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Have Dating Apps Ruined Courting?

Theharlequinn

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I always wonder if these males would tell their young daughters this crap? That men will and should push for xes because she's going to "gladly go"? Wtf?

Honestly, this is probably the exact type of male to abandon their children, so nvmd.

Also, his advice is "to males really"... but his on a female sight based around fashion, gossip, and dating. You really can't make this sh!t up.

In all that babble he posted, I still see zero incentive for women having quick, meaningless xes.
Exactly this. I got hurt and rejection from all the posts. No female is smashing that’s why he’s mad
 

Theharlequinn

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This is so true about perverts in dating and just dealing with people in general today. There is no threat of shame for their reputation being ruined to their family & friends because you may never even meet. People act so strange and depraved and just creepy.
I wish there were a way to actually find out the identities of some of these creeps on these apps. For all a woman knows his name could be Tim but on the app he’s telling you it’s Michael or something. You just don’t know who you’re talking to or if what they’re telling you about themselves/life is true. A lot of unemployed weirdos be on those apps
 

Sophia2000

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The swipe left swipe right culture ruined it for sure. Along with the ghosting & flaking & people not asking questions but expect you to ask them questions.

honestly I don’t notice much of a difference offline now. I see some of the same habits with anyone that I didn’t meet within a social circle/social environment.
 

Sophia2000

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What I find funny & odd is.....all of us are annoyed with internet dating and the internet even the socially awkward people are annoyed with the internet. People taking too long to give a dry ass response. People with short attention spans. The lurkers on this site chances are they are the socially awkward. As we sit here and type on LSA we are using communication skills and composing sentences and paragraphs. Why can’t we compose sentences and paragraphs with people that we dating?

Dating consist of taking turns writing 1 sentence to each other. Cant get to know someone like that. I know some people that I can talk on the phone with but I can’t text them for sh!t because they don’t listen or can read. They can text they can pronounce words but their reading comprehension is sh!tty.
 

Theharlequinn

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What I find funny & odd is.....all of us are annoyed with internet dating and the internet even the socially awkward people are annoyed with the internet. People taking too long to give a dry ass response. People with short attention spans. The lurkers on this site chances are they are the socially awkward. As we sit here and type on LSA we are using communication skills and composing sentences and paragraphs. Why can’t we compose sentences and paragraphs with people that we dating?

Dating consist of taking turns writing 1 sentence to each other. Cant get to know someone like that. I know some people that I can talk on the phone with but I can’t text them for sh!t because they don’t listen or can read. They can text they can pronounce words but their reading comprehension is sh!tty.
Most of us can/do the issue comes when that person can’t hold a conversation whether that be in text, face to face, over the phone. I personally prefer face to face conversation when beginning to date someone I feel I learn them a lot better because texts can be misread and you don’t know the tone of the person when only texting. I just feel you learn a lot more about a person, their mannerisms, and their life when face to face. You learn whether they can hold a conversation, their interests, and if they are socially awkward when in person. A lot of men who use these apps some are pervs, some are socially awkward, and some are just looking for another lineup in their rotation.
 

Sophia2000

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Most of us can/do the issue comes when that person can’t hold a conversation whether that be in text, face to face, over the phone. I personally prefer face to face conversation when beginning to date someone I feel I learn them a lot better because texts can be misread and you don’t know the tone of the person when only texting. I just feel you learn a lot more about a person, their mannerisms, and their life when face to face. You learn whether they can hold a conversation, their interests, and if they are socially awkward when in person. A lot of men who use these apps some are pervs, some are socially awkward, and some are just looking for another lineup in their rotation.
Somewhere upwards of 80% of communication is non verbal. So I definitely agree with that. However there are dating sites that are FaceTime strictly. And the awkwardness is still there. Only difference is texting sets the tone if you start off texting. Talking in the phone sets the tone if you start off talking. Talking in face sets the tone if you start off talking face to face.

So to transition from texting talking to in person is one more obstacle you have to overcome. A person that you first met in person and tried to transition into texting be just as awkward. Gives me the impression had I met them on a app that it would be awkward finally meeting up if we even got past that.

I have family members that can’t text for sh!t and will be quick to “call me”.
 

Theharlequinn

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You never hear about socially awkwardness from sugar baby dating sites.....carry on
That’s because it’s a mutual business transaction. Those girls don’t care about conversation or even conversing with the men they just want the money. It’s a totally different ball game.
 

Theharlequinn

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Somewhere upwards of 80% of communication is non verbal. So I definitely agree with that. However there are dating sites that are FaceTime strictly. And the awkwardness is still there. Only difference is texting sets the tone if you start off texting. Talking in the phone sets the tone if you start off talking. Talking in face sets the tone if you start off talking face to face.

So to transition from texting talking to in person is one more obstacle you have to overcome. A person that you first met in person and tried to transition into texting be just as awkward. Gives me the impression had I met them on a app that it would be awkward finally meeting up if we even got past that.

I have family members that can’t text for sh!t and will be quick to “call me”.

