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Does anybody else think hooking up is dangerous?

itsmianya

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So I never could get into the mindset of hooking up with a stranger. Maybe I’ve been watching too much I.D channel but the thought of meeting a stranger at a bar or going on tinder for a one night stand sounds frightening. I feel like a woman does not know what that stranger man is capable of. He could beat, rape, remove the condom without your consent, lock you up in his basement for 25 years, or murder you. I had a friend who hooked up with a stranger once and he treated her poorly afterwards for no damn reason. After they were done, he threw a towel at her and demanded she leave.

Actually this goes for men too.

Back in December a man was killed by his Grindr date. The killer hung him upside down and cut off his scrotum then killed him, his name was Karl bacon. I knew a guy who would invite women from tinder to his place and he was robbed twice. Years ago there was a story on Fox News which described a man meeting a woman off of the internet and meeting at a hotel. Well when he walked into the room, there were men hiding and waiting on him. They raped and robbed him. Whenever I see my friends hookup with strangers, I can’t help but think they are bold. I’ve lost count of how many men from bumble gave me their address after a few of talking.

Am I the only person who thinks this way?
i feel the same way. I'm grossed out by the thought of having casual xes like this.

The possible diseases and the dangerousness associated with it is a huge turn off for me. I do not knock those who engage in that but can't be me
 
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Rose Belle

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1. Im repulsed at the thought of a stranger having physical access to me.

2. I think that is for ugly people and for financial transactions and I dont fit those categories.

3. A guy ive known my whole life was brutally assaulted by a stranger that he hooked up with. Raped and almost murdered. The man did everything including fisting and threatened to kidnap him. He detailed it in a book. If I can figure out how to post a link, i will come back and edit and post.
The true story will scare you and make you be prudent b4 and hookups.

Do you remember seeing a thread on here about someone's aunt, she met up with a guy at a hotel room I think, he tied her up and shitted all over her. she wasn't found until the next day by one of the cleaners.

Just tragic
 

FunSizeB

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Well since I’m scared of STIs I’ve never hooked up with anyone. I have to be dating the person to sleep with them. Hook up culture is stupid because I know so many girls that have gotten STIs from sleeping around. I guess to each their own.
 

d0llfacexoxo

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I agree but some of these fonts don’t care. I had someone tell me how strange it is that my friend doesn’t give oral in FWB or hook up situations. It’s like random xes is worth the STDs now, sad.

oh defffff if we just hooking up you don’t get none of this fye fr tho and I stay in the std capital of the USA?? Oh Na. USE CONDOMS PEOPLE. Actually let’s all stop fµck!n how bout that.
 

GelilaBekele

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I remember in college my roommate would bring guys over and they’d have friends and they’d start fµck!ng immediately.

Me: talks to dude’s friend alllll night long. Dude comes by again next week. Talks again. My idea of a one night stand in college was if we had 24 hours of pure talk time, we could fµck. Lol. I really treated them like one night stands too. Technically I haven’t known them long enough for us to be fµck!ng, so it counted!
 

caramel15

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I never understood this either. You're told not to hitchhike or get into a car with a stranger but for some reason, it's okay to go home with a perfect stranger and sleep with them.
 

brockhampton

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I’m sorry you went through that! Did you attempt to press charges? I know a girl that was raped by a hookup too, she attempted to press charges but the police flat out told her she had no case.

yeah they told me the same. it's nearly impossible to prove, especially since you willingly went there/consented to having xes at first..even if that consent later was withdrawn, nobody is gonna believe you beyond a reasonable doubt

trigger warning: i had severe bruising and internal damage because he was so rough and i started crying, but they still couldn't use that as evidence bc he could just use the defense that it was consensual/bdsm. a lot of men get away with rape and even murder with that excuse, it's seen as legitimate. that's why i advise against "kink" in general but especially with strangers
 

Afrohemian

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I agree but some of these fonts don’t care. I had someone tell me how strange it is that my friend doesn’t give oral in FWB or hook up situations. It’s like random xes is worth the STDs now, sad.

i remember the last time you said this, and it’s still strange. It’s fine for her, but it’s not usual or common by any means. if she’s worried about her health can use dentas dams and condoms. If it’s about vulnerability, I mean she’s still allegedly having xes and hookups right? Like stop saying this lol.

hooking up is dangerous if you don’t do proper vetting. Husbands are murdering their wives of ten years out the blue too.
 

Afrohemian

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Damn, there’s no way y’all are grown adults posting like this. Y’all have never heard of condoms? Letting your friends know where you’re going? Meeting in public first? It’s 2021 and we’re still acting like online dating and hookups are weird. Do y’all meet people to sell goods on Craigslist?

