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In hypergamy for Black Women, is a mans social currency or amount of money more important?

In hypergamy, is dating someone with more social currency or more money more important?

  • Social Currency

    Votes: 33 33.3%
  • The Bag$$

    Votes: 66 66.7%

  • Total voters
    99

Barryglock

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if a man made it as a millionaire from being a plumber & started a construction company. He is not educated but good with money & investments.

vs

A Ivy league educated man with connections & a good family. However he wanted to be a public defender to help low income communities & only making 70k a year at a non profit law firm.
He is connected tho & has a lot of social currency. He really networked at his Ivy League school. His people can got your children into good boarding schools for a discount, y’all in the country club on his parents membership ect.

What would you choose ?
The bag or the Social currency?

The bag! If he's good with investments and low profile, that's good enough for me.

I don't need to use him to make connections as I am happy doing that on my own, in my industry, nor am I trying to go to 17 political fundraisers every month to keep appearances up.
 

Beverly417

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Social currency is only valuable if someone values their kids going to boarding school and having country club memberships. It’s a gamble if those choices are even worth it. Kid could end up a pill popper from being in boarding school, which is very common. Or husband could have an affair with someone he met at the country club, also common. Money is money and money will always be valuable regardless of circumstance or need. Social currency is too flaky and keeping up the appearance is exhausting.
 
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Hmm. Interesting matchup.

Rappers are generally around for a good time not a long time. The average fame cycle of a rapper these days is like two years at most. The chances of landing a Jay Z or Snoop with longevity and business savvy are so slim. And even if you do, then there’s still a chance you’ll just be left to fight over pennies with his gang of baby mamas while he cheats openly and you sell hair and booty shorts on social media. That’s not a lifestyle I’d want, although it would probably be fun for a while to have the materialistic life and notoriety.


In this scenario I’d choose the politician, even though I have no interest in dating politicians irl. I’ll take money ($7-800k is more than satisfactory), legacy, and lineage I can pass on to my children.
 

LaBahama

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Social currency
There are some places money alone cant take you. Also it will create those connections for your kids.
 

GrateCarma

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I changed my vote after seeing that Social Currency guy still makes a good amount of money.
 

devilicious

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OP changed the question, she said a millionaire and then switched to 6 figures, but 6 figures is the income, he could have much more

That’s the life Lori Choose. Marjory tried to have her around the right people & at high society events, even in europe. Her image was classy at first ..
lori used to ride equestrian.

she was an equestrian? If her parents had the RIGHT connections, she would have met the right people.
Ex: on Bling Empire, the daughter of a Chinese billionaire said that she wanted to buy a ranch but Ev3 Jobs bidded first or offered more and got it.

lauren was supposed to know those people but instea


Rapper.

I don’t care about having a seat at “the table” anymore. I can’t stand being around passive aggressive white people.

That’s the way OP worded, but you have to look at the whole picture. Artists don’t really get paid the fair share (see Anita Baker talking about outliving her contracts and demanding money or Taylor Swift complaining that she wants her master or catalog back). Athletes can get an injury at any time and most of them do not seek the right people to manage their wealth. Their money can evaporate.

meanwhile those other wealthy people have connections, knowledge of money management and overall are more successful than those artists and athletes.
 

Rose Gardens

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This is like choosing between a higher-paying job or a job that will give you more experience. Always choose the money.
 

DominaHW

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I would choose the second option - a C suite man with connections. 700-800K a year is plenty and even if his reputation falls, people tend to take pity on the wife and re-marrying is easier when you're in the right circles, lol.

People are bringing up scandals, but rappers can and do get involved in scandals too. They also lose their money all the time through overspending, bad business deals, etc. I'd also worry about my kids by a rapper/athlete being stupid by association. So many black kids follow what they see the people around them doing, and we don't need any more black kids out here with ignorant ass fathers.
 

MrsTresvant

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Damn...this is kind of tough...I didn't grow up poor...social currency has immense value to me because even though my parents did well for themselves in the 70s-90s, they had lost their social clout over the years so my connections in their hometown have dwindled because the old heads who move and shake have passed away.

That being said...I firmly believe access can be bought amongst black elites, no matter how many "our kind of people" books and documentaries they produce.

I'll take "that new money $100M ninja" for $1000 Alex!

fµck it, I'd rather leave the USA as it is and go live overseas so the American social network means dick to me as a woman with no kids to be concerned about a legacy for!
 

MrAtlanta

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You could marry an uneducated, illiterate rapper or athlete with millions of dollars and that would be a definition of "marrying down" if you are a woman. So money or wealth is not always about hypergamy.
 

Contemporary

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I can only speak for myself, but as a black woman, I prioritized social capital in a mate. As someone living in a racist, patriarchal society, I have two strikes against me as TPTB see it, so my idea of hypergamy was someone who could...balance that out, so to speak.

Now, other women have to make the choices that are best for them.

My husband has always had "seat at the table" kind of jobs, coveted positions that he's worked VERY hard to get, which have allowed him to make certain moves, and have allowed us to live VERY well. I have gotten tons of perks, made so many connections, just having my wagon attached to his. Money/income is important, but to me, it's not as important as being with someone who is--or looks like he could easily be-- a part of the ruling class.

