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incogneato

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This guy introduced me to his mom today but I’ve been planning to end things for some time now.

He’s great and nice and we get along but that’s not enough. I’m a free spirited, passionate person and he’s not. I don’t want someone as hyper as me, I like reserved guys but I wish he could match my energy sometimes. On rare occasions he shows some personality but I’m very much the ‘life’ of the relationship. I feel like our relationship is so routine now. We chill on the weekends. We have gone on a some trips and we do things for birthdays/v day but it’s nothing spontaneous anymore. I think he’s got so accustomed to this boring rut and he enjoys it.

My friends are telling me he’s a great guy and I know the dating streets are beyond bleak but there’s just something missing. If he proposed to me tomorrow I wouldn’t say yes.

I know I have to tell him soon…I’m just waiting on a good time.

Also I’ve told him countless times I like flowers and he’s very resistant to get them for me. He’s only done it once after we had an argument and we almost broke up (the argument was over the lack of flowers lol)

I just needed to vent because my friends seem to think I’m just being dramatic. I don’t want to settle
 

incogneato

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Are men so reluctant to chase? We had eye contact, I smiled, I waved how many more hints do you need to know that I’m interested. I waited for you to come down from the escalator but instead you stayed perhaps waiting for me to come back. Now you have missed or I have missed the chance
 

incogneato

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I feel like I'm dating a child. The fact I've requested space for myself in a relationship is usually a bad sign. I need a space to pour back into me and work on managing my emotions bc he TRIGGERS the hell outta me!

Funny enough his inaction, passive, non-assertive nature is ridiculous. Why I'm I more assertive? I don't want to do, I just want to be and relax in my feminine. We have not spoken for 2weeks.. I'm done reaching out most of the time. I dislike men who want constant ego stroking, coddling, and chasing!
 

incogneato

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All you did was complain and talk sh!t the last two weeks about the way I live my life, but when it comes to yours, you want to cry, mope, and play victim. I’m leaving 2023 with more disdain for men than when I did coming in. No patience, no understanding because you definitely don’t know what is going on in my life, and no compassion. Tell me again how you want to give this another go. I’m sorry you have so much time, can I borrow some? I could really use it lmao.
 

incogneato

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I’m getting a divorce. Deep down I know he cheated and that he has decided to pursue something with this other woman. He claims that‘s not the reason for the divorce and that he is just burnt out on the marriage, but my discernment is telling me otherwise. I don’t even want to think about the reality of him cheating on me so I will just go with the lie. I‘m not even going to try to investigate further. Me having concrete evidence would not be good for my mental health. I don’t think cheaters understand the mental turmoil they cause. I would rather just go with the lie than face the truth. I don’t need to spiral because once I do, I fear how I will react. Out of sight, out of mind. That’s what I’m going with. I pray I’m able to mentally recover from all of this. Betrayal is sooo hard to cope with. I’m tired of standing ten toes down on loyalty and not being given the same in return.
 

incogneato

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Ranting because the guy I met in 2022 sent me a happy new year 2 years later and thought he could have acces to me. I said thanks and kept it moving. Bye
 

incogneato

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I let my ex come back just to waste my time even more idk why I gave him another chance. He's a red pill fool who believes it's masculine for men to sleep around and men are supposed to be polygamous. He told me he wanted 2-4 wives and 3 kids between those women. Idk how he will make that work unless he gets super rich and right now he can't afford to take care of one woman. Or even xesually please one he's a quick nut. He also said he's only interested in dating black women but was on hinge messaging a Mexican woman asking her to teach him Spanish embarrassing. I gave this man so many chances throughout the years on and off idk why. It's embarrassing and ghetto but I'm done. Also with the poly situation he never told me that
In the beginning I literally didn't find out until he was cheating on me he want on a date and was texting some woman he met at a store. I told him he needs to heal because it's not normal to think that way you know the red pill talking points And he has daddy issues too.
 

incogneato

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You were happy to kiss me on our date but now that I need your help and I ask for it you say no how am I supposed to be interested in you if you can’t even impress me and show the value you have in my life modern dating is broken
 

incogneato

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I feel silly complaining about eating/cooking habits, but my partner is more invested in food than I am. He'll spend an hour plus cooking breakfast when my preferred breakfast is one of those $1 snack trays with cheese, nuts, and craisins. I eat light and I don't appreciate everything that goes into home cooked meals. It feels like a colossal time waste when Lean Cuisines take 5 minutes. If the cooking is done when I get home, great! If I have to wait 1 hour plus for it, give me a Healthy Choice microwave meal please.

