Chaste/modest church women deserve so much better

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@Lisa willis @420Zelle @Ashley Del Rey why be skeptical? You can go on her IG and listened to her interviews regarding Russell. I don't know why "some" people want their love to be one-sided so badly.
It’s not one-sided at all, but I do feel like Russ is just a little more into her. Just a little bit. And that’s honestly a good thing and why they work. Same with Saweetie and Quavo.
 
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@Lisa willis @420Zelle @Ashley Del Rey why be skeptical? You can go on her IG and listened to her interviews regarding Russell. I don't know why "some" people want their love to be one-sided so badly.
When they initially got together it was apparent that he had been interested in her long before he approached her. It was obvious. He feelings developed overtime but it doesn’t negate the fact that he wanted her more in the beginning of their courtship.
 
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When they initially got together it was apparent that he had been interested in her long before he approached her. It was obvious. He feelings developed overtime but it doesn’t negate the fact that he wanted her more in the beginning of their courtship.
LOL, Ciara is a celebrity you know how many men wanted her? Just like her ex who said he saw Ciara making a music video a year before but wouldn't step to her, because he knew he couldn't step to her as he was. Her ex went on to say he had to change to be with her. He stopped doing drugs, he said he became a family man to be with her. But y'all ain't saying anything about that. Past change his whole life and personality to fit into what he thought Ciara wanted, he said Ciara had him acting corny.
Ciara said when she first met Russell he took her breath away and it was love at first sight both of them have said that. Her friends said that after the first night meeting Russell Ciara called her and said she met her one.
 
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It’s not one-sided at all, but I do feel like Russ is just a little more into her. Just a little bit. And that’s honestly a good thing and why they work. Same with Saweetie and Quavo.
Nah, Ciara uprooted her life in California to move to Seattle sold her home without a ring, not really knowing if what Russell was saying would hold up or not. She never did that for any man. Even Past wanted her to move back to the ATL where she had a home and she wouldn't.
 
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LOL, Ciara is a celebrity you know how many men wantrd her? Just like her ex who said he saw Ciara making a interview a year before but wouldn't step to her, because he knew he couldn't step to her as he was. Her ex went on to say he had to change to be with her. He stopped doing drugs, he said he became a family man to be with her. But y'all ain't saying anything about that. Past change his whole life and personality to fit into what he thought Ciara wanted, he said Ciara had him acting corny.
Ciara said when she first met Russell he took her breath away and it was love at first sight both of them have said that. Her friends said that after the first night meeting Russell Ciara called her and said she met her one.
Ma’am agree to disagree and keep it moving because the point went way over your head and you’re reaching when her ex has nothing to do with the conversation.
 
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I encourage women all the time to live their lives for THEMSELVES, not for a man, or in anticipation of a man or marriage.

Yes! Alot of women would be alot happier if they applied this in their life.


You preached a word!
 
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The seahawk QB is another supposedly Christian man that married a worldly woman.

You’re talking about Russell Wilson. Yup, I briefly mentioned them upthread. She also has a child out of wedlock from a previous relationship to boot. It didn’t make sense to me that he was practicing celibacy with her and acting as if he was about to marry a virgin. This is what they do. They get women like that and try to change them. This is why I feel like these guys are full of sh!t. To me, you ARE the company you keep and that includes your spouse. I can tell a lot about someone by who they choose to associate with especially who they choose as their life partner. Religion is just a publicity stunt for some people.

How can a so called godly man marry a woman who gives lap dances to men and gyrates her body on the floor as if she’s having sex? She is one of the baby mamas to a rapper. Then you practice celibacy with her as if she is chaste. I was annoyed that he was treating her as if she was such.
 
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Oh, gotcha! I like them together, but I feel he loved her more than she does.

That’s usually how it is when men without their own kids marry women with kids. The father of their children is usually their first choice while the stepdad is just the provider she can use to take care of her kids after it didn’t work out with the baby father. Did you ever notice that the biological dads and the stepfathers almost always have opposite characteristics?
 
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I met, married and divorced my ex-husband in the Church. (The truth is, I was in a bad place and suffering from depression and low self-esteem/worth.) It was the perfect storm! Needless to say, I have removed myself from the church and focus on a 1-on- relationship with the Creator, rather than listening to some man telling me what to do or NOT do.
 
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This is exactly why I have not married or had children. People always told me to lower my standards and I am like for what? Lowering my standards brought many issues that I learned valuable lessons from. Not ever again will I be so simple to do so.

Most of men, young and old, have a lot of baggage in terms of being faux christians and coming to the table with OOW children in many homes, ex-wives, and other issues.
Have dealt with that fact my entire life. They want YOU to be wholesome but they are not and have no intentions of doing so.

I encourage women all the time to live their lives for THEMSELVES, not for a man, or in anticipation of a man or marriage.

My father married three times. Three. My mother is his first wife who is a faux Christian. He treated her like nothing and moved on. His second wife he couldn’t run game on so they split and now he married the one who always wanted him and was his lover through all of his relationships. Now he’s older, retired, can’t run the streets, and has health issues so guess who he chose? The faithful woman who prayed for him. I wouldn’t want a man who has overlooked me for decades to only choose me when there are no other options.

I deserve and will have better than to allow that type of treatment even if it means remaining single. Because I am never alone contrary to what many think.

I can admit that I strayed away from the church and worship services when I was younger for various reasons. I have always fought to keep my faith and build my relationship with God regardless of what I dealt with in life. I have found more peace alone praying to God and reading the Word as opposed to sitting in a congregation where the pastor or minister is trying to have his way with his congregants or listening to people who are just as hypocritical as those that they shun spew their nonsense.

