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If you could change one thing about the Black lesbian community...

loner4sure

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I wish every major city had a black lesbian space. Rather that be a book club, black lesbian owned busineeses, etc..

That way you can meet other people from the community. I think it's difficult to find others apart of the community.
 

Games

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I would change the heteronormative views about feminine and dominant women. There are really Black lesbians that still subscribe to thinking one woman has to be the "fem" and the other has to be the "stud". I am around mature Black lesbians, so we don't think like that, but I think the younger lesbians still subscribe to that thinking.

I agree with the font that said we need more lesbian spaces. It is indeed hard to connect with other lesbians besides using dating sites or meetup.

I would also change the stereotypical stud look and behavior. When I think of a stud, I think of a hood boi with a bunch of tattoos, uneducated, underemployed, and just losing (Young MA type). I think there should more visibility for more mature, educated, career oriented masculine women who dress well in fitted suits, and actually care about their appearance vs. women who wouldn't look nice feminine so they're just there looking a mess masculine. I haven't seen too many of the mature, respectable looking studs, but I know they are out there. I wish their image was the norm. Masculine women are not ugly nor are they losers, and I don't think it's fair that the stud label is attached to low income walking stereotypes.

Lastly, I would like the Black lesbian community to no longer be bullied into entertaining bisexual women. The term biphobic is thrown around waaay too much. Bisexual women should date other bisexuals, and leave the lesbian community alone, or simply date the lower end lesbians with low standards that don't want long term commitment. Respectfully.
 

MERVEILLEUSE

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More open, free and non-sexualized public spaces that are EXCLUSIVELY for us of all generations. Lesbian history is being lost to “queers” and capitalistic heterosexual newspeak, and it’s really effecting the younger generation. We also need therapy and support for all, racism, sexism, and homophobia are soul destroyers. I really want more of us to take our health seriously. I’m tired of seeing pictures of black lesbians where everyone is not just chunky, not just fat, but morbidly obese. It’s not about looks, it’s about survival.

I want us to address our internalized misogyny. Too many lesbians honestly don’t even like women as people. How in the fµck can you distrust women, think they’re all the same, believe yourself better than other women because you’re “different” and then say you want to love a woman? xesual objectification of women is universal to all in our society so wanting to fµck a woman has nothing to do with having the capacity to love and create meaningful relationships with them.

That’s more than one thing but whatever, you’re gonna get my essay!
 

snappinturtle

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I would change the heteronormative views about feminine and dominant women. There are really Black lesbians that still subscribe to thinking one woman has to be the "fem" and the other has to be the "stud". I am around mature Black lesbians, so we don't think like that, but I think the younger lesbians still subscribe to that thinking.

I agree with the font that said we need more lesbian spaces. It is indeed hard to connect with other lesbians besides using dating sites or meetup.

I would also change the stereotypical stud look and behavior. When I think of a stud, I think of a hood boi with a bunch of tattoos, uneducated, underemployed, and just losing (Young MA type). I think there should more visibility for more mature, educated, career oriented masculine women who dress well in fitted suits, and actually care about their appearance vs. women who wouldn't look nice feminine so they're just there looking a mess masculine. I haven't seen too many of the mature, respectable looking studs, but I know they are out there. I wish their image was the norm. Masculine women are not ugly nor are they losers, and I don't think it's fair that the stud label is attached to low income walking stereotypes.

Lastly, I would like the Black lesbian community to no longer be bullied into entertaining bisexual women. The term biphobic is thrown around waaay too much. Bisexual women should date other bisexuals, and leave the lesbian community alone, or simply date the lower end lesbians with low standards that don't want long term commitment. Respectfully.
when's the last time a bisexual woman approached you? just curious bc you make it seem like we're just throwing ourselves at yall
 

Surreal

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when's the last time a bisexual woman approached you? just curious bc you make it seem like we're just throwing ourselves at yall

It's that "they're into men and women, and we'll never be able to measure up to a man," way of thinking. It's not our faults they think that way, it's theirs. You can't fight some people's insecurities.
 

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when's the last time a bisexual woman approached you? just curious bc you make it seem like we're just throwing ourselves at yall

Sighs, it always turns into a fight/hurt feelings whenever a lesbian says she's not interested in bisexuals. It never fails.

