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Maladaptive Daydreaming

HeadsWillRoll

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Yes, I have maladaptive daydreaming. I spend most of my day daydreaming to varying degrees. I could be having a full-blown conversation with you, meanwhile partially daydreaming. Lots of things are triggers. I like to daydream while listening to music, watching programmes, etc.
I don't see it as a problem right now, as I don't have much better to do with my time. It doesn't seem to get in the way of work when I'm on courses and such, so I'm okay there. I'm not going to reel it in anytime soon.
 

famalam

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I've literally wasted away years of my life.
I don't even know what triggers me but when it happens.... gooooodbyeeee world!
I will mouth things, make facial movements, make actually FULL BODY movements! I even do this when I drive sometimes. I keep shaking my head to get out of it but I find myself slipping right back in.
It's SO embarrassing, I've been caught multiple times.
Responses have ranged from laughter to "Are you alright?!"

UGH! I don't know how to make it stop. I can't believe this isn't a legit psychological disorder in the books.
Surprised big phrama wouldn't jump on it to try to sell us some toxic sh1t

The thing with me though is usually these daydreams have to do with past scenarios and people I actually know.

It's so tiring.

there's a drug out there that doctors acc prescribe if they feel like the condition is affecting your life its called fluvoxamine
 

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I have had this since childhood. For me I don’t know what caused this. And It does get in the way sometimes and I do sometimes embarrass myself by acting out bits of my daydream. But on the upside I am very good at writing because my stories or essays begin in daydream form and then I write them out. I’ve never gotten any grade below an A in a writing class.

The négative aspects are that I can’t really watch tv or when I’m having a convo with someone I will zone out. I zone out while driving and in class a lot too. Just last week I was at my friends house watching a movie with her and I zoned out so there’s a huge chunk of that movie that I missed.
I never knew street signs or addresses until I was like 19 because I would daydream in car rides. I couldn’t even remember directions based on landmarks because that’s how disconnected I was.
I remember one of my sports coaches told me that I had a blank stare when she was talking to me. She got mad because she thought it was being rude and ignoring her. Little did she know I was in my own little world in my head lol.
I don’t have any tips for managing it because I’m pretty bad at managing it myself but you’re not alone and this is actually a real condition that effects people. And it doesn’t have to ruin your life. Try to find how you can use it to your advantage.
 

incogneato

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I listen to music, write, or do something fun to try to distract my constant daydreaming.
 

Liliu

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Guess I'm not meant to share...sorry for the empty post guys.
 
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kashianna

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as long as your dreams aren't negative youre good. Just notice when you are doing and think, I should be actually doing things to be able to do the stuff Im dreaming about. Its not a big deal. only problem starts with difficulty focusing on tasks. SO just start reading stop going on social media for long hours of time and try to keep your attention on things. Always being used to quick results and sh!t like that are whats stopping your ability to focus on tasks. Trust me those things work. try it out
 

incogneato

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Yes. Mine is so terrible it has taken over my life.
Me too! It's so draining and unhealthy.

I sit around for hours trapped in a dream world. I meet a cute guy but in my daydreams he always ends up cheating on me and/or leaves me for another woman. It's stupid but I feel addicted to this pain.

I wish I could bring it to an abrupt end but I think giving myself happy endings and burying past trauma would help a lot.
 

Liliu

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Me too! It's so draining and unhealthy.

I sit around for hours trapped in a dream world. I meet a cute guy but in my daydreams he always ends up cheating on me and/or leaves me for another woman. It's stupid but I feel addicted to this pain.

I wish I could bring it to an abrupt end but I think giving myself happy endings and burying past trauma would help a lot.

I think in this situation you should seek counseling if it'll make it easier you can read this exact post to the therapist if it's hard to admit or start a conversation about.
 

incogneato

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I think in this situation you should seek counseling if it'll make it easier you can read this exact post to the therapist if it's hard to admit or start a conversation about.
I have actually! my therapist is great. But the work starts with me, I can only go to so many sessions; it's time to push myself to take that next step.

My therapist says I need to accept reality and he's right. I think seeking out support has been helpful to like talk to other people in group about it or on here/Twitter (made some friends a few years back on there) is getting me there.

The tricky part is finding a healthy substitute. Once there's no pain, I need a healthy behavior to put in place so that I can thrive more.
 