Just do what works for you, no judgement needed.
 

sasha032

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It's very dangerous. I know a hypersexual male that hooks up with random women online. He had one on Saturday, and two and Sunday. Plus he has a girlfriend. I told him one day these women are going to set him up. He lets anybidy in his house. He usually picks then up and brings them over to his place.
 

Jessica Mur

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Damn, there’s no way y’all are grown adults posting like this. Y’all have never heard of condoms? Letting your friends know where you’re going? Meeting in public first? It’s 2021 and we’re still acting like online dating and hookups are weird. Do y’all meet people to sell goods on Craigslist?

Just do what works for you, no judgement needed.
Two of my friends did all of this but it didn’t stop those men from assaulting them. Women are physically weaker than men. We are at a very vulnerable position laying there naked with a stranger.
 

Jessica Mur

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It's very dangerous. I know a hypersexual male that hooks up with random women online. He had one on Saturday, and two and Sunday. Plus he has a girlfriend. I told him one day these women are going to set him up. He lets anybidy in his house. He usually picks then up and brings them over to his place.
Girl, I don’t know why men do this stuff. They deserve to be robbed for being so dang desperate.
 

IMPERIALE

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I don't understand either and but I respect other people mindset. I don't trust anyone and idk I don't like people that much to have many hookups to begging with.
 

Afrohemian

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Two of my friends did all of this but it didn’t stop those men from assaulting them. Women are physically weaker than men. We are at a very vulnerable position laying there naked with a stranger.

okay, and I was raped by my boyfriend who I also lost my virginity to five years prior. My “hookups” have respected my boundaries and been kind.

hookups are not inherently dangerous, men are. Do with that what you will
 

PoppinQueen7

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i remember the last time you said this, and it’s still strange. It’s fine for her, but it’s not usual or common by any means. if she’s worried about her health can use dentas dams and condoms. If it’s about vulnerability, I mean she’s still allegedly having xes and hookups right? Like stop saying this lol.

hooking up is dangerous if you don’t do proper vetting. Husbands are murdering their wives of ten years out the blue too.
It’s strange because she doesn’t want to put her mouth on a dudes penis she just met? Y’all say do what you want and then turn around to judge anyway.

So, since it’s not the norm, she should you give oral even if she doesn’t want to? You can’t practice safe xes but be putting your mouth on a random penis. You still can catch something that way as well. No one uses dental dams or give oral with a condom.
 

Afrohemian

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It’s strange because she doesn’t want to put her mouth on a dudes penis she just met? Y’all say do what you want and then turn around to judge anyway. I’m sure it’s not the norm but that’s why there’s people out here burning and itching because it isn’t. You can’t practice safe xes but be putting your mouth on a random penis. You still can catch something that way as well.

Instead of being in a hurry to check me, you should’ve read. Your friend let’s random penis in her pussy but her mouth is too good for it? Again, if it’s about Heath the man can wear a condom during oral. Your friend is strange, and so are you for posting her questionable logic all over the board. If she doesn’t want to give oral as a personal preference that’s fine but it’s not “safer” or “better” as you are implying, so it’s a little strange.
 

PoppinQueen7

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Instead of being in a hurry to check me, you should’ve read. Your friend let’s random penis in her pussy but her mouth is too good for it? Again, if it’s about Heath the man can wear a condom during oral. Your friend is strange.
I did read and you still were judging. No one wears a condom during oral seriously.
 

Afrohemian

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I did read and you still were judging. No one wears a condom during oral seriously.

If the option is getting head with a condom or not getting head at all, I PROMISE you plenty of men will choose the former.

I also know women who have asked and have personally asked men to wear a condom for oral before, so yes they do. Again it’s very obvious you and your friend are inexperienced. Have a great afternoon.
 
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Damn, there’s no way y’all are grown adults posting like this. Y’all have never heard of condoms? Letting your friends know where you’re going? Meeting in public first? It’s 2021 and we’re still acting like online dating and hookups are weird. Do y’all meet people to sell goods on Craigslist?

Just do what works for you, no judgement needed.

You’re right. Because condoms protect against serial killers and violent brutes.

Letting your friends know where you are won’t do jack ish for you if by the time they find out things went left it’s not until the news gets to them. How does the saying go? When seconds matter police are minutes away.

You have plenty of women who have tried to withdraw consent after realizing that the man they thought wasn’t who he actually said he was and turned violent. How does your “meet in public” “condoms” help these scenarios?