I’ve never heard of a FaceTime only dating app haven’t seen one either. If they even do exist I’m sure people aren’t really using them like they use Tinder, Bumble, etc… there is no excuse for a person not being able to hold a conversation stranger or not. It’s a basic social skill we all pick up as we grow. We socialize in school, work, with friends, etc. All through life texting has nothing to do with a person’s ability to socialize. If you can talk in person you should be able to text that same person and hold a decent conversation. Most people who I’ve met who say they are bad texters are also bad at conversation in real life and awkward to be around. My stance is not changing it’s based on my experience. Also a YT video is not accurate proof to prove that what you are saying is factual.
 
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Sophia2000

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I’ve never heard of a FaceTime only dating app haven’t seen one either. If they even do exist I’m sure people aren’t really using them like they use Tinder, Bumble, etc… there is no excuse for a person not being able to hold a conversation stranger or not. It’s a basic social skill we all pick up as we grow. We socialize in school, work, with friends, etc. All through life texting has nothing to do with a person’s ability to socialize. If you can talk in person you should be able to text that same person and hold a decent conversation. Most people who I’ve met who say they are bad texters are also bad at conversation in real life and awkward to be around. My stance is not changing it’s based on my experience. Also a YT video is not accurate proof to prove that what you are saying is factual.
The video I posted in the thread you quoted is one. Called monkey app.
As well as they have a time clock (15 seconds and you can add time) that encourages you to communicate and make a good first impression if you want the other party to extend the time beyond 15 seconds.

OMEGLE (HOLLA APP)​


Both FaceTime oriented. Now you have
 

Sophia2000

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I’ve never heard of a FaceTime only dating app haven’t seen one either. If they even do exist I’m sure people aren’t really using them like they use Tinder, Bumble, etc… there is no excuse for a person not being able to hold a conversation stranger or not. It’s a basic social skill we all pick up as we grow. We socialize in school, work, with friends, etc. All through life texting has nothing to do with a person’s ability to socialize. If you can talk in person you should be able to text that same person and hold a decent conversation. Most people who I’ve met who say they are bad texters are also bad at conversation in real life and awkward to be around. My stance is not changing it’s based on my experience. Also a YT video is not accurate proof to prove that what you are saying is factual.
The world is way bigger then your personal experiences hence why other people’s personal experiences is more relevant then just one person’s social experience.
 

Theharlequinn

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@Sophia2000 Ma’am you quoted me twice for the same thing and still posting YT videos. Where are the stats that have been proved and double checked by experts to prove what you’re saying. I’m well aware that the world is bigger than my personal bubble honey which is why I asked for actual statistics not YT videos but to stop this from becoming a back and forth agree to disagree. Now let’s move on.
 

Relaunch91

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They ruined courting and the internet in general made a lot of people socially awkward. I meet so many people irl who are shocked that I can carry a conversation. I meet many people who are shy in person, very quiet but act bold online. It's hiding behind a screen that gives them confidence. I think one poster on here talked about her recent dating mishap where the guy was sitting 6ft away and straight awkward. It's quite common.
The bolded. Meet so many people like this lmao.
 

Relaunch91

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I think is certainly contributed... but this is only because women willingly and collectively have zero standards as to whom they sleep with.

Being attracted to a man is not a standard.


A college student was just murdered in her own apartment by a man who she'd only been on two "dates" with. Strangers should not know where you even live after only two "dates". Both were black too.

From article:

Henry Watson, 24, is accused of killing Cox, a senior at Huston-Tillotson University in Austin, at 2:43 a.m. March 31 at the Colonial Grand at Canyon Pointe Apartments in northwest Austin.

Watson’s arrest affidavit shows police responded to a report of a “terroristic threat” regarding Cox and Watson a week before the alleged murder. Cox reportedly told police she had only met Watson three days before and gone on two dates with him.


Not sure if these two met online, but even if they didn't... dating is so dangerous out here. These apps are honestly not safe. We see all the time people getting cat-fished, robbed, stalked, murdered.
fµck those fµck!ng cops for not doing anything. She reported him to police a week before she died because he showed up to her apartment with a gun! Wtf why wasnt he arrested? fµck that entire police department.
 

Sophia2000

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@Sophia2000 Ma’am you quoted me twice for the same thing and still posting YT videos. Where are the stats that have been proved and double checked by experts to prove what you’re saying. I’m well aware that the world is bigger than my personal bubble honey which is why I asked for actual statistics not YT videos but to stop this from becoming a back and forth agree to disagree. Now let’s move on.
I posted because you can’t seem to realize that there are FaceTime based dating apps and you claimed to never have heard of them while you quoted me showing you. If you understood that FaceTime dating apps exist I wouldn’t have to keep showing you different ones.
They right next to your stats that you have not posted.
 

HopeAndSlop

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@Stakesishigh

No not true at all. Dating for men should be an evaluation period. You are spending time with that particular person to figure out what type of interaction you want to have and if there is going to be any investment in them.

You know what's funny ? I can understand the female POV but for some reason women seem to have very hard time understandin the male POV.

Men do not have to evaluate the women. Men don't need to spend time with the women. Men don't to figure out what type of interaction or investment he is going to have with the women. Men think about that AFTER they have had xes with her.

