Quantcast
  • Don't post about your friends here. Post issues with your friends on the Front Porch.

Cutting off contact with your family

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,407
Reaction score
Reactions
2,689,559 494,994 222,879
2,889,470
Alleybux
668,824
im right there. I've done it before for weeks at a time, but I think I'm really ready to just tell them they can go their way, and I wk go mine. Anyone have any experiences? I was talking to my sister and I thought (before our fight where she was horrible to me, even) I don't even like you. If you weren't my sister, I'd never be friends with you. I was sorting donations for my work and we send them to a thrift store and use the money to provide shelter to people who have nowhere else to go. I said some stuff came in in my size and I want to go to the store and buy it. She seriously said, "you should just take it." WHAT THE fµck? It would cost like $10 to just buy it! How can someone justify stealing from people who come to us with the clothes on their backs? What am I missing out on my NOT talking to these people?
 

JustLivingTv

Fck |Love|Friendship & yo phony apologies
Joined
Jan 20, 2016
Messages
36,051
Solutions
1
Reaction score
Reactions
97,021 9,671 9,135
95,744
Alleybux
106,400
You don't have to notify nobody who you want to expire in your life.

Just leave their ass alone and they'll fall in line and get it.

If they don't who gives a fµck.

fµck em!!
 

Kiki Elsi

Trampled Roses Radio
Joined
Jan 2, 2016
Messages
1,330
Reaction score
Reactions
10,642 179 177
11,123
Alleybux
340
Yeah. I’m about to ghost after my sons’ birthday party in a few weeks. I like my mental space and energy and they just drain it.
 

Maddieandme

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 24, 2015
Messages
6,362
Reaction score
Reactions
98,175 3,237 2,058
96,119
Alleybux
0
Yes, you’ll live and they will still be miserable just like you left them. I’ve been on LC for 15 years from my entire family since I was a teenager. You’re important too, you’re feeling matter. Stop setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

GotSomethingToSay

Team Owner
Joined
Jul 14, 2018
Messages
19,302
Reaction score
Reactions
133,710 9,034 5,302
136,488
Alleybux
47,000
Divorce them. Let them go. A lot of times our families are the source of our issues. When we are not around them, we process and heal, only to be taken back when they're around. No one deserves that. Guard your heart and mind. You don't owe anyone anything but yourself.
 

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,407
Reaction score
Reactions
2,689,559 494,994 222,879
2,889,470
Alleybux
668,824
Yes, you’ll live and they will still be miserable just like you left them. I’ve been on LC for 15 years from my entire family since I was a teenager. You’re important too, you’re feeling matter. Stop setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Divorce them. Let them go. A lot of times our families are the source of our issues. When we are not around them, we process and heal, only to be taken back when they're around. No one deserves that. Guard your heart and mind. You don't owe anyone anything but yourself.

Oddly enough, I counsel women leaving domestic violence situations and I always remind them that they matter, they don't deserve this, etc. but it is nice to hear someone say it to me. Thank you.

Judging from the phone call tonight, they're severing ties with ME, so I guess I have nothing to worry about?
 

choklitdrm

General Manager
Joined
Apr 15, 2018
Messages
1,903
Reaction score
Reactions
6,345 181 43
7,133
Alleybux
8,088
yeah, i went through that with my sis and yes, your people (friends, family, significant other) will usually do you the worst, smh. you deserve peace.
 

Gummibear

General Manager
Joined
Jul 8, 2015
Messages
1,564
Reaction score
Reactions
9,182 1,064 1,020
8,171
Alleybux
399,207
Divorce them. Let them go. A lot of times our families are the source of our issues. When we are not around them, we process and heal, only to be taken back when they're around. No one deserves that. Guard your heart and mind. You don't owe anyone anything but yourself.
Divorce them. Let them go. A lot of times our families are the source of our issues. When we are not around them, we process and heal, only to be taken back when they're around. No one deserves that. Guard your heart and mind. You don't owe anyone anything but yourself.[/QUOTE

:good
 

SchizoBun

Tarot Readings at ALDivination.etsy.com
Joined
Dec 31, 2018
Messages
9,984
Reaction score
Reactions
81,376 1,503 156
92,603
Alleybux
16,500
I haven't spoken to my sister since last April. It was her choice She's generally unhappy with her life and apparently my contentment with mine gets too much for her to handle, so she's done it a few times before. For the sake of my mother, I'd always be the one to go to her and smooth it over. This time I was like...cool, if this is how you want it. Haven't looked back, no regrets at all.

