationships I could have had and I suffered for it.
 

PinkGaloree

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I was much heavier at one point in my life than I am now but my weight didn’t didn’t directly take a toll on my love life. It didn’t stop guys from coming up to me asking for my number, friends hooking me up with people etc.

What did take a toll on my love life was my lack of self confidence because of my weight. My self-esteem ruined any potential relationships I could have had and I suffered for it.



I love everything you said that is facts!!
 

YoungBougieBlac

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Of course it would effect your love life in the sense that if you’re overweight a smaller pool of men will be attracted to you, regardless of your personality/confidence but that doesn’t mean no men will like u, just less men than people with better bodies
 

MainMane

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Different strokes for different folks, but don’t ever get gassed up cuz a dude might sleep with you if you overweight. That don’t mean anything
 

Coconochanel

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It absolutely does. I'm skinny, but maintain my weight via the keto diet so I'm part of a lot of FB groups about it. Most of the women on there are quite big and lose insane amounts of weight and describe how drastically their lives change. Both men and women are more attractive in the dating market once they slim down.

Honestly, weight makes a huge difference in your face and people's overall perceptions of you. I find people who lose weight at a good pace tend to look even a decade younger than they did when they were fat. They look more vibrant/happy, too...and that's attractive!
 

JustKeepin

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No. I feel like since i have gotten fatter i went from 130lbs to 190lbs over 2 years, i get more unwanted attention from men. The men seem relatively normal though. Not the cat calling creeps that harrassed me when im at my normal weight. I was at home depot and had a man jump out of his truck to help me put my stuff in my trunk. He asked if i had a man, i said yes he kissed my hand, said he was a lucky man and left. I feel like a bloated disgusting trash, but everyone says i look great. All i do is wear stretchy black pants, black, boots and large floral shirts that covers my gut and fat arms. I don't even upkeep myself anymore. I don't pluck my eyebrows, shave, or wear makeup. I feel like someones old head Auntie who always has their glasses on their nose.

When im at my normal weight i intimidate the sh!t out of men. Most of them assume I'm already taken or married and leave me the hell alone. But nnw at a heavier weight i have men trying to shoot their shot all the time. It makes me feel even worse honestly. I feel so gross and just not myself.
 

Inquistive_1314

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Do you ladies think being overweight or obese has put a toll on your love life?Such as men finding you attractive because men are visual first before they look into personality.I was reading on the men blogs what men thought of plus size women and the comments I read were very rude and horrific.

No, I’ve never had any issues. From what I have experienced, the opinions of men online versus in real life are not the same. Some of these guys on these forums don’t even get any ass in the first place or look like toads
 

Slurpee

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I cannot speak for all bigger woman but I have never really had a problem in the love department especially when it comes to quality men. I didn't start dating until I got into college and I have attracted a lot of quality suitors. I think being overweight when I was younger gave me the eye to know who was trash and who wasn't. My mom always told me if I didn't lose weight I will never get married or wont have a quality man.

I can honestly say that her saying that only made me vet the men who entered my life more. I don't go through the dating horror stories that my slim friends go through either. There is someone for everyone! In talking to some of the men who are interested in me they always say they like how I dress and how confident I am in my body. I still workout, try to eat the best I can which in turn helps me to keep up with them.

I am also an hourglass shape. I have lost 100 pounds in the past and gained it back unfortunately because I lost it the wrong way. I am working on losing weight again for my health. I am a size 22 jean, and 18 on top. I carry most of my weight in my thighs and hips.

A lot of people around me used to be shocked with the kinds of men who would pursue me because they expect me the fat friend to settle or end up with a bum. I am smart, in college and confident. I live in the DC area so I think location might play a role in it Im not sure.

This is soo long hahaha, I just hate the narrative that being overweight = horrible romantic life.
 

