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Dating in London as a darker skinned woman

Naija40

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@KMoor
All these women are apparently so pretty and beautiful until it’s time to show pictures.

Exactly. It's also the arrogance and level of entitlement BW like @godisgood have.

If a black footballer has reached the top of their sport, that means he has gone through under 10s, 11s, 12s, 13s, 14s 15s, youth team, reserve team, turned up every week, sacrificed, applied himself, beat thousands of others kids and let's be honest, most black footballers are not from rich background and often they to deal with pressure of their whole family on them to succeed, the pressure of being raised into a deprived are, the traps that are set for young blk boys living in those areas

If they are gonna pass all them tests ? They should be able to bang as many women as they want !!!!!!!!

Even regular black guys should be allowed to flex their options. Some of the women are ridiculous with their entitlement.
 

AfroFire

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This is true, but a lot of triggered people will refute this even though it is the truth.

There are many areas up north where the mixed race population is massive but the full black population in comparison is miniscule.

I have a friend of Nigerian origin from Manchester and she was one of the only full black girls in her school, everyone else was white or mixed.

My friend had to overcome a lot of low self esteem issues and growing up she even wished she was mixed so she could fit in with her peers.

I have come across so many entitled white identified mixed people who are super anti black whilst being very aware that their proximity to whiteness makes them more palatable and liked.

One thing they shared in common with an absentee black father and being raised by a white mother.
Yep but you know people dont like to hear the truth.
The "Inclusive/Blending" culture in the UK is not making things better, because that means that we are not allowed to talk about race and that "BLACK AND WHITE" does not exist (in other words racism does not exist in the UK), which is bullsh*t cause everything always favours the White peeps.
Am so sorry what your friend went through, we've all had our challenges (unfortunately growing up in a pre-dominantly White area/country is not beneficial for a Black childs selfesteem ), Mixed Raced kids also go through racism take Lewis Hamilton as an example, so they are not exempt no matter how White identified they are.

I live in a predominately White area in The South, and I have a neighbour who is this obese White woman who has 4 kids whit this skinny Black guy, She is on benefits and he is a dusty with an unstable job (he wears the same Lakers jersey), its just sad to see.
But we have a racist scum of a neighbour, she always acknowledge the other white kids but always disregard the Bi-racial kids, its really sad, this also contributes to them resenting their Black side and wanting to be White.
Most of their White mothers dont care, no offence but if you look at them, they are basically "High valued White Men Rejects"
 

Naija40

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You now what, I did not want to state the obvious but it's so true.
Most of these Biracials are so white identified and baically dont Care about their Black side (Cant say I blame them, when their fathers are colourist and selfhaters)
I dont like generalizing but I have never ever seen a Carribean man in the UK marrying their own.
And usually they impregnate those racist white women in the North (The most Chavalistic areas up North)
The Sad part is that the Caribbean population keeps decreasing in the UK, as many of them outbreed their race.
95% of Mixed people end up with White Men or Women

You're not around of us properly that's why. Imagine saying you've never even seen a marriage smh. In regards to biracials their white mothers wanted them. They raise them and thus that's the only thing they know. Those that are raised by both tend to date mixed/black guys. That being said as folks assimilate into the middle class. That may change and folks may date IR depending on their circumstances.

We are not decreasing either. Our numbers have stabilized around 500k and without immigration and having loads of children again folks it gives the impression our numbers are decreasing rapidly when that's not the case.
 
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HopeAndSlop

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@Sarah Djebu
I dont like generalizing but I have never ever seen a Carribean man in the UK marrying their own. And usually they impregnate those racist white women in the North (The most Chavalistic areas up North)The Sad part is that the Caribbean population keeps decreasing in the UK, as many of them outbreed their race.95% of Mixed people end up with White Men or Women

You talk like black men just have tons of hot black women trying to get at us and we say "No !!! I want a white woman!!" .

When you see a BM . I really want you to look and observe and you'll see 95% of the time they will be on their own. They will be walking on their own. They will getting on their bus on their own. They will be shopping at the Asda / Tesco's on their own.

See women have a "Box" that just makes you wanted by default. It's not like that for guys

So don't bring me "No one want BW crap" I see it with women in my family. Even though they have kids. They can still get men.

They get black men from dating apps, drive 40 miles to meet them and leave after 15 mins and give the "No spark - connection -" but then will date a white dude and all a sudden "these black men didn't want me"

Just total nonsense




 

ChocolateCandi

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What on earth are you on about? By bringing up my looks when you know nothing about me besides my LSA profile?

I am not "worried" about fat and ugly white women, I was simply making an observation based on the interracial couples I have grown up seeing here in the UK.

Always gaslighting black women by implying we must be unattractive for pointing out what we notice.