Respectfully, you should be answering OP's question. Then again, you're bi, so...... you wanna show yourself out or....

Getting back to OP's topic, I'd like to add/reiterate one more thing. I would like to change bisexual women's entitlement they feel they have towards lesbians. Lesbians can't friendzone bisexuals without them feeling a way. It's not fair at all to lesbians. We don't owe bisexual women anything. I wish they would understand that, and stop bullying and pressuring lesbians. It's not nice.

I would also like to add that I agree with the free therapy for lesbians. We need it. It is not easy navigating life not being xesually attracted to men. When you can't hold your girlfriend's hand in public, and have to come out over and over and over again, etc.
 

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It's that "they're into men and women, and we'll never be able to measure up to a man," way of thinking. It's not our faults they think that way, it's theirs. You can't fight some people's insecurities.

What you just did there is called gaslighting. Insecurities? Aht aht, we are going to unpack this right now.

Bisexual women, you cannot keep doing this. You cannot keep bullying lesbians into dating you. You must respect people's preferences. It is not a slight against you when a lesbian says she does not want to date bisexual women.

I understand that rejection may not feel nice, but you don't get to vilify a person who doesn't want to date you. That is not fair. Are you a bad person because you don't find a certain kind of man attractive?

Seriously y'all, please stop attacking lesbians. We really don't deserve to get hemmed up like this in our own thread.
 

JuneyJune

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I wish we could leave behind the thinking and traits of the toxic hetero-black community. Also that it's okay to not date bi women, no one has to date anyone at the end of the day. It makes perfect sense for a woman who is only into women to want a partner who thinks and feels the same way. I wish we had places to meet up and befriend other black lesbians, even virtually it's hard to find other black lesbians with positive mindsets.
 

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What you just did there is called gaslighting. Insecurities? Aht aht, we are going to unpack this right now.

Bisexual women, you cannot keep doing this. You cannot keep bullying lesbians into dating you. You must respect people's preferences. It is not a slight against you when a lesbian says she does not want to date bisexual women.

I understand that rejection may not feel nice, but you don't get to vilify a person who doesn't want to date you. That is not fair. Are you a bad person because you don't find a certain kind of man attractive?

Seriously y'all, please stop attacking lesbians. We really don't deserve to get hemmed up like this in our own thread.
I can see from a mile away that they're intimidated by men and take that out on bisexual women. But that's a y'all problem. Not an our problem. So y'all gotta deal with that amongst yourselves. Even straight women when it comes to bisexual men are intimidated I believe, and I think this goes way into having deep and maybe subconscious insecurities about one's own xes and gender. Y'all don't think y'all can compete with the other gender/xes for mates, so you'd rather be with someone who would never give you that competition. This isn't an attack. It's blatant statement. The font above said bisexual women are for lesbians with low standards. Now that is an attack which not only attacks bisexual women, but also other lesbians and who they choose to date. But you ignored that with a quickness. So miss me with the rest.

Sighs, it always turns into a fight/hurt feelings whenever a lesbian says she's not interested in bisexuals. It never fails.

Respectfully, you should be answering OP's question. Then again, you're bi, so...... you wanna show yourself out or....

Getting back to OP's topic, I'd like to add/reiterate one more thing. I would like to change bisexual women's entitlement they feel they have towards lesbians. Lesbians can't friendzone bisexuals without them feeling a way. It's not fair at all to lesbians. We don't owe bisexual women anything. I wish they would understand that, and stop bullying and pressuring lesbians. It's not nice.

I would also like to add that I agree with the free therapy for lesbians. We need it. It is not easy navigating life not being xesually attracted to men. When you can't hold your girlfriend's hand in public, and have to come out over and over and over again, etc.

Yeah, no. This:

"Lastly, I would like the Black lesbian community to no longer be bullied into entertaining bisexual women. The term biphobic is thrown around waaay too much. Bisexual women should date other bisexuals, and leave the lesbian community alone, or simply date the lower end lesbians with low standards that don't want long term commitment. Respectfully."

Seems a lot more like, "My fellow lesbians, stop dating bisexual women. If you do, you have low standards, you're low tier, and don't like commitment. Bye."

How is that not pressuring other lesbians? How is that not attacking other lesbians? How is that not attacking bisexual women? She's basically pressuring other lesbians about who they should date and why. So why wasn't this called out by you who is all for, "don't attack people for their preferences." ??? Seems very one sided here. Just saying.