A man with a moderate income/net worth, but who has class and let's face it, who LOOKS the part is way, way, WAY more attractive to me than a rich or wealthy man who doesn't have social capital, agency, influence, the complexion for the protection, and/or class.

And money can NOT buy class.
 

inasundress

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I feel like asking about social "currency" instead of money is the musing of not knowing how ordinary the lives of financially well off people are. Generally if you have money, wealth, or live comfortably, you are perfectly capable of succeeding socially and professionally and generally have already done that in order to be successful. It's not an either-or issue nor one that is in conflict with itself. Having money does not preclude one from having "social currency." This is a nonsense dichotomy.

It's like money only exists as a fantastical hypothetical on this site.
 

Anohana

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On one hand, the 2nd would 'fit' better with my life/background, but social currency isn't FDIC insured, investable, or transferable. As far as 'seat at the table', 100 million dollars is your own table, and freedom to level up or live however you want. I don't need societal approval that badly.

Political connections/Ivy league educated just sounds like he's too enmeshed in the current iteration of capitalism/respectability. Less money and I have to be with a Respectable Negro invested in racist institutions??? Literally no.
Yeah, this. I don’t want social currency if it means being the respectable, magical negro that lets passive and micro-aggressions slide so I can keep my social status. I don’t want to host dinners for people I don’t care about, and most likely being surrounded by conservatives (lol). Though I would never marry a rapper, etc, I want freedom and F U money. In some cases, social currency can be bought.
 
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jezebel4aj

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Generally if you have money, wealth, or live comfortably, you are perfectly capable of succeeding socially and professionally and generally have already done that in order to be successful.
Thats not true at all. It’s plenty of millionaires with absolutely no social currency.
It’s actually more millionaires with no social currency than it is millionaires with it today. Anyone can start a company tomorrow on the Internet & be a millionaire with 0 connections.


There are plenty of people, especially in Europe with a name & plenty of social currency who money is barely middle class, but they in certain circles because of their name.

A great example of that is Andre Leon Talley..
 

HubsCrush

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With $100 million you can buy your own table and seat whoever you want at it. You can implement the change you want to see in society or least make meaningful strides towards it. You can send your kids to the best schools in the world and any circle that was closed to you will be open to them. Hopefully the guy has some intelligence to go along with the money but if not, I can cover the gap. I would go with the $$$.
 

Remmy45

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Athletes/rappers will blow money to prove to others that they have money.... They are on the news all the time, everyone knows their name and how they look like, hoes will be throwing themselves at them, etc
C-suite men have money AND power. You may think he is "only a millionaire" but he has the connections to grow that net worth plus your kids will grow up around the right people. Those men are not known to the average joe.. only the people on certain circles know who they are. You will have a private, safe life, hoes won't be throwing themselves at them because hoes are dumb and only know men on mainstream media.

I mean, just look at that Harvey girl, she is cute, her parents have money but she chooses to be out with a bunch of bum men, why? Because her parents weren't networking with the right people.
What, outside of future did she real date bums? She ended up with Michael though
 

Canard

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How does a rapper amass $100 million without social currency?

You are literally asking should you marry someone like JayZ in the early 2000s or an A/R executive.

The answer should be obvious.
 

mossshearted

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Money can always buy access--a rapper or athlete that amasses an 8- or 9-figure fortune is able to connect with elite circles pretty easily. One social climbing strategy that works really well for rich people without a pedigree is giving "major gifts" to an elite institution--an Ivy League college, for example. That really opens doors.
 

OctoberBlu

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Both can have social currency. Both can have valuable connection that could be beneficial to you achieving upward mobility. Money provides access, so if he doesn't personally have valuable connections, his money should be able to provide access to certain places and social circles.
 

Musique et Vin

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Neither of these options seem appealing to me.

I'd prefer to secure a very down-to-earth, low-key, private bag.
 

SocaPrincess

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The second man is the more viable option. Sports and music make money but aren’t the most stable of careers (not to say the man might not have a degree but most don’t) and I’m not interested in the limelight or that lifestyle anyway. That Ivy League degree & political and/or business connections will go further. That type of man is my type anyway.
 
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WorkItOut

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Both sound like a nightmare. I prefer to stay away from the very wealthy. They are not good people & even if they are they are influenced by the other very wealthy people around them. I’m telling y’all. Upper middle class business men is the move. Well off, secure financially, and most likely won’t have the over-inflated ego that comes with either of the previously mentioned.
 

RamonaRoyale

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No entertainer gets to 100 million dollar net worth without influential connections.

Neither really because my personality isn't suited to navigate in either of those circles. I want to live a quiet slow-paced life on a large ranch taking care of my horses and rabbits. I like Kelis's current lifestyle. Very peaceful.
So if I have to choose, I would choose a low-key entertainer as they are more likely to be as laid-back as me.
 

kxverse

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Baller (never a rapper) to trick on the low. Eventually marry and reproduce with the politician/ C-suite executive.

You have to have range for that though, lol.

Not every woman is going to be able to navigate through spaces full of well-educated, well-traveled people.