I am celibate for me and God. Not in anticipation of or for a man. You can have a great life while living for God. Do not listen to those who say that you cannot and will project onto you that you must walk around looking and acting like a prudish woman to do so.



He did love her more. She is more in love with him now but initially you could see that he was more into her than she was him.

It’s sad what happened with your dad’s third wife. I’d rather stay single and childless to be in that position. I wouldn’t ever legally tie myself to a man with kids by other women. I did not work hard in school to build a career only to use my hard earned money on other people’s kids. I’d rather spend it on my family member’s kids bc at least those kids are related to me and would take care of me if I was in need. I want kids but I’m also content with being the fun childless Aunt.

These men need to learn there are consequences to their actions. Accepting them after they are old and broke will just enable their behavior. I won’t be anyone’s insurance policy. I would only accept a man back if he was still young (under 40) and had NO kids. This way we can start on a clean slate. An ex must come back new and improved before I take him back.
 
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I've seen it many times with my male friends/acquaintances. I guess everyone in the church is told to find someone who is also Christian but what I've noticed is that the women really take it to heart and look for a man who is already a churchgoing Christian (bonus points if he attends their church) whereas the men don't typically choose from within their congregation. They won't limit their dating options to just Christian women either but when/if things get serious, they'll convince the girl to convert or start attending church at least.

I think women should be just as open tbh. Sometimes being so strict in your religiosity is what is getting in the way of finding love.

I find the bolded to be a real issue as well. In so many congregations, active Christian men are missing from 25-35 while women are still showing up, serving.

Who is already there for marriage-minded women to choose from when a key age demographic for mates is missing from the church? Not even factoring in compatibility just presence alone...
 
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It’s sad what happened with your dad’s third wife. I’d rather stay single and childless to be in that position. I wouldn’t ever legally tie myself to a man with kids by other women. I did not work hard in school to build a career only to use my hard earned money on other people’s kids. I’d rather spend it on my family member’s kids bc at least those kids are related to me and would take care of me if I was in need. I want kids but I’m also content with being the fun childless Aunt.

These men need to learn there are consequences to their actions. Accepting them after they are old and broke will just enable their behavior. I won’t be anyone’s insurance policy. I would only accept a man back if he was still young (under 40) and had NO kids. This way we can start on a clean slate. An ex must come back new and improved before I take him back.
You’re better than me because I don’t do do overs. Lol

Once we are done, I am done. No going backwards.

All of my siblings and I were adults when my father married his third wife. He has never really paid child support and asking him for anything usually turns into him gripping that we only come around whenever there’s a need. Not so but that’s how selfish he is.

Being a child of a broken home made me realize even more that I don’t not want to deal with a man who has children. It’s too much to deal with when you are childless. Nothing against the children but the parental responsibility falls on the biological parents, not me.

I have accepted that I may not ever marry because I refuse to marry someone who is irresponsible and a nonbeliever in God.

There are good men who are faithful to not only God but themselves to not be dishonest, disrespectful, and messy. I will continue on my journey and if it happens, it happens.

If not, I am still okay.
 
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You’re better than me because I don’t do do overs. Lol

Once we are done, I am done. No going backwards.

All of my siblings and I were adults when my father married his third wife. He has never really paid child support and asking him for anything usually turns into him gripping that we only come around whenever there’s a need. Not so but that’s how selfish he is.

Being a child of a broken home made me realize even more that I don’t not want to deal with a man who has children. It’s too much to deal with when you are childless. Nothing against the children but the parental responsibility falls on the biological parents, not me.

I have accepted that I may not ever marry because I refuse to marry someone who is irresponsible and a nonbeliever in God.

There are good men who are faithful to not only God but themselves to not be dishonest, disrespectful, and messy. I will continue on my journey and if it happens, it happens.

If not, I am still okay.
I think as someone mentioned above, the best course of action is for women to live a full life for themselves. I guess I am fortunate that my parents are still married and that growing up I witnessed and continue to witness what healthy love and true partnership look like through them. In a way, it probably spoiled me too because it led me to believe that finding something similar would be easy.
 
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I met, married and divorced my ex-husband in the Church. (The truth is, I was in a bad place and suffering from depression and low self-esteem/worth.) It was the perfect storm! Needless to say, I have removed myself from the church and focus on a 1-on- relationship with the Creator, rather than listening to some man telling me what to do or NOT do.

You seem to be at peace! I'm curious on how your experience was meeting a man at the church because I don't hear stories like that anymore
 
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I find the bolded to be a real issue as well. In so many congregations, active Christian men are missing from 25-35 while women are still showing up, serving.

Who is already there for marriage-minded women to choose from when a key age demographic for mates is missing from the church? Not even factoring in compatibility just presence alone...


I noticed that as well. In my church, it's mainly older men and women, women in the age bracket you included. The men who are in that age bracket are usually married.
 
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I begin to start believing more and more that men wants a woman that challenge and excites them.

For example there is a Pastor from San Diego, Richard Delamora who married an ex pornstar, there both doing ministry now, have a podcast called"Let's talk about purity"
They practiced also celibacy before marriage.

Good for her, getting out of the industry and having a good men. But at first i thought really, why as a young Pastor choosing this women, is it a saviour complex?

But now i think he wanted something different and exciting.
 
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I begin to start believing more and more that men wants a woman that challenge and excites them.

For example there is a Pastor from San Diego, Richard Delamora who married an ex pornstar, there both doing ministry now, have a podcast called"Let's talk about purity"
They practiced also celibacy before marriage.

Good for her, getting out of the industry and having a good men. But at first i thought really, why as a young Pastor choosing this women, is it a saviour complex?

But now i think he wanted something different and exciting.
Everyone wants someone that excites and challenges them. I just feel that some women are made to suppress their personality to mold themselves into what they believe is the perfect wife. It sucks.
 

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