Bloody hell.
He attacked me for being hypocritical when I stated I liked taller men and preferred African men who were not from my country due to this. He said I was no one to judge a black men for preferring lighter skinned women. Mind you, nothing I mentioned in my post had anything to do with men and their preferences. I’m not even in England. I’m in the US. He is touched.
 
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HopeAndSlop

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@Sarah Djebu
I live in a predominately White area in The South, and I have a neighbour who is this obese White woman who has 4 kids whit this skinny Black guy, She is on benefits and he is a dusty with an unstable job (he wears the same Lakers jersey), its just sad to see.

What's sad to see ? Let me get this right. An inshape black man that isn't rich is raising a family with a white woman who is overweight ?

Tell me what is doing that is so awful because I'm struggling here ? Don't tell me what you think he IS. Tell me what he is doing that is so awful ?

I think what really annoys you is that you probably moved to this white area to get AWAY from black people. So you see another black person and you get vexed. That's the self hate in YOU

See me ? I don't care if a black person is poor. If you're cool with me. I'm cool with you.


@Sarah Djebu
But we have a racist scum of a neighbour, she always acknowledge the other white kids but always disregard the Bi-racial kids, its really sad, this also contributes to them resenting their Black side and wanting to be White.

Right. So you have a racist neighbour. What's your point ?
 

JaniraBorges

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Yep but you know people dont like to hear the truth.
The "Inclusive/Blending" culture in the UK is not making things better, because that means that we are not allowed to talk about race and that "BLACK AND WHITE" does not exist (in other words racism does not exist in the UK), which is bullsh*t cause everything always favours the White peeps.
Am so sorry what your friend went through, we've all had our challenges (unfortunately growing up in a pre-dominantly White area/country is not beneficial for a Black childs selfesteem ), Mixed Raced kids also go through racism take Lewis Hamilton as an example, so they are not exempt no matter how White identified they are.

I live in a predominately White area in The South, and I have a neighbour who is this obese White woman who has 4 kids whit this skinny Black guy, She is on benefits and he is a dusty with an unstable job (he wears the same Lakers jersey), its just sad to see.
But we have a racist scum of a neighbour, she always acknowledge the other white kids but always disregard the Bi-racial kids, its really sad, this also contributes to them resenting their Black side and wanting to be White.
Most of their White mothers dont care, no offence but if you look at them, they are basically "High valued White Men Rejects"
My mums neighbour is an obese white woman with a mixed race son. Her son's father is nowhere to be seen.

One of my brothers friends has an Irish mum and a Nigerian father. He has not seen his father for years.

I always see busted white women with mixed kids, I have seen this since my childhood.

I have come across many self hating whitewashed mixed people, but they tend to take out their anger on their black side...never their white parent or family. Which I find very telling.
 

emmalinavirg

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Caribbean black British men are single handily responsible for the super high mixed race (black mixed with white population)....there are now more mixed race British toddlers of Caribbean origin than full black.

This former friend of mine has an older brother who has 6 kids by 5 different women. 5 of the 6 kids are with white women, and the 6th child's mum is mixed.

Me and the girl stopped talking after I simply said I find it weird how British Caribbean men have kids with the most random and busted white women...she obviously took the comment to heart because of her brother, even though I wasn't referring to him.
This is sooo true! Literally every biracial that I find on social media (that's from Britain or Canada) has a Caribbean black dad.
 

HopeAndSlop

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@JaniraBorges
There are many areas up north where the mixed race population is massive but the full black population in comparison is miniscule.

Yup. I live up here in Liverpool and there is a lot of truth to your comment. It's go to a point where you have a lot of (And I don't want to use this term) but "quadroons" that's people who have one mixed raced parent and another white

But also remember there is not a lot of BW up north. Most of the blk immigrants who come into the country are men.
A lot of the times these BM don't want to be with the white girls and it was just fun

@JaniraBorges

I have a friend of Nigerian origin from Manchester and she was one of the only full black girls in her school, everyone else was white or mixed.

I honestly think if it wasn't for the fresh of the boat African's or Carribbeans there wouldn't be that many throughbred blk ppl up here. But I also think we don't have a solid family structure that set's us up with marriage. Once black men turn 16. We are kinda just thrown out there. Most of us are freestyling life and don't have that solid direction

@JaniraBorges

I have come across so many entitled white identified mixed people who are super anti black whilst being very aware that their proximity to whiteness makes them more palatable and liked.

They become super mililtant pro black or they go the other way and have mainly white friends, white thinking etc




 

Naija40

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Lol. I'm definitely not unattractive. I get told regular that I'm very beautiful and stunning and I wear very little to no make up. Try again hunny

I can vouch for this she's a beautiful black queen, not to mention she's intelligent and funny.
 
