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How Can I deal with

sasha032

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My annoying and passive aggressive whyte co-workers? I am the only woman of color in my department, and they have a problem with me being quiet, doing my work, and staying to myself. It bugs them that I don't fit their stereotypes or preconceived notions about black women.

I'm trying my best to remain professional. I don't want to lose my job over punching someone in the face, or cussing them out, and obviously ignoring the bs isn't working either..

Just tired of the shade and passive aggressive behavior, and micro managing.. (rant over).
 

RickiSpanish

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Girl I have the same problem, it's like they can't stand to see someone minding their own damn buisness. Luckily I get to wear headphones at my job. I only take them off when absolutely necessary. Black people always gotta be fµck!ng tapdancing or you're stuck up.😬 I haven't really found a solution either sadly.
 

Eminem

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i used to get that "youre so quiet" "you must be up to something" "are you mad at me?" sh!t from white people at work too...just b/c I'm not a loud black woman.

i say just remain professional.
 

Sunken Palace

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Remain professional and don't buy into their/get involved with their antics in the work place. Keep your nose clean at all times when dealing with them
 
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I've dealt with this throughout my career. Stay focused. It will not be pretty nor will it be easy. I wish I had a simple solution for you but honestly, I don't. As long as you remember not to let their ignorance pull you down to their level, then you should be okay. Never let them put you in a position where you will lose your job- they will try.

It's gotten better (or should I say, 'different'?) over the last few years since I have been in higher positions. I've had to put a few people in their place and call them out on their racist, prejudice selves more than once. Do it with grace, do it tactfully, and do it in a way that leaves them feeling straight up stupid and confused.
 

cmc1974

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You need to learn how to reverse that sh!t back on them. When you are detecting shade simply put on your nice/nasty face and say I'm sorry, is there an issue here? Or repeat that mess back to them prefaced with Am I understanding you to say....

You can gather them broad real quick using those techniques while keeping your hands clean. Trust me, because you don't fit their stereotype they are going to be blown by the way you question their messiness.
 

LuxuryLady

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There's a difference between doing your work and being standoffish. I'm quiet and do my work but I know it's important to engage with coworkers socially, even if it's just making sure to say good morning every day. Or sometimes I'll bake treats for the whole office but I let my cubicle neighbirs get first dibs before I put it in the kitchen. If your professional and friendly and they still got a problem, then that's an issue. To me it sounds more like they wanna talk and get you know you more
 

NoirPrincess

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The bad news is they will get worse. If they have not been stopped, it means the company is "conservative" and "traditional" and they don't care.

The good news is, now you have options.

Early in my career, I accepted it and ignored it.

Then I began to be extra and do things to annoy them while bringing attention to how their behavior hurt the team and company. I still do this. Good companies that want to last will not deal with that and the best companies work hard to rid the company of the racists and hire diverse workforces. Companies with diverse employees, acceptance and integration of multiculturalism, and zero tolerance for discrimination do better financially and in reviews from employees.

The racists are also usually the laziest, dumbest, and least productive. Use that.

If I see the company accepts racism and everyone engages in it, me and my experience won't be there long enough to make the seat of my chair warm and while I am there, they will get what is required and not all of this excellence.

You don't have to stay and you hurt them when they leave. If you quit, you are also not faced with being fired or laid off, which they will do to get you out of their office, and being subject to an agreement to shut up in exchange for a severance check. You can talk and tell everyone what is up.
 

drunkghost

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There's a difference between doing your work and being standoffish. I'm quiet and do my work but I know it's important to engage with coworkers socially, even if it's just making sure to say good morning every day. Or sometimes I'll bake treats for the whole office but I let my cubicle neighbirs get first dibs before I put it in the kitchen. If your professional and friendly and they still got a problem, then that's an issue. To me it sounds more like they wanna talk and get you know you more
I don't get this ... I like minding my business at work and in general a quiet person I don't see the reason to engage in socializing especially when they only want to socialize when they decide to talk if you decide to start or come off as being too nice it seems suspicious or like I stepped out of line that's why I stay quiet plus every white person at my job is so fake!!!! I can't stand it
 

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