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Her struggle her story: reddit

Sugathonytea

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Just wanted to share her story. Some reddit stuff again.

I struggled as a teenager because of social media. I am 20 something female and I grew up in the 2000s I'm in my 20's now but when I was younger I was exposed to a lot of tg captions, bimbo fixation, similar stuff on like in deviant-art. For a while I would follow these artist and think it was good art and that it's funny. The gist of those genre of art if you can call it that is about males turning into females all the sterotypes. Deviant-art is a art sharing space but parts of it have similar art topics. Even before joining different art communites I've always noticed the way women were represented in movies and tv shows and I didn't like it. I've always noticed movies where male characters dress in drag are about mocking women. I was young when the movie white chicks came out and movies like big mama's house came out. Even at a young age I didn't like seeing women portrayed that way. I thought the movie was funny and still do. I even watched the hot chick movie at a young age and I thought it was funny but it is filled with sterotypes In almost every tv show there's one episode when males have to dress as females even people red dit and other sites have posted about it so I think it is a big thing for actors to do.

I was a tomboy when I was a child. I did play with dolls and stuff but I hated dresses and bows. I hated having my hair done, getting perms, and getting braids. I refused to do anything feminine and my much older sister would always push for me to do feminine things. I always felt like being female meant being all those negative stereotypes I saw in tv even at age 5. It seemed that femininity was demonized or men dress as women found it humiliating or you know they okay the laugh tracks I was always into art so drawing and painting were my hobbies so joining these how to draw sites was normal but deviant-art was different. Almost most of my female seeing these movies and thinking it's funny because they know how it feels to have all these social and beauty standards placed upon you

Paired with seeing my family members treats their wives like maids. Like them being funny able bodied but calling them to find the remote, fixing plates for them, doing chores while also having to work. Not being allowed to wear pants only skirts and dresses. I was 17 when I've seen my aunt wear pants for the first time and she still wears skirts because her husband doesn't want other man being attracted because she wore pants.

I didn't want to live like that.

As a teen I didn't want to be or act like a sterotype. I was like the I'm not like other girls I'm tough I'm masculine I'm one of the guys. I didn't feel comfortable being female because I felt like you are considered second class even though women now have more rights. I'm religious and some churches don't let women preach or stand on the front alter. Even in my church women are encouraged to wear dresses or skirts. I've experienced being put of the sanctuary for wearing jeans when men wore jeans and even shorts so I had to watch a livestream from another room because it wasn't allowed. Even as a child as young as five I would endure older men telling me oh you're pretty who did your hair but it was unwanted attention. I would be forced to hug people against my will . If I didn't want to hug certain men would grab me one man even nickname me rst because people called me mouse when I was a child because I rarely talked. When I was a child I hated church because I would have to sit down and have my hair curled, wear special dresses, shoes and socks. Older fonts might remember this Sunday morning having to sit down in front of the mirror and having your mom or sister flat ironing your hair and almost burning your ears I had to act ladylike and was punished if I didn't act accordingly. I would hear boys would be boys but your a girl so you can't do that. You can't play with the boys because they're too rough and you might get hurt. Boys didn't endure being hugged and kissed or sitting on laps of strangers at church.

Now that I'm older I don't hug people and people are offended by it. As an adult I've experienced trying to hug someone at church and that someone gripping me against my will and having to run away because he wouldn't stop.

At one point as a teen my father had a talk. I told him I felt like I failed him because I wasn't a son and that I'm a girl (was a teen at that time) and didn't have much potential. My family would talk about how good my bothers are like " you've got some tall sons he's gonna be a real man" and ignore me or say call me sweetheart and dismiss me but go in and in about my male family members having potential in life what they could achieve every family gathering every Holliday.

Thankfully he listened and was surprised that I felt that way. We have had a couple long talks. All the pressure left almost instantly. I was finally at peace with being who I am. I finally felt like being a woman isn't something to be ashamed of. Thankfully my father is nothing like most of his family.

One my uncle's sent male family members gifts randomly and none of the females. It wasn't a Holliday it birthday and it caused division. My aunt day me down and said he doesn't like women because we're women and that's just how it is.

Years later my siblings can be passive aggressive towards me. I posted about it before. He's generally a nice guy and tried to treat everyone with respect. He's younger but we are very close. Like we think alike something and I know what he's going to say before he says it. I don't know where this is coming from but normally he'd fine but several times he'd lashed out at me like a sterotypical incel would. I don't know if he believes what they believe or joined a new social group or something but his behavior is starting to change. At the most random times he brings up me being family. He has mentioned it's not fair women have an easier life and are not expected to do much. Sometimes he is actually very angry and raises his voice and it comes out of nowhere. At one point I was concerned for him but lately he's acting normal. Am I triggering him. One of his biggest phrases would be it's not fair she doesn't have to cut grass or do physical labor. Like cutting grass or working on cars.

At point I had a rare medical condition where I didn't do much physical labor because of the pain I experienced. I would have to constantly go the doctor or at times go the emergency room. I would keep it to myself I don't think anyone knew accept my parents do people would laugh at me behind my back because how I acted like I was in pain all the time when I was actually in pain. Walking was a struggle at point at times I would cry because I was in so much pain. My condition is rare and some people refuse the treatment available because it's painful. That's why I didn't do much physical labor. A big part of this was my father making him do it to toughen him up. So technically I was aloud to do it.

I guess certain things trigger him and he goes off. He was mad I didn't do physical work, had I didn't get a job the first year of college when he was forced to get a job sooner. We help an organization do work and because I was female the manager of the organization didn't want me doing physical work (they know my health history) and he's mad.

I could go on and on. It feels like many of the negative things I've experienced he considers to be benefits and that I should be thankful to get off easy in life . I don't engage anymore when he starts talking like that because it only makes things worst . One time my aunt asked him if he wanted to me female and was mad he wasn't one and he said no but the whole conservation was heated and wierd because I would feel bad if he was upset because he wanted to be female and wasn't . When he gets trigger I'm concerned that might be what it is. The fact that my aunt was bold enough to ask him do you want to be female in a very serious conversation really scares me I don't want him to be unhappy and it hurts that I don't know what to

He isn't the sterotypical guy. He's smart like top of his class smart gets straight a in college smart has a solid group of friends and sticks with them his friends are okay but can be wierd st times. When I first met them they were nice and didn't know I existed but the type to make jokes about hooking up with me just to mad him mad. He'd very protective of me like he doesn't like his friends to hug me or shake hands he's tries to say which guys I can date as if he has that authority when it's my choice. I wouldn't expect this from him at all.
 

MsFraser

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Your aunt is right. If he wants to be a female then go ahead and be one. The "girls live life on easy mode" is incel propaganda and many TIMs who transition do it because they think their lives will improve. Society will treat you better just because of your female xes. Being a woman isnt easy, especially when you're black.

We get bombarded of images of hyper-sexualized women and men mocking other men who show an ounce of femininity. Now it's "he is feminine so he must be a girl". It's incredibly sexist and my mind can't grapple how regressive this is. Conversely, being a tomboy means you're a boy or non-binary. Smh.

I have no idea why your father wants you to do physical work when you have a medical condition. That's nuts. A lot of bw's pain is disregarded because they assume we have higher pain tolerance. I'm happy you found a job that recognizes your condition. Ignore these males and spend more time with your aunt. And remember, girls are born girls, no male can ever become a woman. How society perceives gender expression and the way they define those are social constructs. It can change 50 years from now. You should ignore them and dress and act the way you want.
 

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