incogneato
No face, no case.
Hey y'all, this a rant to get things off my chest and to seek advice from people suffering with bipolar/ Schizophrenia or people taking care of loved ones in the same condition.
My brother had his first official psychotic break on the other side of the country a week ago. Thank God he checked himself in when the voices were telling him to take action that could have ended his life. He was admitted to mental hospital, but unfortunately he discharged only 3-4 days in after starting medication. I don't think there was enough time for official diagnosis but the doctors were leaning between Schizophrenia and bipolar.
From a young age he was a difficult but very sweet child. Hyperactive and unable to focus he got diagnosed with Adhd. From his teens through adulthood things got worse- he was defiant, aggressive, impulsive, selfish and manipulative. He started getting involved in crimes and would rotate between abusing marijuana, cigarettes, alcohol, and xes. He wanted to be seen as independent and would dissappear for months. When he wanted something from us, he would find a way to slide back in.
This past year or so his behaviors have spiraled out of control. Unable to keep a job for more than a week, having nice conversation one minute then screaming about some imperceived slight in the middle of the night, making impossible plans, etc.
My brother is now living with my family as he was homeless (we didn't even even know where he was two weeks ago). This whole time we thought his behaviors were due to his user personality, and drug abuse, but now we know these were signs of mental illness/ mania.
We've worked so hard to save the life of my brother over the years, but since it seemed that we wanted him to do well more than he wanted to we were losing faith. Just when we thought we could administer tough love so he could stand on his own two feet, we have this revelation which will demand the utmost patience and understanding from us.
The idea that he might have been suffering alone hurts my heart, but we still need to navigate how to set up healthy boundaries so he does not use mental illness as a pass to do things that will inhibit his recovery.
He wants to keep smoking weed, and I'm worried what will happen if he keeps skipping his prescribed medication. He seemed receptive to getting help and therapy when he was out of state, but his mood changes so rapidly I don't know what to expect even today.
LSA if you saw how he was years before and the way he is now, you would burst into tears. His face goes slack mid conversation, and none of his emotions reaches his eyes anymore. His thoughts are disorganized and he interrupts himself to start new trains of thought. He tries to convince us and himself he's doing fine mid speech and gets into moods of severe paranoia. My brother is so so bright and it's hard to see him like this.
To add on top of this, we have a traditional African household. There are little to no conversations about mental health here. There was very little sympathy to my mom who suffered with depression due to an injury and loss of work. When my parents called back home to inquire about behaviors similar to my brother's in the gene pool, erratic traits were brushed aside under alcoholism or treated as one off incidents isolated to that one family member.
I have my own place out of town and would rotate between there and living at home with my family since I could work from home. I despise being at home for more than a few weeks at a time because my dad makes the environment so toxic, honestly I don't know how my mom has been able to deal with that after all of these years.
Since this is an all hands on deck effort, I won't be able to retreat to my place out of town when things get too difficult to handle.
A lot of dreams have been cut short due to the pandemic, and now with my brother's situation this could easily be another year of life on hold. We got the emergency call as I was preparing for my first vacation since lockdown, with the whole point of getting away from the stress and responsibility of my dysfunctional family. Life has a way of being funny like that I suppose.
Above all else, I am grateful that my brother is alive. I'm a bit of an obsessive researcher, so I hope picking up these books will help equip myself and my family as we start this long journey
My brother had his first official psychotic break on the other side of the country a week ago. Thank God he checked himself in when the voices were telling him to take action that could have ended his life. He was admitted to mental hospital, but unfortunately he discharged only 3-4 days in after starting medication. I don't think there was enough time for official diagnosis but the doctors were leaning between Schizophrenia and bipolar.
From a young age he was a difficult but very sweet child. Hyperactive and unable to focus he got diagnosed with Adhd. From his teens through adulthood things got worse- he was defiant, aggressive, impulsive, selfish and manipulative. He started getting involved in crimes and would rotate between abusing marijuana, cigarettes, alcohol, and xes. He wanted to be seen as independent and would dissappear for months. When he wanted something from us, he would find a way to slide back in.
This past year or so his behaviors have spiraled out of control. Unable to keep a job for more than a week, having nice conversation one minute then screaming about some imperceived slight in the middle of the night, making impossible plans, etc.
My brother is now living with my family as he was homeless (we didn't even even know where he was two weeks ago). This whole time we thought his behaviors were due to his user personality, and drug abuse, but now we know these were signs of mental illness/ mania.
We've worked so hard to save the life of my brother over the years, but since it seemed that we wanted him to do well more than he wanted to we were losing faith. Just when we thought we could administer tough love so he could stand on his own two feet, we have this revelation which will demand the utmost patience and understanding from us.
The idea that he might have been suffering alone hurts my heart, but we still need to navigate how to set up healthy boundaries so he does not use mental illness as a pass to do things that will inhibit his recovery.
He wants to keep smoking weed, and I'm worried what will happen if he keeps skipping his prescribed medication. He seemed receptive to getting help and therapy when he was out of state, but his mood changes so rapidly I don't know what to expect even today.
LSA if you saw how he was years before and the way he is now, you would burst into tears. His face goes slack mid conversation, and none of his emotions reaches his eyes anymore. His thoughts are disorganized and he interrupts himself to start new trains of thought. He tries to convince us and himself he's doing fine mid speech and gets into moods of severe paranoia. My brother is so so bright and it's hard to see him like this.
To add on top of this, we have a traditional African household. There are little to no conversations about mental health here. There was very little sympathy to my mom who suffered with depression due to an injury and loss of work. When my parents called back home to inquire about behaviors similar to my brother's in the gene pool, erratic traits were brushed aside under alcoholism or treated as one off incidents isolated to that one family member.
I have my own place out of town and would rotate between there and living at home with my family since I could work from home. I despise being at home for more than a few weeks at a time because my dad makes the environment so toxic, honestly I don't know how my mom has been able to deal with that after all of these years.
Since this is an all hands on deck effort, I won't be able to retreat to my place out of town when things get too difficult to handle.
A lot of dreams have been cut short due to the pandemic, and now with my brother's situation this could easily be another year of life on hold. We got the emergency call as I was preparing for my first vacation since lockdown, with the whole point of getting away from the stress and responsibility of my dysfunctional family. Life has a way of being funny like that I suppose.
Above all else, I am grateful that my brother is alive. I'm a bit of an obsessive researcher, so I hope picking up these books will help equip myself and my family as we start this long journey
"The eldest daughter effect"- Lisette shuitemaker
"Surviving Schizophrenia, a family manual" e fuller Torrey
"The collected Schizophrenias: Essays"- esme weijun wang
"Living With Someone Who's Living with Bipolar Disorder: a practical guide for family, friends, and coworkers"- Chelsea Lowe
"It didn't start with you- how inherited family trauma shapes who we are and how to end the cycle"- mark Wolyn
"The bipolar survival guide, what you and your family need to know"- miklowitz
"Surviving Schizophrenia, a family manual" e fuller Torrey
"The collected Schizophrenias: Essays"- esme weijun wang
"Living With Someone Who's Living with Bipolar Disorder: a practical guide for family, friends, and coworkers"- Chelsea Lowe
"It didn't start with you- how inherited family trauma shapes who we are and how to end the cycle"- mark Wolyn
"The bipolar survival guide, what you and your family need to know"- miklowitz