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I snapped on a male family member?

Selina Kyle II

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You did nothing wrong, fµck him.

My sister tried to pull that bµllsh!t when we would get in fights. Tried to say that I would die alone and a virgin. Little did she know I had already been with someone. She has issues with herself and tries to make others feel bad about their self in order to feel better about herself. She no longer speaks to me because I finally told her about herself and I'm cool with that.
 

dollface89

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Wow op! This was me yesterday..finally told my older brother he was toxic. I also packed up the gifts he's given me and gave them back. He has a way of buying me gifts whenever I stopped speaking to him and my mom would forced me to say thank you.. and well.. my emotional needs are never met in that cycle. So just to make it clear that I need my space to protect my energy, my selfesteem and my confidence..I gave them all back. It's not worth my peace of mind. All it does is bandaid his bad behavior.

Any way op! I hear you and that is a form of emotional abuse that you never deserved!!! I'm willing to be your accountability partner on your selfcare jouney ..because it will take lots of self love and selfcare to erase those cruel words from playing in your head!!

I understand completely!! I also sympathize that you ever had to experience that.
 
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YOU ARE WORTHY AND BEAUTIFUL, OP! God only specializes in making masterpieces and you’re one of them. Kudos to you for defending yourself.


























How much do you charge for your services? I got a few relatives I’d like you to curse out.
 

BonesNRoses

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You did nothing wrong! I'm a Scorpio so if you're constantly coming for me eventually I'll empty a full clip on you. Don't let degenerate males chip away at your self esteem. I'm sorry you had to experience all of that growing up.
 

Tink Tink

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I'm confused...you said you were the only girl but you had a sister?
 

Jay Johnson

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He deserved every bit of your reaction because it's clear he didn't give a damn about your feelings. People like that only exist to break others (mainly vulnerable women such as yourself) down in order to boost their own self-esteem. It has nothing to do with you not being beautiful or worthy enough. Those that are beautiful and worthy tend to be targeted for simply existing.

You're great. You will heal. You will become a stronger person from all of this. Keep on pushing.
 

redleon

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That bummy cousin of yours texted you those mean-ass texts thinking he could still bully you and that you're the same as you were 10 years ago. I can only imagine he looked like this:

1618343794497.png


I'm proud of you OP for snapping off on his ass cuz he deserved it. Now block his b!tch ass!
 

juulsee

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After the abuse, why make contact? Unless there was a death in the family, that you needed to know about; why talk?

However, I'm glad you voiced your hurt and anger / frustration. Now go on and live a life on your own terms. Don't internalize the abuse and speak with a therapist if necessary.
 

MeOhMeOhMy

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Okay, so all my life my male family members preyed on my self esteem lol. They told me that nobody would ever love me and they made me feel really bad about myself. This is how the males are in my family. I grew up with them because I was the only girl and they were all I had during that time. They thought that I'll never have a boyfriend and did everything in their power to hurt me and pick on me. They accused me of being gay for no absolute reason. They talked about me in every way you can possibly think of. They picked on me... severely. My sister did the same thing, cause she wanted their acceptance and love so bad. So she felt like if she aided them on the bullying, they would accept her more so.

And I got away from them 10 years ago... and I just got in contact with a male cousin who told me that he could never imagine me being in a relationship with anyone and that he could never imagine anyone loving me. And he went on to talk about himself and how he got all these b!tches and this and that. And I snapped and told him that he was weird just like the rest of the family, and I blew up and just told him that I couldn't imagine him being in a relationship with nobody and I told him that he act like I'm unattractive and can't get a *****. Cause that's what he was saying in so many words... wouldn't you have taken offense to this??? I feel like I may have snapped more than I should have. But it's a trigger knowing what they already been saying about me all my life.

I question am I beautiful... am I worthy... and I worry that if I was, then my family wouldn't have treated me in such way. Cause if I was pretty and worthy...then why would they do me like that???

I'm at a point where I am trying to heal from it at 28 years old. Cause I haven't been able to hold a relationship because of this.
OP, my heart goes out to you.

There is so much I could tell you, but I would prefer to do so privately. Feel free to contact me via DM.

I will say this much right now.

You CAN move past these people whose are united in their goal in life which is to keep their knee on your neck for the rest of your life and theirs.

If you can accept this fact, then you can make changes and not feel the need to reach out to them for ANY reason.

My question to you is why did you reach out to your tormentor? This is not me blaming you, but an effort to get you to understand quickly what your triggers are for reaching out to these people.
 

