Quantcast

I Regret Having Children| Breaking The Taboo

AreolaGrande

Your favorite nip slip
Joined
Sep 27, 2016
Messages
6,919
Reaction score
Reactions
91,445 1,412 381
126,731
Alleybux
647,358
Good for her for addressing this.

I hear a lot of things like this in my professional life.

This is why I say, think about why you want to have children, it's not a hobby or something you do just because you think that's what supposed to happen or is the natural next step.

Having a child is the greatest commitment and sacrifice. Once you become a parent, you never stop being one. It is a life choice and some people go into it too cavalierly.
 

HiValueMan

Team Owner
Joined
May 10, 2013
Messages
7,749
Reaction score
Reactions
42,032 2,145 1,147
44,950
Alleybux
423,500
Everybody wants to be Married w/Children until they become Peg & Al. But too many have children to satisfy their own ego. It's like, "Children? Yeah. I have 2 of those."

A lot of times, women want children just to experience the part of womanhood that brings life into existence. But then, don't want to be bothered after that.

Men tend to be reckless xesually, then feel they should be absolved of responsibility when things go awry. I know way too many dudes (Black, White, candy-striped) that have >2 sets of kids they barely interact with.

If people really did some deep introspection, examined their childhood, and observed what their parents went thru, it would give them pause. I know it did for me, and I have great parents, and had a great childhood overall.
 

SupaSupaNova

Safelyup is a racist mexican troolll
Joined
May 4, 2014
Messages
6,387
Reaction score
Reactions
62,910 1,822 925
67,582
Alleybux
4,927
I think this is a good thing, we need to have more people who are open about this, because it will lead to a generation who will actually think twice before having children, which will save another generation of babies from a lifetime of pain, neglect, suffering,abuse,etc...

I know I want kids, but I also know before I bring and innocent being into this world I am going to have to do a lot of therapy to deal with my wounds!
 

spoiledwater

Proud Elder Millennial
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
44,165
Reaction score
Reactions
539,564 16,179 6,462
595,769
Alleybux
1,283,384
Good video. I've known I didn't want children from a young age. When girls were "selecting" their baby's names, I never had one to share. I just didn't see that life for myself.

Even now, I'm not sure I'm ready to even adopt more pets. I really value my sleep, and freedom. Sometimes life is hard enough, without extra burdens.

 

Metaphysique

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 19, 2017
Messages
6,432
Reaction score
Reactions
41,065 696 303
45,050
Alleybux
46,765
I've known parents who regret having children. They're allowed to have those feelings. It can be difficult to accept and admit to something that so many people felt pressured into and have been regarded as cultural "tradition" for millennia. For some, it comes significantly later in life after children are in the picture. They really start to wrestle with the hard truth and reality, or maybe they agreed to have children (or more) for a spouse. I've seen this a lot, too.

Now, those I know who regret having children still strive to be great parents. They have accepted this life and worked through their feelings (counseling), whereas others, they take their resentment out on their children, and it's tragic and heartbreaking. We especially like to assume women are inherently warm, nurturing, loving, affectionate, and possess those maternal instincts. This is not every mother, and it shouldn't be taboo to say every woman should not be a mother.

My middle daughter has absolutely no interest in having children. I know a lot of people don't buy it when it comes from the mouths of preteens and teens because "you could change your mind." But I have friends that knew they didn't want children when they were in grade school, and definitely knew they didn't want any when they hit high school. And now they're in their 30s and 40s and married 15+ years and child-free. I believe my middle daughter when she says she doesn't want kids, and we believe it's for the best, honestly. She'll be a silly, quirky aunt, and I think she'll be great in that role, but not as a mother. We see her career (animals and nature) and passions bringing her the fulfillment she needs. We 100% support her choice if she continues to feel that way when she's much older.

According to my husband, my SIL said she didn't want kids when she was a kid/teen, and though their mom thought she'd change her mind, she'll be 38 in a few months and hasn't crossed that road yet. She still makes comments about her animals being all that she needs and just not into the kid thing. She's super fun and cool aunt.

