Quantcast

How can I stop students from negging my appearance as a substitute teacher.

incogneato

No face, no case.
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
396,401
Reaction score
Reactions
2,689,467 494,975 222,864
2,889,393
Alleybux
665,324
Its truly getting to me now. I am a young, female substitute teacher. Ive recently been subbing at high schools in the more rough part of town b/c I'm sick of the pretentious and smug students at the high schools near me. Anyway since ive done this ive had male students mainly and female students to a less extent instantly start negging my apperance when I start enforcing rules or attempting to right their wrongs (ex: telling them to put the phones away, asking to get on task, lower the volume, etc). Mind you i am a very laid back sub but im not going to let them walk over me so I make sure to stand my ground. When i do they almost always lash out on me. For example today i went home crying because i was just so sick of being berated for no reason. This male student loudly asked while snickering 'Iz dat yo real hair?' after I called the dean on a group of freshmen girls they invited to their teacher's class. Before i could even say anything another male student said 'you know dat sh!t ain't real with her baldheaded ass'. (I wear clip in afro extensions so my hair is big in a natural way) Then they go on and on about it while the entire class is laughing. Another one goes in saying my teeth is yellow and that 'I'm doing too much'. Whenever i tried to get them to stop and be quiet they mocked my voice and told me to stio talking like that. I feel like aome of them aren't exposed to black women who aren't their norm. I keep hearing them say I'm 'doing too much' like im suppossed to let them run havoc. Its like deja vu because every school i go to the gair issue comes up, students saying how ugly i am, etc. Im just sick of it. It's screwing up my self-esteem b/c now im asking my bf if my hair looks bad and if im really ugly when i know what some 16 year old is saying shouldnt bother me. Its so hard being a black teacher b/c sone students just will not respect you especially if they see you as 'soft'.I feel like they think im too uppity or something and its their way of putting me in my place but im 100% sure they wouldnt be doing all this crap to a young white or latina sub. My question is how should i handle these situations going forward. When i called the dean in the boys were still talking sh!t about my 'wig' in front of the dean and just berating me. My hair is similar to this btw to anyone who cares.
 

Attachments

  • 9a6e712fda89db3c2130a28193bbd177.jpg
    9a6e712fda89db3c2130a28193bbd177.jpg
    40.1 KB · Views: 747

TNTJackson

Top notch hoes get the most, not the lesser
Joined
Mar 6, 2013
Messages
16,806
Reaction score
Reactions
109,685 2,659 794
127,920
Alleybux
195,003
Girl you strong because Jamal and LaKeisha’s feelings woulda got hurt and I would’ve been fired :LOL:
 

YUWannaNo

DA SAM HILL WRONG WITCHU
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
20,726
Reaction score
Reactions
126,294 2,721 602
136,469
Alleybux
492,568
I have no words of advice but this is why I cannot be a teacher cause some of these children will make you hate them. Furthermore, they need to be written up for cursing in class
 

manimbored

General Manager
Joined
Nov 4, 2014
Messages
1,651
Reaction score
Reactions
14,746 397 189
14,679
Alleybux
9,550
Teachers don't get paid enough to deal with what they deal with. I have no good advice for you cause I probably would've sent them home crying to their parents. I'll just pray for you.

Certain "schools" have a low tolerance for stuff like that so maybe if you could research and try to work at those sort of schools? If you are in the Philly area, I do have a recommendation for a school that doesn't tolerate stuff like that. Sub or not.
 

Schoolmarm

A Dope Autism Mom
Joined
Sep 28, 2016
Messages
15,193
Reaction score
Reactions
73,791 3,651 2,167
82,963
Alleybux
13,016
Breath. Subbing sucks. Ignore the comments and remember that you are the grown up. Do not smile and be real cold. If you have to address anyone's behavior start with Young man or Young lady. You have to show them respect and set boundaries. If they insult you pretend like you didn't hear it. If they said something horrible go to your desk and pretend to be writing something. Look up at the kid once and write for another 2minutes. You don't have to be writing sh!t but this makes the kid think that they are under your radar.Also pick up the room phone and pretend to dial. In a loud voice ask to speak to the principal. Remember you are talking to the dial tone
Watch half the class settle down. Girl, I use to just think about munchkin and remember it's for him and no one was going to stop me from providing for him.

