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How do you deal with those kids that always get referrals

Favour

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You know those kids that always gets called to the office. I had one the last semester. He was a disaster. He got suspended because of me. This year, I have another one. Every teacher has problems with her, but she is worse with me. She is very troubled. Comes from a bad home, mama beats her, sags all the time. bla bla bla. This is the 5th week. I'm over it. I don't know how i always butt heads with people like that. Is it because i look quiet and i'm very soft spoken? Like is that a beacon to them to bully me or something? Its like they enjoy pissing me off. Admin always makes excuses that these kids are from bad homes. But the thing is these kids are bad kids. They are intentionally pissing me off just for the fun of it, because they sense that i'm not like their other older teachers. I'm fairly young, and very easy going and soft spoken, and are taking advantage of me. Its bullies that torment people that they perceive as weak.
 

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You know those kids that always gets called to the office. I had one the last semester. He was a disaster. He got suspended because of me. This year, I have another one. Every teacher has problems with her, but she is worse with me. She is very troubled. Comes from a bad home, mama beats her, sags all the time. bla bla bla. This is the 5th week. I'm over it. I don't know how i always butt heads with people like that. Is it because i look quiet and i'm very soft spoken? Like is that a beacon to them to bully me or something? Its like they enjoy pissing me off. Admin always makes excuses that these kids are from bad homes. But the thing is these kids are bad kids. They are intentionally pissing me off just for the fun of it, because they sense that i'm not like their other older teachers. I'm fairly young, and very easy going and soft spoken, and are taking advantage of me. Its bullies that torment people that they perceive as weak.

I don't know much about the kids you teach, but they know it bothers you. It is very infuriating, but try not to take it so personally. After all, if that child is giving everyone a fit it is not just you. Don't engage them. Give that child something easy to do an a lot of it. Keep her busy. Eventually she'll get tired. I know your pain. I have some children who are just contrary and disrespectful for no reason, but I when I quit taking it personally it made it easier not to engage their behavior and to be the adult. Remember you run the room and you are the adult. I found out calling your students' parents before the beginning of school helps too. Just email or call them, tell them you look forward to teaching their child. Talk to them. Get to know them.
 
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I don't know much about the kids you teach, but they know it bothers you. It is very infuriating, but try not to take it so personally. After all, if that child is giving everyone a fit it is not just you. Don't engage them. Give that child something easy to do an a lot of it. Keep her busy. Eventually she'll get tired. I know your pain. I have some children who are just contrary and disrespectful for no reason, but I when I stopped taking it personally It made it easier not to engage their behavior and to be the adult. Remember you run the room and you are the adult. I found out calling your students' parents before the beginning of school helps too. Just email or call them, tell them you look forward to teaching their child. Talk to them. Get to know them.
Nah, this kids mom beats her up. She is very smart but she is so troubled. I used to be bullied a lot so this is so triggering for me.
 

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Nah, this kids mom beats her up. She is very smart but she is so troubled. I used to be bullied a lot so this is so triggering for me.


Yes, talk to all parents ahead of time. I know where you're coming from. The projects are within walking distance of my school. Talk to the parents regardless. It might be a little too late, but start talking to them at the beginning of the year. Don't talk about behavior, do a wellness check. Introduce yourself. Answer questions no matter how "duh" they may seem to you. We as teachers really take the parents for granted. Just because it looks like they're not trying doesn't mean they're not trying. I hope that makes sense. Sometimes they are really doing the best they can, with the resources, emotional intelligence and intelligence they can. Talking to them welcomes them and puts them at ease. In return might help the bad ones to see you in a different light, because most kids want you to be nice to their moms.


You know I did some wellness checks on my kids. Thinking most of them were skipping my class. I found out that some of the kids had not logged in because their parents didn't know how to manage Zoom. You would also be surprised how not having money, can turn the smallest issue into the biggest problem. Simple things like coming up to the school can be a problem when you don't have necessities.

Please don't take me wrong but some parents are special ed. I know that is not the pc word, but I am trying to get my point across. So you have kids doing it all by themselves. Teenagers don't have the right emotional skills to handle that kind of adversity. So they throw fits out of frustration. Once I had a meltdown in 8th grade because I left my agenda at school overnight. That doesn't excuse poor behavior, but that can help you not take them so personally. When you don't take them personally, you can handle them with your intellect and not your emotions.

Trust me, I know where you have been. I have been called names. I've had them pry into my personal life and try to use that against me........when there is nothing to use. I have had lies mad up on me, just because they didn't like my class. I've been ready to fight a few, because it ain't nothing like an ole fast 17 year old girl with a smart mouth. Is there? But once you start studying them and using different ways to address problems, you can solve some of your problems. Though it will never be perfect.
 

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Yes, talk to all parents ahead of time. I know where you're coming from. The projects are within walking distance of my school. Talk to the parents regardless. It might be a little too late, but start talking to them at the beginning of the year. Don't talk about behavior, do a wellness check. Introduce yourself. Answer questions no matter how "duh" they may seem to you. We as teachers really take the parents for granted. Just because it looks like they're not trying doesn't mean they're not trying. I hope that makes sense. Sometimes they are really doing the best they can, with the resources, emotional intelligence and intelligence they can. Talking to them welcomes them and puts them at ease. In return might help the bad ones to see you in a different light, because most kids want you to be nice to their moms.


