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Do band-aid babies ever work?

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No and they're a terrible idea. I've noticed this odd disassociation where some people can't seem to realize that babies are just little humans that soon grow up to carry all the baggage their messed up parents have placed on them?
 
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I don't think so though I'm sure some will say yes. At best issa distraction or redirection if you will. But....as I type this I guess it depends on what yr band aiding. Some folks be ready to break up over bµllsh!t and a baby could bring awareness to priorities. That's a rare case tho. If yall finna break up bc yr "bored" or somebody never wants to go to brunch or something superficial sure. But typically there are bigger issues and no baby can fix it. Babies only heightened things. So if yr man is cheating or don't want you or yall going broke issa no. Babies don't him stay... in instances where he is ready to leave the baby gon make him stray if anything.
 

HelenSade

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No, because the issues aren't fertility or reproductive related in most cases. Adding a living breathing person to a negative situation is math that will never math, there are no gains to made in the situation. Children deserve active, purposeful parents not parents bringing them into situations to activate desirable traits or outcomes from the other party. Relationships are made up of people and just like people, you either have it or WORK to get it or you don't. Whatever you didn't have before the child arrived, you are doubly unlikely to get after they're born.

And from my personal observation, the resentment that ensues from having babies to prolong a marriage especially is horrible. The children really suffer.
 

Raspberry Beret

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I've never seen it work. This is a terrible way of thinking and it causes the child to suffer most of all.

Kids are work and make nothing easier. If your relationship/marriage is rocky and failing apart, a baby will not save it. If anything it will add more stress, heartache, and resentment. It will not keep keep a man (or a woman). A baby will also not magically change you into a better more stable person. Too many awful and sh!tty people have no business bringing a child into this world (I've seen this firsthand myself in my career).

Don't have babies unless you are emotionally, financially, and mentally capable of giving them the care and love they need with a solid foundation.
 

Amanda Woodward

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I've seen it work temporarily, twice. Like the man will stick around for a year after the baby is born, then ghost. I wish people would stop using it as a last-ditch effort to save their toxic relationship.
 

Jeff Bezos

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You two may not break up, but things will 99.99% not get better and may even get worse. Some people are able to hold that resentment in once the kids come into the world, but these situations seem to end up in one of three scenarios:

1. The couples stay together until the child is a young adult, or adult. They let the resentment or even hatred build up just because they wanted a two-parent home. The kid probably has an inkling something isn't completely right if you two are not Oscar-winning actors;

2. The couple stays together until their dying days, but when the first spouse dies the other's eyes will be dry. They may even be happy lmao! Again, your kid probably knows something was "off" with you two at the bare minimum;

3. The couple breaks up well before the child is a teen or by the time they're 16. Cue custody and/or child support battle and playing fetch with the child because they have to stay with one parent M-T and the other T-S. You most likely will need to invest in some counseling or full-blown therapy for your kid, especially if the custody battle and/or divorce was bitter. If you can't afford therapy for your kid, please look forward to them growing up with mental, emotional, and/or trust and self-worth issues :)

In all of these scenarios, they should have broken up before the woman even got pregnant or as soon as they found out. Normally kids brought into the world under any less-than-loving circumstance will end up figuring it out or being told (either point blank or through words/actions) that one or both parents didn't love each other or simply weren't right for one another.

The burden of knowing you are a child from a loveless union is a very bitter reality. Do not inflict that type of sh!t on an innocent child because you couldn't be woman or man enough to get counseling and/or leave.

TL;DR Don't do this dumb sh!t.
Children are people, not therapists, band-aids, healers, etc. If you are hollow inside or your relationship is garbage, don't bring a(nother) child into it? Tap into your common sense.
 
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Zebracake

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Nope! and even if the man is a good dad, he’ll pretty much add this as another layer of resentment .

(Not directed at OP, but just answering the question)
 

ShandraF

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so what happened to these couples?
I don't think so though I'm sure some will say yes. At best issa distraction or redirection if you will. But....as I type this I guess it depends on what yr band aiding. Some folks be ready to break up over bµllsh!t and a baby could bring awareness to priorities. That's a rare case tho. If yall finna break up bc yr "bored" or somebody never wants to go to brunch or something superficial sure. But typically there are bigger issues and no baby can fix it. Babies only heightened things. So if yr man is cheating or don't want you or yall going broke issa no. Babies don't him stay... in instances where he is ready to leave the baby gon make him stray if anything.

No, because the issues aren't fertility or reproductive related in most cases. Adding a living breathing person to a negative situation is math that will never math, there are no gains to made in the situation. Children deserve active, purposeful parents not parents bringing them into situations to activate desirable traits or outcomes from the other party. Relationships are made up of people and just like people, you either have it or WORK to get it or you don't. Whatever you didn't have before the child arrived, you are doubly unlikely to get after they're born.

And from my personal observation, the resentment that ensues from having babies to prolong a marriage especially is horrible. The children really suffer.

I've never seen it work. This is a terrible way of thinking and it causes the child to suffer most of all.

Kids are work and make nothing easier. If your relationship/marriage is rocky and failing apart, a baby will not save it. If anything it will add more stress, heartache, and resentment. It will not keep keep a man (or a woman). A baby will also not magically change you into a better more stable person. Too many awful and sh!tty people have no business bringing a child into this world (I've seen this firsthand myself in my career).

Don't have babies unless you are emotionally, financially, and mentally capable of giving them the care and love they need with a solid foundation.

You two may not break up, but things will 99.99% not get better and may even get worse. Some people are able to hold that resentment in once the kids come into the world, but these situations seem to end up in one of three scenarios:

1. The couples stay together until the child is a young adult, or adult. They let the resentment or even hatred build up just because they wanted a two-parent home. The kid probably has an inkling something isn't completely right if you two are not Oscar-winning actors;

2. The couple stays together until their dying days, but when the first spouse dies the other's eyes will be dry. They may even be happy lmao! Again, your kid probably knows something was "off" with you two at the bare minimum;

3. The couple breaks up well before the child is a teen or by the time they're 16. Cue custody and/or child support battle and playing fetch with the child because they have to stay with one parent M-T and the other T-S. You most likely will need to invest in some counseling or full-blown therapy for your kid, especially if the custody battle and/or divorce was bitter. If you can't afford therapy for your kid, please look forward to them growing up with mental, emotional, and/or trust and self-worth issues :)

In all of these scenarios, they should have broken up before the woman even got pregnant or as soon as they found out. Normally kids brought into the world under any less-than-loving circumstance will end up figuring it out or being told (either point blank or through words/actions) that one or both parents didn't love each other or simply weren't right for one another.

The burden of knowing you are a child from a loveless union is a very bitter reality. Do not inflict that type of sh!t on an innocent child because you couldn't be woman or man enough to get counseling and/or leave.

TL;DR Don't do this dumb sh!t.
Children are people, not therapists, band-aids, healers, etc. If you are hollow inside or your relationship is garbage, don't bring a(nother) child into it? Tap into your common sense.
 

doeeyedgirl

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No and they're a terrible idea. I've noticed this odd disassociation where some people can't seem to realize that babies are just little humans that soon grow up to carry all the baggage their messed up parents have placed on them?
Yep. Many parents bear children with the expectation that the child will "heal" them. What it usually turns into is a scapegoat to avoid doing the work on themselves thus putting undue burden on the child and helping no one.
 

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