It's very disingenuous of yourself to come in with the, "stop attacking lesbians, you bisexuals!" When we are the ones who just called out a lesbian who just attacked other lesbians and bisexual women in one post. But okay. All she had to do was say, "I don't date bisexual women," and I doubt anybody would care about who she dates. However, with her wording, she made it less about her own individual choices and made it about what others should be doing just cause she does it. Granted this thread is about what you would change in the community, but she was insulting nonetheless. I'm not personally offended, but I made a statement on why she likely has these feelings.
 
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snappinturtle

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What you just did there is called gaslighting. Insecurities? Aht aht, we are going to unpack this right now.

Bisexual women, you cannot keep doing this. You cannot keep bullying lesbians into dating you. You must respect people's preferences. It is not a slight against you when a lesbian says she does not want to date bisexual women.

I understand that rejection may not feel nice, but you don't get to vilify a person who doesn't want to date you. That is not fair. Are you a bad person because you don't find a certain kind of man attractive?

Seriously y'all, please stop attacking lesbians. We really don't deserve to get hemmed up like this in our own thread.
I asked a question because you really made it seem like bisexuals are starting whole movements to date lesbians. I've never met a lesbian who straight up avoids bi women so its kind of a new concept to me.
 

JuneyJune

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What you just did there is called gaslighting. Insecurities? Aht aht, we are going to unpack this right now.

Bisexual women, you cannot keep doing this. You cannot keep bullying lesbians into dating you. You must respect people's preferences. It is not a slight against you when a lesbian says she does not want to date bisexual women.

I understand that rejection may not feel nice, but you don't get to vilify a person who doesn't want to date you. That is not fair. Are you a bad person because you don't find a certain kind of man attractive?

Seriously y'all, please stop attacking lesbians. We really don't deserve to get hemmed up like this in our own thread.
It reminds me of when black people ask white people to chill and stay in their lanes but white people still come barging right in. They don't get it.
 

Ayebihitsme

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I asked a question because you really made it seem like bisexuals are starting whole movements to date lesbians. I've never met a lesbian who straight up avoids bi women so its kind of a new concept to me.
This is new to me too, but it’s probably just because I’m new to the space. I’ve spoken to a lot of other bisexual women who have gotten the same feedback.
 

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It's that "they're into men and women, and we'll never be able to measure up to a man," way of thinking. It's not our faults they think that way, it's theirs. You can't fight some people's insecurities.
Or maybe people don’t want to put their mouth where someone’s dirty has been. Let’s be honest many dudes aren’t that hygienic. Not to mention all those damn diseases male & female xes comes with. Oral herpes ain’t cute
 

JuneyJune

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If anyone wants to be friends though please hit me up. Especially if you are in a long-term relationship! My wife and I need other lesbian friends :) Peace and love, being married to a woman is the best thing I ever experienced!
 

Ayebihitsme

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It's that "they're into men and women, and we'll never be able to measure up to a man," way of thinking. It's not our faults they think that way, it's theirs. You can't fight some people's insecurities.

I’ve read a lot of commentary about it, and the most common answer was being turned off of by the xesual relation with dick?? Idk how to explain it. This has been such an interesting topic that I didn’t realize would exist in this type of community. Like, for late blooming lesbians, how are past dick encounters forgiven?
 

JuneyJune

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Or maybe people don’t want to put their mouth where someone’s dirty has been. Let’s be honest many dudes aren’t that hygienic. Not to mention all those damn diseases male & female xes comes with. Oral herpes ain’t cute
It's true, males are low-key disease carriers. They are usually asymptomatic.
 

Games

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I can see from a mile away that they're intimidated by men and take that out on bisexual women. But that's a y'all problem. Not an our problem. So y'all gotta deal with that amongst yourselves. Even straight women when it comes to bisexual men are intimidated I believe, and I think this goes way into having deep and maybe subconscious insecurities about one's own xes and gender. Y'all don't think y'all can compete with the other gender/xes for mates, so you'd rather be with someone who would never give you that competition. This isn't an attack. It's blatant statement. The font above said bisexual women are for lesbians with low standards. Now that is an attack which not only attacks bisexual women, but also other lesbians and who they choose to date. But you ignored that with a quickness. So miss me with the rest.
That is you assuming. How can you say why a lesbian doesn't want to date a bisexual woman? That's for lesbians to say, not you. As a lesbian, I can say for myself and other lesbians who know who they are, we aren't intimidated by men in the least. That has nothing to do with why we don't want to date bisexual women.

