Quantcast

He’s in several girls dms

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,300
Reaction score
Reactions
2,688,549 494,810 222,820
2,888,519
Alleybux
1,047,637
I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple weeks now.We have not been intimate just going on dates most we’ve done is kissed.He’s a nice guy but what I’ve found out has made me question everything.

Basically you know those guys who dm several girls hoping one replies? Yes that’s him.I had no idea he was out here chasing so many women and being thirsty as hell while he was at it.He logged into Instagram through my phone after being locked out and forget to log out.I didn’t say anything and after we parted ways I came across his dms.He was messaging everyone from ig models to regular girls.He has Snapchat so I know he doin this on there too.Some dms he was moving like he just done a 20 year stint in jail and was fresh out.Yall I can’t.I feel sick remembering it.

He’s not ugly and has money and he is quite flashy in his pics so it’s not like he’s broke and can’t get women but I’m completely put off.Not to mention a girl I know randomly told me about him messaging her (she’s unaware me and him talk).I hide men till sh!ts serious so no one really knows bout this.

I feel like I’m the girl that replied and gave in.I’m even embarrassed to be seen with him because the damn cashier at the store probably recognises him.

I want to dead it before it gets serious.He sounds thirsty and for the streets.How do I slowly break up with him without making it obvious?
 

Lizann

Not Mary.
Joined
Jul 1, 2013
Messages
5,949
Reaction score
Reactions
41,789 1,938 648
41,736
Alleybux
7,000
You are right to feel this way. I only laugh because guys are so predictable these days. Vet, vet, vet. Block him and don't tell him why. He's now unattractive to you and you don't owe him any explanations.
 

LaIndigo

Learning to love moments for themselves.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
2,533
Reaction score
Reactions
45,307 615 73
47,938
Alleybux
28,004
Your intuition is spot on. Leave him.

Why do regular guys dm Instagram models?
 

Lizann

Not Mary.
Joined
Jul 1, 2013
Messages
5,949
Reaction score
Reactions
41,789 1,938 648
41,736
Alleybux
7,000
Your intuition is spot on. Leave him.

Why do regular guys dm Instagram models?
The delusional thirst that comes with the brain rot of pδrn sickness. They spend so much time online they think these women give af about their attention when they just want to survive. The most popular "models" have services that reply to DMs for them, so his proclamations are being read by a dude in Ukraine. It's pathetic.
 

Mountainlee

Starter
Joined
Jun 15, 2021
Messages
153
Reaction score
Reactions
664 96 39
625
Alleybux
74,960
He's exploring options he has no commitment to you and it is has only been a few weeks. I would just basically date others and let him be. At least you discovered early on and haven't wasted much time with him.
 

flytraphaus

Solange on the Elevator
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
12,445
Reaction score
Reactions
137,990 5,185 3,076
138,152
Alleybux
561,795
He’s dating lol.

A few dates and a kiss locks a man down ?!

You should be dating as well.

Women are so dramatic. Why go through his Instagram if you all are just dating?

Move on because your insecurity will eat at you the entire relationship if you move forward with him. A little too soon to go snooping. If this were your man, I’d totally understand.

I date 5-6 men at a time. If one were to go through my phone and be mad at that without a relationship - I’d cut him off.
 

blktrans

BlackTransWoman
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
2,902
Reaction score
Reactions
27,969 1,125 620
30,368
Alleybux
308,000
Move on. He will always be looking for something better even if you become serious.

He wants the validation of having a bad b!tch on his arm to sate his fragile male ego and that won't even be enough.
 

Amandabby22

Team Owner
Joined
Mar 16, 2014
Messages
22,990
Reaction score
Reactions
424,136 10,583 6,680
456,997
Alleybux
790,900
I mean technically you are the girl who replied and gave in.. :sidefrown


You’re not entitled to commitment from a stranger and very rarely are any of us special snowflakes where a man just talks to absolutely no one while waiting for us to reward him with our presence. That’s LSA fairytale BS that doesn’t happen BUT the fact that you’ve actually seen how thirsty of a net he put out would make me weary too.

I would just be honest
“I saw your messages due to your own irresponsibility and I’m rethinking this because you seem thirsty for anyone’s attention. I don’t like that.” You don’t like him anymore so what’s the point of sugar coating why you’re breaking it off?
 