Sorry so long but I wanted to share and your post triggered me
 

Sugar.

You didn’t grow up with LeVar Burton and it shows.
Joined
Aug 15, 2014
Messages
25,574
Reaction score
Reactions
348,383 3,953 743
421,126
Alleybux
87,500
I'd drag them, they mama, and their grandmother and then kick them out. Slam the door right in their face. School is for learning, if people kids don't want to do it then they can go find some business somewhere else.
 
Joined
Sep 11, 2014
Messages
8,121
Reaction score
Reactions
61,985 2,707 1,953
63,782
Alleybux
325,332
I'm sorry that you're going through this.

Have you thought about teaching younger students?

Maybe teaching teenagers isn't right for you?

Stay strong.
 

SeriesENEC

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 11, 2011
Messages
27,506
Reaction score
Reactions
271,504 9,936 1,720
301,123
Alleybux
67,593
They see that it bothers you that's why they go in.

What ever they throw at you, just own it. If they call you ugly, your response should be "Thank you!"

If they ask is that your hair, your response should be, "No, it's not; it's a weave just like everyone else's".

Bottom line, you need to remove the power from their words.

You have given their words power.
 

PostILLUSION

Team Owner
Joined
May 13, 2018
Messages
5,361
Reaction score
Reactions
61,060 2,760 1,931
60,571
Alleybux
93,518
Be strong. I remember being that kid and honestly they pick up on weakness. So like if you’re literally breaking down inside you’ve gotta work through that. Therapy can help. But really being that they are kids you should just keep that in mind and keep affirmations on repeat. Once you aren’t affected by their words, they will sense this and stop. It’s important to not take anyone’s opinions to heart to the point you doubt yourself. It’s important because not just students in a rough area will try you like this.
 
Last edited:

Schoolmarm

A Dope Autism Mom
Joined
Sep 28, 2016
Messages
15,193
Reaction score
Reactions
73,791 3,651 2,167
82,963
Alleybux
13,016
Don't verbally address the comments about your looks. Get an attitude though. Give him the look of death. Roll your eyes. But don't verbally engage in a comment about your looks. It's about your money. Bottom line. Keep saying that to yourself. Don't take anything they say personally. I remember those kids messing with me. It's not you it's them. In schools with nice black Children the kids really enjoyed me and the class. The girls complimented everything, my clothes, hair, looks . It's not you.
 
Last edited:

NespressoHo3

purple people eater
Joined
Mar 29, 2012
Messages
3,092
Reaction score
Reactions
21,788 637 201
23,190
Alleybux
14,385
Just ignore them OP. They're ignorant and weren't raised right. Back when I was in school we were bad, but we would never go that far. If we didn't want to behave with a sub we wouldn't even go to class. I don't understand kids now, a lot of them are so damaged. This is why I haven't even made the effort to take my certification tests. I don't think it's even worth it at this point.
 

SeriesENEC

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 11, 2011
Messages
27,506
Reaction score
Reactions
271,504 9,936 1,720
301,123
Alleybux
67,593
Don't verbally address the comments about your looks. Get an attitude though. Give him the look of death. Roll your eyes. But don't verbally engage in a comment about your looks.

That does not work with these kids. Unfortunately, the teachers and staff that are getting respect are the ones that put them in their place or cuss them out.

They are kids and they seek out easy target.
 

stubborn

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 19, 2013
Messages
31,785
Reaction score
Reactions
145,854 11,419 18,059
129,023
Alleybux
8,227
Its so hard being a black teacher b/c sone students just will not respect you

but im 100% sure they wouldnt be doing all this crap to a young white or latina sub.

Your race has nothing to do with it. All teacher of all races get mistreated. Trust.

