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KaylaKim

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Constantly wondering what is my 'purpose' and what am I supposed to be doing with my life.

Will good things ever happen to me and remain constant?

It feels like I've been fighting depression and on-going disappointments my whole life.
 
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incogneato

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I am so bored with life, this world is just not exciting or fun anymore. It is such a horrible feeling because there is nothing you can do about it but die, I guess. No, it isn't depression; this world is not for me and I don't think I belong here at all.
 

incogneato

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I feel like I'm just here, waiting to die.

I have to find some joy and happiness in the day to day.

I know I can't leave my cat, he is the only thing I have.
 

incogneato

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Suicidal. I finally got into university after dreaming of it and now my obstacle is money. Money is keeping me from happiness. Everything would be easier if I was rich. I’m applying to loans but my co-signer keeps getting rejected, and her credit is significantly better than mine. So what does that mean for me?? I’m going to try to ask the only other person I can ask. If even they get rejected, I’m out of luck. I can’t pull $10k out of my ass by January. I’m going to be honest, if I don’t find the money to get my education by January I’m going to genuinely consider taking my life.
 

incogneato

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What does it mean when someone chooses to self neglect?
Like say they had a dental issue that they knew they had to get sorted but doesn't
Does that person not care for themselves or are they just scared?
 

incogneato

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I feel like a hot mess. My dog is in her senior years and looks terrible. My boyfriend is failing. I found his phone under the bed, I was able to get it out. I check his dm’s and I am furious. He is messaging so many women. This is last straw. I’m getting a job and kicking him to the curb. Can’t wait for this new journey.
 

Wonder Girl

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I feel like a hot mess. My dog is in her senior years and looks terrible. My boyfriend is failing. I found his phone under the bed, I was able to get it out. I check his dm’s and I am furious. He is messaging so many women. This is last straw. I’m getting a job and kicking him to the curb. Can’t wait for this new journey.
Good luck and hope you're able to look after your dog well!
 

CandyAppleRed

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Depressed. Best way to describe my past couple of months(especially weeks) has been hell on earth. It’s amazing to think of how much torture we put ourselves through mentally. I just keep finding ways to make myself sad. Even thinking about sh!t that happened years and years ago. I don’t think my bi polar meds are working
 

incogneato

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Trying not to absorb and take in others trauma. I feel heavy lately. I hate when people label themselves as an “empath” when they truly aren’t one, what an insult.

The sh!t is not to be taken lightly and is not a gift. I do my best to shut out others feelings to keep sane. Seeing someone’s dead eyes in a photo is a trigger, I can’t even begin to express the amount of sorrow I feel for them or how much I wonder what happened to get them to that point.

I‘ve had my sprit crushed several times over. I deal with not trying to slip into too dark of a place almost daily, I can’t take on others too. No, no, no.
 

incogneato

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Overwhelmed.

and not in a way that there’s so much to do as currently I’m in hermit mode just trying to get my sh!t together cause my misery don’t love company

I’ve been working so hard for so long and tired of looking around to see that things are the same…thinking what’s the point in trying but knowing I can’t live like this

I just want to be able to celebrate something and have someone special to celebrate with
 

incogneato

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Stressed. Depressed. Don’t even know what to do for Christmas or what to get anyone. Don’t even wanna be around my family. Just everything just sucks. I thought I had this little perfect family and we were going to live happily ever after. Then I was blindsided with another baby the same age as my baby, and then distance. Being told I’m bitter and insecure because someone just couldn’t be honest with me. I just feel so low and I got mindfucked and I still can’t believe it. I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I had someone different who really truly loved me. Although not perfect I thought we had something. Ugh it’s just so much but right now, I just feel overhwelmed. Depressed and defeated and alone.
 

incogneato

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I'm barely hanging on

My life is sh!t; and if I wasn't such a coward, I would just go ahead and get it over with. I mean...I'm already dead on the inside, so actually doing the deed is merely a formality.

I honestly can't believe how badly I fµcked up my life.
 

Shhhhhhhhhhh

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Starting to get depressed and have anxiety. I’m at the vet every week for my puppy not eating and throwing up bile. It’s a cycle. It’s draining my pockets. I just took out a personal loan to pay off all of my credit cards and now I’m having to put emergency vet bills on the credit cards. Ugh. Im tired of buying different types of food and fixing it up to get her to eat only for her to turn her nose at it. Im tired. Playing fetch with her on the floor isn’t even fun for me anymore because I’m so exhausted Trying to get her to eat, at the vet, back and forth to petsmart, etc. She’s teething and not eating. I’ve tried all kinds of ways to doctor up her food. Wet. or dry. She only weighs 2.7lbs and can’t afford to miss too many meals or else she will get hypoglycemic.