Last edited:

Lizann

Not Mary.
Joined
Jul 1, 2013
Messages
5,949
Reaction score
Reactions
41,789 1,938 648
41,736
Alleybux
7,000
He's exploring options he has no commitment to you and it is has only been a few weeks. I would just basically date others and let him be. At least you discovered early on and haven't wasted much time with him.

He’s dating lol.

A few dates and a kiss locks a man down ?!

You should be dating as well.

Women are so dramatic. Why go through his Instagram if you all are just dating?

Move on because your insecurity will eat at you the entire relationship if you move forward with him. A little too soon to go snooping. If this were your man, I’d totally understand.

I date 5-6 men at a time. If one were to go through my phone and be mad at that without a relationship - I’d cut him off.
I agree that he's not beholden to her. They barely know each other, but this is why vetting is so crucial. He's not just messaging a few women he's interested in, he's basically virtually cat calling any and every women including "entertainers" and a girl OP knows.

Any woman with a brain knows where this goes. It's disrespectful and will not magically change once he's in a relationship. Men these days are convinced they have options that don't exist and it's good she knows now. He's a waste of time.
 

flytraphaus

Solange on the Elevator
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
12,445
Reaction score
Reactions
137,990 5,185 3,076
138,152
Alleybux
561,795
I agree that he's not beholden to her. They barely know each other, but this is why vetting is so crucial. He's not just messaging a few women he's interested in, he's basically virtually cat calling any and every women including "entertainers" and a girl OP knows.

Any woman with a brain knows where this goes. It's disrespectful and will not magically change once he's in a relationship. Men these days are convinced they have options that don't exist and it's good she knows now. He's a waste of time.

so it’s disrespectful for a man to weigh out his options?

Like women are so dramatic everyone has options everyone is vetting everyone and everyone chooses the best out of those options.

And they are not in a relationship it’s not disrespectful. He doesn’t owe her anything at this point. This is 2021, you’d waste a lot of timing investing into people one at a time.

if you’re insecure at this moment don’t try to get in a relationship with anyone. It’s not high school. Lol

The expectations of women is what causes a lot of unnecessary stress.
 

Lizann

Not Mary.
Joined
Jul 1, 2013
Messages
5,949
Reaction score
Reactions
41,789 1,938 648
41,736
Alleybux
7,000
so it’s disrespectful for a man to weigh out his options?

Like women are so dramatic everyone has options everyone is vetting everyone and everyone chooses the best out of those options.

And they are not in a relationship it’s not disrespectful. He doesn’t owe her anything at this point. This is 2021, you’d waste a lot of timing investing into people one at a time.

if you’re insecure at this moment don’t try to get in a relationship with anyone. It’s not high school. Lol

The expectations of women is what causes a lot of unnecessary stress.
I must have been unclear. OP says he is randomly messaging everyone with a uterus. lmao This man has noooo options and is a thirsty parched fool. OP has plenty of self-esteem (as do I) which is why she feels embarrassed to be seen with said thirst bucket.

Forgive me for seeming harsh. I cannot abide pick-meism in any form. That includes pretending obvious pδrn sickness is not a turn off. He's gross and only a very insecure woman would pretend that's acceptable of any man. :cautious:
 

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,300
Reaction score
Reactions
2,688,549 494,810 222,820
2,888,519
Alleybux
1,047,637
His value would definitely be diminished in my eyes . I was seeing a guy like this before . He followed majority xes works / strippers , and any woman within 100 miles that had her ass out .
 

Jeranye81

Team Owner
Joined
Aug 23, 2015
Messages
7,585
Reaction score
Reactions
67,263 9,873 3,721
65,071
Alleybux
777,093
Moral of the story , you saw what was meant to be seen before you invested any real energy. Be thankful God showed you what it was. You could’ve ended up dating him and posting him meanwhile other women are laughing at you because he’s been in their DMs
 

flytraphaus

Solange on the Elevator
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
12,445
Reaction score
Reactions
137,990 5,185 3,076
138,152
Alleybux
561,795
I must have been unclear. OP says he is randomly messaging everyone with a uterus. lmao This man has noooo options and is a thirsty parched fool. OP has plenty of self-esteem (as do I) which is why she feels embarrassed to be seen with said thirst bucket.

