incogneato
No face, no case.
I had just turned 18 , 2 months prior(my birthday is in December). At the time I took an interest in painting and was being homeschooled for most of my high school life. So I didn't leave the house much, I didn't have any friends and fell into depression cause we had to move back to my hometown to care for my grandma. After a couple of months my mom put me into this art class a couple of miles away from home. The lady was a professional painter named Svetlana. Most of the class consisted of kids.. literally from 5 to maybe 12 years old.
On the second week of class, I realize my art teacher has an off way toward me but I was so used to it that I just didn't care and stuck to my work. Then she had gotten the idea to ask me , "you're beautiful. You're beautiful because you're young, yes? "
And I didn't understand what she meant at the time. I was still a kid, child minded cause I was actually mentally stunted since I barely interacted with people my age. I had never been called beautiful by a stranger before nonetheless people mention anything about my face at the time, so I was thrown off. After the question she turns around immediately to ask the class if I was pretty. Most of the girls refused to answer and one little boy(10), abrasive f_cker goes, "no! she's ugly!". Some of the girls go, " hey!" but said it while laughing. Once that happened, she turned around and just left.
I never went back to her ever again.
Till this day I don't understand why she did it. I just met her. During my teenage years, it was if I were a magnet for people to try and come after me about my appearance one way or the other. If I wasn't this, then I was that. Something was always wrong with me and people had a bad habit with not keeping their thoughts to themselves. People just always wanted me to know how they felt about my appearance. I knew that if I left my home that I'd be subjected to meeting people who didn't mind putting me in traumatic positions.
Then another time I had an allergic reaction. I ate a piece of fish thinking it didn't bother me anymore since some food allergies went away. My mom protested that she wasn't going to take me to the emergency room if it had gotten any worse and told me to call my sister in case it did because "I should've known better" and to go find some Benadryl around the house. And for some reason, my grandma says matter of factly,
" your lips look better that way. They look fuller", and my mom confirms it, "yea it do". Meanwhile I'm struggling to breathe.
I now think back at the blows I really took from people making comments about my looks.
On the second week of class, I realize my art teacher has an off way toward me but I was so used to it that I just didn't care and stuck to my work. Then she had gotten the idea to ask me , "you're beautiful. You're beautiful because you're young, yes? "
And I didn't understand what she meant at the time. I was still a kid, child minded cause I was actually mentally stunted since I barely interacted with people my age. I had never been called beautiful by a stranger before nonetheless people mention anything about my face at the time, so I was thrown off. After the question she turns around immediately to ask the class if I was pretty. Most of the girls refused to answer and one little boy(10), abrasive f_cker goes, "no! she's ugly!". Some of the girls go, " hey!" but said it while laughing. Once that happened, she turned around and just left.
I never went back to her ever again.
Till this day I don't understand why she did it. I just met her. During my teenage years, it was if I were a magnet for people to try and come after me about my appearance one way or the other. If I wasn't this, then I was that. Something was always wrong with me and people had a bad habit with not keeping their thoughts to themselves. People just always wanted me to know how they felt about my appearance. I knew that if I left my home that I'd be subjected to meeting people who didn't mind putting me in traumatic positions.
Then another time I had an allergic reaction. I ate a piece of fish thinking it didn't bother me anymore since some food allergies went away. My mom protested that she wasn't going to take me to the emergency room if it had gotten any worse and told me to call my sister in case it did because "I should've known better" and to go find some Benadryl around the house. And for some reason, my grandma says matter of factly,
" your lips look better that way. They look fuller", and my mom confirms it, "yea it do". Meanwhile I'm struggling to breathe.
I now think back at the blows I really took from people making comments about my looks.