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I'm Probably Going to Regret This...

EVIL STEPMUM

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Aaw sis! This thread really is a great reference for when you need to remind yourself of your talent. The comments are well-deserved and true :rose

I'll also echo the font who mentioned submitting to literary magazines. The good ones are reputable and would never steal work since it is very easy, these days with digital footprints, to prove ownership.
Awwww bless you. Thank you so much.
And I will definitely look into it now.
 

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Really liked the tone of your writing! But some of the words seem a little "extra" - like they wouldn't be used to describe an everyday situation. I know it's a draft but look at your sentence structure and punctuation because that determines the flow of your story. Keep it up!
 

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I know this is an old thread but This is amazing op. I really would buy this. I agree with all the warnings though about not publishing (some of) your work online a private group would be better. But overall I think you have a good writing style.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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I know this is an old thread but This is amazing op. I really would buy this. I agree with all the warnings though about not publishing (some of) your work online a private group would be better. But overall I think you have a good writing style.
Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
And yeah, I won't be sharing anymore. Thanks!
 

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It's really inspring to see how much talent there is on LSA. I agree with a font above - I like your font but it is refreshing to see your talents. I hope you get round to completing your novel.

As much as I enjoyed reading this excerpt, I also agree with the fonts who advise against sharing online. There are too many people with no morals or ethics out here.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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It's really inspring to see how much talent there is on LSA. I agree with a font above - I like your font but it is refreshing to see your talents. I hope you get round to completing your novel.

As much as I enjoyed reading this excerpt, I also agree with the fonts who advise against sharing online. There are too many people with no morals or ethics out here.
Thank you!!! And you're right; I won't share anymore.
 

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Good writing I was intrigued. My only suggestion is watch for comma splices (which are the bane of my existence) run on sentences, and maybe break up some of the paragraphs.

Other than that bravo OP! If it were a book I would most definitely read.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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Good writing I was intrigued. My only suggestion is watch for comma splices (which are the bane of my existence) run on sentences, and maybe break up some of the paragraphs.

Other than that bravo OP! If it were a book I would most definitely read.
Thank you for the feedback and your kind words!!!
 

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I know it’s already been said several times throughout this thread, but I enjoy your writing style. How is your book coming along?
 

MrsSamCooke

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Yeah I was kind of wary about posting this for the very reasons you expressed, but like I said, there is so much more to this story. An entire plot, the names of their children, the personalities of all the characters and etc. This isn't even the best of I've written so far. If someone was going to steal this, well...they'd better do a good job of replicating my writing style and come up with a good plot to accommodate an entire novel lol. With that said, I won't be sharing anymore. My work is very precious to me and the worst thing that could happen is for someone to take something I worked very hard on and claim it as their own. That's why I'm reluctant about blogging. I like to write essays about the films that I've watched and general life things, but what if someone was to steal those? This happens. Someone told me that this shouldn't stop be from sharing what I have to offer to an audience. I don't know. Thank you for the advice nonetheless. I truly do appreciate it. I'm also sorry to hear that someone stole your poem. I wish that some people would rely on their own creative prowess - if they have any, instead of having to rely on plagiarising the intellectual property of others.



You'd think that due to the fact I have a B.A. in English, I'd know these things!!! Even to this day, I struggle with utilising the proper characters, grammar and sometimes even spelling!

I'm actually extremely thankful for your honesty and for the fact that you took the time to point out the errors. I didn't know about the different groups of commas AT ALL. I didn't learn this. I'm going to screen shot this post for reference, as I continue writing. I will take everything you said in stride. With regards to the 'irritably alert' and the 'revelled wryly', I was reckoned that my writing could sometimes feel a little pretentious. I'm trying to find a balance between being able to put things a little plainly but not come across too basic at the same time. That's why I've started writing on with pen and paper because with the limit on pages, I can't afford to be long winded and 'lardy dar', so I'm forced to cut back and try to keep things simple. And then like you said, when I'm writing it up on the computer, I can make the necessary changes. Less dashes and bloody commas too!

With all of that said, I'm really happy that you enjoyed my writing, and to say that you could feel and visualise what was going on in the scene, is a huge, huge compliment and confidence booster to me!
I hope you're still writing yourself btw. And if you're published, I would love to support.
OP, I've only just come back to this thread and seen your lovely response! You are welcome! I'm glad you didn't seem to think I came off as too critical of the technical side of your work. I love helping people improve upon their writing - including myself! :wink7

I'm glad this thread is still being bumped up after having been created just prior to spring. It more than deserves the attention.