Forgive me for seeming harsh. I cannot abide pick-meism in any form. That includes pretending obvious pδrn sickness is not a turn off. He's gross and only a very insecure woman would pretend that's acceptable of any man. :cautious:

Oh God. Anyone who doesn’t agree with the unrealistic expectations of todays righteous women is a pick me.

Gtfoh. They haven’t even had xes

Women project these huge fantasies of relationships onto men after a few dates. Then expect the same energy to be returned and are ultimately disappointed because men do not operate like that. And really no one should be at this moment.

Yes this about her self esteem because she is wondering how these women rejected him but she took on the cause.

The real pick me are the ones so concerned about being “chosen”. The man has options and so does she. It’s been a few weeks, shouldn’t even be this serious.
 

Lizann

Not Mary.
Joined
Jul 1, 2013
Messages
5,949
Reaction score
Reactions
41,789 1,938 648
41,736
Alleybux
7,000
Oh God. Anyone who doesn’t agree with the unrealistic expectations of todays righteous women is a pick me.

Gtfoh. They haven’t even had xes

Women project these huge fantasies of relationships onto men after a few dates. Then expect the same energy to be returned and are ultimately disappointed because men do not operate like that. And really no one should be at this moment.

Yes this about her self esteem because she is wondering how these women rejected him but she took on the cause.

The real pick me are the ones so concerned about being “chosen”. The man has options and so does she. It’s been a few weeks, shouldn’t even be this serious.
He has no options. These are not women accessible to him. He harasses models and neighborhood chicks online. It's not unrealistic to be surprised by such loser behavior from a man that is supposed to be good looking and successful.

What OP is describing and you believe to be normal male behavior is in fact dusty habits that dry puzzy up. Only a pick me would spread it for him. Period. lol
 

flytraphaus

Solange on the Elevator
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
12,445
Reaction score
Reactions
137,990 5,185 3,076
138,152
Alleybux
561,795
He has no options. These are not women accessible to him. He harasses models and neighborhood chicks online. It's not unrealistic to be surprised by such loser behavior from a man that is supposed to be good looking and successful.

What OP is describing and you believe to be normal male behavior is in fact dusty habits that dry puzzy up. Only a pick me would spread it for him. Period. lol

I can always scope the limitations on intelligence by the language people use.

If he’s a loser, which he may be - why is she pressed?

Move on.

He’s dating. She can date around as well if she focuses on more than him.

Please save me the rest. It’s takes a very dry vagina to get this upset. Especially when there’s millions of men out there.

Do…. Not… Quote… Me…
 

KitKatt

Team Owner
Joined
Jun 29, 2013
Messages
10,813
Reaction score
Reactions
98,786 4,196 1,161
109,265
Alleybux
214,664
well are these women replying to him? im curious..since hes "attractive" whats his batting average? 5/10 reply? 4/10? 8/10?
 

EnvyMe100

General Manager
Joined
Feb 6, 2018
Messages
2,082
Reaction score
Reactions
16,863 1,508 1,464
15,398
Alleybux
135,669
He’s dating lol.

A few dates and a kiss locks a man down ?!

You should be dating as well.

Women are so dramatic. Why go through his Instagram if you all are just dating?

Move on because your insecurity will eat at you the entire relationship if you move forward with him. A little too soon to go snooping. If this were your man, I’d totally understand.

I date 5-6 men at a time. If one were to go through my phone and be mad at that without a relationship - I’d cut him off.
Exactly. I would have logged out of his Instagram. A single man is going to be shooting shots. I would hate to have a man I’m just dating go through my phone.

I think she should move on too because this moment will always be in the back of her mind bothering her and will cause insecurity if they get more serious.
 

brooklyn8443

nope!
Joined
Mar 12, 2021
Messages
2,761
Reaction score
Reactions
31,460 1,005 140
31,397
Alleybux
42,062
He’s not ugly and has money and he is quite flashy in his pics so it’s not like he’s broke and can’t get women but I’m completely put off.Not to mention a girl I know randomly told me about him messaging her (she’s unaware me and him talk).I hide men till sh!ts serious so no one really knows bout this.
You need to beware of these types, OP. His flashy behavior does not reflect his financial situation. Also, if he's messaging multiple women online instead of approaching them in a more respectable way, that should tell you a lot about his approach to relationships. Those types are usually broke and try to flaunt on IG in hopes of finding a naive woman to mess with. HVM are not doing that. He's for the streets!
 