You know I did some wellness checks on my kids. Thinking most of them were skipping my class. I found out that some of the kids had not logged in because their parents didn't know how to manage Zoom. You would also be surprised how not having money, can turn the smallest issue into the biggest problem. Simple things like coming up to the school can be a problem when you don't have necessities.

Please don't take me wrong but some parents are special ed. I know that is not the pc word, but I am trying to get my point across. So you have kids doing it all by themselves. Teenagers don't have the right emotional skills to handle that kind of adversity. So they throw fits out of frustration. Once I had a meltdown in 8th grade because I left my agenda at school overnight. That doesn't excuse poor behavior, but that can help you not take them so personally. When you don't take them personally, you can handle them with your intellect and not your emotions.

Trust me, I know where you have been. I have been called names. I've had them pry into my personal life and try to use that against me........when there is nothing to use. I have had lies mad up on me, just because they didn't like my class. I've been ready to fight a few, because it ain't nothing like an ole fast 17 year old girl with a smart mouth. Is there? But once you start studying them and using different ways to address problems, you can solve some of your problems. Though it will never be perfect.
Yh but how though. Im scared of losing control of my class because she is always testing me. Like what should i do. Continue to write her up?
 

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Yh but how though. Im scared of losing control of my class because she is always testing me. Like what should i do. Continue to write her up?

Some kids you have to tolerate. Her mother is abusive. She obviously is a bully. So she produced a child who is a bully. Writing her up doesn't work, because they just send her back to your class. So you'll have to take another way with her. Some of her behavior you'll have to ignore because if she is running you ragged she already has control of the class. Try being kind to her. I know she makes you mad, but have a talk with her. Take her to the side. Say, look here...........I like you. I really do, but you can't come in here and do x, y and z. I have job. I'm just trying to do my job. You fill in the blanks. Study her. See what makes her tick and run with. But you'll never win going toe to toe with a child like that because all she does is fight. She fights with her mom, people in her community, other teachers and you, all day long.

Next, always remember don't disturb your class or the flow of the day trying to keep control of your class. Your goal is not to tame everyone into perfection but to get through the period as smoothly as possible. I use to go toe to toe with a child that would come to class everyday with a hat on, and sleep in class. Once we got into a argument over a phone. I put him out, he came right back, that started a classroom backlash. It is a long story, but I should have taken him to the side and told him about the hat and phone. Sometimes I'll ignore certain things, if it means the overall class stays on task and behaved. Certain things I'll address later.
 

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Another thing you might think is crazy. I don't know what your beliefs are but pray over it. You can't go into these schools without Jesus Christ. Pray for wisdom and to walk in love. Pray to treat each kid with compassion just like God treats you with compassion. It is hard. I cursed at the librarian today through the phone. Well not really. I was talking to my team leader about an issue. I said WTF. Administration decided to make us all of do something at the last minute. They wouldn't run my information for the students off because I couldn't turn it at the exact time they wanted it. I don't think they like me. I don't think certain people on my job like me. So it triggers me. I have been fussing, cursing and "venting" all day. I learned a lesson today. I wasted too much of my time complaining. I really do. If I had been on top of things, my day would have been better. Sometimes it is the little things like managing your time, that can create a foothold for evil.

These people make it so hard to walk in love. But the Devil is real. He can even work through children. If the Devil sees that something bothers you, he is going to use those children over and over again to antagonize you. We war not with flesh and blood but with principalities that are unseen.

Make up your mind that child is not your enemy. She is her own enemy. Establish your square and stand on it. Don't let a child tip your crown.
 
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Last story, I know that I am spamming you. But you are doing a great work and better than you think.

Management Lesson. I had a girl in Zoom who came to the meeting everyday in her spaghettis strap shirt, wrapped in a blanket, silk bonnet laying in her bed. Now the good thing about Zoom is if a kid gets out of line, you just mute them and turn that camera off. I've done that with her. But one day I had to take the mute off for the whole class. So I ask a question about the lesson. Everyone joins in. But she yell out "Hell I don't know." Thing is her wifi is so bad, you can barely understand what she says. The only way I knew she made a poor comments was I saw her laughing in the screen. BUT instead of stopping the Zoom and addressing her, I looked around at my class and noticed they were all on task completing an assignment and no one was cracking a smile. That means no one heard her but me. So I just kept going. That is what I mean by don't let trying to get a few in line, mess up the overall flow of the class. No one batted an eye at her. So it wasn't necessary for me to address her. Eventually she left the Zoom. That is sad. I am going to call her folks. But if those bad kids see that you aren't sweating them, sometimes they leave. Hey they can't take over, they can't make you mad. So dismiss themselves. Now don't let them run over you. But the little things ignore. Pick and choose your battles because I can tell you may not have very strong support in your school.
 

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