Cutting Off Family

SungQueen's B*tch
Jan 10, 2008
1,528,043 187,486 118,429
I need to vent, but it would be helpful if someone could offer advice to possibly look at things differently.

I have a sibling that I am pretty much on the verge of cutting off for good. This person is middle aged and have been a drug addict for quite some time. Drug of choice was crack at least initially and now I believe at this point alcohol and prescription pills. Bottom line, IMO whatever they are doing, their brain is fried. Most of the time, their conversations doesn't make sense.

This sibling goes through periods of distancing themselves from family and no one hears from them for months and even up to a year. Even when a family member passed they refused to speak to anyone. They have been in at least one inpatient program that I know of.

When this person started speaking to me again, they stopped around Xmas. Prior to that, I was speaking to them to up 5 times a day! I called on New Years and they didn't answer the phone. I didn't trip because they could've been in jail, rehab or binging. They are known for disappearing for two weeks at a time. Today I get a call with a request for a $50.00 loan to be "wired" not mailed to them. The reason is so they can get themselves together to apply for a job, and once/if they get their disability approved, they would pay me back. This person has an always employed spouse and they are still together, also an employed adult child who could help. I call bs. I responded that I am not familiar with wiring money and I don't know where to go. I told them I would call them back because I needed to figure this out. I never called back and I am thinking that I should've been straight with them. I was so angry after I thought about their request and the fact they left a nasty message the first time they called and I didn't answer, because I was at an appointment. They berated me for not answering the phone and stated that we weren't that close anyway. They apologized but still. They called back not that long ago and left another message that I haven't listened to.

I am almost certain that I will not initiate any further contact and if I do answer any more calls, it won't be anytime soon. I'm at my fed up point and while the thought of losing contact with this sibling is troubling , I feel almost abused because of years of dealing with their issues. Is there anyone reading who had to cut of fam due to drug abuse or mental illness?
Well-Known Member
May 27, 2012
8,539 354 44
I fully support cutting off unhealthy people from your life. I have not had to deal with anybody on drugs or with a documented mental illness but i'm sure that's tough.
Apr 26, 2014
8,561 154 6
I know you love this person, but it's hard & stressful on you, so yeah I think you should just cut them off. I have an aunt who was on crack since I was born & just got clean completely 3 years ago. I just turned 20 the beginning of this month. They'll get the help they need when they're ready. No matter how much you try to help them, they have to do it for them when they're completely ready. I hope this helps you a little bit.

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