Given the state of society and climate change, I don't blame people for realizing they don't want to have kids. It's just that it took getting to where we're at now for people to admit this to themselves and others. So if people still get flack for being CFBC, I can only imagine it was difficult for many to come to that realization in the past before the public awareness of child-free lifestyles. And considering getting married and having children are often associated with religious principles, some people feel that pressure from their family and society at large, despite having apprehension. So, I get it.
 

AreolaGrande

Your favorite nip slip
Joined
Sep 27, 2016
Messages
6,919
Reaction score
Reactions
91,445 1,412 381
126,731
Alleybux
647,358
I believe you can never truly prepare yourself to be a parent.


I agree 100% and I also believe you can never truly be 100% prepared for anything. Not parenting, not marriage, nothing. However, what you can do is 1) assess why you are doing what you're doing, 2) understand the goal in doing what you're doing, and 3) know yourself as much as possible before making a decision.

Marriage and/or children do not change you, it simply brings out who you are at the core, and most people are not introspective enough and honest enough to see who they really are and accept it. Especially if it goes against social and cultural norms and expectations.
 

spoiledwater

Proud Elder Millennial
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
44,165
Reaction score
Reactions
539,564 16,179 6,462
595,769
Alleybux
1,283,384
I agree 100% and I also believe you can never truly be 100% prepared for anything. Not parenting, not marriage, nothing. However, what you can do is 1) assess why you are doing what you're doing, 2) understand the goal in doing what you're doing, and 3) know yourself as much as possible before making a decision.

Marriage and/or children do not change you, it simply brings out who you are at the core, and most people are not introspective enough and honest enough to see who they really are and accept it. Especially if it goes against social and cultural norms and expectations.

Yes it does.
 

Kim Kardashian

Superstar Status
Joined
Mar 5, 2007
Messages
13,724
Reaction score
Reactions
119,077 3,211 1,701
131,895
Alleybux
502,386
Some people really need a therapist to talk with. Imagine her kids hearing or seeing this video one day. No child wants to hear how their parents regretted them.
 

O.o

Black Women Disproportionately @ Risk For Homicide
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
59,470
Reaction score
Reactions
401,375 11,864 9,185
442,629
Alleybux
11,900
I've known parents who regret having children. They're allowed to have those feelings. It can be difficult to accept and admit to something that so many people felt pressured into and have been regarded as cultural "tradition" for millennia. For some, it comes significantly later in life after children are in the picture. They really start to wrestle with the hard truth and reality, or maybe they agreed to have children (or more) for a spouse. I've seen this a lot, too.

Now, those I know who regret having children still strive to be great parents. They have accepted this life and worked through their feelings (counseling), whereas others, they take their resentment out on their children, and it's tragic and heartbreaking. We especially like to assume women are inherently warm, nurturing, loving, affectionate, and possess those maternal instincts. This is not every mother, and it shouldn't be taboo to say every woman should not be a mother.

My middle daughter has absolutely no interest in having children. I know a lot of people don't buy it when it comes from the mouths of preteens and teens because "you could change your mind." But I have friends that knew they didn't want children when they were in grade school, and definitely knew they didn't want any when they hit high school. And now they're in their 30s and 40s and married 15+ years and child-free. I believe my middle daughter when she says she doesn't want kids, and we believe it's for the best, honestly. She'll be a silly, quirky aunt, and I think she'll be great in that role, but not as a mother. We see her career (animals and nature) and passions bringing her the fulfillment she needs. We 100% support her choice if she continues to feel that way when she's much older.

According to my husband, my SIL said she didn't want kids when she was a kid/teen, and though their mom thought she'd change her mind, she'll be 38 in a few months and hasn't crossed that road yet. She still makes comments about her animals being all that she needs and just not into the kid thing. She's super fun and cool aunt.