I am still writing. I have been at it since I was 7 years-old and am continuing on into what is now my middle age. I imagine I will be writing until I die since I sometimes joke that I must've been born with a pen and paper in-hand. I've even written through a total of 51 journals at this point. I've not penned a poem since 2006 as my focus has been on prose for the past decade now. I'm currently (and finally) about to submit my first completed novel to literary agents while hammering away on another one as well as some short stories. Now and then, I place in some short fiction writing contests and am about to enter another one this fall. Meanwhile, I've got another novel (part of what is to be a trilogy) which I set aside due to a sizable block I have in regards to it. There is also the fact that my writing style has changed and evolved a great deal since I began writing it. This is thanks to meditation (which I recommend to many creative people to boost both the quality and quantity of their work). Therefore, I need to first rewrite all I've done of it so far which is half a novel's worth. I do not mind this since I like editing and polishing work. My favorite part of editing is restructuring sentences; it excites me for some strange reason. :laughing:

Thanks for the offer of support and I share the same sentiment with you. So, enough about me as I would also love an update as to how you're getting on with your own book. You're quite talented and have the golden gift of transporting a reader into a story. :loveI hope - and believe - you will go far.
 
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EVIL STEPMUM

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I know it’s already been said several times throughout this thread, but I enjoy your writing style. How is your book coming along?
Thank you! And it's going really well. I'm enjoying how it's progressing so far. A long way from finished though.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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OP, I've only just come back to this thread and seen your lovely response! You are welcome! I'm glad you didn't seem to think I came off as too critical of the technical side of your work. I love helping people improve upon their writing - including myself! :wink7

I'm glad this thread is still being bumped up after having been created just prior to spring. It more than deserves the attention.

I am still writing. I have been at it since I was 7 years-old and am continuing on into what is now my middle age. I imagine I will be writing until I die since I sometimes joke that I must've been born with a pen and paper in-hand. I've even written through a total of 51 journals at this point. I've not penned a poem since 2006 as my focus has been on prose for the past decade now. I'm currently (and finally) about to submit my first completed novel to literary agents while hammering away on another one as well as some short stories. Now and then, I place in some short fiction writing contests and am about to enter another one this fall. Meanwhile, I've got another novel (part of what is to be a trilogy) which I set aside due to a sizable block I have in regards to it. There is also the fact that my writing style has changed and evolved a great deal since I began writing it. This is thanks to meditation (which I recommend to many creative people to boost both the quality and quantity of their work). Therefore, I need to first rewrite all I've done of it so far which is half a novel's worth. I do not mind this since I like editing and polishing work. My favorite part of editing is restructuring sentences; it excites me for some strange reason. :laughing:

Thanks for the offer of support and I share the same sentiment with you. So, enough about me as I would also love an update as to how you're getting on with your own book. You're quite talented and have the golden gift of transporting a reader into a story. :loveI hope - and believe - you will go far.
I didn't think you were too critical at all. I really, really appreciated the in depth advice. To this day, I try not to use too many comas lol. I'm also contemplating cutting out a lot as well, as you suggested because I tend to be very long winded and lend focus on details that most probably don't matter. I can imagine how that can be off putting to potential readers. Especially as most people don't have time to sit down and take their time to read these days.

Thank you so much, and congratulations on your novel!! I'm genuinely happy for you! I can only imagine how good it must feel to have completed a novel, and then go on to have it published. I would SO love to read it so I hope you will let us know when it's out. And good luck with your other projects too. I wish you the absolute success with them all. I think one of the most stressful things about this writing business, is the creative blocks - not being able to produce or push out work at the pace that you want, and just feeling underwhelmed by the quality of the work overall. It's good to hear that you're taking control of the process though. I love the editing and restructuring element too!

You're absolutely welcome, and again, thank you so much. For the kind words, for the encouragement and for simply taking the time out of your day to offer all the advise you have. It means a lot more than you can ever imagine.

And it's going extremely well. I have an annoying tendency to get bored with the stuff I write and if I do, I'll scrap it and work on another idea for a story. But so far I'm really enjoying it, and it really means so much to me. The more I write it, the more I realise how much it means to me on an emotional level. I think I'll be doing myself a great disservice by not completing it, regardless of what the reception may be so I'm just trying to be level headed about the process and stay motivated. I've also never completed a novel before lol so there's that.
 

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I didn't think you were too critical at all. I really, really appreciated the in depth advice. To this day, I try not to use too many comas lol. I'm also contemplating cutting out a lot as well, as you suggested because I tend to be very long winded and lend focus on details that most probably don't matter. I can imagine how that can be off putting to potential readers. Especially as most people don't have time to sit down and take their time to read these days.