Blood ties be damned, if you cause me stress you can get gone.
 

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,407
Reaction score
Reactions
2,689,559 494,994 222,879
2,889,470
Alleybux
668,824
You talked about cutting them off, but instead they cut you off. Hmmm... Let me just reserve my comment.

My mother is a narcissist alcoholic who has abused me (and other people) my entire life, and my sister is a baby momma of 4 who "can't work" and is a lifelong recipient of welfare who thinks it's okay to steal from homeless people's resources. I assure you, I'm not the one with a problem here.

I've graduated college, served in the military, owned my own homes, worked my whole life since age 15 (even two-three jobs at times.) The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to keep my job.
 

Sista Saved

The BLESSED Font
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
23,172
Reaction score
Reactions
137,638 11,156 10,179
129,686
Alleybux
61,761
My mother is a narcissist alcoholic who has abused me (and other people) my entire life, and my sister is a baby momma of 4 who "can't work" and is a lifelong recipient of welfare who thinks it's okay to steal from homeless people's resources. I assure you, I'm not the one with a problem here.

I've graduated college, served in the military, owned my own homes, worked my whole life since age 15 (even two-three jobs at times.) The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to keep my job.

I guess you feel, it makes you better than them. Yet they cut you off in a matter of hours before you decided to cut them off. Mmm hmmm... I will reserve my comment.
 

GotSomethingToSay

Team Owner
Joined
Jul 14, 2018
Messages
19,302
Reaction score
Reactions
133,710 9,034 5,302
136,488
Alleybux
47,000
I guess you feel, it makes you better than them. Yet they cut you off in a matter of hours before you decided to cut them off. Mmm hmmm... I will reserve my comment.
Yes, I think it is best you "reserve your comment" because you are not compassionate about her situation and understanding what she is saying. Maybe I can help by putting it in LSA language: if a man treats you wrong and then walks out on you. Do you chase him?
 

GotSomethingToSay

Team Owner
Joined
Jul 14, 2018
Messages
19,302
Reaction score
Reactions
133,710 9,034 5,302
136,488
Alleybux
47,000
My mother is a narcissist alcoholic who has abused me (and other people) my entire life, and my sister is a baby momma of 4 who "can't work" and is a lifelong recipient of welfare who thinks it's okay to steal from homeless people's resources. I assure you, I'm not the one with a problem here.

I've graduated college, served in the military, owned my own homes, worked my whole life since age 15 (even two-three jobs at times.) The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to keep my job.
Stop explaining yourself and going back and forth with this person.

Follow YOUR heart. Do what is best for YOU. If your family mistreats/disrespects you or makes you feel unhappy, Let. Them. Go.
 

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,407
Reaction score
Reactions
2,689,559 494,994 222,879
2,889,470
Alleybux
668,824
I guess you feel, it makes you better than them. Yet they cut you off in a matter of hours before you decided to cut them off. Mmm hmmm... I will reserve my comment.

Stop explaining yourself and going back and forth with this person.

Follow YOUR heart. Do what is best for YOU. If your family mistreats/disrespects you or makes you feel unhappy, Let. Them. Go.

Thank you, but I'm also at a point in my life where I'm just done taking people's crap, and that applies here as well.

My mother calls me drunk, screaming that she will cut off all contact with me anytime there's a problem. This has been happening my entire life. This is NOT a normal maternal response- to tell your damned kid you wish you gave them up for adoption like she did my brother. Hell, when I was still in high school, she literally said if she had to do it again, she'd have an abortion. So, do you have comments on that? Because that is verbal abuse and incredibly cruel and NO ONE deserves that. I bet your own mother is sober as a judge and you simply have no idea what it is like when someone is in a blackout and out of control and you have to deal with their wrath.

And I've spent my entire career working with low income people, most of whom have much less resources than my mother, and zero education beyond high school. Never has one person said I thought I was better than them. It's not like, being in these professions, I'm making so much money and lording it over people lol. I'm struggling too.

Keep going with the reasons why they're right. It's people like you that feed ideas to people that abuse is okay. This is why people stay. I see it in my line of work. I know enough to know abuse when I see it, and this sort of thing is NOT okay. Like I say to the women I work with all the time, no one deserves this.
 