As a woman to be able to take these kinds of risks just to get some penis makes you a hoe.
 

MelinaRollins

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Damn, there’s no way y’all are grown adults posting like this. Y’all have never heard of condoms? Letting your friends know where you’re going? Meeting in public first? It’s 2021 and we’re still acting like online dating and hookups are weird. Do y’all meet people to sell goods on Craigslist?

Just do what works for you, no judgement needed.

With all due respect, none of this matters once something has already been done to you. NO one will be fast enough to help you once you're already are in a bad situation. This just makes it maybe easier to find the person who murdered you, gave you a disease, or did some other terrible thing to you.
 

MelinaRollins

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It’s strange because she doesn’t want to put her mouth on a dudes penis she just met? Y’all say do what you want and then turn around to judge anyway.

So, since it’s not the norm, she should you give oral even if she doesn’t want to? You can’t practice safe xes but be putting your mouth on a random penis. You still can catch something that way as well. No one uses dental dams or give oral with a condom.

With all due respect, this is false. They are still making dental damns for a reason. Yes, the majority of people probably don't. But to say no one? It's just incorrect.
 

Afrohemian

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You’re right. Because condoms protect against serial killers and violent brutes.

Letting your friends know where you are won’t do jack ish for you if by the time they find out things went left it’s not until the news gets to them. How does the saying go? When seconds matter police are minutes away.

You have plenty of women who have tried to withdraw consent after realizing that the man they thought wasn’t who he actually said he was and turned violent. How does your “meet in public” “condoms” help these scenarios?

As a woman to be able to take these kinds of risks just to get some penis makes you a hoe.

like I said previously, I was raped by my boyfriend of 3+ years who I lost my virginity to. I did it “safe” and was still brutalized, and if I had never had casual xes again I would probably still be suffering, convinced all men are evil trash and I’m unlovable.

How many people do you actually believe are going on dates and meeting with serial killers? Meanwhile, you’re likely to get shot just shopping at the store or gas station.

The fact that So many people on this website think xes is completely frivolous and exclusive for hoes is laughable.
 
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like I said previously, I was raped by my boyfriend of 3+ years who I lost my virginity to. I did it “safe” and was still brutalized, and if I had never had casual xes again I would probably still be suffering, convinced all men are evil trash and I’m unlovable.

How many people do you actually believe are going on dates and meeting with serial killers? Meanwhile, you’re likely to get shot just shopping at the store or gas station.

The fact that So many people on this website think xes is completely frivolous and exclusive for hoes is laughable.

Even if they’re not serial killers, most rape incidents aren’t reported. So even if they aren’t “serial killers”, how many are meeting complete strangers and getting harmed.

You’re right about what you’re saying, but don’t act like you don’t understand what we’re saying. Yes, you can get shot going to the store, but that would be “Wow. How random!” Compared to saying “I met a stranger and got in their bed” which is less safe/random than the store scenario.
 

Afrohemian

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Even if they’re not serial killers, most rape incidents aren’t reported. So even if they aren’t “serial killers”, how many are meeting complete strangers and getting harmed.

You’re right about what you’re saying, but don’t act like you don’t understand what we’re saying. Yes, you can get shot going to the store, but that would be “Wow. How random!” Compared to saying “I met a stranger and got in their bed” which is less safe/random than the store scenario.

i genuinely believe not many. Yes it does happen, but it is not common to be harmed on tinder dates or people wouldn’t be going on them. People said the same thing about Craigslist.

I also genuinely do not understand the logic. Hookups are not more dangerous than sleeping with any man at any time. Do your due diligence and hope for the best, any time you are sleeping with someone.
 

vaguebeaut

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i genuinely believe not many. Yes it does happen, but it is not common to be harmed on tinder dates or people wouldn’t be going on them. People said the same thing about Craigslist.

I also genuinely do not understand the logic. Hookups are not more dangerous than sleeping with any man at any time. Do your due diligence and hope for the best, any time you are sleeping with someone.

Hookups are more dangerous because you don’t know the person at all. At least if you wait a bit, you can wait for him to get tested or get a better understanding of his character and the type of person he is.
 

sugarvenom

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My friends and I used to subscribe to hook up culture and thought having a hoe phase was cute and interesting (especially in the college scene). We were super young and I would not make the same choices. The thought of sleeping with these undeserving, trashy men makes me cringe now.

I know a handful of women who are very into hook ups. Most of them have ended up with STDs and xesual health issues yet continue to glamorize casual xes. All over social media bragging about their pUsSaY. Male hoes are just as bad and reek of desperation. The way they use women’s bodies and then discard when they’re bored is borderline sociopathic.