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yardieMamba

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haven't touched down in uk for a couple of years.. but I did see alot of young fully black couples .. my cousins are over there dating and married to black women..
the main one selling out are the carribean guys
 

Naija40

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But according to a lot of fonts, you should have it easy.




It's true you could hear it anywhere but conversations aren't likely to be that deep in passing. It's much more likely to stick if you're actively and frequently visiting these kind of spaces.

My post got groaned but I recognise those same talking points. People take for granted how damaging it is to the psyche.

She’s lighter skin but has monoracial features.
 
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112th Bwoy

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you might be out of luck in London. i seen more young white women with black men couples then young white women with white men over there. thats how extreme ir dating is.
 
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Caribbean black British men are single handily responsible for the super high mixed race (black mixed with white population)....there are now more mixed race British toddlers of Caribbean origin than full black.

This former friend of mine has an older brother who has 6 kids by 5 different women. 5 of the 6 kids are with white women, and the 6th child's mum is mixed.

Me and the girl stopped talking after I simply said I find it weird how British Caribbean men have kids with the most random and busted white women...she obviously took the comment to heart because of her brother, even though I wasn't referring to him.
Wow that’s sick. Do you have a source for me please?
 

Naija40

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Imagine fonts are pro-black until it comes to pushing harmful rhetoric about another group of black people.
 

keepitreal4eva

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So over the past year or so I feel like I’ve become very conscious of my skin when dating. I used to be so confident with my looks and if a guy wasn’t into me I never even considered it to be because of how I looked/my skin colour/features. Recently however I’ve began to feel like there isn’t a man for me here in the UK.

I’ve recently felt like the constant comparison to mixed race girls has just dampened my self esteem. Whenever I hear guys here talk of pretty women it’s always lighter skinned girls - they’ll only say black girls to avoid backlash and men I’ve met have always had mixed race exes, their next gf after me has been mixed or girls they compliment/consider attractive are mixed.

None of my close circle dark/darker skinned friends are in a relationship or have been in one for a long period, and they are genuinely pretty and university educated girls. They feel the same and it’s only when I’ve spoken to friends across the world/seen on sm that I’ve realised this seems to very much be just a UK problem. And that black women elsewhere are appreciated and sought after the same amount as any other race and by high calibre, very handsome men.

Men in the UK are very weird and it appears that unless you look like an actual supermodel (leomie Anderson, Nikki thot, Eva apio) then you can just forget it, unless you’re willing to compromise something like looks, style or charisma.

A mixed/Lightskin girl can be a 4/10 and dumb af, and she will be praised and sought after simply because she’s mixed. But a Black woman has to be the creme de la creme, and even then theres still room for critique and more often than not, she’ll have Black features that also happen to sit closer to the European beauty standard.

Has any other darker skinned black woman felt similar/experienced this in the UK and if you’re not from the UK, what is your experience dating? Or if you’ve experienced the opposite, then any tips?
You would do very well in American cities like Chicago, Dallas, Houston, New York, and Charlotte. I travel a lot and see tons of attractive, successful, black couples and communities in these cities. Los Angeles not so much... LA sounds like London
 

Ezra Miller

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Damn. I missed this thread. What a wild ride it was! Full of egoistic biracial and obviously light-skinned women with their heads in the sand. Yet many of these same fonts can be seen crying in other threads about racism. Go figure.
 

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The colourism from black men is crazy in the UK but at the same time we shouldn’t even complain. The majority are broke, not a masculine bone in their body and are not ready to be providers. As much as dsbw go through, we need to be with men who are ready to retire us and make life easier for us, which none of these men are ready for. Id say travel, branch out. As much as we want to be with dark skinned black men and be power couples, what do they actually bring to the table?? What morals and values can they teach our children? Dsbm who are masculine, have the funds to provide and the emotional maturity To be in relationships are so rare and imo not even worth losing sleep over. Travel!
 

Jamesstkanan

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The colourism from black men is crazy in the UK but at the same time we shouldn’t even complain. The majority are broke, not a masculine bone in their body and are not ready to be providers. As much as dsbw go through, we need to be with men who are ready to retire us and make life easier for us, which none of these men are ready for. Id say travel, branch out. As much as we want to be with dark skinned black men and be power couples, what do they actually bring to the table?? What morals and values can they teach our children? Dsbm who are masculine, have the funds to provide and the emotional maturity To be in relationships are so rare and imo not even worth losing sleep over. Travel!
Your profile picture says everything we need to know about you and why you are single.
 
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So I was complaining to a friend a few days ago (she is Asian) about my struggles dating as a black woman in this city. She was like to me maybe you're creating those negative situations and manifesting negative men because you believe you'll struggle. She was saying I should change my mindset and it will change my outcome. What do you guys think?
 