Given the state of society and climate change, I don't blame people for realizing they don't want to have kids. It's just that it took getting to where we're at now for people to admit this to themselves and others. So if people still get flack for being CFBC, I can only imagine it was difficult for many to come to that realization in the past before the public awareness of child-free lifestyles. And considering getting married and having children are often associated with religious principles, some people feel that pressure from their family and society at large, despite having apprehension. So, I get it.
Most people don’t want children.

Most people do not sit down with their spouses and plan their families.

Most people have children because they failed to practice safe xes or do not have access to birth comtrol.

So the vast majority of people who have children absolutely did not want them.

Proof:
All the children born to abuse

All the children whose parents have multiple sets of children across different households

All the children born to struggle

All the children whose parents cannot afford to send them to private lessons for sports or music

All the children whose parents cannot afford private schools

Black people, especially, cannot and do not love their children and then leave them alone with white people in government schools to be psychologically tortured and harassed all day for thirteen fcking years

I know parents with double digit numbers of children who REFUSED to put their children in public (or charter or any government funded schools) no matter what. Their children are all well educated and well behaved and the adult children are all college educated.

If a parent can drop a child off to an abusive destructive environment like a public school, that’s proof enough. They care more about having a break, than they do their children.

Imagine how many children would be murdered if not for the free government babysitting known as public schools?

Apart from that, too many people are far too unhealthy to have children: obesity, mental illness, genetic disorders, drug/alcohol addiction, etc.

Most children are not planned or wanted and the chaos and dysfunction that their parents allow in their lives reflects this.

It’s a sad reality that we have to face.

Most people are parents because of a raw nut- nothing more, nothing less.

They’re obviously not going to admit it, but if you look at what they subject their children to, it’s pretty obvious.
 

vsantiaga

Team Owner
Joined
Mar 4, 2012
Messages
5,837
Reaction score
Reactions
18,802 121 47
19,684
Alleybux
3,025
She probably will regret doing this video if her kids see it one day.

I understand no one can fully prepare to be a parent but you do have some control over your life and how you want it to go. I just wish people would be more self aware, so then maybe you'd have less situations like this. They don't think, they just fµck and have kids. Yeah I know biologically we're supposed to, but I am so glad we have free will too!

Take a good, long hard look at yourself and your partner and say should we really be having kids? My mom used to joke with me like this guy you're having xes with, could you see this person being a decent parent?

Take inventory of what type of person you and see what you can do to fix some things. If you have a mental illness, I'm not saying you absolutely shouldn't have kids, (depending on what kind) but you should address that first. If your partner has a mental illness, do ya'll really want to have a baby who may have one of your mental illnesses passed down? If you do decide to have kid, be as stable as possible. If you suffered from severe trauma or abuse, do you think you have any business having kids right now if you haven't addressed your trauma? If you have a hard time taking care of yourself do you think you can care for a baby who absolutely cannot take care of themselves. I'm selfish af, I barely want to get up in the morning to take my ass to work. I am not trying to up all hours of the night feeding a baby, running errands, etc etc. That may seem superficial compared to trauma, but at least I know how I am.

If you know you're the type of dude that will be nothing more than a weekend dad or not be around at all, maybe think about using condoms regularly. Why make things harder than they need to be. Why create stupid baby mama/daddy drama. The kids are suffering while you adults play games. And while kids are very resilient, they also do not have the time to wait on us to get sh!t together.

Kids are not toys!! They are precious little human beings who deserve all of our care, love, attention, money (lol) etc. I take parenting very seriously and that's why I don't have any!
 

Katia000

General Manager
Joined
May 28, 2018
Messages
2,952
Reaction score
Reactions
21,403 512 48
29,912
Alleybux
84,139
As a single woman with no kids I have had several men and women tell me they regret getting married and having kids. A few off the top of my head are a mom saying to me she’d rather focus on her career, a man telling me he basically had kids to shut his wife up, and another woman saying she puts herself first no matter what and regretted having her daughter... all that made me question quite a bit lol
BUT at least there’s no recorded evidence on the internet where their kids can find it like this chick.
 