When it's my turn to cook, he constantly complains about my inferior cookware and that I need better pots (not sure why he hasn't upgraded me then :rolleyes:). But then he thinks all my pots have teflon and will cause us cancer (negatory). And he gets mad when I use metal utensils in them. Is there such a thing as food incompatibility? This schism with him is rather exhausting....
 

incogneato

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You always made it difficult for me and you were never happy. You complained if I did too little and if I did too much. Okay Goldilocks, I hope you can find somebody that can make you happy and that you can be sure of because with me you always had your doubts.
 

incogneato

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I understood why you don’t want to be my sneaky link because I didn’t want to be your sneaky link either! No matter how much love, time, and attention someone gives, the fact that they are in a commitment with somebody else will always be a thorn in the side.
 

incogneato

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I've had this on my mind for quite a while now but I need to be honest with myself.

I love my boyfriend and really appreciate him but sometimes I just don't "feel" anything in this relationship and I can't help but think that he feels the same too.
He's a beautiful person and he treats me well but I just prefer being alone. I don't really want to date anyone and would prefer having xesual flings without any strings attached instead.
When he made a move on me, I really should have declined and turned down any romantic interests.

I feel so bad because he's introduced me to his parents and told his friends about me in which they're wanting to meet me.
Perhaps today could just be one of those days and I'll feel different tomorrow. We'll see how things progress.
 

incogneato

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This week, I’ve been having non stop freak sessions with my FWB. Every single night it’s been chef‘s kiss incredible. He wants to get more serious, but when I start to ask him about his current situation he just shuts down and doesn’t want to discuss. I‘m like okay, guess we’ll stay FWB until we do this song and dance again.
 

incogneato

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Found out a month ago by husband had an emotional affair with pics and 'I love yous' exchanged. It went on for years. Including while I was pregnant and after my difficult birth with baby in NICU. He claims it was the biggest mistake of his life (that went on years???). I feel like I don't know this man. We have been together almost 14 years. He said he was going to seek therapy and do whatever it takes to prove to me he is committed to change.
Took a month to make an appointment. But when he had issues almost two years ago, it only took him a week to find a psychiatrist. Idk, I alternate between being numb, pissed and bitter. I feel so hideous. And its hilarious cause this woman he talked to is ugly. So my ego is doubly bruised lol. I hate my postpartum body. I hate everything about myself. I hate him for doing this to me. I hate that he conjured out my anxiety and panic attacks after I fought so hard to heal myself from past trauma. I feel like he should be groveling but he's been quiet like he doesnt want me to get pissed at him or something. And that meek attitude just pisses me off so much.

In every serious relationship I've been cheated on. I'm the woman who is pursued but then men get bored with, I guess. We recently moved to a new city and I feel so damned alone. I haven't told anyone cause I am so ashamed to be in this situation. I finally have my rainbow baby and almost (not all) my happiness is ashes in my mouth. Every moment, every step is tainted with his betrayal. Why, man? Just why? And for what? I don't believe in anything anymore.
 

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This post isn’t thread worthy so I’ll leave this here. I think a ‘friend’ is attracted to my man. How can I bait or test her?
 

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It's not your fault, so please don't beat yourself up. Go on reddit and you will see how common it is for men to step out while their wife or partner is pregnant or postpartum - it's truly nauseating. Bearers of the XY chromosome are missing a decency chip. Forget about being empathetic - most of them are incapable of even being a DECENT human.

In every serious relationship I've been cheated on. I'm the woman who is pursued but then men get bored with, I guess. We recently moved to a new city and I feel so damned alone. I haven't told anyone cause I am so ashamed to be in this situation. I finally have my rainbow baby and almost (not all) my happiness is ashes in my mouth. Every moment, every step is tainted with his betrayal. Why, man? Just why? And for what? I don't believe in anything anymore.
 

just11412

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Pretty sure this not gonna work this time around. There are just quite a few things I ain't happy about still. It's just a matter of when cause is it something I can talk with him about or not. Or do I really wanna talk with him about it.
 

incogneato

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My boyfriend and I got into an extremely huge fight at the beginning of the month. Backstory: The fight was about me feeling unappreciated. It’s been two weeks now, and things are slowly getting back to normal between us. However, I’m a bit conflicted because I feel an internal battle within myself. I feel as though I won’t be able to speak to communicate any pressing issues or concerns moving forward. Before the fight, I always felt like I would receive the short end of the stick. During these two weeks of us slowly merging back together, he’s been keeping me at a distance. It’s as though he’s punishing me. This relationship used to be a safe place for me, but now I’m unsure. Today, he stated that he wants this to work, and he’s rooting for us.