At the end of the day, adults are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies. You can chose to participate or not. In my opinion, a quick meaningless nut isn’t worth the risk.
 

sensualgyal

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I've had a few bad experiences with my dates xesually assaulting me, so I'm definitely wary of hook ups. Getting STIs and HIV is also a fear of mine, a lot of of my friends brag about hooking up without a condom or birth control and they shrug when I tell them to get tested
 

msellie

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I remember a Naija girl at my HBCU that took hook-up culture to an extreme that I had not seen b4 and have not seen since. I think that she had a thing for men in uniform bc she used to go extra hard to link with men at the nearby military base.

Whenever I would see her enter the lobby of the dorm, I started to leave bc it was always her thanking someone for picking her up on the side of the road after a random man kicked her out of their house/car/etc.

I really don't understand what happens when you see the guy that you hooked up with on the street in daylight hours. Do you pretend not to see them and kindly look the other way, like :censored:

I have no problem with fking fast after getting to know a person, like kicking it for 3 weeks straight and developing mutual respect and some sense of connection, but I can't picture disrobing for a stranger.
 

Morticia A

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Yes, of course it is but everyone doesn't value their life shrug.

I mean I can understand a FWB because at least something has been established with that person but meeting random men off of tinder and going back to their place or inviting them back to yours...

It's the poor judgement for me.
 

Voiderror404

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I keep my home and my kitty clean and I have a contraceptive implant. Stop being so presumptuous and judgy. Am I proud of my tinder phase? No. But I’m alive with all my limbs intact and Std free. I met many great men during my time on Tinder and I learned a lot about men and my preferences in men dating and hooking up w/ men. Every one I hooked up with had a respectable job and was a decent human being and it’s not rare in my city. I stopped using tinder because I moved onto my next phase in life where I no longer needed superficial duck buddies. Most women use dating apps but they won’t admit it tho



I don't think it's about being proud and I really don't think the hoe phase is a thing. I'm not sure why it's still not as socially acceptable to peacefully engage in casual xes.


If you're a consenting adult being private and protecting yourself idk what's wrong with that. Alot of people have different reasons for engaging in casual xes. It's only an issue when both parties are not on the same page. I'm 28 years old, I get tested 4 times a year, I've never been pregnant or had any scares, the only time I ever had unprotected xes was when I was in a relationship and on BC, being xesually active since I was 15 I always use protection.


Not everyone wants a personal connection with xes and how some people are not into hookup culture, there are some people who are. And people shouldn't be made to feel bad about that. xes is not the only setting where you're being intimate with someone.
 

shishifufu

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I don't think it's about being proud and I really don't think the hoe phase is a thing. I'm not sure why it's still not as socially acceptable to peacefully engage in casual xes.


If you're a consenting adult being private and protecting yourself idk what's wrong with that. Alot of people have different reasons for engaging in casual xes. It's only an issue when both parties are not on the same page. I'm 28 years old, I get tested 4 times a year, I've never been pregnant or had any scares, the only time I ever had unprotected xes was when I was in a relationship and on BC, being xesually active since I was 15 I always use protection.


Not everyone wants a personal connection with xes and how some people are not into hookup culture, there are some people who are. And people shouldn't be made to feel bad about that. xes is not the only setting where you're being intimate with someone.
I know girl. This is LSA so women are shamed no matter what they do
 

Voiderror404

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I know girl. This is LSA so women are shamed no matter what they do


Yeah I kind of understand the discomfort in it but to flat out call it digusting and dangerous and how can you fµck someone you don't know.

Not everyone sees xes as this special wonderful magical experience. It's really intamate yeah but some people like the act of it. For women orgasms can be achieved with toys, there are some people who enjoy giving and getting pleasure. It's okay to not see xes in the normal traditional way. As an adult it's your responsibility to keep yourself safe (talking about STDs)


I was always honest and blunt when seeking out someone to sleep with. Even though I'm usually shy in normal settings, xes my rules are always condoms, no cameras, and privacy, and being respectful. I've met guys who objected to not wanting to use protection and I would just end the conversation. I guess it's different for everyone. But people need to stop villanizing grown adults for having xes without commitment. Women especially.



And I don't do casual hook-ups anymore, not cause it's bad, it just stopped being fun, but I'm not gonna demonize someone who feels differently for it. I hate to sound like a cliche but women need to stop policing others women bodies. I have never saw a female harshly judge another female for not being into hookup culture. Ever.
 

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