It actually boils down to xesual safety for me and others. Bisexual women bring diseases into the lesbian community. Men and women pass each other STD's like candy, and lesbians don't want that. 9 times out of 10, if a lesbian gets a disease, it's from a bisexual woman. That is a fact. It's a xesual risk to date y'all. Period. Respectfully.
I asked a question because you really made it seem like bisexuals are starting whole movements to date lesbians. I've never met a lesbian who straight up avoids bi women so its kind of a new concept to me.
Nah, it's more about bisexual's entitlement to lesbian women. We are not putting up with it anymore. Bisexual women can be very aggressive and mean to lesbians and try to push us up against the wall to date them. Not cool.
It reminds me of when black people ask white people to chill and stay in their lanes but white people still come barging right in. They don't get it.
Right. They're half straight, and that hetero part of them which gives them privilege jumps out of them at times. Tryna dominate lesbian spaces. It's not nice.
 

JuneyJune

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That is you assuming. How can you say why a lesbian doesn't want to date a bisexual woman? That's for lesbians to say, not you. As a lesbian, I can say for myself and other lesbians who know who they are, we aren't intimidated by men in the least. That has nothing to do with why we don't want to date bisexual women.

It actually boils down to xesual safety for me and others. Bisexual women bring diseases into the lesbian community. Men and women pass each other STD's like candy, and lesbians don't want that. 9 times out of 10, if a lesbian gets a disease, it's from a bisexual woman. That is a fact. It's a xesual risk to date y'all. Period. Respectfully.

Nah, it's more about bisexual's entitlement to lesbian women. We are not putting up with it anymore. Bisexual women can be very aggressive and mean to lesbians and try to push us up against the wall to date them. Not cool.

Right. They're half straight, and that hetero part of them which gives them privilege jumps out of them at times. Tryna dominate lesbian spaces. It's not nice.
I agree with everything you said. It's the privilege that makes them act this way. People get mad when they aren't someone's preference. If someone doesn't want to date you just move on. Why make a big scene about it. I don't get it.
 

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That is you assuming. How can you say why a lesbian doesn't want to date a bisexual woman? That's for lesbians to say, not you. As a lesbian, I can say for myself and other lesbians who know who they are, we aren't intimidated by men in the least. That has nothing to do with why we don't want to date bisexual women.

It actually boils down to xesual safety for me and others. Bisexual women bring diseases into the lesbian community. Men and women pass each other STD's like candy, and lesbians don't want that. 9 times out of 10, if a lesbian gets a disease, it's from a bisexual woman. That is a fact. It's a xesual risk to date y'all. Period. Respectfully.

Nah, it's more about bisexual's entitlement to lesbian women. We are not putting up with it anymore. Bisexual women can be very aggressive and mean to lesbians and try to push us up against the wall to date them. Not cool.

Right. They're half straight, and that hetero part of them which gives them privilege jumps out of them at times. Tryna dominate lesbian spaces. It's not nice.

STDs? Half straight? (sexuality is on a spectrum btw. It's not being half this or half that. That's just not how this works. I've never even seen anybody use such a term before. Where you even get that from? lol). Privilege? Yeah, this is all definitely a you problem as seen by your mentality. You're taking your issues and own insecurities about your xes/gender and sexuality it seems out on bisexual women. But like I said above, you can't fight some people's insecurities. I definitely don't want to waste time trying to. Good luck.
 
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I agree with everything you said. It's the privilege that makes them act this way. People get mad when they aren't someone's preference. If someone doesn't want to date you just move on. Why make a big scene about it. I don't get it.
Right. They act like WM. Look at @Surreal calling me insecure because I don't want to date bisexual women. Smh @ that. She really doesn't think she's out of pocket for that. The nerve! LOL! Gurl! Gag!
 

JuneyJune

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Right. They act like WM. Look at @Surreal calling me insecure because I don't want to date bisexual women. Smh @ that. She really doesn't think she's out of pocket for that. The nerve! LOL! Gurl! Gag!
Exactly, like she could just see her way out but NO she stays to throw more insults. No one is insecure about men lol. She is delusional. Bi girls should just date other bi girls.
 