Watermelon21

I'm all about fresh fruits in 2021
Joined
Jun 21, 2012
Messages
4,711
Reaction score
Reactions
37,226 1,435 277
45,284
Alleybux
462,730
I've always told my friends and family that the "Parent life" ain't for me.

They are always trying to convince me otherwise. but NOPE I've never felt the NEED to procreate.

This World scares the sh!t of me. i wouldn't feel comfortable birthing and raising Black kids in Amerikkka. So i'll just settle for being an cool Aunt.
 

Helwa

Team Owner
Joined
Jul 24, 2016
Messages
5,793
Reaction score
Reactions
51,681 1,837 1,457
56,837
Alleybux
476,337
People have a right to feel whatever they feel. If you regret having kids, then it's your right to feel that and not be ashamed.

However, I think some things shouldn't be publicly stated. This is one of them.

These people's children are going to come across these videos and articles one day and feel like a burden ( of they don't already do).
 

UmmRuqayyah

Team Owner
Joined
Feb 4, 2018
Messages
5,316
Reaction score
Reactions
51,098 15,669 121
59,585
Alleybux
446,400
Most people don’t want children.

Most people do not sit down with their spouses and plan their families.

Most people have children because they failed to practice safe xes or do not have access to birth comtrol.

So the vast majority of people who have children absolutely did not want them.

Proof:
All the children born to abuse

All the children whose parents have multiple sets of children across different households

All the children born to struggle

All the children whose parents cannot afford to send them to private lessons for sports or music

All the children whose parents cannot afford private schools

Black people, especially, cannot and do not love their children and then leave them alone with white people in government schools to be psychologically tortured and harassed all day for thirteen fcking years

I know parents with double digit numbers of children who REFUSED to put their children in public (or charter or any government funded schools) no matter what. Their children are all well educated and well behaved and the adult children are all college educated.

If a parent can drop a child off to an abusive destructive environment like a public school, that’s proof enough. They care more about having a break, than they do their children.

Imagine how many children would be murdered if not for the free government babysitting known as public schools?

Apart from that, too many people are far too unhealthy to have children: obesity, mental illness, genetic disorders, drug/alcohol addiction, etc.

Most children are not planned or wanted and the chaos and dysfunction that their parents allow in their lives reflects this.

It’s a sad reality that we have to face.

Most people are parents because of a raw nut- nothing more, nothing less.

They’re obviously not going to admit it, but if you look at what they subject their children to, it’s pretty obvious.


Wish I could like this a thousand times . I agree with everything!!!!
 

ladyluxe

#theyjusthave2die
Joined
Mar 10, 2014
Messages
13,241
Reaction score
Reactions
69,321 2,711 2,385
72,542
Alleybux
351,810
This reminds me I have a friend who is childfree and says she doesnt want one but has also said she would have one if her husband wanted one. Sigh. She also works full time and does all of the domestic duties at home :disdain
 
Joined
Sep 30, 2013
Messages
747
Reaction score
Reactions
1,103 166 11
1,167
Alleybux
10,918
On God, I don't understand the allure of people having children.

I am so afraid of having buyers remorse when I have children.
 

GalaxyQueens

"Woman is an Adult Human Female!" Cheverly's Ghost
Joined
Jul 27, 2015
Messages
2,635
Reaction score
Reactions
24,792 236 33
30,162
Alleybux
316,309
giphy.gif


Umm, did anyone actually watch or listen to the video?! This lady doesn’t have children...
 

Ola87rocks

General Manager
Joined
May 15, 2016
Messages
3,224
Reaction score
Reactions
15,972 142 63
17,138
Alleybux
16,683
She probably will regret doing this video if her kids see it one day.