My question is how should i handle these situations going forward.

If they don't care that the principal is called, and don't care about being in trouble, then I don't think there is much you can do.

I think you should probably look into teaching younger kids instead.
 

KamaSutra

Consume the lies|Corrupt your mind|
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,214
Reaction score
Reactions
54,307 2,116 324
58,633
Alleybux
184,032
I understand you OP.

I've been meaning to make a thread on this very same thing.

These kids are so damn disrespectful. Especially the young black boys.

I can't really give you good advice cause I used to snap back when they come for me. I get just as ignorant as they do. But Now I take a different approach like I'm their aunt or something. I talk to them about their future and I make them tell me what they want to be. We talk about the latest gossip and dances and I incorporate that into our curriculum.

I would say though, maybe you should refrain from subbing for highschoolers. I find 4th grade and lower aren't as sarcastic and ignorant as highschoolers. Otherwise you have to have thick skin with them bad ass kids.

Maybe try to be more of an aunty type instead of the principal type. Find a way that they will respect you but I know its hard. Otherwise chunk they ass the deuces.
 

Schoolmarm

A Dope Autism Mom
Joined
Sep 28, 2016
Messages
15,193
Reaction score
Reactions
73,791 3,651 2,167
82,963
Alleybux
13,016
That does not work with these kids. Unfortunately, the teachers and staff that are getting respect are the ones that put them in their place or cuss them out.

They are kids and they seek out easy target.
In Southeast Queens it does. I subbed for about 4 years. Where can you get away with cursing out the kids? Not in my district. Those kids are ready to drop dime on you in a second. I was getting called to the worst middle schools in the district. I had to learn to survive.
 

MysteriousMW

Stop being mean to each other ♡
Joined
Jul 25, 2015
Messages
10,623
Reaction score
Reactions
93,451 950 266
107,406
Alleybux
165,324
Sometimes...you have to get to their level to gain respect. But I wouldn't risk my job b/c the, teach the babies (4-8) and inspire them instead.
 

YUWannaNo

DA SAM HILL WRONG WITCHU
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
20,726
Reaction score
Reactions
126,294 2,721 602
136,469
Alleybux
492,568
I understand you OP.

I've been meaning to make a thread on this very same thing.

These kids are so damn disrespectful. Especially the young black boys.

I can't really give you good advice cause I used to snap back when they come for me. I get just as ignorant as they do. But Now I take a different approach like I'm their aunt or something. I talk to them about their future and I make them tell me what they want to be. We talk about the latest gossip and dances and I incorporate that into our curriculum.

I would say though, maybe you should refrain from subbing for highschoolers. I find 4th grade and lower aren't as sarcastic and ignorant as highschoolers. Otherwise you have to have thick skin with them bad ass kids.

Maybe try to be more of an aunty type instead of the principal type. Find a way that they will respect you but I know its hard. Otherwise chunk they ass the deuces.

This is an excellent approach...incorporate pop culture into the plans. If you asked them what they wanna be and they say a rapper. Ask them how they gonna keep track of they money if they can't count? How they gonna know when the label is swindling them if they don't know the math you are teaching...make them think
 

YUWannaNo

DA SAM HILL WRONG WITCHU
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
20,726
Reaction score
Reactions
126,294 2,721 602
136,469
Alleybux
492,568
In Southeast Queens it does. I subbed for about 4 years. Where can you get away with cursing out the kids? Not in my district. Those kids are ready to drop dime on you in a second. I was getting called to the worst middle schools in the district. I had to learn to survive.