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Exactly, like she could just see her way out but NO she stays to throw more insults. No one is insecure about men lol. She is delusional. Bi girls should just date other bi girls.
Yup. It's the bisexual women feeling comfortable in this lesbian thread for me.
 

Surreal

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Right. They act like WM. Look at @Surreal calling me insecure because I don't want to date bisexual women. Smh @ that. She really doesn't think she's out of pocket for that. The nerve! LOL! Gurl! Gag!

Um, you quoted me first. I assume the shoe fits cause you hollered like a hit dog. Thank you.
 

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I can see from a mile away that they're intimidated by men and take that out on bisexual women. But that's a y'all problem. Not an our problem. So y'all gotta deal with that amongst yourselves. Even straight women when it comes to bisexual men are intimidated I believe, and I think this goes way into having deep and maybe subconscious insecurities about one's own xes and gender. Y'all don't think y'all can compete with the other gender/xes for mates, so you'd rather be with someone who would never give you that competition. This isn't an attack. It's blatant statement. The font above said bisexual women are for lesbians with low standards. Now that is an attack which not only attacks bisexual women, but also other lesbians and who they choose to date. But you ignored that with a quickness. So miss me with the rest.



Yeah, no. This:

"Lastly, I would like the Black lesbian community to no longer be bullied into entertaining bisexual women. The term biphobic is thrown around waaay too much. Bisexual women should date other bisexuals, and leave the lesbian community alone, or simply date the lower end lesbians with low standards that don't want long term commitment. Respectfully."

Seems a lot more like, "My fellow lesbians, stop dating bisexual women. If you do, you have low standards, you're low tier, and don't like commitment. Bye."

How is that not pressuring other lesbians? How is that not attacking other lesbians? How is that not attacking bisexual women? She's basically pressuring other lesbians about who they should date and why. So why wasn't this called out by you who is all for, "don't attack people for their preferences." ??? Seems very one sided here. Just saying.

It's very disingenuous of yourself to come in with the, "stop attacking lesbians, you bisexuals!" When we are the ones who just called out a lesbian who just attacked other lesbians and bisexual women in one post. But okay. All she had to do was say, "I don't date bisexual women," and I doubt anybody would care about who she dates. However, with her wording, she made it less about her own individual choices and made it about what others should be doing just cause she does it. Granted this thread is about what you would change in the community, but she was insulting nonetheless. I'm not personally offended, but I made a statement on why she likely has these feelings.

Then why do you want to date lesbians? If it's only the insecure ones that reject yall why do you care? lol Wouldnt that be good for you?
 

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Or maybe people don’t want to put their mouth where someone’s dirty has been. Let’s be honest many dudes aren’t that hygienic. Not to mention all those damn diseases male & female xes comes with. Oral herpes ain’t cute

I was gonna say this but didn't know how to. You wrapped it up perfectly.
 

FruitCake

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That is you assuming. How can you say why a lesbian doesn't want to date a bisexual woman? That's for lesbians to say, not you. As a lesbian, I can say for myself and other lesbians who know who they are, we aren't intimidated by men in the least. That has nothing to do with why we don't want to date bisexual women.

It actually boils down to xesual safety for me and others. Bisexual women bring diseases into the lesbian community. Men and women pass each other STD's like candy, and lesbians don't want that. 9 times out of 10, if a lesbian gets a disease, it's from a bisexual woman. That is a fact. It's a xesual risk to date y'all. Period. Respectfully.

Nah, it's more about bisexual's entitlement to lesbian women. We are not putting up with it anymore. Bisexual women can be very aggressive and mean to lesbians and try to push us up against the wall to date them. Not cool.

Right. They're half straight, and that hetero part of them which gives them privilege jumps out of them at times. Tryna dominate lesbian spaces. It's not nice.

Peep the homophobia and male-identified talking points with the "lesbians are just intimidated of men/scared of dick and need to get over it" stereotype.
 