Today, I asked him if he was happy, and he stated yes. But his happiness comes for the sake of my peace. In the two weeks, he barely spoke to me, and basically he stopped everything. No texts or calls. Nothing. I felt punished, and I still do. My mind keeps saying it sees what happens when you stand up for yourself. I feel conflicted.
 

incogneato

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I'm lonely ...I miss passion n intimacy I'm craving it. He won't let the relationship end ...he holds the cards financially...I fantasize about being connected... Sigh
 

incogneato

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I’m so bored in this relationship. I miss the feeling of talking to someone new, first dates, not having to deal with emotions and feelings. When I was single I was spoilt more by different guys and felt sexier. I had more fun. Is it normal for a long term relationship to feel so static and boring
 

incogneato

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So my boyfriend was in my driveway working on his car..I just moved to the neighborhood..none of the neighbors have spoken to me. Anyways one of the neighbors came outside to come talk to him about fixing a car. They were giggling and cheesing a little to hard for my taste so I NICELY came outside to offer him a bottle water since he was looking kinda thirsty...anyways by the time I came downstairs to bring the water the girl was back in her place..I heard her say she was going to grab a lighter..she never came back...he says that I ruined his opportunity for a job but my thing is why wouldn't she come back outside if she was just trying to get her car fixed? I told him she was flirting and he says she just wanted her car fixed.. so now he is mad at me and that is making me mad. How am I wrong for coming out OF MY HOME into MY driveway to check up on my man??
 

incogneato

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My ex used to beat my @$$ for damn near 4 years straight. I left and never looked back. I found out through Facebook his mother passed away last week and I was wondering if I should go give my condolences. I was very close with his mother, and the family and they always held him to task about his abusive ways. Do you guys think I should go? I’ll be bringing my little friend along with me as well if I do :emoji_gun:
 

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My ex used to beat my @$$ for damn near 4 years straight. I left and never looked back. I found out through Facebook his mother passed away last week and I was wondering if I should go give my condolences. I was very close with his mother, and the family and they always held him to task about his abusive ways. Do you guys think I should go? I’ll be bringing my little friend along with me as well if I do :emoji_gun:
If I was you I wouldn’t maybe send flowers or something but don’t go
 

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My ex used to beat my @$$ for damn near 4 years straight. I left and never looked back. I found out through Facebook his mother passed away last week and I was wondering if I should go give my condolences. I was very close with his mother, and the family and they always held him to task about his abusive ways. Do you guys think I should go? I’ll be bringing my little friend along with me as well if I do :emoji_gun:
NO. Don't even send so much as a kind THOUGHT or prayer his direction. For the love of God. It's so frustrating to read posts like this.
 

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My boyfriend and I got into an extremely huge fight at the beginning of the month. Backstory: The fight was about me feeling unappreciated. It’s been two weeks now, and things are slowly getting back to normal between us. However, I’m a bit conflicted because I feel an internal battle within myself. I feel as though I won’t be able to speak to communicate any pressing issues or concerns moving forward. Before the fight, I always felt like I would receive the short end of the stick. During these two weeks of us slowly merging back together, he’s been keeping me at a distance. It’s as though he’s punishing me. This relationship used to be a safe place for me, but now I’m unsure. Today, he stated that he wants this to work, and he’s rooting for us.

Today, I asked him if he was happy, and he stated yes. But his happiness comes for the sake of my peace. In the two weeks, he barely spoke to me, and basically he stopped everything. No texts or calls. Nothing. I felt punished, and I still do. My mind keeps saying it sees what happens when you stand up for yourself. I feel conflicted.
you feel unappreciated. you feel like going forward, you won't be able to express yourself in the relationship or voice concerns. you'll essentially be walking on eggshells. you feel like he's punishing you by keeping you at a distance. you do not feel safe in the relationship anymore.

he gave you some low effort breadcrumb talking about he wants things to work DESPITE the fact that his actions said otherwise during and after the huge fight.

you feel conflicted? about what exactly? :eyeroll are you okay with emotional abuse? because that's what this is.
 

incogneato

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My ex used to beat my @$$ for damn near 4 years straight. I left and never looked back. I found out through Facebook his mother passed away last week and I was wondering if I should go give my condolences. I was very close with his mother, and the family and they always held him to task about his abusive ways. Do you guys think I should go? I’ll be bringing my little friend along with me as well if I do :emoji_gun:
please don't go.
 

incogneato

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I guess I'm single again was ghosted by my boyfriend. but he was a terrible boyfriend anyways the communication has been sh!t the whole time. I feel like he used me and now decided to disappear instead of communicating. Mind you this an ex from the past who I was on and off with its a mess fr.
 

