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Forever a Virgin

incogneato

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Is it normal for people to question your sexuality because you're a virgin after a certain age? I can see that there are attractive men, but I don't have an interest in being with them romantically. I avoided all romantic actions.

This year I'll get my magical powers. I guess that makes me a witch (wizards are usually male aren't they). I wonder why I lack the desires that most people have, but there are times I see the advantages.

Would it be accurate to say that I'm asexual? I not totally uninterested in xes. It's just something I don't want to experience personally.

I am asocial. I have no desires to form close relationships with people outside of my family.

Is there someone that can relate? Do you identify as asexual? It seems like even asexuals are obsessed with dating.
 

girlyteengirl

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have you been through any trauma? any life-changing events? especially involving men? you could be asexual, but many times. being ace is mistaken for other events that have caused an avoidant style to relationships

your comment about not wanting to form close relationships with people outside of your family led me to ask those questions above.
 

Ms Muse

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Is it normal for people to question your sexuality because you're a virgin after a certain age?
People question my sexuality just because I'm single, so my impression is that anything deviating from the social "norm" is considered strange to others and leads them to try to rationalize your deviance from the "norm."

Asexual does not = aromantic. That's why asexual people you've seen might still pursue relationships. It sounds like you could be both asexual and aromantic.
 

SageDew

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OP, eff what people's thoughts are about you still being a virgin at a certain age. Also, you don't always have to disclose that you are a virgin. It's not really anyone's business unless they're someone you are dating exclusively. Compared to the average age that women lose their virginity I was "old" when I lost mine (23). I can recall just 2 times where I disclosed that I was a virgin, once was in HS and the other time was with the guy I lost my virginity to. I'm very private as is, so it wasn't hard to be mum about it. Everyone either assumed I was or was not.

There might be more to unpack since you say that you are asocial and have no desires to form close relationships with people outside of family. How old are you OP? You can say age range ("early 20s, mid thirties, late teens, etc) if you don't want to disclose your actual age.
 

UStoleMyName

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I used to think I was asexual but now I don’t believe in that gender theory stuff, but it is okay if you believe in it. If you think you are asexual that is fine. I think we can never stop finding out about ourselves and continue to explore and learn.

I am pretty sure my family members question my sexuality as well. I don’t care. A lot of times I just don’t trust people and growing up surrounded by people in bad relationships and learning from that makes you hesisitant to be in any type of relationship of your own because you don’t want to be in that same predicament. I learned that you can continue the cycle of bad relationships due to not knowing what a good one looks like. I am around your age and I am still learning what a good relationship looks like.

For me, I desire to have relationships romantically and platonically but my anxiety holds me back sometimes and it wasn’t always like that. I didn’t want to be around people or have friends before.

Anyways, do what is best for you and try not to let society tell you what is right or wrong. If later on you feel like having xes and having friends outside your family then pursue it.
 

incogneato

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have you been through any trauma? any life-changing events? especially involving men? you could be asexual, but many times. being ace is mistaken for other events that have caused an avoidant style to relationships

your comment about not wanting to form close relationships with people outside of your family led me to ask those questions above.

No, I lived a pretty normal life.

OP, eff what people's thoughts are about you still being a virgin at a certain age. Also, you don't always have to disclose that you are a virgin. It's not really anyone's business unless they're someone you are dating exclusively. Compared to the average age that women lose their virginity I was "old" when I lost mine (23). I can recall just 2 times where I disclosed that I was a virgin, once was in HS and the other time was with the guy I lost my virginity to. I'm very private as is, so it wasn't hard to be mum about it. Everyone either assumed I was or was not.

There might be more to unpack since you say that you are asocial and have no desires to form close relationships with people outside of family. How old are you OP? You can say age range ("early 20s, mid thirties, late teens, etc) if you don't want to disclose your actual age.

When people don't see me dating or being otherwise affectionate towards men, they figure it out on their own. These are people close to me that I'm referring to. I don't disclose. I hinted at turning 30 this year in the OP.
 

SageDew

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No, I lived a pretty normal life.



When people don't see me dating or being otherwise affectionate towards men, they figure it out on their own. These are people close to me that I'm referring to. I don't disclose. I hinted at turning 30 this year in the OP.
Ohhh the "this year I'll get my magical powers" line. I had never heard of that in reference, but I just now googled the phrase and came across the meme. I understand now.

Is it normal for people to question your sexuality because you're a virgin after a certain age? I can see that there are attractive men, but I don't have an interest in being with them romantically. I avoided all romantic actions.

This year I'll get my magical powers. I guess that makes me a witch (wizards are usually male aren't they). I wonder why I lack the desires that most people have, but there are times I see the advantages.

Would it be accurate to say that I'm asexual? I not totally uninterested in xes. It's just something I don't want to experience personally.

I am asocial. I have no desires to form close relationships with people outside of my family.

Is there someone that can relate? Do you identify as asexual? It seems like even asexuals are obsessed with dating.
Based on the definition of asexual: a person who has no xesual feelings or desires, or who is not xesually attracted to anyone. You kinda fit the bill, but what aspects of xes are you interested in?
 

incogneato

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Ohhh the "this year I'll get my magical powers" line. I had never heard of that in reference, but I just now googled the phrase and came across the meme. I understand now.


Based on the definition of asexual: a person who has no xesual feelings or desires, or who is not xesually attracted to anyone. You kinda fit the bill, but what aspects of xes are you interested in?
I knew that reference was going to be rather obscure, but I couldn't resist.

I used to watch pδrn, so I assumed that it might meant I have some type of interest in xes.
 

FallenHeaux

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Is it normal for people to question your sexuality because you're a virgin after a certain age? I can see that there are attractive men, but I don't have an interest in being with them romantically. I avoided all romantic actions.

This year I'll get my magical powers. I guess that makes me a witch (wizards are usually male aren't they). I wonder why I lack the desires that most people have, but there are times I see the advantages.

Would it be accurate to say that I'm asexual? I not totally uninterested in xes. It's just something I don't want to experience personally.

I am asocial. I have no desires to form close relationships with people outside of my family.

Is there someone that can relate? Do you identify as asexual? It seems like even asexuals are obsessed with dating.
I think you may suffer from Schizoid Personality Disorder, since people with that disorder usually aren't interested in making friends, or you may have suffered trauma. I suggest getting therapy on why you never had a desire to socialize with people.
 

incogneato

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I've been turned off from relationships and xes because of the way people treat me especially men. I'm starting to think I don't really have a desire to have xes or be in a romantic relationship. (I also don't feel turned on when watching pδrn anymore) Most men I met are sh!tty and selfish and on top of dealing with your own problems, you have to deal with theirs too. If I get a partner one day I will eventually have xes with them but for now, I will not actively pursue it.
 

NarcoticVenus

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I think you may suffer from Schizoid Personality Disorder, since people with that disorder usually aren't interested in making friends, or you may have suffered trauma. I suggest getting therapy on why you never had a desire to socialize with people.
I know you mean well, but I don't think it is a good idea to try to armchair diagnose mental illness.

I do agree, OP, that you may want to visit a therapist to see if there is anything they can help you unpack.
 

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