I think ms is worse than hs
 

Saynah

Top Model
Joined
Nov 29, 2015
Messages
4,715
Reaction score
Reactions
17,921 753 215
17,934
Alleybux
62,730
Get a well paying teaching job overseas. Those students will respect you as their adult superior and you'll have a lot of nice benefits. Let these young kids drown in their misery stateside or let them find a teacher who can speak their language and handle their aggresiveness. You don't need to be forced into such stress and verbal abuse. I don't feel bad for saying this. Teenagers are miserable and technology has only made it more unbearable. They'll start squaring up if you even attempt to take their phones away and they have no sense of respect for authority. And like a court jester, they'll say anything to please the class and get a laugh. Apply online, Dubai or South Korea has excellent expat teaching positions. With whatever you decide I wish you lots of luck and happiness. Please don't allow some unaware, probably self conscious, child who doesn't have even half the experience you do dictate how you view and feel about yourself. You are an accomplished young woman. Sending you love :love
 

Schoolmarm

A Dope Autism Mom
Joined
Sep 28, 2016
Messages
15,193
Reaction score
Reactions
73,791 3,651 2,167
82,963
Alleybux
13,016
my fights took place in ms really and it was always with boys. It's like you had to beat their @$$ to gain a semblance of respect from them
Yes!!!! Those fights can ruin your career too. Many days it was just about keeping everyone safe. If we learned anything we were lucky. My heart is pounding thinking about subbing. LMAO. It was really traumatic.
 

Drowning In Geraniums

Get Your Kang Zaquan Away From Me!
BANNED
Joined
Sep 27, 2018
Messages
2,052
Reaction score
Reactions
15,964 1,772 943
15,090
Alleybux
0
Tell them to shut their ugly, broke down, stank asses up before you knock their mama’s wig clean off.

Seriously I would send each and every one of them to the principal’s office and try to get them suspended or at least put in detention.
 

PROV0CATEUR

Flyin Air Bronco Like Diddy
Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Messages
29,810
Reaction score
Reactions
348,315 17,355 6,657
436,161
Alleybux
319,688
Girl fµck those kids and boss up. Are you seriously going to take to heart what some raggedy teens got to say? You have to get thick skin because when you kick them they don’t get punished because their parents are just the same

You doing too much = and you not doing enough that’s why you are a senior in a sophomore class

Is your hair real = are you Jordan’s real?

You’re bald under that wig = you damn right and you light headed that’s why you don’t understand the basic lesson
 

YUWannaNo

DA SAM HILL WRONG WITCHU
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
20,726
Reaction score
Reactions
126,294 2,721 602
136,469
Alleybux
492,568
Yes!!!! Those fights can ruin your career too. Many days it was just about keeping everyone safe. If we learned anything we were lucky. My heart is pounding thinking about subbing. LMAO. It was really traumatic.

oh this is when I was a kid and I think some of the teachers would be secretly happy that an annoying brat got their tails whipped. I cannot teach cause some of these children will make you lay hands on them
 

MsBabyblue

General Manager
Joined
Jun 25, 2016
Messages
4,442
Reaction score
Reactions
38,981 1,322 329
41,272
Alleybux
397,794
Don’t let them see you get visibly upset girl, that’s when they know they got you. I don’t go tit for tat, but I do embarrass they ass if need be. “

I’m ugly but you can’t spell and you’re 15 in the 6th grade.” For example. I’m petty I know.
 

LaVieBoheme

Block and ignore the racists. Don’t feed them.
Joined
Jan 17, 2017
Messages
21,291
Reaction score
Reactions
358,287 10,574 2,206
399,909
Alleybux
1,500
Everybody saying to cuss out, snap on, or fight these kids are the same ones that when a video goes viral of a teacher losing it and cussing everyone out, will act appalled that the grown up did that to some kids.
 

HazelReader

General Manager
Joined
Jul 29, 2015
Messages
2,374
Reaction score
Reactions
14,162 278 39
15,008
Alleybux
61,198
Have you considered subbing for elementary school (3rd grade and down) students or teaching digitally?
 