Justme00

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Hi,

I believe I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming. I have been doing a lot of research on it, and I believe I have it. I believe my father has it too.

Does anyone else have it? If so how do you cope? Or how did you cure yourself? Also, what are some good resources?

What helped jar me was real life situations that are so intense I don't even get to daydream anymore.
Hell, now I just ponder about what I've heard that day.

Today, a younger sibling called, with her 'children' in the background whom I've never met yelling 'Danielle'. I've never met them before in my entire life.
 

Liliu

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I have actually! my therapist is great. But the work starts with me, I can only go to so many sessions; it's time to push myself to take that next step.

My therapist says I need to accept reality and he's right. I think seeking out support has been helpful to like talk to other people in group about it or on here/Twitter (made some friends a few years back on there) is getting me there.

The tricky part is finding a healthy substitute. Once there's no pain, I need a healthy behavior to put in place so that I can thrive more.
Okay, that's great that you've taken that step. Have you identified the root cause of what started the maladaptive daydreaming if there is a specific event or events that you can pinpoint?

Or are you working on dealing with the trauma in counseling that will enable you to envision yourself with the happy life we all want?

How about journaling or making a vision board and doing affirmations? If you read you can check out Brene Brown and Louise Hay.
 

incogneato

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Okay, that's great that you've taken that step. Have you identified the root cause of what started the maladaptive daydreaming if there is a specific event or events that you can pinpoint?

Or are you working on dealing with the trauma in counseling that will enable you to envision yourself with the happy life we all want?

How about journaling or making a vision board and doing affirmations? If you read you can check out Brene Brown and Louise Hay.
I’m gonna try that, a vision board. Thank you for that suggestion.

I am a domestic abuse and xesual assault survivor so I have reoccurring daydreams of being manipulated and taken advantage of. The daydream starts out happy but he always cheats on me in the end or leaves me at the altar. It’s bizarre and unsettling that my trauma has leaked into my daydreams. I want to change the ending and stop fixating on all the bad scenarios.

It’s a long process lol
 

Liliu

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I’m gonna try that, a vision board. Thank you for that suggestion.

I am a domestic abuse and xesual assault survivor so I have reoccurring daydreams of being manipulated and taken advantage of. The daydream starts out happy but he always cheats on me in the end or leaves me at the altar. It’s bizarre and unsettling that my trauma has leaked into my daydreams. I want to change the ending and stop fixating on all the bad scenarios.

It’s a long process lol

I understand if you feel comfortable PMing me I have the PDF to some of the authors I mentioned specifically Brene Brown you can watch her videos on youtube and decide if you like her and Louise Hay is available at a lot of libraries.
Healing from trauma is certainly an arduous process be patient with yourself and you can always post in this thread.
Do you feel any guilt towards the situations? Or do you feel like you need to forgive yourself for anything real or imagined that could be one reason, if you don't feel worthy?
 

HeadsWillRoll

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I think my Maladaptive Daydreaming is waining. My daydreams are starting to become shorter and more sporadic as the years go on. I no longer have a strong 'itch' to daydream when I'm out and about, because they're not valuable to me. If I'm lucky, I can keep up one daydream for a couple of days, but I eventually get bored, then move on to the next. It's more casual to me, which is why I can half-daydream midconversation. I wouldn't have been able to do that years ago, because I'd be so engrossed in my daydream.

My daydreams are also starting to become more realistic. I'm daydreaming about my real self, which I'd never have done years ago. But, as I'm suffering from severe depression, it helps me to cope with it better. I oftentimes imagine myself in situations that I just went through, but dealt with the situation better. Or, I'd have somebody supporting me through my depression and suicidal ideation.

When I was in my mid teens, I legit lived a double life, lol. I was a young woman, about mid twenties, who had a husband, lived in an apartment, and was pregnant. Sounds crazy, right? I don't see it as any different to reading a book that's a POV.
Speaking of books, my imagination helps me to visualise stories. It's like a movie playing in my head, and I'd read so much when I was in my teens. I imagine it makes my reading experience ×10 better.

I think it's good for people to be aware that they do have a Maladaptive Daydreaming problem, so that even if they do not plan on quitting, they're simply aware they have it. So, when opportunities and such do arrise, they know they need to prioritise real life over their imaginary world. Daydreams will never feel as fulfilling as real life, in my honest opinion.
 

incogneato

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Since you now know what you have you catch yourself before you start daydreaming and distract yourself with my something real..I have decreased my daydreaking by 60% doing this. I used to daydream all the time.

