COVID-19 Can't Stop A Pick Me Cat...

I secured the ring with this hair & clean panties
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Y'all wanted a Hussy update so here is a brief one. It has been a while and she has pulled a lot of shit, but I am going to focus on some of her COVID era fuckery

For anyone who isn't familiar with Hussy, the following threads are a good starting point:


Due to the pandemic my husband has been working from home when possible. He cut back his hours to help more with our daughter's homeschooling. This has also given him more time to focus on Hussy.

Hussy is almost 18 years old. She claims to be 12 and my husband goes along with that lie. He has gone along with it for so long, that I think he has forgotten that she is a senior citizen.

Hussy has arthritis (allegedly) and her vision is getting bad. Other than those things, she is in good health for her age.

Hussy still runs the streets every chance she gets. She returns home limping, with dishevled fur and sometimes she stinks. Back in April she escaped and came back limping and with a cough (LSA you know what she had been up to). My husband determined that she had been exposed to COVID and decided she needed emergency treatment.

I didn't go with them to the vet, but my husband put me on speaker phone in case the vet wanted to ask me some questions...

The Vet: Hussy is 17 years old. She has normal issues for her age. She doesn't have COVID. She is has some allergies. It's most likely from a plant or flower that she came in contact with. I have discussed this with you on prior visits.

My Husband: Hussy is 12.

The Vet: Ummmm... Her chart says 17.

Hussy: Growls/talks shit.

My Husband: She's 12.

The Vet: Yeahhhhhh. She is doing great. Watch her arthritis. If it gets any worse, I have some treatments we can try.

My Husband: You didn't test her for COVID.

[Two minute silence...]

The Vet: You can pay the bill up front as usual.

I hung up my phone. I was happy that I didn't have to witness that shit in person. SMH.

My husband and Hussy arrived home. He was big mad at the vet and talked shit about him for 10 minutes. He called around to try to get an appointment for a second opinion and a Covid test for Hussy. Due to their past history with these other veterinarians, he couldn't find one who would give him an appointment.

He then proceeds to disinfect our house from top to bottom. He moved furniture and used a truckload of Lysol and disinfectant. The entire time, Hussy is following him from room to room (with no limp), telling him that the vet is incompetent. She kept doing sad little fake coughs and wheezes for sympathy. He put a Hepa air purifier in Hussy's room. He bathed Hussy's ass and she didn't put up a fight. She loves it when my husband trashes her veterinarian, so she was feeling real good about herself.



My daughter and my husband take long walks together. They have been doing it since she was a toddler. A month ago or so, I noticed that they had stopped taking walks together. I asked my daughter why and she said: "He's embarrassing."

She is at that age where kids are embarrased by anything their parents do, so I didn't think anything of it.

I was in our back yard a couple of weeks ago and I overheard my neighbors talking about my husband. One of them said: "It tickles me when I see Mr. HotDamn walking with Hussy." No biggie. Hussy follows him every where. Then I hear: "That little carrier is adorable."

Carrier?! WTF! I haul ass to our front porch to wait on my husband to get home. When he finally strolls up, he is carrying Hussy is in a baby sling! A. BABY. SLING!

I didn't say anything. I just stared at him.
giphy.gif

Hussy's smug ass was like...
lMoQY.gif

Finally he says: "Hussy's arthritis is flaring up and its safer if I carry her with the Covid rate being so high here."

I continue to stare...

giphy.gif

He then says: "Why are you looking at me like that. I got it out of the attic. You used it for HotDamn Jr."

Nah. I didn't use that sling for Jr. I didn't respond to him. I went into the house to pull the receipts. He bought the sling on Amazon in November.

717fErJSL0L._SL1500_.jpg


I showed him and he was like...

AntiqueFoolishCamel-small.gif

Now that I know about the sling, he has Hussy in it all the time. You would think that bitch has bound feet as much as he carries her around.

I haven't forgotten about Tom...

Hussy still wants Tom, but my husband has put a wrench in her love life. With him being home more she had to pretend to be a decent cat. She didn't want him to know the truth about her street heaux ways. Hussy is sneaky, so she still managed to meet up with Tom...