Tawaii

Team Owner
BANNED
Joined
Jun 10, 2007
Messages
5,091
Reaction score
Reactions
23,427 3,221 7,239
16,188
Alleybux
0
Its truly getting to me now. I am a young, female substitute teacher. Ive recently been subbing at high schools in the more rough part of town b/c I'm sick of the pretentious and smug students at the high schools near me. Anyway since ive done this ive had male students mainly and female students to a less extent instantly start negging my apperance when I start enforcing rules or attempting to right their wrongs (ex: telling them to put the phones away, asking to get on task, lower the volume, etc). Mind you i am a very laid back sub but im not going to let them walk over me so I make sure to stand my ground. When i do they almost always lash out on me. For example today i went home crying because i was just so sick of being berated for no reason. This male student loudly asked while snickering 'Iz dat yo real hair?' after I called the dean on a group of freshmen girls they invited to their teacher's class. Before i could even say anything another male student said 'you know dat sh!t ain't real with her baldheaded ass'. (I wear clip in afro extensions so my hair is big in a natural way) Then they go on and on about it while the entire class is laughing. Another one goes in saying my teeth is yellow and that 'I'm doing too much'. Whenever i tried to get them to stop and be quiet they mocked my voice and told me to stio talking like that. I feel like aome of them aren't exposed to black women who aren't their norm. I keep hearing them say I'm 'doing too much' like im suppossed to let them run havoc. Its like deja vu because every school i go to the gair issue comes up, students saying how ugly i am, etc. Im just sick of it. It's screwing up my self-esteem b/c now im asking my bf if my hair looks bad and if im really ugly when i know what some 16 year old is saying shouldnt bother me. Its so hard being a black teacher b/c sone students just will not respect you especially if they see you as 'soft'.I feel like they think im too uppity or something and its their way of putting me in my place but im 100% sure they wouldnt be doing all this crap to a young white or latina sub. My question is how should i handle these situations going forward. When i called the dean in the boys were still talking sh!t about my 'wig' in front of the dean and just berating me. My hair is similar to this btw to anyone who cares.

Before you are forced to pop off on one of them, I’d go back to the smug suburban school and collect my pay because stress can kill you!
 

TheCluesIleftForYou

Team Owner
Joined
Feb 3, 2018
Messages
18,630
Reaction score
Reactions
276,395 15,292 4,091
302,275
Alleybux
106,932
Student say things to me daily (5th grade teacher). They have little respect and majority of their parents don’t care. You can honestly tear them apart verbally but it is never worth it. What do you care what a little mistake has to say about you. A child that mother probably spends more time trying to get back their father than worry about their education. Who wakes up every morning so disappointed by their surrounds that they have to to come to school and make fun of someone who is already half way successful in their life. Something they can only hope to be. They probably will grow up to be a Walmart employee, the kids they bullied being their boss. Get pregnant or get someone pregnant they can’t afford. And their children will be there bitching just like them. They will leave the bad urban neighborhood just like their parents and their parents parents. And that’s why they make fun of your looks because it’s all they have to make their life have meaning.

Don’t allow them to take away your meaning fµck THOSE KIDS. And I’m saying this as a teacher. Never let them take away your joy, most are joyless. And nobody who isn’t a teacher will understand
 
Last edited:

PROV0CATEUR

Flyin Air Bronco Like Diddy
Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Messages
29,810
Reaction score
Reactions
348,315 17,355 6,657
436,161
Alleybux
319,688
Have you considered subbing for elementary school (3rd grade and down) students or teaching digitally?
Those third graders would eat her up too.

The issue is that the OP takes things too seriously.

When you work with low income students you have to remember that their norm isn’t your norm. If you are well put together and look nice you look like a threat because they prefer busted down teachers who probably remind them of their mothers.

Most low income kids are taught that talking right is talking white and the white man aint sh!t. So not only are you eloquent but you’re black and considered rare. You’re automatically assigned the label of too good for XYZ.

Now you want kids to read and write when they are probably below reading level. That’s threatening. If they do partake in front of the class they would be embarrassed. Especially when you are well versed.

They probably consider the best substitutes the ones who let them get away with murder but the one person making them do what their supposed to do is a threat!

Don’t get mind fµcked by those kids.
 

Similar Threads

The Culture

News Alley

Top Bottom