I broke down crying today in the middle of the floor and she ran up to me and licked my tears. It was the sweetest thing but if only she knew that she was the reason I’m crying. i can’t sleep at night because I fear she is going to start throwing up and get hypoglycemic.

I feel stuck and restricted in the house. Working from home and taking care of a sick puppy all the time is taking a toll on me.

I joined Meetup and have plans Friday that I have been looking forward to for a month. If she’s still sick, I’m not going to go. I will be so disappointed and angry. But when do I get some me time?

I’m tired of being single. I’mthisclosetogetting on a dating app even though I know it’s trash men out there.

I’m tired of being broke and barely keeping my head above water. I’ve been looking for remote part time jobs but nobody is biting back or they are wasting my time with the interviews.

My spring tuition is due in a few weeks and I ain’t got it. I can do a payment plan but it’s still a couple hundred every month that I Don’t have.

I’m tired of going. I don’t want to keep going anymore. Tired of the grind. The hustle. I want to be saved. I’m ready to throw in the towel.
 

incogneato

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This grief, depression & anxiety is ruining me. It got bad Friday & worsened throughout the weekend. Tired of having attacks and just crying. Tired of feeling so good one day and broken the next. I'm barely eating. I don't even want the food here. I want to cook my own & to do so in my own space. I'm not in my own home so I can't even process these feelings how I usually do.

No real privacy & I'm not close to anyone here except my bf who doesn't know what to do to help me. He tries but honestly I prefer he keep his distance. Wishing my best friend was here.
 

incogneato

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I haven’t showered in 3 days because I’m too depressed. I can barely get out of bed. It’s strange because Monday I had a day where I spent the whole day full of energy, positivity, and got a lot accomplished. It’s like I just crashed Monday night.
 

CHEEZITQUEEN

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Tired, tired, TIRED!

I just got home from being in the hospital for 5 days, and I am so glad I'm out of that ISHHOLE of a hospital.

Just took a shower after not having one since Saturday morning, and I'm trying to relax ad get some rest.
 

incogneato

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Trying not to absorb and take in others trauma. I feel heavy lately. I hate when people label themselves as an “empath” when they truly aren’t one, what an insult.

The sh!t is not to be taken lightly and is not a gift. I do my best to shut out others feelings to keep sane. Seeing someone’s dead eyes in a photo is a trigger, I can’t even begin to express the amount of sorrow I feel for them or how much I wonder what happened to get them to that point.

I‘ve had my sprit crushed several times over. I deal with not trying to slip into too dark of a place almost daily, I can’t take on others too. No, no, no.

I feel you, if someone just about looks at me the wrong way, it wears on me the rest of the day.
 

201520162017

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I feel so depressed. Lawd. I don't know what I am going to do next week. I am afraid that I won't be able to make it.
 

lovefash67

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I have been feeling stressed and defeated the last couple of months but somehow everyday,I find strength to go to work and come home and do my do my other jobs and be productive. Today, I feel so sad that I don’t want to do anything. I just started a new job and I’m over it. I’m burnt out from my career and I want to change careers and though I’ve only been applying for jobs the last week or two I’m starting to feel discouraged. On top of that, my relationship has been a bit rocky the last three months. We definitely love each other but sometimes I feel like I need more help and he’s helpful but only to a certain extent.I want him ti be more of a go getter and take initiative all the time , I know that’s not possible because we’re different people. I’m very much on the go and he’s very much laid back a bit too laid back at times.
I just really want my life to get better. Finance wise I feel like I’m getting by but only because I literally have to work three jobs to sustain myself and also be able to save and invest. I’m burnt out ! I want a break ! I really want to quit my jobs and just do nothing for at least one month but I know my anxiety would be through the roof I would feel like I’m a bum and I’m missing out on money but I just want to live one day where I don’t feel like I have be responsible for everything and on the go. I want to slack off without feeling guilty.
 

incogneato

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Lately I've been struggling with feeling lost and like I don't belong. Whenever I am around people, I just feel boxed out or like there is a wall. I don't think I have ever felt mentally/emotionally connected with a person to where I want to talk to them or want to put in an effort to keep them in my life. I don't know if that's because I'm defective in that area or if I'm just getting older. I feel very lonely despite what I have going for myself. I am on the path of success and doing what I need to do. Literally had people shower me with gifts a few days ago. But I don't feel hopeful about the future in terms of friendships or any kind of relationships. I keep thinking about this one person and I have been for such a long time. And I want it to stop. I'm tired of torturing myself over them. I know I deserve better but my mind keeps defaulting back to them. I just want to be at peace and happy with what I have. I feel guilty for feeling so down and discontent.
 