My husband jogs in the mornings. That has been his routine for years and he rarely deviates from it. Last week he changed up and went jogging one night. He caught Hussy with Tom a block over from our house. She ran when she saw my husband. Her old, arthritic ass beat him home. He stormed into the house. All red-faced and pissed off.

Y'all the hand wringing, lamenting, pleading and threats of animal control took me out.

"Where is your collar!" (In her room where she leaves it, when she is out slinging puss.)

"It's not safe for you to be out at night."

"That cat could have Covid. Do you want to be re-infected?" (If he don't stop with that shit.)

"Come here and give me a hug. You don't know any better do you?"

"I will call animal control if he keeps bothering you." (His silly ass knows that Hussy stalks Tom.)

He put her ass on lockdown. Hussy was mad as fuck at my husband. She wouldn't look at him. She ignored him when he called her name. For two days after she got caught, she would flip her food bowl over if my husband tried to feed her. If he came into a room where she was, she would leave.

I loved it. My husband was getting the real Hussy treatment. She finally showed him what she is really about. That was the best Christmas I could get.

Y'all are wondering why I am up on Christmas day posting on LSA when all is right in my world...

When I woke up this morning, I saw a small Christmas tree in Hussy's room with presents under it. It wasn't there when I went to bed. Hussy is stretched out under it on a heating pad.


w5rL3Ch.jpg

[This is a Hussy look alike. Her actual photo is down in the thread.]
It seems like Hussy and my husband are a couple again.

Merry Christmas to me...

 
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Omg you're so crazy:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:.
I love love love your imagination.
You are totally wasting your talent sis, with some silly illustrations this could be a wonderful collection of stories.(y)
#getyourbag
 

O.o

בְּרֵאשִׁית, בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים, אֵת הַשָּׁמַיִם
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Sis, I feel very ambivalent. First I want to duff Hussy out then hug her. So many emotions reading what you wrote. LOL!
Me too!!!! I want to roll up on Hussy for trying to fling it around IN HOT DAMNS OWN HOUSE!!!! TRYING TO RUN HER HOUSE....

whew let me calm down and go back to laughing my ass off.

@HotDamn got a whole hoe ass pet in her damn house!!!! :LOL:
 
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You are absolutely hilarious. And even though I don't like Hussy's heaux ass for your sake, she does look beautiful in that pic.


ETA: Oh I see that's not really her w/the Christmas glow. Fcuk Tom for living up to the stereotypes about black... cats. :cautious:

Yeah, you made my day w/this shit. Let me catch up on the Hussy Chronicles. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
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Y'all wanted a Hussy update so here is a brief one. It has been a while and she has pulled a lot of shit, but I am going to focus on some of her COVID era fuckery

For anyone who isn't familiar with Hussy, the following threads are a good starting point:


Due to the pandemic my husband has been working from home when possible. He cut back his hours to help more with our daughter's homeschooling. This has also given him more time to focus on Hussy.

Hussy is almost 18 years old. She claims to be 12 and my husband goes along with that lie. He has gone along with it for so long, that I think he has forgotten that she is a senior citizen.

Hussy has arthritis (allegedly) and her vision is getting bad. Other than those things, she is in good health for her age.

Hussy still runs the streets every chance she gets. She returns home limping, with dishevled fur and sometimes she stinks. Back in April she escaped and came back limping and with a cough (LSA you know what she had been up to). My husband determined that she had been exposed to COVID and decided she needed emergency treatment.

I didn't go with them to the vet, but my husband put me on speaker phone in case the vet wanted to ask me some questions...

The Vet: Hussy is 17 years old. She has normal issues for her age. She doesn't have COVID. She is has some allergies. It's most likely from a plant or flower that she came in contact with. I have discussed this with you on prior visits.

My Husband: Hussy is 12.

The Vet: Ummmm... Her chart says 17.

Hussy: Growls/talks shit.

My Husband: She's 12.

The Vet: Yeahhhhhh. She is doing great. Watch her arthritis. If it gets any worse, I have some treatments we can try.

My Husband: You didn't test her for COVID.

[Two minute silence...]

The Vet: You can pay the bill up front as usual.

I hung up my phone. I was happy that I didn't have to witness that shit in person. SMH.

My husband and Hussy arrived home. He was big mad at the vet and talked shit about him for 10 minutes. He called around to try to get an appointment for a second opinion and a Covid test for Hussy. Due to their past history with these other veterinarians, he couldn't find one who would give him an appointment.