PostILLUSION

Team Owner
Joined
May 13, 2018
Messages
5,361
Reaction score
Reactions
61,060 2,760 1,930
60,572
Alleybux
93,518
Lol @ the women that can’t just call it gross and let you cut it off. He doesn’t owe you anything but every man isn’t sending dms to any and every woman? Some of y’all are str8 jokes on here. The sh!t y’all swear all men do and then its no wonder y’all stay with trash ass men talking bout that’s how it is. Dummy bUt yOu nOt sIngLe. Why would you date someone that thirsty regardless of y’all current status and regardless of how you found out? Foh.
 

Bella8933

Team Owner
Joined
Sep 9, 2014
Messages
34,212
Reaction score
Reactions
143,077 5,828 6,841
138,926
Alleybux
1,439,960
I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple weeks now.We have not been intimate just going on dates most we’ve done is kissed.He’s a nice guy but what I’ve found out has made me question everything.

Basically you know those guys who dm several girls hoping one replies? Yes that’s him.I had no idea he was out here chasing so many women and being thirsty as hell while he was at it.He logged into Instagram through my phone after being locked out and forget to log out.I didn’t say anything and after we parted ways I came across his dms.He was messaging everyone from ig models to regular girls.He has Snapchat so I know he doin this on there too.Some dms he was moving like he just done a 20 year stint in jail and was fresh out.Yall I can’t.I feel sick remembering it.

He’s not ugly and has money and he is quite flashy in his pics so it’s not like he’s broke and can’t get women but I’m completely put off.Not to mention a girl I know randomly told me about him messaging her (she’s unaware me and him talk).I hide men till sh!ts serious so no one really knows bout this.

I feel like I’m the girl that replied and gave in.I’m even embarrassed to be seen with him because the damn cashier at the store probably recognises him.

I want to dead it before it gets serious.He sounds thirsty and for the streets.How do I slowly break up with him without making it obvious?

Okay, how did YOU meet him?

If you met him on the internet via dms of IGs or whatever - yes you are right. You ARE the girl that answered etc. But if he is still out there trolling for women ... he does not care about you and is basically a fkboi.

If you keep seeing him .... brace yourself for the fun and games to come!
 

Brooklyn86

General Manager
Joined
Dec 25, 2015
Messages
3,724
Reaction score
Reactions
28,023 1,356 45
28,914
Alleybux
683,621
Lol at he not ugly, more like he not ugly to you. That said this man is desperate and hoping any girl bites, I’d be turned off as well.
 

TheShadowKing

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 13, 2017
Messages
5,612
Reaction score
Reactions
76,801 1,174 391
83,520
Alleybux
236,568
Why are there talks of a breakup at all in here? Yall clearly aren’t anywhere close to being exclusive and it’s only been a few weeks so if we’re keeping it real you’re pretty much still strangers those dates and a kiss don’t change that. I know its probably sobering realizing you’re one of the women who responded to his thirsty ass messages but jstop talking to him and keep it moving. It’s pretty simple.

Additionally, dude is a straight up idiot. He was so thirsty to check his IG notifications/messages that he asked for your phone and then proceeded to not log out lol. That’s just ridiculous and sad. He definitely sends messages on multiple platforms to multiple women those guys don’t just stay on one.
 

Nikka

MVP
Joined
Nov 10, 2017
Messages
554
Reaction score
Reactions
5,373 247 273
5,701
Alleybux
22,197
Also, if he's messaging multiple women online instead of approaching them in a more respectable way, that should tell you a lot about his approach to relationships
Actually, the idea that messaging women online is disrespectful needs to die.
 

KitKatt

Team Owner
Joined
Jun 29, 2013
Messages
10,813
Reaction score
Reactions
98,786 4,196 1,161
109,265
Alleybux
214,664
Why are there talks of a breakup at all in here? Yall clearly aren’t anywhere close to being exclusive and it’s only been a few weeks so if we’re keeping it real you’re pretty much still strangers those dates and a kiss don’t change that. I know its probably sobering realizing you’re one of the women who responded to his thirsty ass messages but jstop talking to him and keep it moving. It’s pretty simple.