I understand no one can fully prepare to be a parent but you do have some control over your life and how you want it to go. I just wish people would be more self aware, so then maybe you'd have less situations like this. They don't think, they just fµck and have kids. Yeah I know biologically we're supposed to, but I am so glad we have free will too!

Take a good, long hard look at yourself and your partner and say should we really be having kids? My mom used to joke with me like this guy you're having xes with, could you see this person being a decent parent?

Take inventory of what type of person you and see what you can do to fix some things. If you have a mental illness, I'm not saying you absolutely shouldn't have kids, (depending on what kind) but you should address that first. If your partner has a mental illness, do ya'll really want to have a baby who may have one of your mental illnesses passed down? If you do decide to have kid, be as stable as possible. If you suffered from severe trauma or abuse, do you think you have any business having kids right now if you haven't addressed your trauma? If you have a hard time taking care of yourself do you think you can care for a baby who absolutely cannot take care of themselves. I'm selfish af, I barely want to get up in the morning to take my ass to work. I am not trying to up all hours of the night feeding a baby, running errands, etc etc. That may seem superficial compared to trauma, but at least I know how I am.

If you know you're the type of dude that will be nothing more than a weekend dad or not be around at all, maybe think about using condoms regularly. Why make things harder than they need to be. Why create stupid baby mama/daddy drama. The kids are suffering while you adults play games. And while kids are very resilient, they also do not have the time to wait on us to get sh!t together.

Kids are not toys!! They are precious little human beings who deserve all of our care, love, attention, money (lol) etc. I take parenting very seriously and that's why I don't have any!

I've always told my friends and family that the "Parent life" ain't for me.

They are always trying to convince me otherwise. but NOPE I've never felt the NEED to procreate.

This World scares the sh!t of me. i wouldn't feel comfortable birthing and raising Black kids in Amerikkka. So i'll just settle for being an cool Aunt.

Ditto. I think some kids are so sweet, adorable and just blessings all around. However, I don't want them and unless I was to seriously change my mind in a honest to myself and the Lord type of honest way, then frankly I won't.

I have seen way too many examples of old classmates becoming teen mums, people having kids in horrible situations and abuse. I also have my own serious issues from childhood. My mum was also a teen mum, not with me but with my eldest brother. I'm also the youngest of nine. Apart from two friends of mine, none of them are with their baby fathers. And out of those two, only one is married (her dude seems to get it and always does his part with the baby when he is not working). The other one is a fantastic divorcee who found her amazing dude after all the nonsense she suffered previously.

I know everyone's story is different but all of this has imprinted on me as to how I feel kids need the best and as little dysfunction as possible. Many things aren't peoples' faults but I also believe that one should try to control what they can, so that an innocent being is coming into a decent situation.

Plus I've always valued my freedom and ability to do what I want. I've worked so hard for what I do have (own place, freelancing gigs, a separate well paying job even though it drives me mad lol). I also need to get better with other areas in my life. I can't even fathom bringing a child into that, unless I knew I wanted to and would try my best to do right by a child.

I had one of my very very close friends who has two kids tell me she doesn't regret her kids...but she would have done things differently for various reasons.
One person who I am no longer friends with...straight up said in a text sent to a few of us in a horrible time that she often regrets having her daughter.

My sister who is currently pregnant also kid shamed me about the fact that I am clearly leaning towards not having kids then kids, even though she previously broken down to me how her situation is not the best right now. Things are much better now for her but that shaming incident was awful. She apologised but still makes stupid coments here and there. I'm just happy being an aunty lol.

All of this...along with me previously working for a fostering charity, makes me pretty staunch with my stance that people should really think about making sure they can do right by their kids and to honestly try hard to not screw them up. Or not have them if they deep down are not sure of their own conviction behind such a decision. Being honest like that is very hard and pressure can make people cave...but children deserve a lot more. Love, stability, someone who wants them...it's a lot.
 