He then proceeds to disinfect our house from top to bottom. He moved furniture and used a truckload of Lysol and disinfectant. The entire time, Hussy is following him from room to room (with no limp), telling him that the vet is incompetent. She kept doing sad little fake coughs and wheezes for sympathy. He put a Hepa air purifier in Hussy's room. He bathed Hussy's ass and she didn't put up a fight. She loves it when my husband trashes her veterinarian, so she was feeling real good about herself.



My daughter and my husband take long walks together. They have been doing it since she was a toddler. A month ago or so, I noticed that they had stopped taking walks together. I asked my daughter why and she said: "He's embarrassing."

She is at that age where kids are embarrased by anything their parents do, so I didn't think anything of it.

I was in our back yard a couple of weeks ago and I overheard my neighbors talking about my husband. One of them said: "It tickles me when I see Mr. HotDamn walking with Hussy." No biggie. Hussy follows him every where. Then I hear: "That little carrier is adorable."

Carrier?! WTF! I haul ass to our front porch to wait on my husband to get home. When he finally strolls up, he is carrying Hussy is in a baby sling! A. BABY. SLING!

I didn't say anything. I just stared at him.
giphy.gif

Hussy's smug ass was like...
lMoQY.gif

Finally he says: "Hussy's arthritis is flaring up and its safer if I carry her with the Covid rate being so high here."

I continue to stare...

giphy.gif

He then says: "Why are you looking at me like that. I got it out of the attic. You used it for HotDamn Jr."

Nah. I didn't use that sling for Jr. I didn't respond to him. I went into the house to pull the receipts. He bought the sling on Amazon in November.


I showed him and he was like...

AntiqueFoolishCamel-small.gif

Now that I know about the sling, he has Hussy in it all the time. You would think that bitch has bound feet as much as he carries her around.

I haven't forgotten about Tom...

Hussy still wants Tom, but my husband has put a wrench in her love life. With him being home more she had to pretend to be a decent cat. She didn't want him to know the truth about her street heaux ways. Hussy is sneaky, so she still managed to meet up with Tom...

My husband jogs in the mornings. That has been his routine for years and he rarely deviates from it. Last week he changed up and went jogging one night. He caught Hussy with Tom a block over from our house. She ran when she saw my husband. Her old, arthritic ass beat him home. He stormed into the house. All red-faced and pissed off.

Y'all the hand wringing, lamenting, pleading and threats of animal control took me out.

"Where is your collar!" (In her room where she leaves it, when she is out slinging puss.)

"It's not safe for you to be out at night."

"That cat could have Covid. Do you want to be re-infected?" (If he don't stop with that shit.)

"Come here and give me a hug. You don't know any better do you?"

"I will call animal control if he keeps bothering you." (His silly ass knows that Hussy stalks Tom.)

He put her ass on lockdown. Hussy was mad as fuck at my husband. She wouldn't look at him. She ignored him when he called her name. For two days after she got caught, she would flip her food bowl over if my husband tried to feed her. If he came into a room where she was, she would leave.

I loved it. My husband was getting the real Hussy treatment. She finally showed him what she is really about. That was the best Christmas I could get.

Y'all are wondering why I am up on Christmas day posting on LSA when all is right in my world...

When I woke up this morning, I saw a small Christmas tree in Hussy's room with presents under it. It wasn't there when I went to bed. Hussy is stretched out under it on a heating pad.

w5rL3Ch.jpg

It looks like Hussy and my husband are a couple again.

Merry Christmas to me...


You are an excellent writer. Merry Christmas to you, your hubby, child, and definitely to Hussy!
 
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I didn't know there was a ongoing cat chronicles about this cat named Hussy. I would love to see the next installment of this series. I laughed out loud at quite a few parts. I can't be home for Christmas this year, so this cheered me up a bit. Thanks OP.
 
I secured the ring with this hair & clean panties
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Okay I was absolutely done at the baby carrier.

What is wrong with him?

When it comes to Hussy he is stupid. She lies and believes her.

Last year he called the police on some neighbors, because their 4th of July fireworks were disturbing Hussy. Old white people beefing over fireworks. SMH. Sometimes I pretend I don't know him.
 

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