Why do you think pδrn is the multi mullion industry it is and most of it's base are men ? Because pδrn gives the fantasy of men having xes with hot women without knowing nothing about them.

Females can only bring one baby to term a year. Men ? We can produce thousands or millions of babies. So just on a biological basis, men are less selective. That's just how GOD, Buddha, Allah set this



.
 

MelonJuice

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Dating apps didn't ruin anything that wasn't already problematic to begin with. I met my husband on Tinder of all places. We talked in the app for all of 5 minutes and immediately switched to talking on the phone and went on a date as soon as we could schedule it. He courted the heck out of me. If he hadn't, I would have thrown him back. You might have to wade through BS, but you would have to do that in person anyway. If your filter/discernment is broken and if your intentions aren't pure, it doesn't matter how you start off.
 
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SimonFenix

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I agree with them being the ghetto and completely a waste of time. My friend actually had a guy message her and mention he only wants xes she responded with I’m not having xes with anyone especially with COVID and the pandemic going on he instantly unmatched her. I actually got pissed for her like who does he think he is that a woman will just put her health at risk to give him a quick nut
The problem with this, is that if you are worried about your health you should not be on a dating app right now. Only people that should be using dating apps right now during these times are people who don't care about covid.
 

Theharlequinn

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The problem with this, is that if you are worried about your health you should not be on a dating app right now. Only people that should be using dating apps right now during these times are people who don't care about covid.
Truthful statement but I can’t tell my friend what to do or what apps she can and cannot use during Covid. I think her mindset was to met someone and talk for a while then eventually meetup. She’s fully vaccinated but she’s not the type to sleep with randoms or just jump in bed with anybody plus Covid isn’t the only issue STDs and STIs are as well. In my opinion it’s not smart to use these apps at all pandemic or not but that’s just how I see it.
 

Athena13

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Truthfully black women don't know how to date properly.

Dating does not mean xes
Dating does not mean exclusivity
Dating does not mean commitment
Dating does not mean relationship
Dating does not mean getting pregnant

Dating is just that DATING...getting to know a guy and have him demonstrate the qualities suitable to court you.

You need to be dating multiple men until one proposes marriage.

I known plenty of women who have had successful relationships and even marriage off dating apps. But their profiles reflect quality and therefore quality men are attracted. They don't entertain BS and they date multiple men.
Having a quality profile doesn't keep all the creeps away. But paying attention can get rid of most.

I think the key is insisting on alignment and discernment.
If you know from experience that you won't really enjoy even the hottest guy if he doesn't have x education, then don't swipe on anyone without it.

If you want someone who is clever and well-spoken, ignore profiles and messages that are boring or poorly written.

If you don't want a hookup proposal, skip any profile that has no content.

If you start talking and they get overly familiar or you just can't relate, shut it down.

Profiles/messages are like a first conversation. Just like Meeting Someone at Whole Foods ((c) LSA), it's a first impression. Sharpen you senses and listen to them.

If I at 50 have gotten thousands of approaches, you younger women likely have a complete ocean of men showing up. Almost all of them are not even close to what you want. So don't get into anyone fast, or feel like you should or have to entertain anyone who sounds the least bit off. Ask questions aimed at looking for quality, press if the answers seem shady or not quite direct, and shut it down if you find yourself compromising on things like attitude, interaction with/toward you, responsibility, honesty, respect, etc.
 

Athena13

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@Theharlequinn

Most men on them are only looking for hookups from just sitting around male friends who use them and hearing female friends talk about how a man will message with a “I’m looking for a relationship” then later start to talk xesual and mention casual hookups

Unless you a man on a dating app and you havemale model looks. The kinda of good good looks that are absolutely irrefutable then he is going to have a hard to just using dating apps for xes.

Women say men just want xes is because women on apps are even more pickier than they are real life. So they go for the guys who very facially pretty / good looking. Now that's cool.

Problem is plenty of the other women are going for that guy too and that's why women complain that men want hookups because the guys they go for on dating apps are guys that have the highest xesual market value and those guys have their pick


@Tabitha
Dating does not mean xes

Yes it does. Men should ALWAYS try to get xes on the first date. Why ? Because women will gladly waste a mans time and have date with man who they have no intention of having xes with or seeing him again. So p

@Tabitha
Dating is just that DATING...getting to know a guy and have him demonstrate the qualities suitable to court you.

Women make up their minds if they are going to fk a guy in the first minute. Women don't care court ship. They just care about if the guy makes her p*ssy tingle. That's it. Sure a guy can be a gent, who is not pushy for xes but you better believe that guy will be friendzoned or get the "Thanks you're a really nice guy but I didn't feel the spark / connection . chemistry"

I cry for you if this is what you really believe.

Men should aim for authenticity and quality in women as well, and they should make sure they offer the same. Your comments are not quality
 

Stakesishigh

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Why do you think pδrn is the multi mullion industry it is and most of it's base are men ? Because pδrn gives the fantasy of men having xes with hot women without knowing nothing about them.
I agree about the pδrn industry and appealing to the fantasies of this men. You make a very good point. pδrn appeals to the fantasies a majority of men will never engage in. Its not just about the act of having xes.
 

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