KaylaKim

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Wanting to escape
Feeling left behind in life and useless
(among the long-term unemployed; severely frustrated bc I've been putting in numerous applications, etc. How am I supposed to take care of myself as an adult and no one has hired me yet. This has been going on for years and I'm so fµck!ng tired of feeling like an invalid.)
 
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practicing gratitude and welcoming positive thoughts on my good days.... I've had the blues for a continuous few weeks and I'm finally feeling lighter.... I hope everyone has a beautiful Christmas and a Happy New Year
 

incogneato

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Deflated and defeated, but not conquered. Who knew the path to choosing and putting yourself first could be plagued with so much guilt!
 

incogneato

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I feel like I'm suffering in silence. I'm realizing that new social situations stress me the fµck out to the point where I freeze and just stare off. I get so flustered that I can't maintain eye contact and I stutter. However, when I'm in an engaging environment (where I feel interest) and/or talking about my interests, I do just fine. I learn from being in new social situations but I'm tired of looking weird and being socially awkward.
 

CandyAppleRed

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Feeling much better than yesterday. I had a long talk with my father about my depression and bipolar. He’s still trying to understand it but I’m happy he’s making effort. That being said, im going to take the next week to make peace with my past. I don’t want to take this heavy baggage into the new year. I will overcome this.
 
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Feeling lost. Just lost my girlfriend and don't know what to do. Couple months ago lost my grandma who raised me
 

Templeton

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I'm a little disappointed in myself. I'm straddling the line of wanting to be super productive before the end of the year so I can't start Jan off with a bang or just relaxing and resting the last week of the year so I can be refreshed and invirograted. Today I got up and created a much-needed to-do list, only to eat a big meal and take a 4-hour nap. And since the sun goes down super early nowadays I feel like the whole day is gone...

I guess I can follow the Small Thing method and just get SOMETHING done, like washing my clothes and celebrating my little win and praying that leads into some other wins.

I am happy the holidays are over, even though I still have to send gifts still. I just need a long break from people for a bit.
 

Wonder Girl

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Wondering if I have a good future or not, I have so many hobbies and goals I can identify as wanting to pursue but will I ever get there from where I'm at now?It just doesn't seem possible from here, eviction could be on the horizon but it's not a rent thing, it's my mother's behavior and I know I need to move but there seem to be so many obstacles in the way at the moment.

I've made threads about my mom situation on here a million times and officially have people familiar talking about what someone should post ''the next time I make a thread'' to other fonts or talking about me wanting to ''wallow in misery'' and apparently describing me as ''rabid''.I mention that to say, I've been so inept at breaking free of my mental manacles I've exasperated some fonts on here, so unfortunately this has gone on for some time and simply put, I know that's not good.

Posted a thread today about something she randomly confronted me about that got laugh ratings actually and little did I know, what I posted about was only the beginning of her acting nuts and antagonistic towards me, being impossible to speak with at all.It's the sort of thing that makes my temper flare honestly and I know that's definitely not a good thing provided what it's led to in the past.

Basically, I'm just venting here, I'm so frustrated and there could be another confrontation just because I'm trying to get to a convenience store tomorrow morning, she doesn't ''allow'' me to go to it though I'm an adult and that aside, I just feel so alone.It's like there's potential eviction that gets us out in the cold and on the street, the police getting called about something that's been going on, staff in the very building we reside in acting shady that might be in on getting us evicted, this 24/7 blaring radio that's getting us evicted I'm no fan of either and it's just nothing but negativity and stress all around.

I don't understand why things couldn't stay peaceful, I hate this situation and if I can't so much as get to a convenience store alone or basically go wherever I please, quite frankly, I might have a break down.

End rant.
 

incogneato

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Today is just one of those days. I feel so trapped in this world because my hate for being here is very strong. Why couldn't I have existed somewhere better ?
 

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