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ALTEREGO310

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How do you go about telling men you're celibate with dating? Initially or as things progress? I wanna date, but I don't desire to have xes. I just wanna form a connection and MAYBEEEEE see what happens. But I'm too busy, and honestly just am not interested in xes at the moment. I am focused on my advanced degree, work, and my upcoming business.... I MIGHT if it feels right, but it's on the bottom of my hierarchy of needs at the moment. Just wanna date, feel feminine, and have fun... W/o xes :eyeroll
 

Jeff Bezos

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Not celibate, but it's probably better to introduce it once you get to know each other well enough to know you're in a "steady" part of your relationship, but before anything gets too serious. That way if s/he decides to leave you because of the no-xes thing you won't be so invested that your feelings are hurt.

But someone more experienced with celibate relationships might say something different.

Good luck.
 

AloneNLonely

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I was celibate for 15 months because a Virgo broke my heart. Then he came back a couple weeks ago. I thought I had control but the peen is a demon.

but the 15 months was easy because I don’t meet a lot of dudes so I didn’t have to explain it to anyone
 

ericandrehotpac

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You should be honest upfront. The person you engage with may not leave, but see you as a (worthy) challenge. I am not currently dating but using my time during this health crisis to better myself.
 

gracie13

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How do you go about telling men you're celibate with dating? Initially or as things progress? I wanna date, but I don't desire to have xes. I just wanna form a connection and MAYBEEEEE see what happens. But I'm too busy, and honestly just am not interested in xes at the moment. I am focused on my advanced degree, work, and my upcoming business.... I MIGHT if it feels right, but it's on the bottom of my hierarchy of needs at the moment. Just wanna date, feel feminine, and have fun... W/o xes :eyeroll


Do you also have a low xes drive?

Because even though I’m abstinent. My xes drive is still high.

I don’t tell men anything about what I’m willing to do xesually. It’s pointless, I wait till we make it to a serious monogamists relationship first.
 

KuroiHakucho

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I've been celibate for over 4 years now but have gone on several dates but none have led to relationships. Because it takes me awhile to get comfortable enough to enter a relationship anyway, most people know that I'm not looking for hookups and that I like to take things slow and progress and if they do have any questions about it, I tell them then.
 

MZJazzmine

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Tell them up front, that way you don't waste your or his time. It also weeds out the ones who just want xes. Don't get attached and get your feelings hurt if you wait, reveal, and they reject you. I would say, don't invest yourself in someone who doesn't know and respect your celibate status.
 

Ezra Miller

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It takes me a while to get to know someone, so they can posit from that alone that I'm not rushing into xes. Once the conversation turns xesual (and I actually want to be intimate with them), that's when I'll tell them that I'm abstinent.
 

afroboho

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I just told a guy that's been trying to take me out for over a year now. His response was "what do you do when you're horny"

I left him on read.

Some men will want you even more after that, like a conquest.

Not interested.
 

ALTEREGO310

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Thanks for y'all responses. Just not feeling men & xes at the moment. Got too much going on for non- commitment, casual ish.
 

MZJazzmine

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Thanks for y'all responses. Just not feeling men & xes at the moment. Got too much going on for non- commitment, casual ish.

That's actually a good thing! Keep your priorities straight and stay focused. You'll reap the rewards of your hard work. You will also look back and see you didn't miss anything...
 

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