Eunomia

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I am overweight by definition (5' & 143 lbs) but the weight is distributed rather nicely so I haven't had much problem attracting men, and I'm even in a relationship now. I wholeheartedly believe that if I didn't carry my weight nicely my love life would suffer and I would receive very minimal male attention. Most men are just not attracted to women who LOOK overweight/obese, but not to say that there aren't men out there who do.
 

gracie13

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No. I feel like since i have gotten fatter i went from 130lbs to 190lbs over 2 years, i get more unwanted attention from men. The men seem relatively normal though. Not the cat calling creeps that harrassed me when im at my normal weight. I was at home depot and had a man jump out of his truck to help me put my stuff in my trunk. He asked if i had a man, i said yes he kissed my hand, said he was a lucky man and left. I feel like a bloated disgusting trash, but everyone says i look great. All i do is wear stretchy black pants, black, boots and large floral shirts that covers my gut and fat arms. I don't even upkeep myself anymore. I don't pluck my eyebrows, shave, or wear makeup. I feel like someones old head Auntie who always has their glasses on their nose.

When im at my normal weight i intimidate the sh!t out of men. Most of them assume I'm already taken or married and leave me the hell alone. But nnw at a heavier weight i have men trying to shoot their shot all the time. It makes me feel even worse honestly. I feel so gross and just not myself.


How tall are you? And are you a pear or hourglass shape?
 

gracie13

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I cannot speak for all bigger woman but I have never really had a problem in the love department especially when it comes to quality men. I didn't start dating until I got into college and I have attracted a lot of quality suitors. I think being overweight when I was younger gave me the eye to know who was trash and who wasn't. My mom always told me if I didn't lose weight I will never get married or wont have a quality man.

I can honestly say that her saying that only made me vet the men who entered my life more. I don't go through the dating horror stories that my slim friends go through either. There is someone for everyone! In talking to some of the men who are interested in me they always say they like how I dress and how confident I am in my body. I still workout, try to eat the best I can which in turn helps me to keep up with them.

I am also an hourglass shape. I have lost 100 pounds in the past and gained it back unfortunately because I lost it the wrong way. I am working on losing weight again for my health. I am a size 22 jean, and 18 on top. I carry most of my weight in my thighs and hips.

A lot of people around me used to be shocked with the kinds of men who would pursue me because they expect me the fat friend to settle or end up with a bum. I am smart, in college and confident. I live in the DC area so I think location might play a role in it Im not sure.

This is soo long hahaha, I just hate the narrative that being overweight = horrible romantic life.


I think the issue is more shape!.

I know tons of overweight women whole pull but they are pear or hourglass shapes.
 

Slurpee

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I think the issue is more shape!.

I know tons of overweight women whole pull but they are pear or hourglass shapes.

I agree. The common factor seems to be shape and proportions. In talking to some other plus size women, there is a belief that slim faces get more of an advantage as well.
 

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I’m pretty tall so I carry my weight well but I’m a size 12 before my daughter I was a 8/10. Always had a butt, boobs and thighs but now I got some belly too. I’ve definitely noticed a change in regards to guys trying to bag in the street but I think it’s because I don’t put as much effort into getting dolled up since I’ve been with my man for 5 years and have a toddler. I do notice my bigger friends are constantly having issues with guys wanting to sleep with them but when the conversation turns to relationships the guys just ghost them.

I personally feel like men love women who love themselves. When you dress and act frumpy men can see that and while some feed off of that and use it to manipulate a woman’s feelings, it pushes the others away. I think as long as you love yourself and are working towards a healthier lifestyle (if that’s what you want) everything else will fall into place.
 

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Sorry to say it, but as a man, especially a man who've always had options with women, the obese woman was not an option. My suggestion though would be to get healthier for yourself first and this can lead to better confidence.

Men are visual like you said, and if he is a man with many options, he is going to go for what he really wants. Most men (not all) want a fit and attractive woman. That's just reality.
 