Thank you so much, and congratulations on your novel!! I'm genuinely happy for you! I can only imagine how good it must feel to have completed a novel, and then go on to have it published. I would SO love to read it so I hope you will let us know when it's out. And good luck with your other projects too. I wish you the absolute success with them all. I think one of the most stressful things about this writing business, is the creative blocks - not being able to produce or push out work at the pace that you want, and just feeling underwhelmed by the quality of the work overall. It's good to hear that you're taking control of the process though. I love the editing and restructuring element too!

You're absolutely welcome, and again, thank you so much. For the kind words, for the encouragement and for simply taking the time out of your day to offer all the advise you have. It means a lot more than you can ever imagine.

And it's going extremely well. I have an annoying tendency to get bored with the stuff I write and if I do, I'll scrap it and work on another idea for a story. But so far I'm really enjoying it, and it really means so much to me. The more I write it, the more I realise how much it means to me on an emotional level. I think I'll be doing myself a great disservice by not completing it, regardless of what the reception may be so I'm just trying to be level headed about the process and stay motivated. I've also never completed a novel before lol so there's that.
Thanks for the good luck sent my way! :rose

I'm so glad to hear that the writing is going so well for you.

To address what you said in your post's first paragraph: scrapping text can be yours and your work's best friend. My finished novel originally stood at 105,000 words which is too long for its genre. I pared it down to a nice, ideal 84,000-ish word count - even with subsequent layering of the story and additional character development/background with regards to my protagonist.

Even though it can hurt to kill some of your beauties in the process, slashing away at some words and pages makes for a well-honed and polished manuscript in the end. You have to be both ruthless and methodical in the process. I always stash what I cut out, knowing that I may be able to use - or rework - certain lines of text for future projects. When book-writing, I tend to go on intensive editing streaks for 2 to 3 days at a time during which I have to remind myself to eat and take some naps. And, of course, there are the many more minor tweaks along the way and afterward that I'm given to doing. You can tinker with your writing forever if you allow yourself to but, at some point, you've got to let it go. You've got to be confident in how it stands while knowing there is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is something we can only come close to and, truly, that is 100% good enough. There's an anonymous, wise quote author Neil Gaiman resurrected some time ago which is, "Art is never finished - only abandoned."

It is also known that once a writer has completed the writing of a book, they're only half-finished with it. This is because there are often subsequent drafts (My own book had three - although I rewrote the first chapter a total of six times before I was content with it! It was maddening! :rolleyes:). There is what the agent, editors and publishers want from you in making changes to the book (if you go the traditional route) and also the promotion of the book (whether it is published via traditional or autonomous means). And, of course, there is ultimately how the book is received by its audience.

All writers have their weaknesses and their strengths when it comes to their craft and self-editing can help you to pinpoint them both; it's such an educational process. You become self-aware as an artist and to a lucid extent. All the schooling writers often have as well as all the reading they do aside, I feel the best teachers to writers are themselves and the work they're producing.

With your current project, keep that passion burning. Do what it takes to maintain the creative flame. I was getting bored with the now stalled first book of a trilogy because of the block which I was weary of trying to write around. I then decided to move onto another project which I knew would sustain my drive and creativity - one which I had all mapped out from the get-go (with some unexpected, fun detours along the way). Also, candidly, I had a craving to write something with more darkness (although there is a lot of light in there too). I did this with the intention of returning to the other project at a time which will be right for me - even if it is another several years down the line; I've reached a place of acceptance as to that. I figure I will then write the trilogy without interrupting my flow again for anything more than a short story or poem.That said, writing the novel that I completed was, at times, hard on me emotionally for reasons I won't get into. I will just say that I practiced what I call 'soul-letting.' This is bleeding my soul onto those pages to the utmost extent and without becoming heavy-handed since this particular story required that I do so. After completing the initial draft, I would joke to those close to me how the epitaph on my imaginary tombstone should read: "Here Lies ___ She wrote a book. It killed her." :angel

When you do finish your book's first draft, it is going to be such a rush for you! Furthermore, that emotion your feeling will be of benefit to your work if channeled into it. The visceral part of storytelling is every bit as key a component as the visual part is. There is a good little read of a book called, The War of Art by author, Steven Pressfield. In the book, he states something similar to what you said in your post - only with an addition to it: by keeping to resistance (which the book is all about battling as an artist), you are not only doing yourself a disservice but your potential audience as well. And, no, you cannot worry about what reception your book will have by them (and Pressfield states that too). You haven't the time to cater to such negativity; you've got work to do! Ultimately, you are writing the book for yourself - your heart, your soul, your spirit. And your book will be at its best when you write from all three of those things.

