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I’m so disconnected from reality and my emotions. My aunt died 2 days ago and I haven’t cried once

fckthewrld4

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Im genuinely scaring myself. I don’t know why i act so robotic and awkward in situations like this. I feel bad especially because she was bed ridden just looking around clueless not being able to talk or move or anything and didn’t recognize her own son in the room because she diagnosed with dementia as well before her passing.

I know people have different ways of dealing with grief and sometimes it doesn’t hit them right away but I seriously think somethings wrong with me if I feel nothing emotionally triggering about this situation. I’ve been through a lot especially when I was younger so I could easily detach myself from reality some what easy but I’d still be emotional when I was by myself. I’m probably going to delete this later bc it makes me look bad but idk.
 

Surreal

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I'm sorry to hear that OP. I was the same actually when both my grandmothers died. It didn't really hit me, I didn't really cry until I went to their funerals days later. That's when it all sunk in that I'd never see them again. Allow yourself time to grieve in your own way and time.
 

jackieup

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When my grandmother died, I didn't cry until the funeral and it wasn't because she died, It was when I saw my grandfather crying.
I felt more for his loss. Because they didn't really get a long that great and to see him grieving over her was something.

Don't pressure yourself to act the way you think you should.
Emotions don't really work the way we think they do.
 

aquariancharm

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Trauma can make you less connected to your emotions, especially if it happened when you were young. It's an unconscious coping mechanism, albeit not the healthiest one.

Don't beat yourself up, the fact that you're aware shows that you're not too far gone. Take your time, the emotions will show themselves when they're ready to. Make space for them. If you're really worried, maybe reach out to a therapist. But above all, please be kind to yourself.
 

Perfected

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You sound like me, OP. I remember how death use to shake me so as a little girl, now I'm just numb to it. My mother's always down my throat about how emotionless I am. I honestly don't know when I became this way, but I wouldn't know where to start in regards on how to "fix" it.
 

Blueberry77

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The emotions will hit you when they do, and you really have no control over it. Are you generally feeling cut off from your emotions, or just in this instance? Have you been through any kind of counseling to work through the past trauma that you have experienced?
 

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