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DO WE HAVE TO ATTEND A FORMAL CHURCH?

AshlandCortesso

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Debate: to be a true follower do you need to belong to a church?

I'm Christian and I can't stand other Christians. I want to follow God but I don't want to sit in a room full of toxic people/I feel like their hush hush secretive evil will rub off on me.

Obviously I would like to tithe to a church because the bible tells me to, however I don't want to ATTEND church. I want to do my studying on my own. Can I tithe to a small church I dont attend?
 

chanelframes

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I do what I want I praise God at home, I been doing virtual church before COVID, and I pay tithes to a charity and I also give to a smaller church that I like. I still pray still do bible study still fast etc. I feel like some toxic Christians get mad at that but oh well. I got tired of the pastor who is not a licensed therapist counseling me with a narcissistic parent (obviously it did not work out well). It was just a lot of stuff. My parent who is a narcissist also uses religion and prophetic words to control me. And people gossip too much and clique up. I feel like unless we address these real issues then people are going to leave.

Due to knowing God for myself, and having a relationship with him I have decided to stay a person of faith but if I did not know God for myself then I wld have stopped believing. People act like Jesus was at church every Sunday when he was literally traveling around and looking like a regular guy. So at the end of the day consult God but also do what is best for your mental health. The bible says be wise - I am wise enough to know if people in the church and in my family are constantly stressing me out then I will stay away.

To me there is no debate because you can either go to church all the time (do you), you can be someone who is discipline (me) who uses her faith as a lifestyle, or you can do both (virtual/lifestyle & in person).

I do not think that not attending church makes you less of a Christian (if you are keeping up with God in your everyday life). I feel like some toxic and spiritual narcissistic Christians use that to gaslight people to guilt-trip them for their own personal gain or they get off messing with others. Tbh, you do not even have to explain yourself to people. If you are more comfortable praying, doing bible study, paying tithes to a smaller church you do not attend then do that.
 

chanelframes

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Also, some people want to rest on Sundays. My pastor demanded we go to all three of his 3-hour services and I am sorry I love him but no.
 

ZHALEESI

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i had an encounter with a bunch of gossipy christians but i realised I can't overlook the good things about church because of them.. church hurt can't ruin my relationship with God. Just had to move on and find a good fellowship

This year, virtual church streamed on YT has been good for me. if you are truly growing spiritually, I'd say it can bridge the gap until you find a new church
 

InandAround

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I remember when I was younger I had a friend who was really judgmental about the fact my family didn't belong to a church. Since I considered them my best friend at the time, there as a moment where I felt "less than" but it took witnessing the way she and her parents weaponized being church goers in the strangest ways for me to feel more secure in the fact that I kinda stopped "growing up in the church" by the time I was 10. I'll never forget someone telling me that church aka the building itself wasn't needed to know God and worship and how church can be under a tree if need be.

I've thought about what I would do if I were to have children but I can't say for sure I want to go the formal church route. I've had quite a few off putting incidents that involved being locked in the church as some foreign pastor came in to listening to the way grown adults and their church politics knew no bounds and then being taken into separate rooms and being told I had to learn to speak in tongues to be a part of the church when I was taught by family that it is something that is one of the gifts and is God given and can't be forced... Maybe if my partner has a strong foundation that isn't sketchy to me, I'd allow him to help lead in that way. At least to get our feet wet.
 

Justa

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God wants for his flock to fellowship together, but not always will you find your right tribe. It will take time, stress, discernment, and effort. Trust in the lord to guide you to the right one. It's ok to take a break and focus on your solo journey with god.

When two or three are in his midst... :)
 

arethaspurse

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you are better off tithing to a church with a bigger population who does not know the names of 90% of their congregation.

a smaller church will begin to wonder who is the person who is giving tithes, lives only X miles away from their building, but has never shown their face. they may knock on your door, call your phone, or write a letter to you.

there are numerous churches out there and they are easier to investigate what they stand for and how they treat their members than ever. use this time to expand out of your comfort zone and church shop.
 

SilverQueen

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I miss the relationships that I had with people in my church growing up. So many of them were sweet and very much like family.

I tried finding the same in churches once I left home, but so many were cold and unfriendly from the door.

I've been without a church home for a while, and in this time I've drawn closer to God than I've ever been. I watch live services and sermons here and there during the week on YT.

Ideally, I'd love to meet with other believers on early Sunday afternoons in a park somewhere. We could have a short service, maybe picnic together, and then go home. We'd meet the first weekend in May through the last weekend in September and get together for dinner and fellowship together for Christmas and again in the spring for Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. As you can tell from my sparse details, I don't think about this often.

eta: I don't think it's compulsory that we attend a physical church, but I do think that we should convene with other believers whenever we are able. There are several verses in the Bible about friendship, and I think that's what believers are supposed to be for one another. God doesn't want us to be or feel alone, and having friends who are also people of faith, is a kind of covering, I think.
 
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Veecee1

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Debate: to be a true follower do you need to belong to a church?

I'm Christian and I can't stand other Christians. I want to follow God but I don't want to sit in a room full of toxic people/I feel like their hush hush secretive evil will rub off on me.

Obviously I would like to tithe to a church because the bible tells me to, however I don't want to ATTEND church. I want to do my studying on my own. Can I tithe to a small church I dont attend?
So how do you fellowship? How are you contributing to the body of Christ, but "can't stand" the body of Christ. Iron sharpens iron and that not only comes from studying the Word, but by engaging with believers who help you understand and hold you accountable when you fall short.
 

Chibuikem

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Debate: to be a true follower do you need to belong to a church?

I'm Christian and I can't stand other Christians. I want to follow God but I don't want to sit in a room full of toxic people/I feel like their hush hush secretive evil will rub off on me.

Obviously I would like to tithe to a church because the bible tells me to, however I don't want to ATTEND church. I want to do my studying on my own. Can I tithe to a small church I dont attend?

You should go to church or at least a online church to help you understand and study the bible better. We need to talk to others, specifically others who are more spiritually mature then we are. It helps us hear the voice of the Lord more accurately and clearly, then if we are by ourselves. The support is also good.
 

CerebralRecess

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Matthew 18:20. Where there are two or three gathered, God is in the midst or something to that effect. The point is, worship is a matter of the spirit, not pattern of behavior.
 

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