Last edited:

LENA JAMES

General Manager
Joined
Sep 10, 2012
Messages
2,958
Reaction score
Reactions
16,590 687 462
16,737
Alleybux
108,182
As a single woman with no kids I have had several men and women tell me they regret getting married and having kids. A few off the top of my head are a mom saying to me she’d rather focus on her career, a man telling me he basically had kids to shut his wife up, and another woman saying she puts herself first no matter what and regretted having her daughter... all that made me question quite a bit lol
BUT at least there’s no recorded evidence on the internet where their kids can find it like this chick.


You know it's crazy over the past year I've had people who are parents tell me this out of nowhere.

And I was a bit taken aback by their transparency especially with black folks cuz we always on that "my child is a blessing".

I really feel like the universe is providing me with answers to questions I've been asking.
 

Dragon2024

General Manager
Joined
Sep 3, 2019
Messages
4,258
Reaction score
Reactions
28,032 893 261
31,502
Alleybux
86,789
If people really did some deep introspection, examined their childhood, and observed what their parents went thru, it would give them pause. I know it did for me, and I have great parents, and had a great childhood overall.

Most people think they want kids, but when they get here it's another story.
I never understood how ppl think it's so easy, money wise l, kids will eat up your money. And can we clock how most parents want kids for taxes each year?


and what about the father's who just leave their kids and don't give a fµck. It's weird to me.

When I did deep introspection of my childhood, I was surrounded by sick people both male and female, and even if there were those who didn’t harm me, they were deeply unconscious. Having a kid keeps women from liberating herself which she should focus on but I don’t think a lot of women even know they are living under patriarchy lol
 

O.o

Black Women Disproportionately @ Risk For Homicide
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
59,470
Reaction score
Reactions
401,375 11,864 9,185
442,629
Alleybux
11,900
Most people don’t want children.

Most people do not sit down with their spouses and plan their families.

Most people have children because they failed to practice safe xes or do not have access to birth comtrol.

So the vast majority of people who have children absolutely did not want them.

Proof:
All the children born to abuse

All the children whose parents have multiple sets of children across different households

All the children born to struggle

All the children whose parents cannot afford to send them to private lessons for sports or music

All the children whose parents cannot afford private schools

Black people, especially, cannot and do not love their children and then leave them alone with white people in government schools to be psychologically tortured and harassed all day for thirteen fcking years

I know parents with double digit numbers of children who REFUSED to put their children in public (or charter or any government funded schools) no matter what. Their children are all well educated and well behaved and the adult children are all college educated.

If a parent can drop a child off to an abusive destructive environment like a public school, that’s proof enough. They care more about having a break, than they do their children.

Imagine how many children would be murdered if not for the free government babysitting known as public schools?

Apart from that, too many people are far too unhealthy to have children: obesity, mental illness, genetic disorders, drug/alcohol addiction, etc.

Most children are not planned or wanted and the chaos and dysfunction that their parents allow in their lives reflects this.

It’s a sad reality that we have to face.

Most people are parents because of a raw nut- nothing more, nothing less.

They’re obviously not going to admit it, but if you look at what they subject their children to, it’s pretty obvious.
Damn. The quarantine has proven this correct. The increase in Child Abuse and Domestic Violence is horrific, :(

And even the best of the social media parents: unamused: are bitching and moaning about having to have their children home all day.
 

Starrynite

General Manager
Joined
Apr 1, 2016
Messages
1,572
Reaction score
Reactions
7,267 471 371
7,456
Alleybux
116,108
A lot of times, women want children just to experience the part of womanhood that brings life into existence. But then, don't want to be bothered after that.
I want to start a thread asking this question. Basically, has anyone had children just to have the experience of giving birth? I don’t want to judge though. I’m just curious.
 

jonesy22

General Manager
Joined
Dec 10, 2011
Messages
4,401
Reaction score
Reactions
40,121 1,262 1,038
41,216
Alleybux
761,898
So many anti parenting posts in the parenting forum.

This is a weird space. I want to look for a forum for black parents who actually enjoy parenting and their child.

