incogneato
No face, no case.
I’m currently a college student with a African background. I’ve known that I’ve been into girls since maybe middle school but since then I’ve also had this weird cognitive dissonance with it as well (which is probably due to my family's thoughts on it). While some of my closest friends were coming out in high school as bi, pan, lesbian, I just sat back and watched them and never personally disclosed about my own xesual identity because I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. I noticed that for them, their queerness is an identity trait (they’re the indie/boho femme, vegan, “I’m so different” type) which is cool, but I personally don’t want my sexuality to be the first thing people remember about me and I know it will be if I do come out to everyone.
Being in college has given me some freedom to be my true myself. Granted I’m still not out out, but my friends know I like girls too, and I’ve had a couple romantic connections with some girls but they didn’t work out, and I’ve never been with one physically (which is okay bc it’s more than a xes thing for me).
To this day, I still don’t feel comfortable talking about my sexuality to some friends, especially the femme ones because they see it as a personality trait and I don’t, but maybe I should. I know I should own this part of me, but I have very advanced career goals and I know that once I come out fully because I am black and a black woman at that, it is something that will disadvantage me even more in my pursuit of my goals.
Maybe I should make a separate thread about this, but when I was in highschool right before Stacey Abrams announced that she was running for governor in Georgia, my language arts teacher told me and a friend that her and her husband (our history teacher) met Stacey while they were at dinner in Atlanta. This skinny ass old white woman then proceeded to state that “she thought Stacey Abrams was a lesbian” with a straight ass face. At the time I didn’t think much of it (sad ik so dumb of me) but I’ve been thinking a lot about this story recently with the election and how ignorant it was of her to say that.
Was it because of how she looked? Her short 4c hair? Her dark skin? Her un-married status?
I don’t know, but I know that she would have never said that if she wasn’t a black woman. I want to do big things like Stacy and I’m scared of some sh!t like that happening to me, especially if there’s some truth behind it (if I’m out).
Being in college has given me some freedom to be my true myself. Granted I’m still not out out, but my friends know I like girls too, and I’ve had a couple romantic connections with some girls but they didn’t work out, and I’ve never been with one physically (which is okay bc it’s more than a xes thing for me).
To this day, I still don’t feel comfortable talking about my sexuality to some friends, especially the femme ones because they see it as a personality trait and I don’t, but maybe I should. I know I should own this part of me, but I have very advanced career goals and I know that once I come out fully because I am black and a black woman at that, it is something that will disadvantage me even more in my pursuit of my goals.
Maybe I should make a separate thread about this, but when I was in highschool right before Stacey Abrams announced that she was running for governor in Georgia, my language arts teacher told me and a friend that her and her husband (our history teacher) met Stacey while they were at dinner in Atlanta. This skinny ass old white woman then proceeded to state that “she thought Stacey Abrams was a lesbian” with a straight ass face. At the time I didn’t think much of it (sad ik so dumb of me) but I’ve been thinking a lot about this story recently with the election and how ignorant it was of her to say that.
Was it because of how she looked? Her short 4c hair? Her dark skin? Her un-married status?
I don’t know, but I know that she would have never said that if she wasn’t a black woman. I want to do big things like Stacy and I’m scared of some sh!t like that happening to me, especially if there’s some truth behind it (if I’m out).