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Cat Farted All Over Me! Now I Can't Sleep. Anyone Else Have Pets Who Fart On Them?

HotDamn

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I was working on some reports tonight. My husband's bitchy cat came into my office and climbed into my lap. I should have known something was up, because we don't like other like that. She started purring and then I smelled something. It took me a couple of seconds to realize she wasn't purring. She was putting out a loooooong fart! She looked me dead in my eyes while she was doing it.

I jumped like...

giphy.gif


That hateful bi**h bolted out of the office. She had the nerve to run to the bedroom and cuddle up next to my sleeping husband.

Now I am sitting my living room bent all out of shape.


.
 

Omniscience

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She knew what she was doing with her trifling petty self. :ROFLMAO:

She's probably on the internet on a pet version of LSA right now, laughing it up and telling her pet friends what she did to you (and plotting her next move)

tenor.gif
 
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Akoyas

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Lmaoo. .you actually heard the cat fart??!! That is a first. I always smell it but never heard.
Omg..I love cats but some of them can be so petty. Lolol
 

Arristance

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My cat lays right next to my keyboard and farts.

And idk about yall cats but my cat's farts are always silent and deadly. All of a sudden I smell something foul and I can't figure out what it is. I'll sniff his hind legs and I'll make a loud ass "ILLLLLLLL" sound when I smell it and he'll just look at me like

staring-cat111.jpg


b!tch you knew the deal
 

HotDamn

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Lmaoo. .you actually heard the cat fart??!! That is a first. I always smell it but never heard.
Omg..I love cats but some of them can be so petty. Lolol

I had never heard her fart before. Just smelled it. That's why I thought she was purring at first.

Usually when a cat farts, they are silent and deadly.
 

TheSheVirgo

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My cat does not have gas but he is a revenge pooper . I work from home today he was being a bit Noisy when on a call. He wasn’t in the room with me but hallways. He likes to be in the room with me and b!tches when he gets locked out. But he can be a distraction on calls and have a super loud meow. So today I locked him in my room suite for a second just for 20 minutes. He has a litter box In my bathroom, which was clearly clean. Yet pooped right next to my fµck!ng toilet where one one would put their feet. Luckily I caught it but ALMOST had a fµcked up cat sh!t sock.

He will also sh!t by my bedroom door at night if he gets locked out at night. He has another litter box in my office that’s always clean. But if he gets in his feelings he will revenge poop. Little sh!t. Currently curled up in bed looking so innocent. But I know the truth
 

StarSheen

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My cats are lactose intolerant...I gave them milk once and only once cause they lit my house up...
 

YaManSuckedmyToes

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My cat does not have gas but he is a revenge pooper . I work from home today he was being a bit Noisy when on a call. He wasn’t in the room with me but hallways. He likes to be in the room with me and b!tches when he gets locked out. But he can be a distraction on calls and have a super loud meow. So today I locked him in my room suite for a second just for 20 minutes. He has a litter box In my bathroom, which was clearly clean. Yet pooped right next to my fµck!ng toilet where one one would put their feet. Luckily I caught it but ALMOST had a fµcked up cat sh!t sock.

He will also sh!t by my bedroom door at night if he gets locked out at night. He has another litter box in my office that’s always clean. But if he gets in his feelings he will revenge poop. Little sh!t. Currently curled up in bed looking so innocent. But I know the truth

Wow your cat legitally told you he had something for that ass.
Probably was like this:
giphy-facebook_s.jpg
 

ube1kenobi

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Reasons why I don't own any pets. I don't like owning a cat ever since I helped my 5th grade teacher out while she went on vacation. Cats know what they're doing, but they don't fool me. My teacher's cat noticed I don't BS around so we leave each other be.

I love animals... I like hugging and petting them... but everything else? No thanks.
 

merlinn

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She was putting out a loooooong fart! She looked me dead in my eyes while she was doing it.

Put for her a box in your office. This way she will be so distracted, she will forget to fart on you, lol.

c3d21e4d4362113476039b5392ed723a--cat-traps-cat-boxes.jpg


He likes to be in the room with me and b!tches when he gets locked out.

Do the same. Put him a box, you want him to stay.
 

Miss Honeypot

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My tiny ass dog has farts that can knock everyone down. Will be right in my lap, fart and look at me like....

images


...all satisfied and sh!t.

You're like 5 lbs, how are your farts so deadly?
 

DZA

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My dog has farted on me several times. It's always audible so I'm able to move before smelling it.

She'll usually look back at her butt then start sniffing it, 'ol nasty ass.
 

sasha032

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That cat is just like a petty female. Between the thread title and your post, I am in tears OP.

e975f6dfc2c05e6ceb50100520639fe9.jpg
 

BadderNBoujee

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My puppy does this. Keeps his butt in my face. You never hear the flatulence tho. I smell that sh!t and smh. Ol nasty ass.
 

HotDamn

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I have a cat and me and that mf do not get along or cuddle ... can’t relate. :sidefrown

I don't get along with this cat either. She has never liked me. She thinks she owns my husband.

I should have thrown her azz out of my office as soon as I saw her.
 

WritingMerchant

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Lmaoo. .you actually heard the cat fart??!! That is a first. I always smell it but never heard.
Omg..I love cats but some of them can be so petty. Lolol

fartskunk.jpg


I had three that were sneaky monsters. Two of them passed gas that would've peeled paint and curdled milk for a whole city block, but I never noticed anything nasty from the third.

One was so particular about the litter box that if there was what he viewed as one clump in the box as "dirty" and would sh!t outside of it. Meanwhile, that thing could be overloaded with clumps (which rarely happened) and the other two would still dig to China for a spot to do their business. :LOL:
 

PROV0CATEUR

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My parents dog will sit on your lap only to fart and walk away. He’s such a sweetie pie that you can’t get mad.

I do not approve of your cat farting on you though @HotDamn you’re my favorite font! Let me help you find the nearest shelter
 

sundaybest

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I don't get along with this cat either. She has never liked me. She thinks she owns my husband.

I should have thrown her azz out of my office as soon as I saw her.
Lol. Amazing how your husband could care less that you don’t like the cat.

That’s how I am. My man said last night to me, ‘you dog lovers are crazy.’

So what.
 

HotDamn

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Lol. Amazing how your husband could care less that you don’t like the cat.

That’s how I am. My man said last night to me, ‘you dog lovers are crazy.’

So what.

He really doesn't care. I told him about it this morning and he said: "You know how she is."
wtf2.png
 

TiredoftheBS

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I had never heard her fart before. Just smelled it. That's why I thought she was purring at first.

Usually when a cat farts, they are silent and deadly.
May I just say I like your tag line about securing the ring lol!
 

Princefanxo

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That cat is trifling as hell. That b!tch would have gotten punched in her throat. Nasty ass. Next time you have to fart grab that cat and fart right in its face.
 

HotDamn

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That cat is trifling as hell. That b!tch would have gotten punched in her throat. Nasty ass. Next time you have to fart grab that cat and fart right in its face.

I feel so petty for this... I am going to fart right in her face when I get a chance. I really am.
 

BeautynSmartz

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She knew what she was doing with her trifling petty self. :ROFLMAO:

She's probably on the internet on a pet version of LSA right now, laughing it up and telling her pet friends what she did to you (and plotting her next move)

tenor.gif
And not even going incog. Cat savage.
 

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