I havent been able to find that much here.
 

O.o

Black Women Disproportionately @ Risk For Homicide
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
59,470
Reaction score
Reactions
401,375 11,864 9,185
442,629
Alleybux
11,900
So many anti parenting posts in the parenting forum.

This is a weird space. I want to look for a forum for black parents who actually enjoy parenting and their child.

I havent been able to find that much here.
90% of these posters aren't Black
 

AngelicaPickles

Team Owner
Joined
Sep 15, 2016
Messages
46,284
Reaction score
Reactions
257,941 18,338 2,704
265,084
Alleybux
610,311
I've always told my friends and family that the "Parent life" ain't for me.

They are always trying to convince me otherwise. but NOPE I've never felt the NEED to procreate.

This World scares the sh!t of me. i wouldn't feel comfortable birthing and raising Black kids in Amerikkka. So i'll just settle for being an cool Aunt.
I feel similar. I can't especially as a Black mother. Always have to worry about your Black kids. Teaching them how to interact with the cops and racists. Being seem as a threat at 4 or 14. Black parents always worry about their kids. This world is fµcked up. I don't think I have that in me. Especially if something happened to my kid all hell will break loose.
 

NoxAura

Team Owner
Time Out
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Messages
10,524
Reaction score
Reactions
107,823 3,295 703
125,925
Alleybux
174,501
Good video. I've known I didn't want children from a young age. When girls were "selecting" their baby's names, I never had one to share. I just didn't see that life for myself.

Even now, I'm not sure I'm ready to even adopt more pets. I really value my sleep, and freedom. Sometimes life is hard enough, without extra burdens.



I always laugh when people say "you'll be alone" about women not being married or having children.

Husbands abandon wives all the time. Children throw their parents in the nursing home and call it a day all the time.

I've known parents who regret having children. They're allowed to have those feelings. It can be difficult to accept and admit to something that so many people felt pressured into and have been regarded as cultural "tradition" for millennia. For some, it comes significantly later in life after children are in the picture. They really start to wrestle with the hard truth and reality, or maybe they agreed to have children (or more) for a spouse. I've seen this a lot, too.

Now, those I know who regret having children still strive to be great parents. They have accepted this life and worked through their feelings (counseling), whereas others, they take their resentment out on their children, and it's tragic and heartbreaking. We especially like to assume women are inherently warm, nurturing, loving, affectionate, and possess those maternal instincts. This is not every mother, and it shouldn't be taboo to say every woman should not be a mother.

My middle daughter has absolutely no interest in having children. I know a lot of people don't buy it when it comes from the mouths of preteens and teens because "you could change your mind." But I have friends that knew they didn't want children when they were in grade school, and definitely knew they didn't want any when they hit high school. And now they're in their 30s and 40s and married 15+ years and child-free. I believe my middle daughter when she says she doesn't want kids, and we believe it's for the best, honestly. She'll be a silly, quirky aunt, and I think she'll be great in that role, but not as a mother. We see her career (animals and nature) and passions bringing her the fulfillment she needs. We 100% support her choice if she continues to feel that way when she's much older.

According to my husband, my SIL said she didn't want kids when she was a kid/teen, and though their mom thought she'd change her mind, she'll be 38 in a few months and hasn't crossed that road yet. She still makes comments about her animals being all that she needs and just not into the kid thing. She's super fun and cool aunt.

Given the state of society and climate change, I don't blame people for realizing they don't want to have kids. It's just that it took getting to where we're at now for people to admit this to themselves and others. So if people still get flack for being CFBC, I can only imagine it was difficult for many to come to that realization in the past before the public awareness of child-free lifestyles. And considering getting married and having children are often associated with religious principles, some people feel that pressure from their family and society at large, despite having apprehension. So, I get it.

I've been no kids since high school. I'm in my early thirties and when I was younger, I assumed my opinion would change, but nope, it has become STRONGER!