Addendum: I always love discussing writing with articulate and talented writers such as yourself so that is why these posts.
 
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byeneptune

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I normally lurk, so I've been waiting for the courage to finally come out of my shell. I really like your writing style and it's something I've been looking for in real life when it comes to books. I would love to read your book whenever it comes out. Keep up the good work!
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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Thanks for the good luck sent my way! :rose

I'm so glad to hear that the writing is going so well for you.

To address what you said in your post's first paragraph: scrapping text can be yours and your work's best friend. My finished novel originally stood at 105,000 words which is too long for its genre. I pared it down to a nice, ideal 84,000-ish word count - even with subsequent layering of the story and additional character development/background with regards to my protagonist.

Even though it can hurt to kill some of your beauties in the process, slashing away at some words and pages makes for a well-honed and polished manuscript in the end. You have to be both ruthless and methodical in the process. I always stash what I cut out, knowing that I may be able to use - or rework - certain lines of text for future projects. When book-writing, I tend to go on intensive editing streaks for 2 to 3 days at a time during which I have to remind myself to eat and take some naps. And, of course, there are the many more minor tweaks along the way and afterward that I'm given to doing. You can tinker with your writing forever if you allow yourself to but, at some point, you've got to let it go. You've got to be confident in how it stands while knowing there is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is something we can only come close to and, truly, that is 100% good enough. There's an anonymous, wise quote author Neil Gaiman resurrected some time ago which is, "Art is never finished - only abandoned."

It is also known that once a writer has completed the writing of a book, they're only half-finished with it. This is because there are often subsequent drafts (My own book had three - although I rewrote the first chapter a total of six times before I was content with it! It was maddening! :rolleyes:). There is what the agent, editors and publishers want from you in making changes to the book (if you go the traditional route) and also the promotion of the book (whether it is published via traditional or autonomous means). And, of course, there is ultimately how the book is received by its audience.

All writers have their weaknesses and their strengths when it comes to their craft and self-editing can help you to pinpoint them both; it's such an educational process. You become self-aware as an artist and to a lucid extent. All the schooling writers often have as well as all the reading they do aside, I feel the best teachers to writers are themselves and the work they're producing.

With your current project, keep that passion burning. Do what it takes to maintain the creative flame. I was getting bored with the now stalled first book of a trilogy because of the block which I was weary of trying to write around. I then decided to move onto another project which I knew would sustain my drive and creativity - one which I had all mapped out from the get-go (with some unexpected, fun detours along the way). Also, candidly, I had a craving to write something with more darkness (although there is a lot of light in there too). I did this with the intention of returning to the other project at a time which will be right for me - even if it is another several years down the line; I've reached a place of acceptance as to that. I figure I will then write the trilogy without interrupting my flow again for anything more than a short story or poem.That said, writing the novel that I completed was, at times, hard on me emotionally for reasons I won't get into. I will just say that I practiced what I call 'soul-letting.' This is bleeding my soul onto those pages to the utmost extent and without becoming heavy-handed since this particular story required that I do so. After completing the initial draft, I would joke to those close to me how the epitaph on my imaginary tombstone should read: "Here Lies ___ She wrote a book. It killed her." :angel

When you do finish your book's first draft, it is going to be such a rush for you! Furthermore, that emotion your feeling will be of benefit to your work if channeled into it. The visceral part of storytelling is every bit as key a component as the visual part is. There is a good little read of a book called, The War of Art by author, Steven Pressfield. In the book, he states something similar to what you said in your post - only with an addition to it: by keeping to resistance (which the book is all about battling as an artist), you are not only doing yourself a disservice but your potential audience as well. And, no, you cannot worry about what reception your book will have by them (and Pressfield states that too). You haven't the time to cater to such negativity; you've got work to do! Ultimately, you are writing the book for yourself - your heart, your soul, your spirit. And your book will be at its best when you write from all three of those things.

Addendum: I always love discussing writing with articulate and talented writers such as yourself so that is why these posts.
No please don't apologise lol! It is absolutely an honour to be talking to, and getting advice from someone as knowledgeable as you. And you're not rambling whatsoever.

Oh, I'm definitely going to have to scrap some stuff. I wanted the story to be at a 200 and something page limit. I just wanted to write something that was very much in depth but short at the same time because I've come to the conclusion that attempting to write longer stories in the past has been to my detriment (I tend to veer away from the plot of the story and go in all different types of directions). Plus I do not have the life experience to be writing long stories.

