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BM Made A Joke About WM Harassing Me

CocoaDream

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Y'all my black male manager made jokes about the WM at my job xesually harassing me. Remember the last thread about that creepy WM staring at me smile for a little too long? Well this man got bold and started stroking my hand, which made me extremely uncomfortable.

Well I told my manager about it and he just made jokes about the WHOLE situation. He said "well dont let his wife find out or she'll tried to get you up outta here!" Wtf? So it's my fault that her husband is a pervert? I also told him about that weird dude asking if I was from Africa, and talking about the Trail of Tears, and he just laughed.

I told him that this stuff is making me uncomfortable. The residents also complain about the dumbest things (I work in a gated community). I asked him am I really supposed to up with this just because they pay me? I asked him if they wanted me to start tap dancing am I supposed to do it?

Y'all I kid you not, my manager started tap dancing and laughing! Myself and my other black female colleague were disgusted! Also the same day this happen, that weird trail of tears dude came into the office, and I whispered to my manager that that was one of the men making me uncomfortable. He literally did nothing. I normally work alone, but today my manager and other colleague was there.

Since my other co-worker was there, she said she would check him in for me. Once she checked him in, she came back and told me that he made inappropriate jokes to her too. She said that he asked her does she rob banks because her last name is "Robinson". Dude really? Would he have asked a WW with the last Robinson that if her last name was Robinson? Guess what? My manager did NOTHING but laugh.

What should I do? I don't like this job, but I really can't be picky now especially during this pandemic. I'm trying to hold off until next year so I can finish school and get a better job, but idk how much of this non sense I can take. It makes me sick how my manager a BM is letting these WM disrespect me and thinking this is funny, but am I really surprised?
 

AlexaBrin

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Dang, I would try and look for a new job anyway. Maybe if harassment is going on, you can bypass your manager and go straight to HR?

Is the WM an Attending or Resident, cause then you might have trouble actually getting anything resolved? Idk, doesn't seem like you'd want to continue working there anyway so I'd try to def find somewhere new even if it is temp.
 
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Livingit88

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Touching you without your permission is not acceptable AT ALL. Your boss is a clown for laughing. Do you have a HR department? If not I would note down everything this man does that makes you uncomfortable. Never be alone with him.
 

CocoaDream

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Dang, I would try and let for a new job anyway. Maybe if harassment is going on, you can bypass your manager and go straight to HR?

Is the WM an Attending or Resident, cause then you might have trouble actually getting anything resolved. Idk, doesn't seem like you'd want to continue working there anyway so I'd try to def find somewhere new even if it is temp.
It's both. The one who touched me lives there, and the trail of tears dude cleans pools for the people who live there.
 

Mikhail Bakunin

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It's both. The one who touched me lives there, and the trail of tears dude cleans pools for the people who live there.

I see. I bet from your manager's POV he's thinking how difficult it would be to resolve this and doesn't bother to encourage you to report it or show sympathy because that would obligate him to do something about it.
 

CocoaDream

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I see. I bet from your manager's POV he's thinking how difficult it would be to resolve this and doesn't bother to encourage you to report it or show sympathy because that would obligate him to do something about it.
Yeah he's basically telling me since these people pay me, I have to let them do what they want to me/ do whatever they say even if it's beyond reason...
 

Mikhail Bakunin

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Yeah he's basically telling me since these people pay me, I have to let them do what they want to me/ do whatever they say even if it's beyond reason...

Right, he doesn't want to bring it upstairs because that makes him look bad. "You're supposed to deal with this sh!t on your own don't bring it to us".
 

Violet Trace

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You need to email him confirming that you spoke to him about the creepy co-worker, then go to HR or EEO, his job is in danger, since he blatantly blew off a xesual harassment situation. You can sue.
 

W I L L O W

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I honestly don't even know what to say cause this is bizarre. When you wrote some of your stories in this alley about those white dudes, it wasn't written in the serious form its written in now. I had no idea they were reaching pasts desk to touch you inappropriately. I agree with the other font about emailing your manager and taking it to HR. Also file an order against those white men who have been making racial and xesual remarks toward you while also abusing their "higher standing" against you. They know if you as a black woman came at them for touching you and saying crazy stuff, that they could just gaslight the situation. Especially since those men live in a high cost area.
 

