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Is this emotional abuse?

incogneato

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Constantly judging harshly and accusing me of lying. Pointing out my “flaws”, and being very short tempered with me, and then being fine the next day. Being very jealous if I mention another man, then accusing me of lying.

Him:

“You just don’t understand me, the things you do don’t make sense. You don’t get me!”

“For us to stay together you need to understand me! You don’t know me.”

“I’m a thinker! I need you to think more, because you don’t get it!”

“You’re very intelligent, but you have a lot of flaws. A lot of them. It’s mind boggling.”

(I finally responded in defense, and said “it must be nice to not have any flaws”, he grew angry, broke up with me and blocked my number. However, he is still following my IG.

I’ve been grieving the death of a loved one, so my grief I think has paired my judgment a lot in that relationship. I’m not going back, I just needed to vent and a bit of clarity.
 

Nana Peazant

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Yes it is emotional abuse. Often we ask questions we know the answers to reaching out for validation.

Give yourself permission to validate your own thoughts.
 

Angeling

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If you feel the need to ask this question then the answer is usually yes. Even if it wasn’t emotional abuse it’s still BS and it’s best to leave him alone ASAP.
 

Bella8933

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Constantly judging harshly and accusing me of lying. Pointing out my “flaws”, and being very short tempered with me, and then being fine the next day. Being very jealous if I mention another man, then accusing me of lying.

Him:

“You just don’t understand me, the things you do don’t make sense. You don’t get me!”

“For us to stay together you need to understand me! You don’t know me.”

“I’m a thinker! I need you to think more, because you don’t get it!”

“You’re very intelligent, but you have a lot of flaws. A lot of them. It’s mind boggling.”

(I finally responded in defense, and said “it must be nice to not have any flaws”, he grew angry, broke up with me and blocked my number. However, he is still following my IG.

I’ve been grieving the death of a loved one, so my grief I think has paired my judgment a lot in that relationship. I’m not going back, I just needed to vent and a bit of clarity.

Jeeesh! Thank God you got out of THAT situation by making him mad enough to dump you.

What a fkin monster. I don't even know how you hung around after that first incident I would never allow a man to treat me like that.

But be careful. Heś not gone. He's still plotting on you ... that is why he watches your stories.

In 3... 2....1 heś going to contact you again and try to get back into your life. If he catches you in a weak moment BOOM he'll be back and more abusive than ever!

You need to block him from watching your stuff. If he knows you know he's watching right? So in his mind, you are setting up an invitation to invite him back.

Block everything about yourself to him because itś just a matter of time until he 's back .. if you let him.

Be careful...
 

WonderfullyMade4Me

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Constantly judging harshly and accusing me of lying. Pointing out my “flaws”, and being very short tempered with me, and then being fine the next day. Being very jealous if I mention another man, then accusing me of lying.

Him:

“You just don’t understand me, the things you do don’t make sense. You don’t get me!”

“For us to stay together you need to understand me! You don’t know me.”

“I’m a thinker! I need you to think more, because you don’t get it!”

“You’re very intelligent, but you have a lot of flaws. A lot of them. It’s mind boggling.”

(I finally responded in defense, and said “it must be nice to not have any flaws”, he grew angry, broke up with me and blocked my number. However, he is still following my IG.

I’ve been grieving the death of a loved one, so my grief I think has paired my judgment a lot in that relationship. I’m not going back, I just needed to vent and a bit of clarity.

I don't like this at all, and neither should you. That little "think more" swipe would have deaded the whole relationship for me.
 

incogneato

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Sorry for all of the grammatical errors. I meant to say, IMPAIRED my judgment. I’ve been crying all day, and could barely type this out. Thank you for replying.
 

EVIL STEPMUM

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I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this op, on top of your loss. Please block this man. Best wishes to you, sweetheart.
 

D E L E T E

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Iconic Britney Spears inspired “Dump Him” shirt.... - Depop
 

Prettibrowneyes

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Girl RUNNNNNNNNN and don’t let him reel you back in. Like someone said.. BLOCK HIM ON EVERYTHING!!
 

UStoleMyName

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Constantly judging harshly and accusing me of lying. Pointing out my “flaws”, and being very short tempered with me, and then being fine the next day. Being very jealous if I mention another man, then accusing me of lying.