Tad random, but a lot of BW lack self-awareness. I realized this when I kept seeing BW confused as to why women like Nicki Minaj aren't marrying educated tech/banking multimillionaires.

Anyway, a lot of these ballers/ rappers are going to come with baby mamas. Also realistically, are they marriage and family minded at large? No. There careers are not stable and they tend to be terrible with money. The average athlete has no where near 100 million. Even the ones with pretty contracts. Their managers, trainers, chefs, side chicks/ escorts, baby mamas, broke family members, etc. all have to get a cut first.

Social currency
There are some places money alone cant take you. Also it will create those connections for your kids.

Yep.

Look at Future's son who went to jail. Mayweather's fool of a daughter. Granted their mother's were birds, but I wouldn't take any chances. You have to be very careful about the type of man you procreate with!

Now, there are some athletes who were raised in stable, middle-class homes, that went on to good schools, made great connections, and have a plan for when they age out.

Regardless, there are way more self-made millionaires and old money men who aren't athletes. Period. If you're serious about elevating your dating life, you would look at proven, common results and outcomes. So many are literally chasing ballers (basketball and football) and rappers. At least 50% these new athletes (under 35) end up with non-black and biracial women as wives, if the marry at all.

I know we're just theorizing and shooting the breeze... but if you have the beauty and class and social skills, you'd be better off going for stable money to marry. Have your fun with the ballers in your youth, but actively cultivating yourself to be desirable to established professional men is playing the long-game.

The only women who should be actively seeking ballers and rappers are women with no education and professional career, women who can't navigate professional spaces. If you're over 28, you need to be looking at retired athletes anyway. The family-minded, more reasonable ballers (fb/bb) tend to marry or cohabit with women they met in HS/college, especially when they are with BW.

Tennis, golf, etc. is different. Most men who play these sports don't have poverty mindset. They were raised middle/ upper-middle/ upper class.
 

bangtang

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Celebrities children and ones from parents with social currency backgrounds grow up similarly, they usually hang out in the same circle
 

PrimaDonnaDiva

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Highly respected, highly paid. Perfect duo in a man. I would not want to date a celebrity or a guy in social media.
 

Sallie Blair

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I'm going with social currency. I am highly educated and I've always wanted to be part of a power couple on the charity and political circuits. I don't need TSR or Baller Alert crowd in my business---I want to be in Vogue or W Magazine.
 

Rayven Lashea

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I'm going with social currency. I am highly educated and I've always wanted to be part of a power couple on the charity and political circuits. I don't need TSR or Baller Alert crowd in my business---I want to be in Vogue or W Magazine.


From your lips to God ears. I love your ambition. I hope you find what you are looking for. Fame is very overrated to me. I want money and intelligence.
 

Letscook11

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From your lips to God ears. I love your ambition. I hope you find what you are looking for. Fame is very overrated to me. I want money and intelligence.

I don't know why so many on this site think rich white men = intelligent. I dated a rich white man who was a dummy. He was only rich because he had a trustfunds thanks to his dad. Had he been a regular black man he probably would have been a homeless crackhead. There are a lot of rich white guys like this, especially in the trustfund set.

And I can't speak about rappers but I knew professional athletes who weren't dumb. The smart ones know they are lucky as hell to have freaky genetics and know they have a short shelf life for a career.
 

Born_in_DC

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Nothing is guaranteed but there is no stability in someone just having social currency.

If a man has lots of money then he has more social currency than any athlete. Who you think has more access to millionaires, billionaires and CEO’s, the athlete/rapper or the man who works in the C-Suite who works with the people who pays the athletes, rappers and etc. The athlete may have more fame but the C-Suite guy has more social currency where it matters and behind the scenes is where the money gets moved around.
And if the CEO loses it all, he can use his connections to get it back.
 

EchoLake

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I know LSA's head is going to explode, but we just crossed our first million. I'm a SAHW with an allowance and a degree/career that allows me to set my own schedule to work when I want to.

Money talks by itself, so social currency means nothing to me. It's fleeting as trends change and yields no generational stability. Most of the influencers and entertainers you guys aspire to be are financially challenged clout-chasers with roommates and low/no coverage health insurance, if that.

The ones who are smart make longer term investments outside that industry in preparation for when their star has faded, especially in an era of 24/7 digital viral entertainment.
 

hankertron

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Both sound like a nightmare. I prefer to stay away from the very wealthy. They are not good people & even if they are they are influenced by the other very wealthy people around them. I’m telling y’all. Upper middle class business men is the move. Well off, secure financially, and most likely won’t have the over-inflated ego that comes with either of the previously mentioned.
You make a valid point but you did not hit the bullseye. You never
know who the best mate and match will be. Your approach just like the
others creates a bias and serious blind spot.

Your guys must be your best friend. You should be very tight and very motivated for success. You both just have to be the match.
 

TheZoilist

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Social currency is how you get looooong money, a stable life and a legacy is worth more than a big shiny check, and also as discussed in that other thread, after a certain amount of money it stops mattering as much. i’d rather have a spouse i could be proud and happy with, and a legacy i could pass on
 

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