It's clear that you're extremely passionate at what you do. I'm up to the challenge of confronting the editing chore that follows completing a first draft, but the thought of a THIRD or even forth draft exhausts me lol! I didn't even imagine that it was this meticulous! Now I know, so thanks for that. And I love that quote about art never being finished but abandoned. I'm going to remember that one. I also keep general writing or scenes that I've scrapped to incorporate into future works. For instance a few days ago I was looking at an incompleted story (which was absolutely the first version of the story I'm working on now but very lacklustre in comparison) and I remember being amazed by how much I had put into what I had written and disappointed that I didn't take it any further. I don't know if you ever look at stuff you've written and think 'damn! How did I come up with this? It's a shame I didn't use that.' For me it was like all of those pretty words and emotions had been left to wither away and die on a page. Like what a bloody waste.

I think it's amazing that you can go back to projects that you were working on before but halted to work on something else. For me, once I get bored of a story, it's dead to me. I actually think it's incredible. I can be so, so lazy when it comes to my writing but talking to you and heeding your advice has really motivated me. I'll never forget this. I don't know many writers, or anyone who is able to talk extensively - or with knowledge about it as you do, so this has meant a lot to me. And the fact that you think I'm talented means a lot to me as well. It's ironic that I can't articulate how overjoyed I am that someone as accomplished and evidently passionate as you, thinks I have a promising career as a writer, but I really am so overjoyed. I'm going to continue working on it and keep everything in mind. And trust me when I say I've read and digested everything. I'll also check out the 'War of Art' too.

And I love the tombstone description! Morbid...but witty. It's a nice combination.
 
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EVIL STEPMUM

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I normally lurk, so I've been waiting for the courage to finally come out of my shell. I really like your writing style and it's something I've been looking for in real life when it comes to books. I would love to read your book whenever it comes out. Keep up the good work!
What a beautiful compliment. Thank you so much, hun!
 

Madam Slay

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I like your writing! It's very descriptive and I could feel the tension. I particularly liked this line: The soft streak of moonlight seeping in through the curtains was probably greater than the love in that room.

It's beautiful and painful. You definitely capture my interest and I'd like to know the before and after or Hannah's life. Hell I even managed to feel sorry for Saul, even though I get the impression he's not the best husband.

The sentences were long, but as someone who writes long sentences herself I enjoyed them. You should keep writing because you have talent and I would read this story once it becomes a.book.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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I like your writing! It's very descriptive and I could feel the tension. I particularly liked this line: The soft streak of moonlight seeping in through the curtains was probably greater than the love in that room.

It's beautiful and painful. You definitely capture my interest and I'd like to know the before and after or Hannah's life. Hell I even managed to feel sorry for Saul, even though I get the impression he's not the best husband.

The sentences were long, but as someone who writes long sentences herself I enjoyed them. You should keep writing because you have talent and I would read this story once it becomes a.book.

What incredible feedback! Thank you so much. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it also.
The long sentences are most definitely an awful habit of mine. I need to try to calm down with them lol.
Overall, I'm very grateful for the response. Comments like yours really motivate me to continue writing and finishing up any projects.
And as I said, I would love to read your work. So if at anytime you feel comfortable with sharing, just let me know.
 

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Eloquent is definitely the word to describe your writing style as well as evocative. Reading your work is eye opening and inspiring, I have so much to learn about writing!
I don't know the circumstances that led to the union of Hannah and Saul (hm, wondering if his name is connected at all to a biblical reference) or what holds them in said loveless union, but I want to know more.

You should absolutely keep writing, you have a beautiful, if not heartbreaking, story to tell.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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Eloquent is definitely the word to describe your writing style as well as evocative. Reading your work is eye opening and inspiring, I have so much to learn about writing!
I don't know the circumstances that led to the union of Hannah and Saul (hm, wondering if his name is connected at all to a biblical reference) or what holds them in said loveless union, but I want to know more.

You should absolutely keep writing, you have a beautiful, if not heartbreaking, story to tell.
I'm only just seeing this but I do apologise for the late response.
And thank you so much. I still can't get over the lovely compliments about my writing.

It's funny you mentioned the biblical ref. as it pertains to Saul. I did originally pick the name for this character because for one, I thought it was a unique name (it didn't occur to me how I'd make sense of his parents naming him Saul) and because I do know that Saul in the bible is a pompous and quite complex figure. In this story, Saul is a pompous character and not very self reflective. If he does have any suspicions about his wife's true feelings him, he refuses to explore them further or he convinces himself that everything is okay. But why I thought it was interesting that you brought it up because I have mentally written two different endings of this story and one of them does relate to something happening to Saul. I didn't actually know what had happened to Saul in the bible when I started writing this story.
As for that, and how they met and got married...you'll just have to read it lol.
Thank you again.
 

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