I also don't want marriage. :)
 

Chriza28

Time-out again
Benched
Time Out
Joined
Dec 18, 2012
Messages
26,203
Solutions
11
Reaction score
Reactions
108,407 7,514 8,020
109,758
Alleybux
19,500
I never knew the shocking extent of how much people didn't care about children until LSA told me.

LSA is OUTRAGED about transgenders being a danger to their women and children in public bathrooms when in fact, the greatest danger to children is their own home environment, where they are neglected and abused mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically and xesually.

When I have persistently raised my objections to the bullying of children in threads, I was groaned, reported and put on time out.

It is beyond telling that a woman who engages in online mocking and bullying of other people's children is projecting their contempt for their own children.

And these children will be the next generation of mothers who continue the pattern.

They are also raising boys who will become the next generation of men who abuse women and children.
 
Last edited:

Durga87

General Manager
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
1,824
Reaction score
Reactions
3,957 602 256
4,564
Alleybux
377,943
Good for her for addressing this.

I hear a lot of things like this in my professional life.

This is why I say, think about why you want to have children, it's not a hobby or something you do just because you think that's what supposed to happen or is the natural next step.

Having a child is the greatest commitment and sacrifice. Once you become a parent, you never stop being one. It is a life choice and some people go into it too cavalierly.
I had abortions and I ended up having a baby girl. I do not regret any of my abortions but I do regret having a baby
 

Jodie Landon

Team Owner
Joined
May 16, 2013
Messages
14,762
Reaction score
Reactions
46,578 1,476 494
47,675
Alleybux
992,939
I also wonder how many women regretting having more than one child? I am on the fence about if I want more than one but think society pressures parents that 'one isn't enough'.
 

Durga87

General Manager
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
1,824
Reaction score
Reactions
3,957 602 256
4,564
Alleybux
377,943
As a single woman with no kids I have had several men and women tell me they regret getting married and having kids. A few off the top of my head are a mom saying to me she’d rather focus on her career, a man telling me he basically had kids to shut his wife up, and another woman saying she puts herself first no matter what and regretted having her daughter... all that made me question quite a bit lol
BUT at least there’s no recorded evidence on the internet where their kids can find it like this chick.
I regret having a kid. this is the worse decision I ever made. I rather focus on making money and buying nice clothes
 

Falafal

General Manager
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
3,853
Reaction score
Reactions
40,566 1,008 416
41,742
Alleybux
451,212
Most people don’t want children.

Most people do not sit down with their spouses and plan their families.

Most people have children because they failed to practice safe xes or do not have access to birth comtrol.

So the vast majority of people who have children absolutely did not want them.

Proof:
All the children born to abuse

All the children whose parents have multiple sets of children across different households

All the children born to struggle

All the children whose parents cannot afford to send them to private lessons for sports or music

All the children whose parents cannot afford private schools

Black people, especially, cannot and do not love their children and then leave them alone with white people in government schools to be psychologically tortured and harassed all day for thirteen fcking years

I know parents with double digit numbers of children who REFUSED to put their children in public (or charter or any government funded schools) no matter what. Their children are all well educated and well behaved and the adult children are all college educated.

If a parent can drop a child off to an abusive destructive environment like a public school, that’s proof enough. They care more about having a break, than they do their children.

Imagine how many children would be murdered if not for the free government babysitting known as public schools?

Apart from that, too many people are far too unhealthy to have children: obesity, mental illness, genetic disorders, drug/alcohol addiction, etc.

Most children are not planned or wanted and the chaos and dysfunction that their parents allow in their lives reflects this.

It’s a sad reality that we have to face.

Most people are parents because of a raw nut- nothing more, nothing less.

They’re obviously not going to admit it, but if you look at what they subject their children to, it’s pretty obvious.
Not all private schools are good for black kids socially. Just a reminder, because someone may damage their kids even more by sending them to private school
 

Similar Threads

News Alley

The Lounge

General Alley

Top Bottom