incogneato
No face, no case.
I finished high school last year. I’ve had a sh!tty school experience since 12 years old that led to me having low self-esteem, depression, now anxiety.. I was in therapy specifically for this, but in the long run, it’s effective but it hasn’t been helping.
School is behind me, but it’s like my brain is stuck in school. I have become very “vain”, conscious and even obsessed with my appearance since I have the idea in my head that if I were pretty and looked like the popular girls, my friends wouldn’t have mistreated me & people wouldn’t disrespect me (idk, like feeling patronised, looked down upon and xesual harassment).
I know it’s not necessarily true because there were regular-looking (or not very pretty/very handsome) people in that group who weren’t treated badly. But idk.
I’m always having flashbacks to moments where I felt ashamed in school. Or fantasising about being back in school except being popular and ‘pretty’ and having a good time.
I’m planning on getting a nose job as soon as I can save up enough money. I know it’s bad, and I was insecure about my nose regardless; but I feel as though I’m doing it to finally be good enough for everybody in high school. Even though they obviously aren’t around to even see it.
I don’t know how I can even overcome this except accept reality and try to be as attractive as humanly possible. Like once I’m a knockout, I can finally pretend like they never even existed.
School is behind me, but it’s like my brain is stuck in school. I have become very “vain”, conscious and even obsessed with my appearance since I have the idea in my head that if I were pretty and looked like the popular girls, my friends wouldn’t have mistreated me & people wouldn’t disrespect me (idk, like feeling patronised, looked down upon and xesual harassment).
I know it’s not necessarily true because there were regular-looking (or not very pretty/very handsome) people in that group who weren’t treated badly. But idk.
I’m always having flashbacks to moments where I felt ashamed in school. Or fantasising about being back in school except being popular and ‘pretty’ and having a good time.
I’m planning on getting a nose job as soon as I can save up enough money. I know it’s bad, and I was insecure about my nose regardless; but I feel as though I’m doing it to finally be good enough for everybody in high school. Even though they obviously aren’t around to even see it.
I don’t know how I can even overcome this except accept reality and try to be as attractive as humanly possible. Like once I’m a knockout, I can finally pretend like they never even existed.