60% is a huge decrease. How did you do it?
 

incogneato

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Yes. I’ve made money off of it. My daydreams have put me in front of very important people praising my work. My best advice for you is to love your maladaptive. Make it work for you. Don’t let it control you. Especially if you’re artistic in it.

How are you profiting from it? You do not have to go into detail, but how did you flip it?
 

incogneato

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I daydream that I am a totally different person.Actually having friends, hanging out with them, being loud/outgoing in class, being generally liked etc.
 

DominaHW

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Turn it into something useful and write a book or a script or a short story maybe. You can create a fascinating world in your head that other people may find fascinating as Well!

Came in here to say exactly this. I'm guilt of being a Walter Mitty type at times, but I try to use my daydreams as motivation for actually getting them.
 

DominaHW

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You are daydreaming of the life you wish you had

I did that whenever I was in a bad position in life. When I pursued what I daydreams about I stopped daydreaming. I found it that I actually didn't like some things or I completed some goals.

You are dreaming of a life you wish you had? What's stopping you from living the life you want?

These are great points.
 

incogneato

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I understand if you feel comfortable PMing me I have the PDF to some of the authors I mentioned specifically Brene Brown you can watch her videos on youtube and decide if you like her and Louise Hay is available at a lot of libraries.
Healing from trauma is certainly an arduous process be patient with yourself and you can always post in this thread.
Do you feel any guilt towards the situations? Or do you feel like you need to forgive yourself for anything real or imagined that could be one reason, if you don't feel worthy?
I would PM you but people on here can get a bit nasty or share your business in threads if you don't agree with them.

I'm gonna listen to those videos posted in this thread.

I don't feel guilt towards those situations, just extremely sad. I want to close that chapter of my life for good so I can heal more.

I have always been treated by men and once I stopped accepting it I felt good. But the pain is still there. I want to be able to give my day dreams a happy ending and to minimize the amount of daydreaming I do.
 

Liliu

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I would PM you but people on here can get a bit nasty or share your business in threads if you don't agree with them.

I'm gonna listen to those videos posted in this thread.

I don't feel guilt towards those situations, just extremely sad. I want to close that chapter of my life for good so I can heal more.

I have always been treated by men and once I stopped accepting it I felt good. But the pain is still there. I want to be able to give my day dreams a happy ending and to minimize the amount of daydreaming I do.

Well if there is no guilt I don't have any other ideas. We're all on our own journey continue going to counseling and try to stay busy, working, reading things that feed you and help you heal as well as writing. Also, if you workout or even if you don't look into Yoga and Pilates. Good luck and don't be too anxious about the time that healing takes it's not wasted.
 

incogneato

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OMD I literally just looked this up hoping to find a space where black women are talking about it and good old LSA came through.

I have suffered from this problem for years OP and I'm finally trying to do something about it. MD has taken over my life and causes so much destruction to the point that it is affecting my work and relationships. The addiction is so strong I've lost hours and even days from MD.

Hope you get through it as I hope to as well.
 

incogneato

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I'd also like to clarify that MD isn't just about dreaming about what you wish for. Many people with MD daydream about negative things. It is an addiction to escaping from your sense of self and can be triggered by trauma and loneliness. Some people daydream ordinary scenarios but in a different reality to how they would want to play them out. Some people live alternate lives with MD. They know the difference between their daydreams and real life so it's not a hallucination but the addiction to living in your mind can be destructive. Some people may even talk and act out their daydreams; I do this.
 

incogneato

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Yes. I agree. If you have negative happenings in your life, your MD will be just as negative as your experience or outlook.
 

HeadsWillRoll

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I daydream that I am a totally different person.Actually having friends, hanging out with them, being loud/outgoing in class, being generally liked etc.
Me, too. I feel like my daydreamed personality is how I would be if I didn't have my anxiety, and if I wasn't ugly. I feel like I can be myself in my head, whereas I cannot be myself in the real world. It's is a necessary alternative for me… what else can I do? Nothing. I don't even have any friends.

It sucks when you kind of come to the realisation that it could not be a reality… it has left me in tears at times, but not in a while, thankfully. But, that kept happening to me about a year ago. My daydreams tend to be more realistic. I'm just a slightly altered version of myself, most of the time.
 

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