Additionally, dude is a straight up idiot. He was so thirsty to check his IG notifications/messages that he asked for your phone and then proceeded to not log out lol. That’s just ridiculous and sad. He definitely sends messages on multiple platforms to multiple women those guys don’t just stay on one.
The last paragraph. I have never needed to check my DMs so bad that I use someone else’s phone. LOL that is a huge red flag.
 

TaniJay

Mystery Lady
Joined
Dec 12, 2020
Messages
3,803
Reaction score
Reactions
20,376 1,087 54
20,760
Alleybux
15,799
There's nothing to discuss. You can't "break up" with someone you're not in a relationship with. Just stop talking to him. You aren't exclusive. Sounds like you want him to choose you.
 
Joined
Aug 6, 2021
Messages
637
Reaction score
Reactions
9,706 452 62
9,644
Alleybux
0
This would give me the ick too. He sounds like one of those guys who’s playing the “numbers game,” just spamming as many women as possible and seeing who replies. And being delusional and pornsick enough to believe insta models would actually reply to him, lmao. I would just ghost him.
 

Almeda

Joined
Nov 4, 2016
Messages
7,937
Reaction score
Reactions
168,897 8,179 504
182,785
Alleybux
8,511,797
You’re just talking. Not together. It’s this early and a red flag is dancing in your face. Be thankful, ghost and move on.

You owe him nada.
 

MissRayeee

General Manager
Joined
Oct 11, 2019
Messages
2,281
Reaction score
Reactions
7,637 369 372
8,103
Alleybux
393,166
He’s single and not committed to you , he has a right to be in 100 girls dm if he wants . You don’t think guys are doing this while they are single ? It’s noth
 

Delebe

Team Owner
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
5,710
Reaction score
Reactions
38,897 2,309 284
41,217
Alleybux
1,197,623
Since he has money, let him buy you something nice and then gradually let him know you’re not ready to date seriously shrugs
 

Mz. Judgement

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 7, 2014
Messages
62,588
Solutions
1
Reaction score
Reactions
272,596 8,370 1,951
285,206
Alleybux
1,687,499
e. The most popular "models" have services that reply to DMs for them, so his proclamations are being read by a dude in Ukraine. It's pathetic.
Wow really?
Lol @ the women that can’t just call it gross and let you cut it off. He doesn’t owe you anything but every man isn’t sending dms to any and every woman? Some of y’all are str8 jokes on here. The sh!t y’all swear all men do and then its no wonder y’all stay with trash ass men talking bout that’s how it is. Dummy bUt yOu nOt sIngLe. Why would you date someone that thirsty regardless of y’all current status and regardless of how you found out? Foh.
I agree
 

AloneNLonely

Team Owner
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
7,480
Reaction score
Reactions
42,259 3,875 3,391
45,791
Alleybux
17,259
just stop messaging him damn

sounds like you want to keep talking to him and want us to convince you to, since he hAs MOnEy
 

Gelasia

General Manager
Joined
Sep 18, 2007
Messages
3,672
Reaction score
Reactions
23,828 281 74
27,480
Alleybux
400,566
I understand why OP would be turned off. He’s not selective. You can’t trust that you can maintain an authentic connection with someone that will literally entertain everyone.

Release him to the streets.

 

popping

General Manager
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
1,080
Reaction score
Reactions
3,337 91 17
3,332
Alleybux
55,013
You two have been dating for a few weeks, not exclusive, therefore you can't be all that surprised that he's talking (and most likely dating) other women. A lot of people multi-date before they make things official with the person of their choosing, this is just the normality and reality of dating.

If you are someone who prefers to date one person at a time, then make it clear to him. If he's game, great; if not (most likely not since it sounds like he's keeping this options open), then keep it moving.

Unless he's made you certain promises or told you certain things about how he's only seeing you, then sure, that makes him an ass; if not then he's not trying to hurt you or play you, he's just dating.
 

Similar Threads

Trending Threads

News Alley

Ask LSA

The Lounge

General Alley

Top Bottom