CocoaDream

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I honestly don't even know what to say cause this is bizarre. When you wrote some of your stories in this alley about those white dudes, it wasn't written in the serious form its written in now. I had no idea they were reaching pasts desk to touch you inappropriately. I agree with the other font about emailing your manager and taking it to HR. Also file an order against those white men who have been making racial and xesual remarks toward you.
Because I wrote it off as WM being their weird and out of touch selves. It wasn't until Wednesday when that man touched me and asked my coworker who is also a good friend if she robs banks is when I drew the line.
 

W I L L O W

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Because I wrote it off as WM being their weird and out of touch selves. It wasn't until Wednesday when that man touched me and asked my coworker who is also a good friend if she robs banks is when I drew the line.
I understand! I also think this is important to note. I believe white men know they have a commodity for being into "odd" and "unusual things" , so when they say and do stuff, people write it off as the "typical weird white dude who is not used to leaving his own home" stereotype. One minute it's just laughs with them cause of weird conversations and then they escalate when no one around the victim clocks their behavior. I'm sure all of those men saw an imbalance between you/them and used it to an advantage. I also wouldn't doubt that there's a silent understanding between your boss and the men visiting the office over harassing you.

Your boss is also hiding behind his job being at stake. I don't doubt that if you did take this to hr, he'd mention his race and gender playing a part of why he didn't stand up for you as a boss. I am not sure how this will fair off, but hopefully the hr department aren't filled with jack@sses and will acknowledge your issue. No boss should use their physical identity to not do their job.
 

BonesNRoses

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It sounds like you have enough reason to do a constructive quit, which technically is termination because the employer is creating a hostile work environment. Document everything that took place at the job. If you have witnesses like you say you do see if they can give you a statement as well. If other coworkers are experiencing the same bs they can also do the same. You can file for unemployment. They'll want to know what the last straw for you was & what caused you to quit. I would wait for the creepy WM to do something else & quit immediately on the spot. My friend had to do a constructive quit & filed unemployment, which the employer contested. UI wanted to know what the last straw was & if she left immediately after it took place. Had she stuck around a while longer after the last incident she complained about it would have hurt her case. She ended up getting approved for unemployment.
Sorry you're going through this. These are real concerns. I know ppl like to dismiss BW when they're going through things. Time to put on some WW tears to get what you need. These men sound out of pocket & you shouldn't have to have a crying meltdown in order to be heard but go for the Oscar win when UI calls to verify your story. Good luck & walk with some mase!
 

DeafningSilence

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Take detailed notes of everything that has happened (along with any proof (emails), if there is any) and been said to you by both men. Take it to HR, and then document when it was given to them. If both men haven't been reprimanded/ if not fired, shortly after. Talk to a lawyer. You shouldn't have to work in that environment.

Also, keep all communication with both men to emails or with a third party present (if possible). If they try and talk to you in private, have your cell in your pocket on record.

It will always be your word against theirs, and because history has taught us. They will always believe him, unless you have proof you are telling the truth (and even then some will probably believe him, but at least the truth of the situation will be out there, and they can deal with the consequences that come later for not doing something).

I would also start looking for a new job.
 

Malware

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That's a crazy situation but, if you keep your emotions in check and come up with the right plan, this situation could end up being a nice financial blessing for you.

You just need to make sure you get undeniable proof of the men xesually harassing you, and proof of your manager disregarding it/joking about it.

This current social climate is very accommodating to xesual harassment lawsuits, so if play your cards right the odds are in your favor.

Bide your time, "play chess", make sure you run into the creepy wm so you can collect evidence of their creepy behavior, when you're around them "play dead" so they feel emboldened (I'm not saying let them hurt you, you know your limits, but the further they go the better for you)

Make sure you get everything on hidden cam/mic.

Do a lil research on the wm, make sure they have money, suing bums is pointless.

And get evidence on your manager, a competent lawyer, go to your local media with your vid evidence, then sue everyone.

But if you ain't built for that type of scheme, atleast go to human resources or your managers boss and get him fired so they can resolve the situation before that wm gets bold enough to hurt you.

Good luck.
 

Lexonfiyah

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Did you try HR? Honestly, if so and nothing’s been done, could you get them on camera doing this? I think them going viral on social media help them learn there lessons quicker.
 

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