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LONG: Leave the U.S. or stay?

EatTheRich

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This question is for those who have extensive traveling experience. I would like your advice on the best course of action to take.

So, throughout this pandemic I have been through what feels like a bit of an awakening. I was furloughed from my job, and it has not been reopened since. However, I have saved a substantial amount of money prior to the shutdown, and I am still currently receiving unemployment. I have been offered a lucrative position at a prestigious facility in another state, but I fear that the cost of rent, childcare, food, another car, car insurance, etc. will eventually wipe out my savings. I have been offered relocation assistance, but that will only take me so far.

Having the rug swept from under my feet at the height of the pandemic opened my eyes to how quickly one's life can change within the blink of an eye. It's scary, and I have horrible anxiety about it happening again. I'm also afraid of the fact that moving across the country to work myself into the ground for an employer that leaves no room for tardiness, absences or sick time from work before six months of employment will work against me. I am the sole provider for my children, and let's be honest here: sh!t HAPPENS.

So, a big part of me wants to take this time and my savings that I have to live abroad for a while. There is a current housing, eviction and homelessness crisis in the U.S. right now, but it pales in comparison to what is looming. I don't have the room to be let go from a job due to no fault of my own. Also, one of my children is suffering mentally due to the changes that the pandemic brought on, and I need to be there for her instead of slaving my time away for an employer that will replace me at the snap of a fingertip.

I want to go someplace where cash is king instead of one's credit score, rental history, making 3x the rent, etc. I also want to go someplace where I know that rent is affordable and where I know that my money will stretch enough to sustain us for an extended period of time. I've also had enough of the politics, living in constant fear of my life because I am Black and how dismissive the U.S. has been to the repetitive traumas imposed on upon those who look like me.

My question is: Am I crazy for considering declining the position so that we could live a more affordable, slower paced and more quality way of living? I feel like I'll never have an opportunity again to save the amount of money that I have in the past three years, and the cost of living in the U.S. is steadily rising. If you were in my position, would you take the job or would you take the plunge and move abroad? Respectful answers only. Condescension will not be tolerated .
 

MSMJFANFOREVER

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You said a word. I wish I could get out this effed up society myself. I wouldn’t accept that job. It sounds like a nightmare. Keeping BW conditioned to struggle and staying miserable is the name of the game.

A change of scenery does wonders if you have the means (you can always return). Just be smart with planning and If you do decide to leave, build a support system for you and your family. They’ll be plenty of naysayers.
 

EatTheRich

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You said a word. I wish I could get out this effed up society myself. I wouldn’t accept that job. It sounds like a nightmare. People have become conditioned to struggle and staying miserable...

A change of scenery does wonders if you have the means (you can always return). Just be smart with planning and If you do decide to leave, build a support system for you and your family. They’ll be plenty of naysayers.

I appreciate your support. I mean it! I thought I was crazy. What has been blatantly in our faces in the last few months let me know that we've truly been living in a matrix. I'm sick of it all: the crime, the reign of white supremacy, censorship, brainwashing via media outlets, the unaffordable cost of living. . .you name it.

I don't think I am going to accept the job either. What also made me feel uncomfortable was the fact that I was interviewed by a panel of six people from management within my department, and they were all white. That's not realistic to deal with for me at this point in my life.

I do plan to build up a sense of community for us prior to taking the leap, but I feel that it is long overdue. So tell me. . .what's stopping you? You can do it too, Sis!
 

Aixela15

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I’m biased because I’m all about expatriation. For me, the USA will always be home BUT if I can live in another country, I can, I will and I have. I haven’t traveled as much as I’ve wanted- I’ve only been to 10 countries and have lived in 2 others. I say, if you can get a remote job in the US, full or part time, do that and move to:
Mexico (check out the Yucatan peninsula. Merida is a great spot. Good amount of locals and expats.)

The Dominican Republic (my Haitian-American friend packed her bags and moved there spontaneously. She’s extremely happy with the lifestyle)

Also Belize.

If you’re open to moving farther, places like Thailand and Bali, Indonesia will give you a LOT of bang for your buck. I love them both and I’d move to either one in a heartbeat but I’ve lived in Asia and cant deal with 15-16 hr flights anymore.

Europe tends to be more expensive but I’ve heard good things about Portugal (I haven’t been there yet). Not as cheap as the above places I mentioned but cheaper than most European countries.

I moved to Korea a few years ago because I had a tough time getting a job in the US and I was just unhappy and depressed. Living in Asia afforded me the lifestyle I wanted. Everything there was cheap to me because I’m from NY and used to things being expensive. Everything from food, to hotels, healthcare, etc. was so affordable. The USA is just stressful as hell. A freakin rat race with crumbs for benefits. Only reason Im back in the US is to get my masters and a couple years of American work experience before I head overseas again.

I only advise people to get an American job that’s remote because local jobs will pay you according to the cost of living. If you get paid in USD, you’ll live like royalty. Either that or an American company with a location in your country of choice.

sorry for the long reply but hope that helps!
 

TheEntertainer

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My ONLY thing with becoming an expat is this (and only people from close or "good" families can relate I guess) - If I can't uproot my whole family to the region, it's not worth it because I'll always be having those same worries I had for myself, for them. Add being a world away (unless we are talking Canada), it's just not for me.


no issue with expats but do it for the right reason, YOUR reason. most people do this for escapism or for feel like they 'won' against America.
 