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I also know so many black couples with a dark skinned woman (mainly from Church though a few met on Hinge, Twitter and IG) but I also know so many gorgeous dark skinned women who are single. This city is weird. Im currently looking to meet someone myself and am trying to stay positive (as my friend suggested) and work on myself.

Im hearing apps are a colossal waste of time but I don't know where to meet people :/
 

Nolongerhere

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So I was complaining to a friend a few days ago (she is Asian) about my struggles dating as a black woman in this city. She was like to me maybe you're creating those negative situations and manifesting negative men because you believe you'll struggle. She was saying I should change my mindset and it will change my outcome. What do you guys think?
There is some truth to this. I think if you would really like a partner, you may need to approach dating the way you would do job searching which is a different mindset.

So you could try all of the following options:

• Use Eventbrite for dating events (if they may have some).

• Put time aside everyday to use various dating websites and keep track of the few prospects that you interact with. If a few aren’t good matches, move on the same way you would if a job interview didn’t work out rather than dwell on a few bad dates.

• Join Meet-up groups etc for your hobbies.

It is easier said then done but doable. It also depends if like some people you only have a certain ‘type’ and not willing to open options. Hope it works out for you.
 

Onvogue

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What are your experiences with African men ?
I find some of them quite intense and quite full on
 

StephSydney

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So I was complaining to a friend a few days ago (she is Asian) about my struggles dating as a black woman in this city. She was like to me maybe you're creating those negative situations and manifesting negative men because you believe you'll struggle. She was saying I should change my mindset and it will change my outcome. What do you guys think?
I think that’s nonsense.
 

Badbodee

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So I was complaining to a friend a few days ago (she is Asian) about my struggles dating as a black woman in this city. She was like to me maybe you're creating those negative situations and manifesting negative men because you believe you'll struggle. She was saying I should change my mindset and it will change my outcome. What do you guys think?
There's truth in this - our subconscious mind is a powerful manifestation tool. Put simply, if you start your day by thinking your day is going to be sh!t, you can guarantee that your day will end up being sh!t as you've manifested that thought. If you flip it and tell yourself that you will have a good day & radiate the feeling of gratitude, warmth & positivity, watch how great your day will pan out.

There's lots of videos about changing your mindset on YouTube, trust me it works!
 

Ezra Miller

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So I was complaining to a friend a few days ago (she is Asian) about my struggles dating as a black woman in this city. She was like to me maybe you're creating those negative situations and manifesting negative men because you believe you'll struggle. She was saying I should change my mindset and it will change my outcome. What do you guys think?

(East) Asian women tend to rarely be single. Usually their men prefer to stay within the culture but the ladies are also desired by plenty of other ethnicities so she literally cannot relate to you.

There is some truth to keeping a "positive" mindset, but it's more important to look reality in the face rather than trying to fit a square ped into a round hole.
 

StephSydney

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(East) Asian women tend to rarely be single. Usually their men prefer to stay within the culture but the ladies are also desired by plenty of other ethnicities so she literally cannot relate to you.

There is some truth to keeping a "positive" mindset, but it's more important to look reality in the face rather than trying to fit a square ped into a round hole.
This is exactly what I thought. Although she maybe talking about Indian/Pakistani which is what we refer to when we say “Asian” in the UK.

But the main point is correct - dating as a DSBW is a very different experience.
 

Ezra Miller

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This is exactly what I thought. Although she maybe talking about Indian/Pakistani which is what we refer to when we say “Asian” in the UK.

But the main point is correct - dating as a DSBW is a very different experience.

I figured that that font was probably talking about an Indian woman, which is why I put east in parentheses.

Still, Indian and Pakistani women have more choices despite their men being obsessed with yt women mostly because they come from cultures that are strict with adhering to social norms and yt women usually aren't check for South Asians like that.
 
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This is exactly what I thought. Although she maybe talking about Indian/Pakistani which is what we refer to when we say “Asian” in the UK.

But the main point is correct - dating as a DSBW is a very different experience.
Yes my friend is Indian but only dates white men. She has always had both Asian men and white men approach her and has never really struggled to date. She genuinely believes if I change my mindset my outcome will be different but I do agree that we have completely different dating experiences.
 

StephSydney

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Yes my friend is Indian but only dates white men. She has always had both Asian men and white men approach her and has never really struggled to date. She genuinely believes if I change my mindset my outcome will be different but I do agree that we have completely different dating experiences.
This reminds me ont a friend of mine. She talks like this and reckons women who are single (when they don’t want to be) as just too fussy as she thinks it’s super easy to date.

My friend however is a goddess, a literal supermodel. She doesn’t get that that means she had a different dating experience!
 

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