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Is Friends with benefits possible?

DasNamel

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I never fµcked anyone outside of a relationship until a lil bit ago via this thread http://www.lipstickalley.com/f232/i-took-guys-virginity-last-night-512179/

Anyway, is it possible to just fµck or does someone always catch feelings?

I've been staying over his house a lot but didn't see him today. I keep thinking about him....but it's not strong yearning. IDK maybe I'm just horny? I think I like him but I don't because we were friends for 4 years before the banging and it was NEVER like that. I think it's just the chemicals released during xes making me feel this way. I like him like that but then I don't at the same time. I dunno what to do..:nailbiting:
 

Plumbus

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I used a guy, he wasn't my friend though. We dated but I didn't have any feelings for him. But then again, I was going through a break up with my ex so I wasn't open to anything.
 

MrPremium

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Yes. As long as nobody gets their feelings attached and it's clear what is going on in the situation but usually, after a while 1 person starts to have feelings and messes everything up.
 

Valhalla

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I don't think it is for a lot of people. You'd both have to be damn near sociopathic for that to work out for longer than a year and have neither want anything more.
 

THA K

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We were good for awhile until HE caught feelings and then it went downhill...We were good friends but we couldn't get it right again. I still want the best for him but I've learned my lesson and will never do it again.
 

Monika

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Nope. Someone is gonna want more at some point.
 

LoveSupreme

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2103-youre-a-special-kind-of-stupid-arent-you.jpg
 

Livvy Lane

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I personally don't think so.

Just like everybody else said...someone catching feelings is basically inevitable.

xes, by design, is made to strengthen emotional bonds based on all the hormones released during and after. It's going against biology to not feel some type of closeness to someone you're having xes with.
 

Strv2Perfection

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Yes!!! But you gotta set rules.

1. We're just fµck!ng
2. No overnight visits (get yo ass up and go home)
3. No dates or hanging out (y'all just fµck!ng not dating)
4. No catching feeling if the other party starts fµck!ng someone else also. (Don't ask/don't tell)
 
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Just find a cheap prostitute, don't get feelings involved bc it gets hella complicated
 

boldnbeautiful

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Do it until it stops working for you.

You can be a FWB but everything has an expiration date. Whether it spawns off into a relationship or ruins a standing friendship I say "Hey" indulge, enjoy the newly deflowered peen and deal with the inevitable when it arrives.

ETA And sh!t girl the journey already commenced for you and ole boy; don't stop now!

And please keep us posted :hungry:
 

2000Watts

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It's possible. I tend to get very detached, but I'm not gonna go the fwb route anymore. Just not the healthiest thing for me.
 

Emmy Knatchbull

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xes complicates everything-even more so when there's a lot of "firsts" like in your situation. Now that you guys have bonded xesually, you're seeing him as a man and not just a friend. I think you may be having some feelings for this guy. JMHO.


 

Star Jones

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I've never been able to hang out and have dinner without having some dude start getting attached. If I had slept with one of them, then you would've been reading about us in the news.

It never, ever works. Rory stated the type of people that would best benefit from FWBs.

I mean look at you. You're already writing threads and opening yourself to getting clowned on LSA. Stop it, now. Let it go.
 

Artemus

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From my experience, at least one side will develop SOME kind of feelings. And quite frankly, if one partner doesn't develop any, they are pretty cold. You can't engage in the most intimate of human acts over and over and NOT feel something other than your own orgasm.

But yeah, you can't leave your heart on the shelf forever.
 

Contemporary

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It was possible for me. I've never been immature to the point where I tried to make every xesual encounter into a love or romance.
 

WHATAWORLD

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Yes you can...in order to not catch feelings...the time must be limited once the xes starts.


Getting to know someone(spending lots of time together) makes it easier to develop feelings

Most women are stimulated mentally before xes, if they're aroused by you physically before the mental and the time is limited, no feelings will develop.
 

Janet Jinjuriki

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in some unique situations i say yes...especially if the xes is good but they have a gross personality or fatal flaws

the problem is how do you go back to being friends without being physical after that moment has passed
 

M I N D

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I think its possible but it's rare that one doesn't catch feelings. I would suggests not spending so much time at his place OP. Make your time together limited.

I could never be in a friends with benefits because most of close male friends I used to have all started falling for me at some point, even though I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends. I've only had one male friend I think i could have pulled that off with but for most part no.

Now that I think about it, I wish i could just have ONE male friend who didn't end up liking me -__-
 

kettleballs

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Impossible for a single woman or man who have no other attachments. One will catch feelings. I've never heard of any other way. Men and women can be friends, but it's usually easier to keep those boundaries drawn and in place if one of them is dating, married, screwing someone else. As the friend, you must respect those boundaries or end up being the ho.
 

Divakim89

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Yes!!! But you gotta set rules.

1. We're just fµck!ng
2. No overnight visits (get yo ass up and go home)
3. No dates or hanging out (y'all just fµck!ng not dating)
4. No catching feeling if the other party starts fµck!ng someone else also. (Don't ask/don't tell)
then yall not friends, just strangers having xes...
 

DasNamel

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in some unique situations i say yes...especially if the xes is good but they have a gross personality or fatal flaws

the problem is how do you go back to being friends without being physical after that moment has passed

That's what I'm wondering. :rose-dead:
 

Janet Jinjuriki

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That's what I'm wondering. :rose-dead:

honestly im dealing with this problem now

i have a close friend of 15 years that i began messing around with 5 years ago...we went from strictly plutonic to xesual...and i did develop feelings in the beginning but i realized that personality wise we werent going to be a good match for an actual relationship

even tho the xes is good i really wish we could just go back to the way things was...i dont want to have xes with him anymore...but he really does

i told him im chillin.....and he still tries to bring it up...like "i miss being with you" and crap like that...only time he will drop it is if im in a relationship....i dont know what to do to just move on and still be friends with him :(
 

DasNamel

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honestly im dealing with this problem now

i have a close friend of 15 years that i began messing around with 5 years ago...we went from strictly plutonic to xesual...and i did develop feelings in the beginning but i realized that personality wise we werent going to be a good match for an actual relationship

even tho the xes is good i really wish we could just go back to the way things was...i dont want to have xes with him anymore...but he really does

i told him im chillin.....and he still tries to bring it up...like "i miss being with you" and crap like that...only time he will drop it is if im in a relationship....i dont know what to do to just move on and still be friends with him :(

Yeah, I don't think it is possible for it to go back to the way it was. Especially since you fµcked for such a long time....changes the dynamics of everything.
 

Libraj

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It is entirely possible. I have done it and gone right back to being friends. But I do realize not everyone is built that way.
 

Illyria

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OP, I am slightly in the same situation as you except it's a bit more complicated. I wish you all the best and hope that you do what's right for you!
 

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