Sista Saved

The BLESSED Font
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
23,172
Reaction score
Reactions
137,638 11,156 10,179
129,686
Alleybux
61,761
Thank you, but I'm also at a point in my life where I'm just done taking people's crap, and that applies here as well.

My mother calls me drunk, screaming that she will cut off all contact with me anytime there's a problem. This has been happening my entire life. This is NOT a normal maternal response- to tell your damned kid you wish you gave them up for adoption like she did my brother. Hell, when I was still in high school, she literally said if she had to do it again, she'd have an abortion. So, do you have comments on that? Because that is verbal abuse and incredibly cruel and NO ONE deserves that. I bet your own mother is sober as a judge and you simply have no idea what it is like when someone is in a blackout and out of control and you have to deal with their wrath.

And I've spent my entire career working with low income people, most of whom have much less resources than my mother, and zero education beyond high school. Never has one person said I thought I was better than them. It's not like, being in these professions, I'm making so much money and lording it over people lol. I'm struggling too.

Keep going with the reasons why they're right. It's people like you that feed ideas to people that abuse is okay. This is why people stay. I see it in my line of work. I know enough to know abuse when I see it, and this sort of thing is NOT okay. Like I say to the women I work with all the time, no one deserves this.

What I know is that an apple never falls far from the tree. Anyone who claims their family is toxic, likely has those same traits. I have seen it time and time again. Whether they cut you off or you cut them off, it's a blessing for both parties.
 

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,407
Reaction score
Reactions
2,689,559 494,994 222,879
2,889,470
Alleybux
668,824
Ok. Whatever. We will see how my mom feels about cutting off a stable person when she's on her deathbed with my idiot sister in attendance.

This is really hard, but I'm not talking to my mom at all. It just sucks, and it hurts to feel like she doesn't give a sh!t either way.
 

ItsCookieC.

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 26, 2012
Messages
21,010
Reaction score
Reactions
180,907 6,914 2,209
191,153
Alleybux
943,737
What I know is that an apple never falls far from the tree. Anyone who claims their family is toxic, likely has those same traits. I have seen it time and time again. Whether they cut you off or you cut them off, it's a blessing for both parties.

You speak such hatefulness on this site. But no worries. The universe is sure to humble your ass in the worst way possible.

It’s always the faux bible thumping religious zealots that are the most insufferable. That’s why I avoid your type like the plague.

You should have kept scrolling instead of coming in here to gaslight the OP. But per usual, you gotta let us know how lowdown you are. You don’t even know OP to tell her she’s the problem.

Stop letting the devil use you, child of God :sneaky:
 

Abstract Poetic

RudeKid
Joined
Nov 7, 2010
Messages
15,800
Reaction score
Reactions
55,545 1,034 670
58,683
Alleybux
280,174
You speak such hatefulness on this site. But no worries. The universe is sure to humble your ass in the worst way possible.

It’s always the faux bible thumping religious zealots that are the most insufferable. That’s why I avoid your type like the plague.

You should have kept scrolling instead of coming in here to gaslight the OP. But per usual, you gotta let us know how lowdown you are. You don’t even know OP to tell her she’s the problem.

Stop letting the devil use you, child of God :sneaky:

She is such a hateful ass hoe, I think there’s something mentally wrong with her. Ain’t nothing worse than a fake ass Christian that puts others down but want to act self-righteous and beat people with the Bible. She’s those types that feel like folks should put up with abusive relatives and she even told a user a while ago how she was selfish for not celebrating Christmas for her kid.
 

FebruaryAmor

Team Owner
Joined
Feb 12, 2012
Messages
11,436
Reaction score
Reactions
74,600 2,384 362
82,679
Alleybux
668,868
I feel you completely! The only person I care about is my mom

I was telling a friend (which I regret) how I want to move out of state. And they were like .. you want to move away from home ?

And I thought .. this concept of home .. what does it mean ?

Is home where you grew up and your family? What if your family is toxic and abusive ? What if the town you live in is leaving you complacent and not making you grow ? Is that home?

I answered .. Home is within me . Wherever I go is home . And people that care about me is home .

I believe if you’re in a situation that is depleting you , you should leave .


We only have one life
 

Similar Threads

News Alley

Ask LSA

Top Bottom