MeOhMeOhMy

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I would advise you to ghost these people RIGHT NOW! permanently.

Were your parents cosigning or silent on the matter? If that is the case, I would advise you to stay away from all of them, no matter who dies.

But I know that may be difficult for you to do.

Any pain that you express regarding their behavior toward you will simply fuel their cruelty and give them life.
I would advise you to appear unbothered. I would even laugh at them be prepared for them escalate to try to hurt you more.

Do you really want to go through this torture over and over for the rest of your life, though?

People who are this cruel have boundless and endless energy to inflict pain. They are legion, multiplying the cruelty exponentially. They will never stop.

You will never win them over. EVER.

Or do you want to learn how to embrace YOUR BEAUTY and learn how to love yourself and to embrace the love that your future mate is waiting, just WAITING to give you if you can learn to accept it.

I too (in addition to at least one other responder), am willing to assist you on this journey.
 

incogneato

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You didn't snap you stood up for yourself!! I bet you never did before huh just took all their insults and cried or had a weak comback of "no I'm not, it's not true" while believing their out downs.

Don't feel bad for letting him have it. Someone had to let him know what he's saying it's alright with you!

Even if you had a man they'd still tear you down. I have a male family member similar to yours. Whenever I was talking about how I liked one guy he was quick to point out flaws. If I complained about some old geezer being into me or an unattractive guy he told me I should be happy with whatever I get and that I need to get knocked off my high horse and humbled because I'm a b!+€#. At the time I was in my late teens and didn't understand that level of put down. Before that he told me how I was a waste of a Black woman because I have no ass. He'd tease me and call me boney and say I had mosquito bites or the body of a teen boy so that's why no man wants me. And the ones that do must be a pedophile because I don't look like a woman. Then he'd go on and tease me about non Black men and call me a sell out for liking them. All the while he dates out but claims it's different.

When I started wearing full face makeup for events (birthdays, professional photos, etc) he said I had too much on and looked like a ******. I never asked for his opinion yet felt self conscious. I was trying a new look to cover my hyperpigmentation because I never knew make up could do all that. For years I thought a lot of women had blemish free faces naturally. I tried treatments but they didn't completely get rid of my blemishes. I used to have clear skin in my early teens so I just wanted it back and with make up I had hope I'd get there one day. I never depended on makeup to feel pretty but it helped me feel confident. I guess that ticked off my male family member.


I still don't know what his problem is. He'll make back handed comments about my weight with "it's a good thing you're not thick or you'd have to deal with girls trying to fight you and we all know they'd beat your ass because you don't know how to fight". I've felt self conscious about my skinny body for decades despite attracting some men who actually are my type both Black and non Black. The issue is most were about half a decade older so I do wonder if they actually are attracted or have a thing for young looking women. Men my age have been interested too but they're not as open to it. I wonder sometimes am I unattractive and they care too much about peers or is it because young men care too much about rejection in general.



It doesn't help that I've been teased at school for being skinny but hearing it on the daily is very damaging. I keep my distance but I try not to clap back at them because with this individual it adds more fuel to the fire. They know it bothers me and will do it more because of that. There's no reasoning because they don't respect or care about me in that regard. They love to boast about their conquests as well. They reguarly call me a lesbian too and insult me too with the "that's why you don't have a man".


I almost forgot my family member is like that. It's kind of disturbing and now I'm triggered. But it helps me to remember to keep my mouth shut to whole family about my dating life. I used to be open but no one knows how to keep a secret so I can't talk about it anymore. I'm cool with most of them knowing but they wanna tell everyone the good news or drama when it's bad so called seeking advice on my behalf. Stay away OP. I know you thought your cousin changed but now you see how he still views you. Don't bother trying to show off your man and be like "yeah I got one, now what!" If he sees yall out and about that's different but you don't have to prove your cousin wrong. I used to be like that because I thought it would stop all the bullying but it didn't. My family member went so far as to grilling my potential man and intimidating him with violence if he treats me wrong.
 
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OP, my heart goes out to you.

There is so much I could tell you, but I would prefer to do so privately. Feel free to contact me via DM.

I will say this much right now.

You CAN move past these people whose are united in their goal in life which is to keep their knee on your neck for the rest of your life and theirs.

If you can accept this fact, then you can make changes and not feel the need to reach out to them for ANY reason.

My question to you is why did you reach out to your tormentor? This is not me blaming you, but an effort to get you to understand quickly what your triggers are for reaching out to these people.
PM ME. I would love to hear it. Thank you
 

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