BrittXOXO

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I feel like I'm dating a child. The fact I've requested space for myself in a relationship is usually a bad sign. I need a space to pour back into me and work on managing my emotions bc he TRIGGERS the hell outta me!

Funny enough his inaction, passive, non-assertive nature is ridiculous. Why I'm I more assertive? I don't want to do, I just want to be and relax in my feminine. We have not spoken for 2weeks.. I'm done reaching out most of the time. I dislike men who want constant ego stroking, coddling, and chasing!
Don’t chase em! Replace em sis!
 

BrittXOXO

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So I’ve been naughty. I’ve been texing other guys while in a relationship. I’m just so bored in my relationship at the moment so I’m just having my little fun.
 

Whatitwas

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Finally I made it to this thread.
I have arrived how are you doing people?
I can’t believe I’m finding myself in Jane Doe Alley but here goes nothing.
Let me lurk around first though.
Ah yes idk if I want to stay in the relationship for now I will but things will have to pick up in the coming months, this is not it.
 

Whatitwas

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My boyfriend is grieving a loss of a friend and Ive been thinking about breaking up with him because his distance is pushing me away. I know it’s not intentional but the lack of communication is not okay with me.
My situation is similar very similar.
No loss and that’s the whole poiny a family member of his is in a psych ward and his whole life had disrupted because of it. I can’t stay if things don’t pick up and get better, he is not cold but he wants me to be his psychiatrist in other words and I can’t do it. Some of you may know me from mental health alley I already have anxiety so I have to protect my peace at all costs. He thinks I’m selfish but I’m trying my best to be there for him it just feels like he isn’t fully appreciating it since I can’t be his psychiatrist basically.

How are things going now?
 

Whatitwas

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I want to keep going out with him, but at the same time I know there’s no real future together. Like, I don’t want to live with him or have kids, etc. I’m fine just dating but it’s been a few years now and he keeps bringing up living together. If I lived with him he would constantly annoy me. He’s like a big kid which is fun for a day or two, but I like taking a few days break from being around him. I told him I like living alone and I don’t want kids. I don’t know if he thinks he can change my mind. He can’t. I do wish he had a different personality, if he did, I’d want everything with him.
I have the same thing I don’t think I can live with him yet I still want to make things work for the time being.
 

Whatitwas

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This guy introduced me to his mom today but I’ve been planning to end things for some time now.

He’s great and nice and we get along but that’s not enough. I’m a free spirited, passionate person and he’s not. I don’t want someone as hyper as me, I like reserved guys but I wish he could match my energy sometimes. On rare occasions he shows some personality but I’m very much the ‘life’ of the relationship. I feel like our relationship is so routine now. We chill on the weekends. We have gone on a some trips and we do things for birthdays/v day but it’s nothing spontaneous anymore. I think he’s got so accustomed to this boring rut and he enjoys it.

My friends are telling me he’s a great guy and I know the dating streets are beyond bleak but there’s just something missing. If he proposed to me tomorrow I wouldn’t say yes.

I know I have to tell him soon…I’m just waiting on a good time.

Also I’ve told him countless times I like flowers and he’s very resistant to get them for me. He’s only done it once after we had an argument and we almost broke up (the argument was over the lack of flowers lol)

I just needed to vent because my friends seem to think I’m just being dramatic. I don’t want to settle
Mines gets me flowers but what I want. Is flowers and shopping trips.
Recently married and I'm afraid my husband's clinginess is already going to ruin us.

It was better for a while but last night it flared up.
Something I am experiencing with my bf. Him wanting to be clingy when he is moody. b!tch! Don’t rub your negative vibes off on me!
How are you coping with the clinginess?
 

incogneato

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I feel like I'm dating a child. The fact I've requested space for myself in a relationship is usually a bad sign. I need a space to pour back into me and work on managing my emotions bc he TRIGGERS the hell outta me!

Funny enough his inaction, passive, non-assertive nature is ridiculous. Why I'm I more assertive? I don't want to do, I just want to be and relax in my feminine. We have not spoken for 2weeks.. I'm done reaching out most of the time. I dislike men who want constant ego stroking, coddling, and chasing!
I felt this! My ex boyfriend whom is trying to reconnect with me is similar. One day him and I can have amazing conversations laughing and all and then he gets silent and short with communication. He is hot and cold. I care about him but this won’t work. I get so emotional and have to block him when he triggers me. No other man I’ve dated had that affect on me. He was my first love so I guess that’s why.
 

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