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Guy no longer wants to date but is avoiding getting his belongings

incogneato

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I had a disagreement with a guy I was seeing for about 6 months and he started to distance himself (no texts/calls but watching my social media posts). I reached out not to discuss what happened, but because he left an expensive electronic in my car. He sends a long paragraph explaining why we should go our seperate ways, but he does not acknowledge how he wants to get this item. I respond basically saying okay cool, but how do you want your item. He sends another long paragraph and then I respond asking the same question about the item. He has not responded. He just moved so I don't have an updated address to mail the item or a certified letter to. I would like to move on and he's being manipulative as fµck for somebody that claims he doesn't want me. Now I was ready to go to the dumpster, but I started reading advice online from lawyers about similar situations and I got a little nervous. I don't want to look pathetic texting him over and over again, but I'm reading that tossing items before 30-60 days could get you in trouble. I'm looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with somebody refusing to pick up their belongings.
 

Seoe

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Just leave it. Send it to the police station if anything or mail it to him/his workplace. Don't contact him again
 

JuneBug29

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If you don’t want to toss it, just put it out of sight and leave it be.

It’s not your job to make him come and get it. If he doesn’t want to get it, that’s his problem.

You should be unbothered about this don’t you dare send him another text.
 

Zebracake

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Just leave it. Send it to the police station if anything or mail it to him/his workplace. Don't contact him again
Posting for emphasis :heart: He likes drama and wants to put you in one of his episodes
 

Seminolegirl

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OP do this..
 

soul sun love

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Tell him he has 30-60 days (some jurisdictions may only require 2wks or less) to pickup/send for his items or you will trash them. Send this through text or email. You are not a storage facility and do not have to keep his sh!t. He is trying to keep a connection to you but don't let him.
 

Remy Newport

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The device is not stopping you from moving on. It’s just a thing, throw it in the draw and forget it or text him and say last chance, give me your address or I’m tossing it. No response? Block and move on.
 

Scorpion

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Throw it away if it's of no use to you. Or sell it. Or give it to a family member. Fizzzuck him he's clearly not worried about it.
Oh and stop giving him access to you on social media. BLOCK
 

Tornado81

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I’d take his stuff, box it up, put his name, address, phone on it and dump it at the police station. Straight like that.

The younger me would’ve tore that sh!t up.
 

ThatChic704

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What belongings?

I toss sh!t immediately after its over. Hell some times I toss stuff when its not over. My home is not Public Storage. Take yo ish with you...
 

incogneato

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It's an Apple watch and you know you pay monthly for the service so I'm just like what kind of person just leaves something like that behind...what's wrong with men
 

incogneato

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Throw it away if it's of no use to you. Or sell it. Or give it to a family member. Fizzzuck him he's clearly not worried about it.
Oh and stop giving him access to you on social media. BLOCK
Yea he was showing his ass and being messy trying to get a reaction out of me so he's been removed as follower. Men my age are a bunch of weirdos - don't want you but get mad when you don't chase either
 

Marie Boston

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Send it to him certified mail or tuck it somewhere and forget about it. When you remember you have it keep it or give it away.

He ignored you asking him about it because he wanted you to focus on his two paragraphs instead. If he had given the information you asked for then its the end and his perceived power over you is gone. Its a power trip.
 

megaevolvedthot

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Bro sell that for a grip and then block him.

What trouble would you even get into if you’ve got correspondence that shows he didn’t acknowledge or ask about it? Any judge with sense would toss it out if he tried to take it that far.
 

Scorpion

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Yea he was showing his ass and being messy trying to get a reaction out of me so he's been removed as follower. Men my age are a bunch of weirdos - don't want you but get mad when you don't chase either
Just curious what his long aZz paragraph said regarding why you should go your separate ways? Did he neg you at the same time?
 

Orion Pax

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Sounds like he is trying to keep some type of relationship with you by not responding about his watch. I would put it in a box or yellow envelope with his name on it and take it to the police station and drop it off send him a text and let him know where it is then block him having no further contact with him.
 

Hereforthetea222

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I think in most situations like this you’re only required to keep the item(s) for 15 days before you can get rid of it. But to safe check the laws in your city/state on it.

After you’ve documented you telling him how long you’ll hold onto it and when to come get it if he doesn’t comply then you’re no longer responsible for his things.
 

incogneato

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Just curious what his long aZz paragraph said regarding why you should go your separate ways? Did he neg you at the same time?
It was a bunch of bµllsh!t, the typical "I'm not ready and I feel pressured" excuse. We were never dating for fun. After a certain amount of time I expect a commitment and he realized I was prepared to walk away if he wasn't going to put a title on it in the near future. That's what the disagreement was about
 

incogneato

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Sounds like he is trying to keep some type of relationship with you by not responding about his watch. I would put it in a box or yellow envelope with his name on it and take it to the police station and drop it off send him a text and let him know where it is then block him having no further contact with him.
That makes sense because he knows that I don't keep in contact with people after I end things, but this is still weird to me. I don't have much life experience but isn't usually the person that gets dumped that refuses to get their stuff? Like wtf is the problem Lmao
 

Ezra Miller

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You're using it as a way to get attention from him and he's using it as an excuse for when he wants to have contact again.