Surreal

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Then why do you want to date lesbians? If it's only the insecure ones that reject yall why do you care? lol Wouldnt that be good for you?
Did I say I want to date lesbians? I don't have hang ups about other people's xesual orientations. I didn't even reply to that font cause I don't care enough about who she dates. I quoted another bisexual font and was talking to her. So y'all can move along. The ones who were obvious hit dogs hollering got in their feelings. They are the ones that quoted me.
 

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Did I say I want to date lesbians? I don't have hang ups about other people's xesual orientations. I didn't even reply to that font cause I don't care enough about who she dates. I quoted another bisexual font and was talking to her. So y'all can move along. The ones who were obvious hit dogs hollering got in their feelings. They are the ones that quoted me.
THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE??? EL OH EL!!! :skull:
 

Surreal

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THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE??? EL OH EL!!! :skull:

Cause the forum is free and I can click on any thread. It's in the LGBTQ forum. You can make private threads in private groups if you want to police what thread somebody can click on. Thank you. And before y'all come rushing in with bµllsh!t, once again, y'all quoted me first. Wasn't checking for you nor who you dated personally, but you felt the need to ask me about who I dated and why. So mind your business.
 
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Surreal

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Peep the homophobia and male-identified talking points with the "lesbians are just intimidated of men/scared of dick and need to get over it" stereotype.

I'm the homophobic one? I didn't say a bad thing about lesbians, but bisexual women have been told we're bullies, have diseases, are for people with low standards, are entitled, aggressive, and we were attacked in this thread by the 2nd post. You couldn't even go three posts without bringing up bisexual women. So, ask that font, why did they feel the need to attack bisexual women? They also attacked lesbian women too for dating bisexual women. But y'all ignored that.
 

FruitCake

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I'm the homophobic one? I didn't say a bad thing about lesbians, but bisexual women have been told we're bullies, have diseases, are for people with low standards, are entitled, aggressive, and we were attacked in this thread by the 2nd post. You couldn't even go three posts without bringing up bisexual women. So, ask that font, why did they feel the need to attack bisexual women? They also attacked lesbian women too for dating bisexual women. But y'all ignored that.
A thread about lesbians that you willingly walked into when you supposedly aren't attracted to lesbians. You weren't attacked. You made a comment people responded with their reasoning and you continued to engage when there is no need to. No one has a gun to your head lol You're a weird one. You're not gonna change anyone's mind so idk what your point here is lol
 

Surreal

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A thread about lesbians that you willingly walked into when you supposedly aren't attracted to lesbians. You weren't attacked. You made a comment people responded with their reasoning and you continued to engage when there is no need to. No one has a gun to your head lol You're a weird one. You're not gonna change anyone's mind so idk what your point here is lol

Did I say that I didn't? I haven't told you sh!t cause it's none of your business. You quoted me, I didn't quote you. So take your own advice and stop engaging with me when there is no need. You're not going to change my mind and nobody put a gun to your head. You also can't make me leave the thread. So save that hot air for somebody that cares. What is your point here again? You haven't even answered OP's question. You just want to fight and fuss and argue with me, further derailing the thread cause what I said to another font got you in your damn feelings. All you fonts, I didn't even quote, but felt the need to quote me and attack me. I didn't ask them for sh!t, I didn't tell them to do sh!t, and they weren't even on my radar. Get help. I'm over here trying to watch a show, you still quoting me. Bye and stay mad about it.


LMAO, I didn't even realize @Games was the same font that made the original comment to begin with. That's how little I paid attention. xD So her ass was the one that started attacking bisexual women then turned around and played the victim while further attacking and insulting bisexual women. Acting like I'm the one out here attacking her. Girl, I didn't even pay that close attention to your font name. I'm just now actually looking at your username, so I don't know why you're taking it so personally. If the shoe fits wear it, though.
 
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Sarthee

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letting go of the stud/femme dynamic and to stop adopting heterosexual ideas about relationships
to connect more with older black lesbians
community spaces that aren't centered around xes/hook-ups
 

MERVEILLEUSE

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That font that I don't see because they're always on some pro-male woke fuckshit constantly has something to say about women who don't want anything to do with certain others. It's an obsession.

As far as bisexual women, I don't dislike them and have no issue with an authentically, honestly, and openly bisexual woman, but at this point in history every pickme straight girl with daddy issues wants to trib her bestie for funsies and it's progressive for straight girls to rely on lesbians to provide them emotional and material support while still letting males dog them out. No thank you.
 

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