Him:

“You just don’t understand me, the things you do don’t make sense. You don’t get me!”

“For us to stay together you need to understand me! You don’t know me.”

“I’m a thinker! I need you to think more, because you don’t get it!”

“You’re very intelligent, but you have a lot of flaws. A lot of them. It’s mind boggling.”

(I finally responded in defense, and said “it must be nice to not have any flaws”, he grew angry, broke up with me and blocked my number. However, he is still following my IG.

I’ve been grieving the death of a loved one, so my grief I think has paired my judgment a lot in that relationship. I’m not going back, I just needed to vent and a bit of clarity.
Wow... well I hope you don’t let him back into your life. On insta you can make him unfollow you and then you can block him. You deserve better than that. Also, so sorry for your loss of a loved one. Please take care of yourself.
 

TMZ1

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I'm not 100% sure because I'm only reading this thread but he might be narcissist. The things that sound like it are

his putting you down for being you, condescendingly, and sounding like he really believes it,
him trying to make it your fault that he's misunderstood,
him positioning himself as the center of the pain and "wrongdoing"
him putting all the blame on you and exonerating himself,
him telling you all about yourself and how he feels, then when you finally speak up for yourself minus any insults (really just adding to what he says) him FREAKING OUT and ending your relationship

sounds like a bitchmade narcissist to me.

If not a narcissist, definitely bitchmade

YES, that is emotional abuse

protect yourself from him because he is only thinking about himself and it sounds like he's trying to make you out to be the enemy. (Read up on narcissists, they all have the same playbook)

Protect your magic and your energy. Leave that boy and don't even check back
 

Tenderoni3

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Constantly judging harshly and accusing me of lying. Pointing out my “flaws”, and being very short tempered with me, and then being fine the next day. Being very jealous if I mention another man, then accusing me of lying.

Him:

“You just don’t understand me, the things you do don’t make sense. You don’t get me!”

“For us to stay together you need to understand me! You don’t know me.”

“I’m a thinker! I need you to think more, because you don’t get it!”

“You’re very intelligent, but you have a lot of flaws. A lot of them. It’s mind boggling.”

(I finally responded in defense, and said “it must be nice to not have any flaws”, he grew angry, broke up with me and blocked my number. However, he is still following my IG.

I’ve been grieving the death of a loved one, so my grief I think has paired my judgment a lot in that relationship. I’m not going back, I just needed to vent and a bit of clarity.
He's a narcissist. Run while you still can
 

NarcoticVenus

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I do think that he is selfish and taking advantage of your lack of boundaries.

He knows that you will not react so he keeps chipping away at your self-esteem so he can control you.

Breaking up with him is the best thing.

The fact that he can't even empathize with you during your bereavement tells you everything there is to know about him.
 

Voiderror404

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Yes it is emotional abuse. Often we ask questions we know the answers to reaching out for validation.

Give yourself permission to validate your own thoughts.


There's a psychologist on youtube who specializes in healing from toxic relationships and she flat out said


"If you find yourself googling someone's behavior you know that something is wrong"



OP knows he's emtionally abusive. She just needs the confirmation from other people.
 

Relaunch91

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There's a psychologist on youtube who specializes in healing from toxic relationships and she flat out said


"If you find yourself googling someone's behavior you know that something is wrong"



OP knows he's emtionally abusive. She just needs the confirmation from other people.
Actually that’s the problem she doesn’t need us to confirm she needs to trust her god given intuition and move forward.
 

incogneato

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There's a psychologist on youtube who specializes in healing from toxic relationships and she flat out said


"If you find yourself googling someone's behavior you know that something is wrong"



OP knows he's emtionally abusive. She just needs the confirmation from other people.

I needed to question, because all of the gaslighting that I’ve been through. Didn’t know if I was being sensitive or overreacting. But now I see. Thank you.
 

yunalesca

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Even if you were overreacting, does it matter? If we all said it was ok, would it make it any better?

Follow your intuition and if it feels wrong to you, you owe it to yourself to get out of that situation
 

Cada2

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He doesn’t sound like a helpful, patient, concerned man. If you’re his lady, he should take the time to get to know you, and for you to know him.
 

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