EatTheRich

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I’m biased because I’m all about expatriation. For me, the USA will always be home BUT if I can live in another country, I can, I will and I have. I haven’t traveled as much as I’ve wanted- I’ve only been to 10 countries and have lived in 2 others. I say, if you can get a remote job in the US, full or part time, do that and move to:
Mexico (check out the Yucatan peninsula. Merida is a great spot. Good amount of locals and expats.)

The Dominican Republic (my Haitian-American friend packed her bags and moved there spontaneously. She’s extremely happy with the lifestyle)

Also Belize.

If you’re open to moving farther, places like Thailand and Bali, Indonesia will give you a LOT of bang for your buck. I love them both and I’d move to either one in a heartbeat but I’ve lived in Asia and cant deal with 15-16 hr flights anymore.

Europe tends to be more expensive but I’ve heard good things about Portugal (I haven’t been there yet). Not as cheap as the above places I mentioned but cheaper than most European countries.

I moved to Korea a few years ago because I had a tough time getting a job in the US and I was just unhappy and depressed. Living in Asia afforded me the lifestyle I wanted. Everything there was cheap to me because I’m from NY and used to things being expensive. Everything from food, to hotels, healthcare, etc. was so affordable. The USA is just stressful as hell. A freakin rat race with crumbs for benefits. Only reason Im back in the US is to get my masters and a couple years of American work experience before I head overseas again.

I only advise people to get an American job that’s remote because local jobs will pay you according to the cost of living. If you get paid in USD, you’ll live like royalty. Either that or an American company with a location in your country of choice.

sorry for the long reply but hope that helps!

Thank you!!!! I've been considering Bali! Y'all make me feel so much less crazy. I shared my plans with only one other person, and she was like "why would you decline a good paying job to go to some third world country?!" I didn't even argue. I just told her she was right and stuck to my plans.
 

EatTheRich

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^ I’m definitely working on it. I like to move in silence though.

Same! I haven't shared with too many people. And I'm going to keep my mouth shut before and after I leave unless someone is on the same tip I'm on and looking for similar change.
 

EatTheRich

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My ONLY thing with becoming an expat is this (and only people from close or "good" families can relate I guess) - If I can't uproot my whole family to the region, it's not worth it because I'll always be having those same worries I had for myself, for them. Add being a world away (unless we are talking Canada), it's just not for me.


no issue with expats but do it for the right reason, YOUR reason. most people do this for escapism or for feel like they 'won' against America.

I understand and respect your perspective as well. I can completely understand how your attachment to your family would prevent you from leaving and make you concerned for them. I mean, look at what we're living with!

For me it is easier because life experiences have taught me how not building attachments to people, places and things has its perks. With how technology has advanced I am always a Zoom call away and would encourage my family to leave the matrix as well.
 

dodgy

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Thank you!!!! I've been considering Bali! Y'all make me feel so much less crazy. I shared my plans with only one other person, and she was like "why would you decline a good paying job to go to some third world country?!" I didn't even argue. I just told her she was right and stuck to my plans.
Things like these, you have to keep to yourself. Just because other people can't see what you see, doesn't mean that you're crazy. I'd say that a change is as good as a rest, OP, and if you can leave and take your child/ren away for a few months, why not? I'd definitely say South America if you can (Panama isn't bad for Americans re cost of living). Good luck, OP. Just do your research before you jump.
 

Aixela15

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Thank you!!!! I've been considering Bali! Y'all make me feel so much less crazy. I shared my plans with only one other person, and she was like "why would you decline a good paying job to go to some third world country?!" I didn't even argue. I just told her she was right and stuck to my plans.
Third world country?!?!? What the hell?!? Listen to me when I say, move in silence!!! I told maybe 3 people I was planning to move to korea. I told everyone else when I had my visa in hand- two weeks before my flight! And even THEN I got “omggg how can u move to such a racist country?!? What about N0rth korea?!? It’s dangerous! They dont like black folk!!!” All from people who never been out the state. People need to stop believing the propaganda that everywhere else outside of America is a sh!thole country and actually get out and travel. My point is, dont let people’s opinion sway you (especially when they have no experience in what theyre talking about) and also, what works for you may not work for others. My two cents: watch a lot of youtube and read blogs and compile a list of countries you may be interested in then do research into each (cost of living, foreigner friendly, schools, safety, etc.) then, if possible maybe visit a couple (honestly not always necessary. I made the jump overseas and many have but because you have children, might be best to “feel it out”).

Bali is a freakin paradise! You will live like a queen. Locals were great. Food was all natural and CHEAP. Tons of activities. Tons of expats so you can build a community (also get friendly with the locals as well of course). VERRRRRY safe. Also suggest thailand. If you want the big city feel- check out bangkok. Maybe taiwan as a back up.

soooooo many opportunities out there.

join some expat groups on Facebook!!! Soo many people with way more extensive knowledge that can offer more support and advice.
 

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The two countries with the most viable cash economy are China and Israel.

It is expensive to move to Israel and property ownership is dependent upon a spouse and converting to Orthodox.

Everything is China is janky. You can also own one property and the rules are dependent upon providence.
 

EatTheRich

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Thank you! Your advice and encouragement means a lot to me.
 

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