The Builder

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Do you ladies think being overweight or obese has put a toll on your love life?Such as men finding you attractive because men are visual first before they look into personality.I was reading on the men blogs what men thought of plus size women and the comments I read were very rude and horrific.

You can find a good dude at any weight if you have a good personality and confidence and wear clothes that compliment you, but you will have more suitors if you are of a healthy weight.

A fat woman is to a man what a broke man is to a woman-usually seen as unattractive although there are exceptions. Just keeping it real.
 
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Gull

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The only opinions that should matter is if it's from someone you respect, want in your life, or has impact on your life...

All else is just noise...
 

MrMagnificent89

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LSA is never honest. Slimmer have more options. Also more options does not mean you are going to pick men with good character traits which is all it comes down to. Anyways there are bigger man out there so it shouldn't be a problem at all. Also if you gain weight and it goes in desirable places, a lot of men aren't going to care much.
 

gmmlaw

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LSA is never honest. Slimmer have more options. Also more options does not mean you are going to pick men with good character traits which is all it comes down to. Anyways there are bigger man out there so it shouldn't be a problem at all. Also if you gain weight and it goes in desirable places, a lot of men aren't going to care much.

Thank you for saying this, lol. LSA will have you out here looking crazy sometimes. This is not to say that you have to be thin to get a man. That's not true. But you will have way more options if you are fit rather than overweight. And we all know that more options gives you a greater chance of success. I lost twenty pounds at the beginning of the year and it made such a difference in the attention i get.
 

Tangier

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What I'd like to know is why LSA likes to pretend that women aren't visual and that most fat men got options tho? My older sister has a few obese male friends who got decent jobs and they can't find girlfriends to save their lives. Some of them have never dated once in their lives.
 

FridaKahlo

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...

years ago, i was totally head over heels for a dude who really cared for me and wanted to be with me all the time but didn't want to make it official because he was afraid of what other people would think. even though it was so long ago, that type of sh!t really messed with my head and made me question myself. even now, when things go south with a guy, i can't help but think "this wouldn't be happening if i was thinner". not sure how true that actually is...
He didn't really care for you in the way that you deserved to be cared for. I am not saying this to hurt you. I am saying this to help you.

Release the hurt and shame because you are only grieving over a shallow man that didn't love you right. The man who loves you for you will be proud to be seen with you. Don't carry this man's shame any longer.

Women with your body type get married to men who love and adore them. Don't waste your emotions on a man who wasn't the right man for you.
 

sankofaa__

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He didn't really care for you in the way that you deserved to be cared for. I am not saying this to hurt you. I am saying this to help you.

Release the hurt and shame because you are only grieving over a shallow man that didn't love you right. The man who loves you for you will be proud to be seen with you. Don't carry this man's shame any longer.

Women with your body type get married to men who love and adore them. Don't waste your emotions on a man who wasn't the right man for you.
i appreciate the kind words, sis. that was over 10 years ago back in high school, i haven't spoken to that guy in ages. but it was my first real interaction with "romance" as a bigger woman, which is why i mentioned it. i've since moved on (it took a long time though!)
 

sumpthinspec02

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I'm fat and no one wants me. I believe that shape matters. Not having a gut and being firm instead of jiggly helps. Also, dressing nice and taking care of yourself. You can be overweight and not look it.

But, looking fat is death even if you dress nice, take care of yourself and have confidence. Most people assume that if you're fat you don't have self esteem, don't care about yourself, and should be happy with any old thing.
 

Keane

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Be the best you. Do what makes you feel the healthiest and happiest. That energy will attract the right people.

A lot of the insecurities we have aren’t typically deal breakers or factors for potential mates.
 

THEDARKVIXEN

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I think the issue is more shape!.

I know tons of overweight women whole pull but they are pear or hourglass shapes.

Sorry love, I didnt mean to groan.

And I agree. Shape plays a factor too. I have an hourglass shape now at 5'3"/140.

I actually received more attention from men when I gained weight. When I was smaller people always mistook me for a kid lol.
 

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