If you want to move on, tell him you consider it abandoned. If you want to be "nice," then leave it outside for him to pick it up and be done with it.
 

LustNLuxury

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That makes sense because he knows that I don't keep in contact with people after I end things, but this is still weird to me. I don't have much life experience but isn't usually the person that gets dumped that refuses to get their stuff? Like wtf is the problem Lmao
He just wants an excuse to remain in contact with you.
It’s not weird, he’s trying to keep a hold on you and he thinks he’s slick.

Either erase the information from the watch and keep it for yourself, gift it to someone else, or pawn it.
If he wanted that watch, he’d come and get it.
 

BootyCookies

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Sell it
It was a bunch of bµllsh!t, the typical "I'm not ready and I feel pressured" excuse. We were never dating for fun. After a certain amount of time I expect a commitment and he realized I was prepared to walk away if he wasn't going to put a title on it in the near future. That's what the disagreement was about

Bruuuuh. My ex fwb did this fuckshit. Left his underwear in my bedroom because he knew I was talking to other guys. I was like um sweetie these are not cemented to the floor, what are you doing. I tossed them in the trash.
 

Scorpion

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It was a bunch of bµllsh!t, the typical "I'm not ready and I feel pressured" excuse. We were never dating for fun. After a certain amount of time I expect a commitment and he realized I was prepared to walk away if he wasn't going to put a title on it in the near future. That's what the disagreement was about
Well I'm glad you walked away. Sounds like his lil paragraphs were an attempt to regain control in the situation, since you were ready to chuck the deuces rather than let him continue to waste your time. Anyways fµck him!
 

Alsi

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Message him that he has 7 days to come pick up his stuff. If he doesn't it will be trashed.

On day 6 remind him he has until tomorrow to come pick up his stuff or it will be trashed.

Don't speak to him after day 8.
 

incogneato

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Message him that he has 7 days to come pick up his stuff. If he doesn't it will be trashed.

On day 6 remind him he has until tomorrow to come pick up his stuff or it will be trashed.

Don't speak to him after day 8.
I will not be sending more texts, I can't go out like that Lol
 

Valhalla

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He's being childish and messy and hoping you leave it there so he can "pick it up" aka start the whole nonsense w/ you again and possibly get xes. I've been there before. Ask him if he wants to send it back, objectively and with a period at the end. If he doesn't respond in 3 days tell him you will chuck it or sell it (let him know if he does not reply that it what will happen with his item).
 

Valhalla

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You're using it as a way to get attention from him and he's using it as an excuse for when he wants to have contact again.

If you want to move on, tell him you consider it abandoned. If you want to be "nice," then leave it outside for him to pick it up and be done with it.

Precisely this. Both parties are childish and I would be shocked if anyone involved is over the age of 22.
 

YoungBougieBlac

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Girl just throw it in ur trunk or closet and forget about it until the 60 days are up. Stop reaching out to him to pick it up, ur leaving communication open. Men don’t like confrontation so he nay just ditch it, they’re cowards, he don’t wanna face u. Cover ur ass by not throwing out until time limit is up and then trash it. U don’t need to reach out to him again, it’s abandoned property
 

YoungBougieBlac

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You're using it as a way to get attention from him and he's using it as an excuse for when he wants to have contact again.

If you want to move on, tell him you consider it abandoned. If you want to be "nice," then leave it outside for him to pick it up and be done with it.

exactly. She clearly still wants attention. This honestly isn’t a big deal and is a simple fix of throwing the sh!t out after a month and blocking him. She can even trash it now, like does she really think he’s bout to press charges?
 

Thegembella

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If he hasn't inquired about it, it must be of boy no importance. I'd toss it and keep it moving. He may view it as though you're holding on to it to have something to continue to converse with him about.
 

Ororo Munroe

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Take a screenshot for proof that you tried to return the item and block him off of everything.
 

A.L.I.

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He moved without telling you the address so he must not want the watch. Wait whatever the legal time the experts say and then sell it. I'd move first do he doesn't try to come back in 6 months expecting to retrieve his stuff.
 

mzpizbia

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take it to the police station

or

if you know any of his friends, give it to them and let him know who you gave it to. then block him.

with all these electronic devices. i do not use apple products......however............ he can probably track you if you keep trying to carry it with you. i think it can also be used as a walkie talkie and listen in on conversations with other apple users??

get rid of the watch.
 

Athena13

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I'd reset the thing completely and use it myself. When he asks for it, if ever, oh, sorry, I lost it.
 

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